by J. L. Berg
“You’re moving to New York?” I asked in bewilderment.
This can’t be possible.
“Yeah, but I can’t decide where to live. Do you think you could help me find a place?” She grinned.
Reaching out, I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to me. She let out a high-pitched yip and laughed as her legs fell around my thighs.
“You will be living with me,” I said. “Forever.”
Our lips met, and I was in heaven again with the sweet taste of her kiss and the way she molded her body against mine. She was my salvation.
Life—it really did go on, even after insurmountable grief, debilitating sorrow and a life waiting to begin. As long as we were able to love and be loved in this world, no heart would ever be beyond repair.
Love had brought me to her and there, within her arms, I had found a reason to live again. She was my angel, my Lailah, my love.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP…
My eyes still shut, I listened, focusing on my surroundings, as I felt the sheets, smelled the air, and did my mental checklist.
“Oh my God, Lailah! Turn off that damn alarm!” Jude mumbled.
I laughed, remembering exactly why I’d stopped doing the mental checklist a long time ago.
There was no need.
Every morning, I awoke in the same place.
Home.
It didn’t matter if we were in our high-rise Manhattan apartment or in a hotel room on the California coast. The man next to me would always be the only home I ever needed.
I opened my eyes to find Jude buried under our covers with his pillow firmly covering his head.
“You know, you could turn it off,” I suggested with a smirk.
The pillow lifted, and I saw his doubtful expression change as he looked over at the alarm clock on my side of the bed. A wicked grin crossed his face as he suddenly sprang, pinning me underneath him, while he reached across to cease the loud beeping. His hard naked chest brushed against mine, and I felt my nipples pebble instantly.
“That was an excellent idea,” he said, surveying his new view like a king.
“It’s never good to be lazy,” I whispered.
His mouth took mine. My hands dived into his short hair as my legs wrapped around his waist.
An hour later, he’d thoroughly proven just how necessary alarm clocks were.
I raced around our hotel room, looking for my lost shoe.
“This is all your fault!” I yelled, pushing my head under the bed in search of the long-lost nude pump.
“You weren’t complaining last night,” he scoffed. “In fact, I seem to remember something along the lines of, ‘Oh God, Jude, never stop…please never stop.’ Can’t blame a guy for trying to follow directions.”
My head reappeared from the lower recess of the bed, and as I stood, I turned away to try to hide the blush he’d caused. I felt his tender touch wrap around my waist as he turned me around.
“I love seeing that. Don’t ever hide it.” He smiled, brushing his thumb down my reddened cheek.
“I can’t find my shoe,” I said with a pout.
His smile widened as his eyes narrowed in on my bottom lip.
“Focus, tiger.” I laughed. “Shoe. Me. Need it.”
“Right,” he answered. “Okay, one shoe coming up!”
After ten minutes, he was on the bed with his shoulders slumped in apparent defeat. “Are you sure you can’t just go barefoot?”
I gave him a hard stare.
He shook his head, lifting his hands in surrender. “Okay, give me the shoe.”
I handed him the left shoe, and I watched him walk to the hotel phone. He punched a single digit and waited.
“Hi, yes. I need someone to go retrieve some shoes for me—and fast. Size seven and a half. Nude. Maybe a two- or three-inch heel?” He looked up at me for confirmation.
My dumbstruck face just nodded.
“Good. Thanks.”
“Oh my God, what did you just do?” I asked, laughing.
“I used the benefits of this ridiculously expensive hotel.”
“That was like watching a deleted scene of Pretty Woman.”
“Except?” He moved from the bed and stalked forward.
“Except you’re way hotter,” I answered.
“Good answer.” He stopped himself several steps from me and turned back around. “If I touch you again, we’re never going to make it there on time.”
“Well then, stay over there. If we’re late again, Grace will kill us.”
“It was the rehearsal dinner. It wasn’t even the rehearsal, and it was, like, five minutes.” He waved a flippant hand as he slumped down in the desk chair and began to tie the silk tie around his neck.
I went into the bathroom and finished curling my hair, loving the way the soft coils tumbled down my back. Taking a new interest in clothing and makeup, I’d turned into quite the girl since my recovery. Grace had been thrilled, constantly emailing me sales and brands she loved.
Being in the hospital, I’d never had an opportunity to dress myself the way I’d wanted. Everything was made for comfort, and although I still loved my sweats and yoga pants, I enjoyed dressing up for an evening out. This body of mine had been through the ringer, and it had always been something I was proud of, just not particularly interested in adorning it.
Now, I was proud and showing it.
I finished attaching the back of the diamond earrings Jude had bought me several months earlier, and I looked at myself in the mirror one last time just as a knock came to the front door of our hotel room.
That couldn’t possibly be the shoes.
“Hey, angel, your shoes are here!” Jude called from the other room.
I walked out and found a stack of shoes at least six boxes high.
“Holy crap,” I said, gazing up at the display.
“Well, with sizing difference, I wanted to make sure you had options. So, pick what you want to wear now, and keep the rest.”
I tried not to let the designer labels deter me.
The second day I had been in New York, he had taken me shopping. I’d nearly had a stroke, short-circuiting that brand-new heart of mine, when I came in contact with some of the price tags I’d been handed.
Money was part of Jude’s life now. It had taken him a while to adjust again after living with so little for so long, but now, he had a different outlook on all of it.
It was a gift, and he enjoyed sharing it, especially with me.
Finding him in a pair of jeans and a ratty old T-shirt on the weekends still made my heart flip-flop, but I would trade a pair of scrubs for a suit any day.
That man was made for suits.
When he’d insisted on paying for my tuition, I’d fought him on it. It had been one epic battle. Eventually, he’d won out, arguing that I would never be able to work as a counselor without a degree. I’d finally decided my life calling was to help those out there like me—the people who felt cheated and hopeless because they were born different from the rest of the world. I’d had an amazing counselor when I was younger, and I hoped I could make that kind of impact on someone else’s life one day. It was a long ways off, but someday, I’d get there. I had originally planned on working to pay off my tuition. I could also have taken loans and found scholarships. Jude had given me a firm no to all of that.
“Go work at McDonald’s, for all I care, but do it only if that’s what you really want to do,” he’d said. “You’ve spent your entire life buried. Now, it’s your time to finally do whatever it is that makes you happy. Go to school, Lailah. Be whatever it is that you’re destined to be.”
I had nothing but time now, and what an amazing gift it was.
Time was not our friend this morning though, and I quickly made a decision, picking a pair of peep-toe pumps similar to the ones I had packed—or I thought I had packed.
We raced out the door and prayed traffic would be in our favor as we drove toward the sandy beach.
What
a beautiful day for a wedding.
“See? Right on time,” I said as we pulled the rental car into a parking spot along the boardwalk.
Looking out at the water’s edge, Lailah’s eyes searched around until she spotted the small gathering of white chairs, and she smiled. “There it is,” she said.
“I really wish they had let us help set up last night,” I replied.
I jumped out of the car to grab her door. If I wasn’t quick about it, she always beat me to it. She’d roll her eyes when I did this, but I thought she secretly loved it. A faint blush would blot her cheeks as she exited, and that was exactly why I kept doing it.
“Might want to take those shoes off when we get to the sand,” I suggested as we walked arm in arm toward the stairs leading down to the sand below.
“Oh, good call.” She bent down and slipped them off, exposing her cotton-candy pink toes. “I wonder if I should go check on her.” She looked back at the hotel behind us.
“You’re here!” a bubbly voice cried, running up to steal a hug.
“Your belly!” Lailah exclaimed, looking down at the tiny round belly of her best friend.
“I’m finally showing!” she squealed, running her hands over her enlarged stomach.
Lailah laughed, placing her hands over Grace’s.
“I think you might be the only woman on the planet who was upset about not getting a belly right away.”
Grace’s eyes twinkled as Brian, her husband, came and joined us.
He wrapped his arm around her waist. “She wanted to go shopping for maternity clothes the second the stick turned pink.”
I watched as Lailah shook her head, laughing.
“That sounds like you,” Lailah said.
Grace was only four months along, and her little belly was on perfect display in her gauzy floral dress. I had no doubts she’d bought it three months ago just for the occasion. That woman was a planner.
After some long overdue catching up, we were told to take our seats.
Lailah and I excused ourselves and walked to the front as the minister joined us.
“I can’t believe this day is actually here,” Lailah said softly in my ear.
We all turned, Marcus came to join us.
I gave him a brief nod and grinned. “It’s about time.”
His gaze warmed, and I felt his hand cup mine. Looking down, I watched him drop a sleek white gold band into my palm.
“Can’t be the best man without that,” he said. “I wouldn’t be here without you, J-Man.”
“Maybe not today, but it would have happened eventually.”
My hand closed tightly around the cool metal band just as the music began to play softly in the background. I took once quick glance toward Lailah and caught her gaze. She smiled, clutching the small bouquet of sunflowers in her hand that Grace handed to her at the very last moment.
We both turned just in time to see Molly making her way down the sand. I heard Marcus’s breath catch as he first caught sight of his bride.
Her hair was braided beautifully down her back, and her simple ivory gown made her look sophisticated and regal. As she slowly moved forward to the front, she passed the intimate gathering of friends and family. Then, the entire world seemed to melt away as Marcus and Molly took each other’s hands.
All I could see was Lailah.
As the minister spoke words of love and eternal commitment, I saw Lailah’s eyes glisten as she watched her mother and Marcus exchange rings. My heart beat faster as the ceremony came to a close, and Marcus and Molly kissed each other for the first time as man and wife.
Everyone clapped and cheered, but all I could think about was Lailah and what I was about to say.
So much planning had come to this one moment.
Hugs and congratulations were shared as the few guests joined the couple under the arch.
I shook Marcus’s hand, and he grinned, knowing what was coming.
“Are you all packed?” Molly asked, holding Lailah in her arms.
“Packed?” she asked. “We aren’t leaving for a few more days.”
Molly smiled, turning to me.
“Actually,” I said, pulling the envelope from my pocket, “we’re leaving tonight.”
I handed it to Lailah, and she opened it. After pulling out the first-class tickets, her eyes skimmed the words written on them. Her lip began to tremble as her hands shook.
“We’re going to Ireland?” she asked.
“Yeah. No more placeholders, Lailah,” I said. “We’re really going.”
“But…” She hesitated, looking up to her newly married mother.
“We’ve known for weeks. Now, get your butts out of here!”
Molly laughed, and Lailah engulfed her in a huge hug.
“Don’t forget me,” Marcus said.
Lailah pulled him into their family hug. “I’d never forget you…Dad.”
Marcus’s hand tightened around her before letting go. “Get going, you two,” he choked out, his eyes blinking several times, as he tried to compose himself.
I took her hand, and we made our way to the car.
She stopped us just as I opened her door.
“I can’t believe this. You’re just full of crazy surprises,” she said, her expression joyous.
“Oh, you just wait,” I said, grinning, as I helped her into the car.
We made our way to the airport to make yet another one of Lailah’s dreams come true.
Two days later, among wildflowers and castle ruins as the sun peeked through the clouds on our perfect Irish day, I got down on one knee and made all my dreams come true with a single question.
And she said, “Yes.”
1. Fall in love
2. Earn a college degree
3. Learn more about my mom
4. Get a job
5. Stand in line for something
6. Go to a carnival
7. Take a vacation
8. Go a day without medication
9. Watch a high school football game
10. Go on a roller coaster
11. Apply to college
12. Watch fireworks
13. Sing at a karaoke bar
14. Put my toes in the ocean
15. Mow grass
16. Be a best friend
17. Live on my own
18. Dye my hair pink
19. Get hit on
20. Go to a baseball game
21. Help a friend move
22. Go skinny-dipping
23. Go grocery shopping
24. Buy a car
25. Be kissed until I’m breathless
26. Spend a day at the farmer’s market
27. Visit a foreign country
28. Get my ears pierced
29. Ride a bike
30. Go to the library
31. Adopt a dog
32. Paddle boat around a lake
33. Order a ridiculously expensive cup of coffee
34. TP a house
35. Play miniature golf
36. Eat cotton candy
37. Go to the drive-in and make out the entire time
38. Go to prom
39. Experience a hangover
40. Pay bills
41. Buy my mom a birthday present
42. Go to a roller-skating rink
43. Dance in the rain
44. Get a bad haircut
45. Jump in a bouncy house
46. Have a sleepover
47. Get a bikini wax
48. Make love
49. Dance in my living room
50. Go caroling during Christmastime
51. Have an entire conversation in only text messages
52. Go furniture shopping
53. Babysit a child
54. Buy lingerie
55. Visit an art museum
56. Make snow angels
57. Eat dinner by candlelight
58. Do a Lemon Drop
59. Try sushi
60. Go
to an ice cream parlor
61. Learn to ice-skate
62. Make a meal from start to finish
63. Go to a bachelorette party
64. Get a pedicure
65. Spend an afternoon fishing
66. Spend an entire day outside
67. Go on a hayride
68. Take salsa lessons
69. Try on wedding gowns with my mother
70. Make an apple pie
71. Go to a movie theater
72. Have my heart broken
73. Learn to use a hammer
74. Have a makeover
75. Eat fast food
76. Ride a Ferris wheel all the way up to the top
77. Get married
78. Catch lightening bugs
79. Go camping and sleep under the stars
80. Get a massage
81. Learn to stand up for myself
82. Have a picnic
83. Change a diaper
84. Take a hike
85. Fail a test
86. Run errands on my own
87. Fly on a plane
88. Adopt a child
89. Have someone to miss
90. Plant a garden
91. Make a sand castle
92. Celebrate an anniversary
93. Take a yoga class
94. Go boogie boarding
95. Go someplace humid
96. Go on a hike
97. Get a speeding ticket
98. Hail a taxi
99. Go to an adult store
100. Go trick or treating
101. Volunteer at a children’s hospital
102. Ride a horse
103. Go to a gym
104. Learn to eat with chopsticks
105. Take the subway
106. Burn an entire batch of cookies
107. Get a Facebook profile
108. Walk a mile start to finish
109. Read a “dirty” book
110. Go to a birthday party
111. Have a girl’s night out
112. Go on a date
113. Go to a strip club
114. Get a tattoo
115. Go apple picking
116. Drive a car
117. Get a tan
118. Go swimming
119. Rake leaves
120. Fly a kite
121. Ride in the back of a cop car
122. Vote in an election
123. Take a writing class
124. Sleep through the night
125. Eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner