by Adele Abbott
Fortunately, I hadn’t seen anything of the witchfinder overnight. Sooner or later, I would have to tackle that problem head-on, but now wasn’t the right time.
Jack was a lot happier because he’d been taken off the ‘mad woman with a wizard for a husband’ case, and given something a little more meaty to get his teeth into. That was why he’d gone into work early, while I was still in the shower. Before I set off for work I had a phone call to make.
“Jill?” Kathy sounded half asleep. “What’s wrong? Why are you calling at this unearthly hour?”
“Can we meet tonight after work for a drink?”
“Since when do you and I meet for a drink during the week? Or ever for that matter?”
“I have a little surprise for you.”
“I’ve seen your surprises before.” She sounded sceptical. “Can’t you tell me what it is?”
“No, but I can promise that you’ll really like it. Can you meet me in Bar Piranha at six o’clock?”
“Okay. I’ll get Pete to pick up the kids from school. He can make dinner for a change. Can’t you give me just a little clue what the surprise is?”
“No, but I can guarantee that you’ll thank me for it.”
***
I needed to talk to the owner of Clowns’ List. Both clown deaths had been as a result of equipment bought from that online marketplace. It turned out that the website was in fact run by a man named Todd Prince, from his bedroom. Unfortunately, he lived at the other end of the country. After I’d contacted him via email, and explained my interest, he’d invited me to visit his house, but that would have taken a lot of time and expense for what was probably going to be a very short discussion. I did have the option to use magic to transport myself there, but I tried only to do that in an emergency.
It was Todd who came up with the bright idea that we could speak on Skype. I’d readily agreed, and we’d arranged to make contact that morning at nine-thirty.
But there was a problem. My antiquated desktop computer had decided it no longer wanted to run Skype. When I tried, it made a strange noise which translated to ‘not today, sorry’. I couldn’t even use the one in the outer office because it was waiting to be repaired. I think Jules must have fried it with her YouTube exploits.
It was nine fifteen. I had only fifteen minutes to come up with something. And then I remembered that Winky had a tablet. I’d seen him use it to communicate with Bella on Skype.
“Winky!”
He appeared from underneath the sofa, still half asleep.
“Do you still have your tablet? The one you used to talk to Bella on Skype?”
“Yep. Still got it.”
“Do you think I could borrow it? I need to speak to someone in connection with the case I’m working on.”
“You want to borrow my tablet?” He suddenly seemed more awake.
“Yes, please.”
“What’s it worth?”
“Salmon?”
“Nah. That doesn’t really work for me.”
“I’ve got to be online in fifteen minutes.”
“In that case, you must be pretty desperate?”
What had I been thinking? Why had I let him know how urgent it was?
“What do I have to do for you to let me use it?”
“How about you rip up the agreement that I signed? The one where I have to clean the office?”
“No chance.”
“Okay then.” He disappeared back under the sofa.
He had me just where he wanted me, and he knew it.
“Okay, Winky. I agree.”
He reappeared. “Go on, then. Rip it up.”
I pulled open the drawer, took out the agreement which he’d signed, and tore it into shreds. “There. Are you satisfied now?”
“Sure.” He reached underneath the sofa, grabbed the tablet, and jumped onto my desk.
“Nice doing business with you.”
When I’d discovered that Todd Prince ran Clown’s List from his bedroom, I hadn’t realised that he did it while wearing his pyjamas. His interest in clowns was self-evident because his pyjamas were covered in them. So was the wallpaper behind him.
“Hello.” He shouted at the screen.
“Hi. Thank you for agreeing to talk to me.”
And then he began to pick his nose. Did he not realise how Skype worked? That I could see everything he was doing? I’ll spare you the gory details.
“As I mentioned in my email, Todd, I’d like to ask you about the equipment that is sold on Clowns’ List. Are you concerned that it could be dangerous?”
He stopped picking his nose for a moment—thank goodness. “Not at all. I suspect you’re referring to the deaths of Bongo and Mr Laughs?”
“That’s right.”
“There really is nothing untoward. In both of those cases, the equipment sold was perfectly safe.”
“How can you be sure of that?”
“It had been certified by the Clown Testing Labs.”
“The what?”
“The Clown Testing Labs was set up by NOCA some years ago. Props are put through rigorous tests. Only those that pass are certified as safe. Those which fail, are confiscated.”
“And you can check that a prop has been certified before accepting an ad?”
“Yes. It’s easy to check online.”
“So how come people died using these props?”
“Unfortunately, it appears that the buyers did not pay sufficient attention to the instructions that came with their purchases. In the case of Bongo, the clown car should only ever have been used in areas with plenty of headroom, such as outside or in a big top. It was never designed to be used inside somewhere like a garage. The ejector seat worked as designed, and if it had been in a big top it would have been perfectly safe. But because he was in a garage with a low ceiling, it proved to be fatal. As for Mr Laughs, the instructions stated quite clearly that under no circumstances should the gun be fired unless there was at least twelve feet between the barrel of the gun and the target. From what I understand, Mr Laughs’ wife fired the gun from only three feet away. Even then, the force of the custard pie wouldn’t have been enough to do serious damage, but unfortunately, he fell and hit his head on a step. Both were tragic accidents, but that’s all they were. If the local press hadn’t got hold of the stories, I doubt anyone would ever have heard about them.”
He went back to picking his nose.
“Have the police been in touch with you at any stage?”
“Yes. In both instances, the police asked me to give them the seller’s details, which I was happy to do. But I’ve since been in touch with both sellers, and they confirmed the police cleared them of all responsibility. This really is a non-story. How did you come across it, anyway?”
“I’m not able to discuss details of the case I’m working on, but I can tell you that there is a suggestion that these two deaths may have been murder.”
He laughed. “That’s just nonsense. They were accidents, plain and simple. Just ask the police.”
I was glad to end the call. I’d seen enough of Todd Prince picking his nose to last me a lifetime. Was he some kind of nose-picking exhibitionist?
***
I arrived at Bar Piranha before Kathy. I still couldn’t get my head around the changes they’d made to that place. When it first opened, it had been called Bar Fish, and had been a delightful place to visit. The tropical fish had brought the place to life, but now only piranhas occupied the tanks. The horrible creatures seemed to be staring out at me as though they were contemplating their next meal.
I ordered an orange juice. Kathy didn’t arrive until just before six fifteen.
“I’m sorry Jill. Your grandmother collared me just as I was on my way out of the door. I told her that I’d arranged to meet you at six, but she said that you could wait.”
“Typical Grandma. Was it anything important?”
“No. She wanted to know where the key was to get into the front window of the s
hop. I think she was going to clean out the dragon display.”
“Clean it out?”
“It’s really weird. The bottom of the cage keeps filling with what looks like white cotton wool balls. I’d offered to clean it out earlier in the day, but she said I wasn’t to touch it because I might break something. It’s nice to know she has such faith in me. Anyway, don’t let’s talk about your grandmother. I have enough of her during the day. I’m dying to know what the surprise is.”
“Your surprise will be here in—” I checked my watch. “About ten minutes.”
“Come on, Jill. Tell me what it is.”
“No. Go and get a drink. You’ll see soon enough.”
Kathy went to the bar, and ordered herself a gin and tonic.
“Well?” Her patience was almost exhausted.
I took a slow sip of orange juice. “Not long now.”
“You must be Kathy,” a man’s voice said.
Kathy spun around to find Murray Murray standing behind her. Her face was a picture. “Murray?” She finally managed. “Murray?”
“Would you two ladies mind if I joined you?” He was wearing a black suit today.
“Please do.” Kathy patted the seat next to her.
“See, I told you you’d like your surprise,” I said.
“But—err—I—how?” Kathy could barely string two words together. She was too busy ogling Murray Murray.
“Your sister, Jill, came to my rescue yesterday.”
“She did?” Kathy glanced at me, but then quickly looked back at Murray Murray.
“Someone deliberately ran into me with a bike, and then stole my wallet and watch, but Jill gave chase, and retrieved them.”
“It was nothing,” I said, with false modesty.
“Anyway,” Murray Murray continued. “I asked Jill if there was anything I could do by way of thanks, and she said she thought you’d like it if I joined you for a drink.”
“I’m so glad you did!” Kathy gushed. “Me and my husband came to see you the other evening at Washbridge Arena. You were fantastic.”
“Thank you. It’s very kind of you to say so. I’ve taken the liberty of bringing my latest album for you.” He took a CD out of his pocket. “Would you like me to sign it?”
“Yes, please. Could you write: ‘To Kathy with love, Murray Murray’?”
“I’d be delighted.”
I’d expected Murray Murray to rush away as soon as he’d finished his drink, but he stayed and chatted for almost an hour. We were interrupted every now and then when someone recognised him, and came over to have a selfie taken with him, or to ask for an autograph. Murray Murray handled it all with style.
“I really do love this area of the country,” Murray Murray said. “In fact, if I could find the right house, I’d probably buy a home here. It would be a good place to get away from London. Unfortunately, I’ve looked around a few times, but nothing really caught my eye.”
“Funny you should say that,” I said. “I might know just the place for you.”
***
Murray Murray had eventually made his excuses and left because he had a show later that evening. Kathy was still beside herself with excitement. I was now her favourite person in all the world for having introduced her to her idol. I wondered how long that would last. Not long, if I knew Kathy.
She and I had no sooner said our goodbyes than my phone rang. It was Grandma. This was becoming something of a habit, and one I could have done without.
“Hello, Grandma.”
“Jill. You need to get down to Ever straight away. It’s an emergency.”
“What’s wrong this time?”
The line was already dead, so I hurried over there as fast as I could. The first thing I noticed was that the glass cage in the front window was empty.
“Where’s the dragon, Grandma?”
“It got away.” She looked distraught; the wart on the end of her nose was throbbing red like some kind of beacon.
“What do you mean, ‘got away’?”
“Just what I said.”
“How?”
“I let it out so I could clean the cage, and somehow it got out of the front door.”
“Hadn’t you locked it?”
“I thought I had.”
“Where is it now?”
“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be asking for your help, would I?”
“Is it dangerous?”
“Of course it’s dangerous. It’s a dragon.”
“It’s only a baby though, isn’t it?”
“It has very sharp teeth and claws, and it can breathe fire. How much more dangerous do you want?”
“Did you see which way it went?”
“It ran across the road towards that stupid sea shell shop.”
“Sea shells and bottle tops, actually.”
“Really? Do you think now is the time to quibble about exactly what rubbish that shop sells?”
“Sorry. You were saying?”
“I lost sight of it once it was on the other side of the road. You should be able to track it down because the cotton dragon leaves a trail wherever it goes.” She pointed to the floor where there was a line of what looked like small, white cotton wool balls.
“Okay, you stay here in case it comes back. I’ll follow this trail and try to track it down.”
Chapter 14
Great! This was precisely what I wanted to be doing—chasing after a baby dragon. Fortunately, the trail of cotton wool balls was relatively easy to follow, but I’d need to act quickly because it would soon blow away, and if that happened, I’d never find the stupid creature. The white trail led down an alleyway, which ran between Betty and Norman’s shop, and the hat shop next door.
That brought me out onto West Street. From there, the white trail led across the road to West Park. Before I could set off in pursuit, I heard a familiar voice.
“Jill? Are you all right?” It was Jules who was arm in arm with Gilbert—he of the perfect complexion.
“Oh? Hi, Jules. Yes, I’m okay.” I glanced across the road. If I didn’t hurry, I’d lose the dragon for sure.
“Are you looking for something?” Jules had obviously seen me look over at the park.
“Err—yes—err—I’m looking for Winky. I don’t know where he’s gone.”
“The cat is in the office.” Jules looked puzzled. “I saw him just before I left for the day.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Positive. He was fast asleep on the sofa.”
“Oh? That is good news. Well, I’d better not keep you both. Bye.”
Jules kept looking back, as she walked away. She no doubt thought I’d lost my mind. Again!
As soon as they were out of sight, I hurried across the road, and found the nearest gate. Once inside the park, I managed to pick up the white trail. This park was much smaller than Washbridge Park, and there were very few people around. I followed the white trail until it came to a halt at a thick clump of bushes. A middle-aged woman was standing next to them, and she seemed quite distressed.
“Young lady!” She called to me. “Could you help me, please?”
“What seems to be the problem?”
“My dog, Brandy, has gone in there, and she won’t come out.”
I could hear a dog barking excitedly from somewhere inside the bushes.
“I think she must have seen something. Maybe a squirrel.” The woman continued. “But I can’t get to her—there are too many brambles.”
She was right. I would have torn myself to pieces if I’d tried to push my way through.
“I’ll go around the other side to see if it’s any better,” I said.
It wasn’t, but I would have to get through the bushes somehow. I checked to make sure that the woman hadn’t followed me, and that there was no one else around, then cast the ‘shrink’ spell. Now the size of a mouse, I scrambled through the undergrowth and eventually came to a clearing. Once there, I reversed the ‘shrink’ spell. The J
ack Russell took no notice of me. She was too busy barking at the cotton dragon, which seemed totally unperturbed by the dog’s presence. When the dog began to move towards it, the cotton dragon breathed a stream of fire, which sent the dog scuttling backwards. Fortunately, it appeared to be no more than a warning shot, which struck the ground a couple of feet in front of the dog. But, the stupid mutt didn’t have the sense to run away. Instead, it began to move towards the dragon again. I was worried that the dragon’s next shot might fry the dog. I had to act, and I had to act quickly, so I cast the ‘rain’ spell which made a small rain cloud appear above the cotton dragon. The short downfall soaked the dragon to the bone, and extinguished its flame. While the dragon was still stunned, I shrank it, and zipped it into my pocket.
Now, though, I had a problem. I needed to get the dog out, but I wouldn’t be able to do that if I shrank myself. I had no option but to fight my way through the brambles while pulling the dog behind me by his collar.
“Brandy, there you are!” The woman grabbed the dog, and then turned to me. “Thank you so much. I’m so very grateful. Are you alright? Your arms and legs are scratched.”
“I’m okay, thanks.” I wasn’t, but at least I had the cotton dragon.
I made my way back to Ever, where Grandma was waiting anxiously.
“Did you get it?” she said, as soon as I walked through the door.
“Yes,” I took the tiny cotton dragon out of my pocket, and handed it to her.
“Good. I’ll get it straight back to Candlefield.” She looked me up and down. “And for goodness sake, tidy yourself up, Jill. You look like you’ve been pulled through a hedge backwards.”
***
I couldn’t go home looking like that. My arms and legs were a real mess, and my hair was full of twigs, leaves and goodness knows what else. Jack had sent me a message earlier to say he was already on his way home, so there was no chance of grabbing a shower and getting changed before he got in.
I always kept a change of clothes in the office—just in case of an emergency. I could use the showers at I-Sweat to get cleaned up. I’d still have the scratches, but provided I got rid of all the dried blood, Jack would probably never notice. You know how observant men are.