by Aimee Brown
“I dunno… Give me a second.” She’s frantically typing into her phone, probably Googling how to remove spray tan. It can’t be a problem never googled just hours before a wedding.
“This says, to slather on a layer of baby oil, let it sit for fifteen minutes and then scrub with lemon juice and baking soda.”
“What about my hair?” I glance in the mirror at my new adorable hair.
“We’ll just have to refix it. I have some oil.” She disappears from my room, returning within the same minute with a tiny bottle of baby oil. “Get to slathering, I’ll go down and make the scrub, I’m sure Hannah has everything.”
Baby oil is not a fun product. Once I had my top half covered in it the bottle was hard to manage to cover my legs. But somehow, I managed and now I can’t even sit because it’s so thick I’d likely just slide off anything I sat on.
“Here.” Lily comes back in with a stiff loofah sponge and a container full of yellowish goop. “It’s probably been about ten minutes, so get in there, steaming hot and scrub till your skin bleeds.”
“That seems a little drastic, doesn’t it?” I take the concoction from her and walk into the shower. Right when I was happy with how my hair turned out, I have to mess it all up and hope that the outcome is the same.
“Either have pink skin from over scrubbing or look like you tried to change race?”
“Fine, I’ll scrub till it hurts.” I did, I scrubbed every area until I couldn’t take it and then I moved onto the next and then, in the end, I had to rewash with a regular loofah just to get the oil completely off my skin.
“Better?” I walk out still in a towel to see Lily sitting on my bed watching TV.
“Oh… Yes. I’d say you’re half as dark now. Still a little darker than I’d choose, but it looks almost normal.”
“Really?” I glance in the mirror right as Hannah walks in.
“Time to get—” She stops and stares at me. “What happened to your hair?”
“The spray tan went wrong and we had to scrub it off.”
“What?”
“I looked like I sat in the sun for hours.”
“And this is the after-scrub?” She’s got her jaw clenched through her forced smile.
“Yeah… Still terrible?”
“A little dark, but definitely not terrible. But… now you need to refix your hair, do your makeup, and get dressed.” She sighs with a frown.
“Got it, Lily will help me, right Lil?”
“Absolutely. Nothing to worry about.”
Lily and I both grin at Hannah, who eventually forces out a smile, even though it’s not one that screams she’s got faith we’ll make it happen on time. We will though.
After today I’m not sure I want a girls’ day ever again. The makeup, hair, and girly stuff has gone so wrong and taken so long, and now, an hour before the wedding, when I look into the mirror I barely see me, but a tanned blonde that I hardly recognize.
“You look amazing!” Lily stands back and admires all the hard work we’ve done in the last hour. “Seriously, I think all this makes even the hideous dress look better!”
“Really?”
“Yes, you are just, wow.”
“Aw, thank you!” I squeeze her by the neck, causing her to giggle while struggling to get free. “After a rough few hours you totally just made my day. I was so afraid I was going to be the laughing stock of the wedding.”
“There’s no way for that to be possible now. In fact, I think you’ll end up with all eyes on you.” She grabs her bag and hands me my shoes. “I think you might even have a couple of men to choose from after tonight.”
“No, remember, the Liam thing is just a favor. A business deal really.” No way am I going to mention that this deal is favor for possible favor. I’m not sure what kind of favor I might be getting myself into at some point in the future, and I’m sure Lily’s thoughts will go right to the worst possible idea.
“A favor, Right.” She stares at me, eyebrows raised in disbelief.
“Will you stop?”
“Fine, but don’t come crying to me when they’ve both fallen in love with you and you can’t decide between the two of them.”
“I promise that won’t happen. Now let’s go before Hannah has a stroke worrying about us.” We are running late and we promised Hannah we would be there in plenty of time for the wedding. Liam agreed to pick us up the moment I texted him and that was five minutes ago.
“Hello?” I hear him in the foyer yelling up the stairs for us. I told him to let himself in if we weren’t already out front when he got here.
“Be right down!” I yell through the doorway before slipping on my stripper heels. “Let’s go.”
When I reach the top of the stairs Liam’s face lights up with a look that is half confused, half intrigued. “Wow! You are just…” He smiles and runs a hand through his hair. “You are gorgeous. I love the hair.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Seriously, I haven’t been speechless for a while.” He holds the door open as Lily and I walk out to his SUV. “I’m sure Jack will fall head over heels for you.” His face drops a bit when he says it, and my heart hurts momentarily when I hear the disappointment in his statement.
“Doubtful, but thank you.”
“I’m just glad to be the date of the prettiest girl in the room for the night.” He helps push all the feathers safely into his truck before running around to his seat.
I can’t believe it but we might actually make this wedding on time, and I’m looking even better than I did last night.
Twelve
The Funeral
Three years ago.
Northwest Portland, Oregon
“She’s gone,” I say with a cry. A cry that no matter how hard I try to hold it back, it surfaces.
“I am so sorry, babe.” Jack walks around to where I’m standing, pulling me into him, allowing me to cry into his chest for the thousandth time.
“I’m sure she’s happy to be with Dad again,” Evan attempts to lighten the mood and make me feel the tiniest bit better.
“I’ve already taken care of everything,” I hear Jack say over my head to Evan.
“I couldn’t let you do that…”
“I wanted to,” Jack reaches away from me, and pats Evan’s shoulder.
“You can stay as long as you want to, we can send the chaplain in if you’d like?” A nurse tries to smile through a frown.
I know even the nurses were not looking forward to this day. My mom had become the mom of the ward for the last few months she’s been here.
I’m not sure you can die of a broken heart, but it sure appears to be that way. One day she was fine, and a few months after Dad died she got weaker and weaker. When we finally convinced her to go to the doctor they discovered that her heart was failing. She refused most options they gave her, and only lasted a few more months living on her own before we had to have her admitted to the hospital.
Her only request was an en-suite kitchen so she could cook for the staff. Not exactly something they do for the terminally ill but the idea of it was nice. I dug up all the old videos our father made of Evan and me as kids and Jack hunted for a projector that could play them. When she wasn’t playing games on the iPad Evan bought her, she was snuggled up in bed watching old home movies.
She was never alone in her time in the hospital. Either Evan or I slept here with her and if for some reason we couldn’t, Jack and even Amelia had no problem taking a turn.
The last time I left her side was a week ago. I knew her passing was getting close so I couldn’t force myself to leave or even take a shower.
Stop being sad for me Emi, I’ve had a good life. You just make the most of yours as I did mine.
She said it practically every hour, which would only send me into more fits of crying. I don’t have a lot in the way of emotions unless death is involved. I just don’t do well with death. Especially since I have such little family as it is.
*
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“Ready?” Jack asks as I step out of the town car and onto the grass of the cemetery.
“No.” I shake my head, pulling my sunglasses over my swollen eyes. I watch the ground below me as I follow Jack, my hand in his, Evan at my side as we make the trek through the graveyard to the burial site. It’s spring, so the blooms on the trees and the birds singing their songs makes the day almost one to remember.
I half listen to the preacher as he speaks about earthly memories. One hand in Evan’s and another in Jack’s, and Jack’s amazing family standing behind us to honor a woman they hardly even knew. A woman who will never see her children get married, or have babies, and never get to celebrate the big moments in life with us.
When the crowd starts to thin out Jack walks me across the grass to look down at her headstone.
“I wanted to give you something,” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a rectangular box, opening it to display a beautiful sea green Sterling Silver wrapped dichroic glass pendant.
“It’s beautiful,” I sigh.
“Your mom’s ashes are spun within the stone. She’ll be with you always.” He pulls the necklace from the box and clasps it around my neck. “I also had one made as a keychain for your brother.”
I stare down at the stone around my neck, a tear sliding down my cheek.
“You made this day perfect, not only for me but for Evan too. I know he’s the manly, shows no emotions kind of guy but he needed you as well.”
“It was nothing,” Jack says with a smile. His lips touch my forehead and I know that he’s now my normal. Even without my parents, I couldn’t go on without him.
“Ready to go back to the house?”
“Sure.” I nod, sliding my hand into his and taking one final look at my mother’s final resting place. It’s beautiful, just like her.
*
“Emi dear!” My Aunt Maggie engulfs me in a giant hug. “She was such a marvelous woman. She’s happier now, though.”
I nod my head and fight back the tears. Every time someone hugs me more tears seem to appear as if they are never ending. “You know anytime you need me I’m just a few miles away, right?” She holds me at arm’s length with a serious look on her face. “You haven’t lost everyone. You still have me, Evan, Uncle Melvin, Jack and his wonderful family too. We’ll all be right here for years to come.”
“But… what… about… when… I… get… married… or… or… or…” I try not to sob it out but it just happens.
“Or what dear?”
“Or get pregnant? Who will be there then?”
“Well, I will! Your mother was a good twelve years older than me so I’ll gladly take her place in all those events. Anytime you need anything a girl would go to her mother for, you come to me.” She says it sternly, as if I can’t hear it over the sobbing.
“Emi…” Evan walks up to us. “Can I get you something?”
I shake my head.
“Has she eaten at all since we got here?” Jack asks, already piling food on a plate.
“Not that I’ve seen.”
I’m sitting at my mom’s dining table, a plate piled high full of food that will exceed any calorie counting I’ve been doing has just been set in front of me. Mac and cheese, scalloped potatoes, ham, everything but anything green. Jack knows me too well.
“Here ya go, sugar. I got you a coffee, just the way you like it.”
I start to cry as he hands it to me. And he doesn’t run. He smiles, sits next to me and rests his hand on my thigh. He’s been here since she died and he’s comforted not only me but Evan too. Even though I know he’s tried to hide it, he’s not doing well either.
“Emi! You poor sweet girl.” Amelia’s heels click across the tiled floor quickly towards me. “Evan, come over here.” She pulls us both to her in a hug. “Anything you two need, you let me, or Jack know. You’ve been a part of our family for so long and this is no exception. Do you understand that?” I nod as she pulls away, trying desperately to keep the tears back and not make direct eye contact with Evan as for some reason that always seems to make things worse.
“My lord, girl, you look terrible. You can come to stay with me for a while.” She glances at Evan, “do you need a place to stay too?”
“No,” he shakes his head with a small grateful smile. “I’m thankful you all will help take care of Emi, though.”
“But I can’t—”
“Nope, there will be no buts. You will move into Jack’s old room and I will make sure you get through this.”
I shrug my shoulders, not having more of an answer than that. I guess staying with Amelia and Robert for a few days wouldn’t kill me. Walking around this house I once shared with my mom is doing nothing but making this whole thing even harder. Every time a memory pops up I lose it, and I’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly for far too many months now.
“Alright,” I force a smile and nod.
I pick at the plate Jack brought me, watching all the people I know and love share stories about my mother. They laugh, hug, and I’m just not there yet. I can’t seem to talk about her as if she’s in the past. To me, she’s been my whole life.
*
“I’m nervous. Are you nervous?” I fidget with the necklace Jack gave me at the funeral as Evan and I sit in Jack’s partner Andy’s office.
“Not really.”
“But what if there is more than we expected? Or less?”
“Either way, it’s more than the five hundred dollars in my account right now.” Evan grins. He’s bounced back from this much quicker than I have. Which I guess considering he’s a guy is understandable. The only thing different is how close him and Jack have become. Like true brothers.
“How are you always broke?” I ask him, wondering how Mom and Dad always considered him the more responsible of the two of us. “You’re single, you live in a crap apartment, and you work all the time.”
“I know how to have fun. You should try it sometime.”
“What? I’m fun! Ask Jack!”
“No, thanks,” he scrunches his face into a disgusted look.
“OK, kids.” Andy walks in behind us holding a file full of papers. “First thing I need to say is how sorry I am about your mother. The few times I spoke with her she seemed like a great lady.” He drops the file onto his desk and sits down in his chair. “As you know, your parents were quite well off.”
We both watch as he slides on a pair of glasses while opening the file in front of him. “And while there are no stipulations on the inheritance, your parents have made some… requests.”
“Requests?” Evan asks, looking suddenly nervous.
“Suggestions, really. Are we ready?”
“Oh, God,” I mumble under my breath. I know what my parents were like. This could be very bad.
“Let’s start with Emi… You will, of course, receive half of everything, and your parents have suggested that you start living the life you want. Don’t rush it. Enjoy things and make the little things count. Forgiveness is the opposite of stubbornness.” Andy says the last sentence with a single eyebrow raised as it makes completely no sense but sounds exactly like something my mom would’ve said.
Evan nods his head with a smile. “Even in death, they know you’re stubborn.”
“Not so fast, Mr Harrison. You too will receive half of everything, and their request for you is that you take care of your sister and stop trying to populate the earth with every woman you meet. They ask that you find a nice girl and settle down and remember that self-respect is more important than a one night stand where some woman walks away hurt.”
I want to laugh out loud but I know those words cut deep for Evan.
“While they both agreed that you are relatively level headed, you don’t always make the best decisions. That should change.”
“So, we both suck?” Evan asks with a laugh.
“Essentially,” Andy laughs. “Their final request is that we sell their house. You keep what you want from the i
nterior and focus on the life that YOU want. Invest and save before pissing away the entire estate.” He slides off his glasses and jots a note on two separate slips of paper before turning them over and sliding them across the desk to each of us. “This is the amount you’ll each receive, and of course, this is minus any taxes or debts that needed to be paid.”
Evan and I both take a deep breath before turning over our numbers.
“Holy shit,” I announce, holding the note to my chest and glancing over at Evan.
“Yeah, that’s a bit more than the five hundred I mentioned, earlier isn’t it?”
“That it is, Mr Harrison, so be wise. You two are young, you have a lot of life ahead of you and you’ve now got a head start. Don’t blow it, like I see so often with the young ones.”
“I won’t,” we say in unison, both a little stunned at the turn of events.
“Emi, I know that you live in the house right now. The house was listed yesterday and we’ve already got interest, so I would advise you to be looking for a new place to reside, in the very near future.”
“OK,” I say, kind of sad that this part of my life is moving on without my parents. I’ve lived in that house my whole life so to leave it quickly, well… it’s gonna hurt.
*
“That’s a lot of money, Ems.” Jack stands at the oven cooking dinner as I go over everything that happened earlier today.
I’ve got folders and papers spread across the island trying to get my things in order.
“I know, AND I have to move, like pronto. Where should I even look?” I scroll through the apartments for rent site I’ve got up on my laptop but nothing seems like somewhere I’d want to live.
“Actually… I had an idea.” Jack disappears into his room for a moment before coming out holding a small wrapped package in his hands.
“You bought me a present?”
“I did. And if it’s not something you’re ready for, let me know, there is no pressure here.” He nods at the gift now in my hands. “Open it.”
I’m nervous. He already gave me the best gift he ever could, the necklace with my mom’s ashes. I haven’t taken it off since and now, there is more?