Longing for the Impossible

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Longing for the Impossible Page 2

by Tiara L Giles

“I’m Keirsten. If you hadn’t forgotten already.” She took my hand and gave me a big smile. “Nice to finally meet you.”

  She then pushed Serena towards me. Serena almost tripped from the force, but quickly recovered. I chuckled as she stuffed her hands in her pockets and looked down for a moment.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi.” I grinned. I could tell a million thoughts were floating around in her head by the way her eyebrows furrowed slightly and the way her lids sat on her eyes. Her brow relaxed when she picked one. “It’s good to see you again, Brandon.”

  “You too.” And it was so good to see her. You would’ve thought with two years of not seeing her I would’ve moved on completely.

  “You’ve still got that goofy hairstyle of yours.” She tugged a curl and placed it over the top of my head as she clicked her tongue. I folded my arms and a large smile pulled at the corners of my lips. Yep. Definitely not over her. “Everything but your hair upgraded.”

  “And you’re still short.”

  She placed her arms on her hips and pretended to be upset. “Hey, I grew half an inch last year!”

  “Half an inch is only a small difference.” I touched the top of her head and gave her a quick once over. Keirsten laughed and Serena pursed her lips. Her lips twitched as she tried to look insulted. A small smile creeped out and she turned away to open a locker. The warning bell rang indicating one minute left until the start of the next class.

  “We’ll see you at lunch, Brandon.” Keirsten began to pull Serena away. Serena looked back and gave me a small wave.

  SERENA

  I found my usual lunch table covered in unfamiliar beings resembling humans. Fan girls emerged from the depths of darkness, infecting my table. Only a few jocks and jockettes were allowed to circle my sanctum. Most of the people at this table were my friends. So why were all these humans here?

  I stuck out my lower lip. I didn’t own the table, but I didn’t like this change either.

  “That’s not an attractive look, babe.” Sven sat, wrapping an arm around me.

  “Shut up.”

  He laughed, sitting his tray down between Keirsten and I. Keirsten had her head on Keith’s shoulder. He whispered softly to her while opening a burrito packet and she giggled. I hoped I could have something like that one day. Today was not that day, and this wasn’t that semester.

  Alana “Cheer Captain from Hell” Treadway and Brandon emerged from the swarm of students. They were smiling and talking at high speed as they took their seats across from me. Sven folded his arms and sent Brandon a taunting smirk. Brandon’s smile faded, and his eyes darkened for a moment before the corners of his lips lifted up again as he listened to Alana’s update on whatever soccer player they knew.

  Sven leaned against my shoulder. “Looks like your former fanboy finally hit puberty.”

  Puberty did him well. At least to me. His eyes seemed much older than before. His shoulders were broader. His jaw was stronger and his voice was deeper. The kind of voice that would make your skin tingle. He wasn’t the same thin soccer boy with long pretty hair he used to be.

  “Hey Lana.” Trinity, my other best friend with long dark hair and the same green eyes as her brother grinned at Alana. How were they even friends? The cheer squad was like a sisterhood but being like family didn’t make you friends.

  “Hey Trin!” Alana pulled the seat next to her out for Trinity to sit.

  “Brandon!” Trinity placed her lunch tray filled to the brim with food on the empty spot at the table. She wrapped her arms around her brother before taking her seat.

  “Why are you so excited? I saw you at home.” Brandon leaned over the table to get a better look at his sister.

  “Because you haven’t lived with me in two god damned years you little punk.” She placed her hands on the table and lifted her eyebrows, twisting her lips. Trinity and I were practically sisters until about two years ago when Brandon moved away, and my mother decided to close me off from the world. I still called her one my closest friends despite not being able to hang out with her as much.

  Our friendship with Keirsten on the other hand was more recent. She moved to our town right after Brandon had left and started dating his friend Keith a few months later.

  Brandon laughed and turned his eyes to me. “How’ve you been? It’s been awhile since we last spoke.”

  “I’m fine,” I said and spit out more words when I noticed the small drop in his face. “I’ve been fine. Good, I guess, but a lot has changed.”

  “What do you mean, ‘It’s been a while’?” Keirsten asked picking food off her boyfriend’s plate. “You guys stopped talking?”

  Brandon nodded. His expression looked casual. His eyes seemed hard. “I’m blocked.”

  “Blocked?” Keirsten lifted a hand to her chest. Her eyes shot between Trinity and I. Trinity shrugged. She didn’t understand why I would block Brandon on social media and my phone. Why would I block him from everything? A guy I had previously called my best friend since I could walk.

  Everyone’s eyes fell on me as whispers broke out. My mother had blocked Brandon and any friend of mine she didn’t like or trust. She said bad company led to bad character. I wasn’t sure what was bad about Brandon or half of the people she blocked. I was surprised she didn’t just ban me from the internet all together.

  “Sorry,” I said and laughed in short awkward spurts, lifting my hair out of my face. “It’s kind of a long story.” I felt naked with all of their eyes on me. I needed a blanket to cover myself. To keep them from looking inside and seeing all the wounds I’ve racked up in the past two years.

  “So . . .” Alana yelled, touching Brandon’s shoulder. Everyone’s attention left mine and scattered around the table to each other. I relaxed my shoulders and returned to eating my food. “What made you come back?”

  “My old school sucked. I thought it would be cool to graduate with some good people.”

  “Your dad let you come back for that reason?” I lifted my brow. His dad was the type to tell you to stick stuff out. If you started something you finished it. No matter how terrible it was. There was no way his father would have let Brandon come back in the middle of something else.

  “Yep.” He nodded and his eyes hardened.

  “Yeah right.” I hoped he could see the challenge in my eyes. I could see a lie from a mile away. My mom taught me that.

  “I don’t really care why you came back,” Alana said pushing her blonde hair out of her face. “I just hope you still like us.”

  “So far so good.”

  We locked eyes before he smiled at Alana. She blushed and shot me a triumphant glare before caking her sweet smile back on. I stuffed a large forkful of my lasagna in my mouth. I thought my last semester would just fade away. I planned to bare my teeth and throw myself fully into my school work to ignore the boringness of it all. However, things seemed to pick up and become interesting.

  3

  Serena

  I stalked after Trinity once lunch ended and grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her to the side behind a wall in the hallway.

  “What?” she asked, slouching her shoulders.

  I folded my arms and narrowed my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me he was back?”

  “I thought you knew.”

  “How would I know?” I moved my hands back and forth. I was always in the dark.

  “I don’t know, your mom? A random car pulling up across the street at night?”

  “Well obviously not. My curfew is way before yours or else I would’ve said hello when he moved in.”

  I could’ve just looked out of my window, but I hadn’t thought of that. Trinity looked around the hallway before rolling her eyes. I placed my hands on my hips.

  “Well, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She sighed. “I honestly thought you knew.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “But hey, you’ve got your favorite person back.” She smiled, waving her arms back and forth in a dance-like motion. />
  “I met you both at the same time. You know, shortly after birth . . . near the diapers.”

  “Either way, Serena, you can be yourself again . . . happy.”

  “I’m not that depressed, and I barely know him anymore.” I could tell she didn’t believe me, but one person couldn’t make me happy. “We stopped talking a long time ago. It might not be the same.”

  “Did you ever try to talk to him?” She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her navy blue skirt. “He wanted to talk to you.”

  “No. I couldn’t. You can’t just try and talk to someone like him when your mom controls every aspect of your life.”

  She sighed and nodded.

  “Why now, though? We graduate in five months.” I didn’t see myself transferring schools in the middle of the year. There wasn’t time to adjust and get used to the environment. I know he’d already been here before, but it was still so long ago. Something bad must have happened.

  “Ask him.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, and she raised her hand.

  “Ask him,” she said. “He doesn’t really like to talk about it, and he doesn’t like it when I bring it up. So, out of respect for my twin, I’m not saying shit. He’ll tell you at some point. It might not be easy.”

  “Alright.” I moved my body away from the wall. “So, tell me about Alana’s freak out.”

  “Girl. That shit was crazy.” Trinity began as we headed towards our classes.

  BRANDON

  “How was your first day back, son?” My father had called me as soon as I got home. I was surprised he didn’t call the second classes had ended. Trin had went to Keirsten’s and my mother was still at work. I was left alone in our massive three bedroom house meant for the full family that used to be here. The walls were a bright white but somehow looked dim.

  “It was good.” I walked into the kitchen and pulled some pizza bagels out of the freezer.

  “That’s good. See any of your old friends?”

  “Yeah. A few.” My dad used to be easy to talk to. I learned a lot from him, and I looked up to him. I wanted to be like him until I found out why he and my mom broke up.

  “You know, son. I support you, but I don’t understand why you couldn’t just spend the summer with your mother instead of going there in the middle of the school year.”

  I turned the oven on and let it heat up before putting the bagels inside.

  “I don’t know. It’s a lot better than seeing you cheat on Stephanie.” I hopped onto the counter and put my phone on speaker. I had come home one day and saw my father and some woman sprawled all over the living room floor together. Stephanie could have walked in any moment, but he didn’t fucking care. He just laughed it off and told me to act like I didn’t see anything.

  “Look son. That was one person, and Steph was out of town for a while. It was a moment of weakness. Happens to everybody.”

  “Is that what you told mom?” My parents marriage ended two years ago when she finally had enough of dad’s cheating and lying about working late every night. He tried to normalize it then. Just like he was doing now.

  “Watch your tongue, Brandon,” his voice was oddly even.

  “You didn’t watch yours.”

  I regretted it just as the words left my mouth, but it still felt good to say it.

  “Look. I know it’s difficult re-adjusting to your old life and all, but you need to show your father some respect.” I rolled my eyes as the oven beeped. I hopped off the counter and took out my food.

  My dad didn’t respect my mother or Stephanie so how could he expect me to respect him? I took a bite out of a pizza bagel and returned to the counter. “Why should I?”

  “Brandon Luciano Eliot.” I imagined the look on my dad’s face. He probably had his eyes closed and was pinching the bridge of his nose to keep his cool. Fuck his cool attitude.

  “Alright.”

  “Good.” He let out a sigh and cleared his throat. “Now tell your sister I said hello. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen her.”

  “Okay.” I hung up the phone and headed towards my room. My old bed was still here and my blinds were rolled up. I allowed myself to look at Serena’s house as I chomped on my food.

  The blinds were still shut tight aside from her window. She had one curtain parted. I remembered her having a small bench in front of the window. We would sit in front of the window during the summer. She would read, and I would be playing some handheld game my parents had bought.

  Her mother’s car pulled into the driveway. Serena appeared in front of the window for a brief second before the curtain dropped. A lot has changed.

  The rain fell hard, blinding my vision. I was soaked in a shower of tears coming from the night sky. My body sank into the ground. I tried to move, to save myself from being swallowed, but I was stuck. The mud covered me. Inch by inch. A figure stood in front of me, and I grabbed at it, panicking. I tried to speak, but my mouth was glued shut. The figure moved closer to me, and my eyes widened. I pleaded. I needed out.

  “Stay away from her!” I heard someone scream. The figure reached out to grab me but was pulled back by a dark force.

  “Stay away from her!” they screamed again. Darkness engulfed the figure, leaving me to sink further into the ground.

  My heart pumped fast in my chest as I startled awake. I was covered in sweat, and my hands shook. I touched my face and pinched my arms. I was still in my room. I puffed out a breath of relief. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real.

  I grabbed my cell phone and clicked the lock button. It was 3:53 a.m. It was too late to call either of my friends. I walked across the room to turn on my small desk lamp and crawled back into bed.

  BRANDON

  I exited the AP English literature class that I shared with Serena and that god awful Sven. They were walking side by side together as if they were the closest people. How was she able to be friends with this dude after how he treated her? Were they back together?

  That didn’t matter. I didn’t come back to Stewartsville High to worry about who she was dating. She was her own person. We hadn’t seen each other in years and even then she was interested in Sven. If she still liked him then that was her choice.

  However, I still wanted to know why I hadn’t heard from her in two years. Why she had blocked me. I may no longer be friends with Sven, and for good reason if you asked me, but I didn’t ask to lose her either.

  It was strange how I didn’t hear her voice over the phone whenever I spoke to Trinity. They were practically attached at the hip. I quickened my pace to catch up with Serena and Sven. Maybe I could get a few answers from her.

  “So about that nap in class.” Sven smirked at Serena and she punched his shoulder. “Why do you always hit me?”

  “You act like that actually hurts your feelings.” Serena grinned.

  “You break my heart every time.” Sven placed a hand over his heart. Serena and I chuckled. God the man still flirted with her. Maybe they were together.

  “You are so cheesy,” she said. He had a big stupid grin as if he had real feelings for her.

  He turned towards me stuck out his hand. “Sorry, I didn’t speak to you yesterday, man.”

  “I didn’t expect you to.” I thought about not shaking his hand, but Serena looked worried. The last time we talked this much we fought. I gave him a firm grip when I shook his hand.

  “Rightfully so.” Sven nodded as I released his hand. Serena sighed. I wasn’t going to fight him again. She had nothing to worry about. The past was the past, and I planned to move on, but I wouldn’t put up with his shit. She had no fucking idea what happened that day. “I parked over there. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

  “Bye, Sven.” Serena gave him a quick hug, and I had half a mind to roll my eyes.

  “You got a ride home?” I fell in step with Serena. She nodded, tucking her hair behind her ears and grabbing the straps of her backpack.

  “I ride the bus.”

  “Oh okay.”
I scratched my head and placed my other hand in my pocket.

  Serena looked from the front of the bus line to the back of it and then pulled her phone from her pocket and slumped her body. “It’s not here yet.”

  “You in a hurry?”

  “Sort of.” She watched another bus come in and her eyes dropped when she realized it wasn’t hers. “My mom doesn’t like to beat me home.”

  “Oh?” I said and she nodded. I wondered what that meant. “What’s your bus number?”

  She told me it was 2313, and I said I would help her look out for it. Trinity had practice and would be going home with Keirsten. I had plenty of time on my hands. “So why’d you block me?”

  “What?” She blinked but I didn’t repeat the question. I tilted my head and folded my arms instead. She looked away. “Oh. I didn’t. I didn’t block you.”

  I lifted a brow at her. She pulled at the gloves on her hands as if she were fascinated with them. “Who did?”

  “Sophia. My mom.” Her chocolate brown eyes finally looked at me.

  “Why the fuck would Sophia block me?” Last time I checked her mother was laid back and thought of Trin and I as her own. Her mother and mine were best friends. I could see her telling Serena not to talk to my dad, but I couldn’t see her cutting me off.

  Serena’s eyes evaded me again, and she went back to playing with those damn gloves. Her mouth opened and closed. Her hands went for her hair, pulling the strands back as if she was about to tie the curls into a ponytail. I waited for her answer. I didn’t want to rush her no matter how eager I was to know what was going on.

  “A lot has changed since you left,” she said for the second time. “Things just aren’t great anymore.”

  She clasped her hands together and looked past me.

  “How?”

  “It’s just-” Her eyes lit as she spotted something behind me and she stood on her toes. “That’s my bus. I gotta go.”

  “I’ll catch up with you later then?”

  She nodded and gave me a quick wave before running off.

 

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