My legs got wobbly, and I collapsed on the trail. “When?”
“Last night. Something about her being unconscious in the bathroom. Mel, what are we going to do?”
“Mel, what’s wrong?” Dad squatted down in front of me.
“We go see her, make sure she’s okay.” I looked up at him. “Amelia’s in the hospital. I need to get there fast.”
“I’ll meet you there,” Raine said, sounding like she was done with her babbling. “I’ve got to drop the bros off at the house first.” There were some loud complaints in the background. “Shut up!” Raine sighed. “Look, sorry for yelling. Amelia’s in trouble, and I’ve got to go. Mel, I’ll call Cass and find out which hospital so we know where we’re going.”
Dad gave me a hand up. He had his own phone out. “Look, there’s a shortcut over here. I think we can get back to the car faster if we use it.”
I gave him a big hug. “Thanks, Dad. I appreciate you understanding.”
“Amelia’s your cheerleader. I understand.” He dusted me off. “You up for jogging back to the car?”
“Sure.” I nodded. Anything to get me to the hospital. Maybe if I made it this time, a friend would still be alive when I got there and I wouldn’t lose someone else. We took off as fast as I could.
With every step, I was afraid I’d be too late again. When Jessica, my friend in Texas, had died, I hadn’t been there. Dad and I had been down on the coast visiting relatives when the call came. Dad was a real trouper when it came to my friends. I think he thought if I had enough friends and he was always there, it might make up for Mom not being there. It didn’t, but I would never tell him that. When Jessica’s mom had called, Jessica had still been alive. She’d been on life support but had still been there. Her system was crashing from lack of nutrients and had gone downhill to the point where nothing the doctors were doing was helping.
We’d driven across the state. Dad had gotten three speeding tickets and had talked his way out of two more, but he hadn’t cared. We’d just pulled into the hospital when Jessica’s mom called to say it was too late. The family was coming out of the hospital when we reached the doors. I’d hugged Mrs. Langford for ten minutes as we stood there sobbing. It had been as hard as losing my mom. I vaguely remembered Dad taking me home and tucking me into bed. For almost a week all I did was cry as I tried to understand what had happened.
It had taken a few months of counseling, and Dad had been there at my side through the whole thing, but eventually I understood Jessica had a disease and she’d hidden it from everyone around her. Sure, I and a bunch of our friends had noticed things like weight loss and how tired and drawn she’d been, but we didn’t chalk it up to more than depression since she’d broken up with Kevin, her boyfriend of three years, a few months before and had never recovered from that. After the funeral I’d cornered Kevin at school and asked him why they’d broken up, and he’d told me he’d found someone skinnier than Jessica. I’d hit him hard enough to knock out his two front teeth. It was the only time I’d ever been suspended from school, and there had been more than a few times I’d wished I’d done more to him than knocked out a couple of teeth. He didn’t even realize that he’d killed Jessica with his words.
DAD STAYED quiet as we drove to the hospital. Raine’s text with the address had come as he reached the car. Dad had known where it was and said it wasn’t too far away. The drive seemed to take longer than our run back to the car.
As we pulled up, I spotted Raine looking miserable on the curb near the doors. “Dad, let me out here.”
He shook his head. “You’re not going through this without me.” He swung away from the curb and quickly found a parking place.
Once the car was stopped, I didn’t wait for him. I got out and raced to Raine. I caught her up in my arms and kissed her. It didn’t matter that we were out there in public, or that my dad was walking up behind us. She looked as bad as I felt, and I knew she needed me.
“I just got here,” she muttered as our lips parted. “I couldn’t bring myself to go in and see her without you.”
I held her hand. “It’s okay. I understand. Dad’s going in with us.”
He walked up and gave her a quick hug. “I’m here for you girls.”
Raine gave him a weak smile. “Thanks, Mr. Carson, my folks are busy today, that’s why I was taking my brothers to the movie. They’re up in Fort Collins with my grandmother who’s….” She paused, closed her eyes, and shook her head. “Sorry. I’m rambling again.”
“It’s okay. You’re going through a lot. Let’s go in and see how Amelia’s doing.” He ushered me and Raine toward the door. I held Raine’s hand, and I didn’t care if anyone noticed.
Between Mom’s death and Jessica’s, I hated the smell of hospitals. The antiseptic smell of bleach and alcohol instantly depressed me. I squeezed Raine’s hand when Dad let go of mine to walk up to the reception desk and ask the woman there where Amelia Yarmer was. It took her a couple of minutes to stop chewing her salad, pull up the information, and direct us to the elevators.
As the steel doors closed on us, my heart pounded furiously. Raine’s hand began to shake as we rose up to the third floor. “This can’t be happening.”
I kept hold of her hand and turned so I could hug her. “We’ll get through this together. We’ll be in time. We have to be. She has to be okay.”
Tears hit my neck. “I hope so,” she muttered.
“I know so.” I did my best to sound sure and brave. I didn’t want to think that Amelia might end up like Jessica. I wasn’t ready to lose either of them. We all had to be strong and get Amelia back on the track to good health.
The elevator door opened, and Dad stepped through, then put his arm out so the door wouldn’t close on us. He glanced up, then pointed to the right. “This way.”
I hadn’t paid enough attention to things when he’d been at the information desk to know where we were going. With each step I wanted to turn and run back for the car. I didn’t want to be there. I couldn’t handle another person I cared about dying. Even with Raine there, I’d probably lose it completely. They’d have to put me in a padded room and drug me silly if Amelia died. It wasn’t fair. I’d just found her. That kept playing over and over in my head as we walked for what felt like a mile before we finally stopped.
The little brown box on the yellow wall next to the slightly open door read Amelia Yarmer. There weren’t many doctors or nurses around. The halls were quiet.
Raine looked at the door and then looked at me. Her expression was a mix of worried and scared.
She’d been Amelia’s friend longer than I had. She should go first. I gestured to the door.
She nodded and after a quick squeeze, let go of my hand. She knocked on the open door. “Amelia?” Before anyone could respond, she pushed it the rest of the way open and walked in.
I followed, and was somewhat bolstered by Dad behind me.
Amelia lay on the bed. She was awake, but hooked up to several machines and looked horrible. She turned her head and smiled. “You guys came.”
Raine and I rushed over to the bed, one on each side.
“Of course we came,” Raine said, taking her hand.
“Why wouldn’t we come?” I asked, taking her other hand. Holding her hand helped chase the fears away, the ones that had engulfed me since Raine had called. I’d made it in time for once. If I was there, Amelia was going to be fine. There wasn’t any doubt.
“What happened?” Raine asked.
Amelia frowned. “I don’t know. I remember going up to the bathroom. I must’ve gotten sick and hit my head or something. I’m not sure. I woke up here. Mom was hovering, all worried about me. The doctors are still running tests trying to figure out what happened.”
I had an idea of what happened, but it didn’t seem like the time or place to try to explain to Amelia again that she had an eating disorder and had about starved herself to death. I held her hand as tight as I could. “It doesn’t matter what happe
ned. It only matters that you’re going to be okay.”
“You’ve got us,” Raine added. “Together we can get through anything.”
“Who are you and why are you in my daughter’s room?” Amelia’s mom’s voice came from the doorway.
“Oh, we haven’t met.” My dad stepped up to meet her. “I’m Roger Carson, Mel’s dad.”
“And why are you here?” She pushed past him. “Amelia needs rest, not company. I told Ms. Cavenaugh that she wasn’t to encourage any of the squad to come up until I told her it was okay, let alone let the word out at school that anything was wrong with Amelia. She said she understood. You shouldn’t be here. Any of you.”
I let go of Amelia’s hand and stepped toward her. “We just wanted to make sure she was okay. She isn’t returning our texts.”
Ms. Yarmer frowned. “How could she? She’s in a hospital. She doesn’t need her phone here. It might interfere with some important machine or something. I don’t want her killing people because of a stupid text from one of her stupid friends.”
It hadn’t taken much for me to pick up on the fact that Ms. Yarmer didn’t like me. I didn’t know if she suspected we were more than friends, or if it was something else. Maybe she thought I wasn’t good enough to be a friend to her daughter; anyway, at that point it didn’t matter. I was fairly sure she was the one killing Amelia, just as sure as Kevin had killed Jessica. The sad thing was, I couldn’t hit her.
Raine touched my shoulder. I hadn’t even seen her move from Amelia’s side. “Hey, maybe we should go.” She looked at Ms. Yarmer. “Can we come back in a couple of days and check on her?”
“A couple of days?” Ms. Yarmer huffed. “She’ll be back in school by then. You can see her there.”
I looked over at Amelia lying in the bed looking so much worse than she had when we had come in. I felt so sorry for her. It hadn’t even occurred to me that her mother would be such a bitch as to throw a fit in her hospital room. It wasn’t fair. “We’ll see you at school, Ames.” Then I mouthed, “Love you,” and walked out as Raine said goodbye and my dad apologized for us intruding.
As we walked away from the room, heading back to the elevator, I vacillated between wanting to punch Amelia’s mom and wanting to break down. I doubted she even realized she was the one killing Amelia. She was probably so wrapped up in her creepy dolls and shit that she didn’t see what she was doing. She was the one pushing Amelia to be unnaturally skinny.
“She’s a complete bitch,” Raine muttered as we got into the elevator.
My dad was too cool to react to her language, but I knew he didn’t like it.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Carson. I didn’t mean to call her names. I know that’s not polite,” apologized Raine.
He patted her on the shoulder as the elevator started down. “I totally understand and agree. You have to remember that your girlfriend’s mother is under a lot of stress right now.”
Raine looked from him to me. “You told him?”
Dad was cool. He shook his head. “She didn’t have to. I’ve got eyes, and I know Mel. I’m happy she found you too.”
I hugged him tight. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Now, you two need to do your best to be cool until Amelia gets out of the hospital. If you upset her mom, you’ll upset Amelia, and we don’t need things getting worse.” He ruffled my hair. I always hated it when he did that. “If either of you needs to talk, I’m here, okay?”
Raine hugged him too. “You’re the coolest, Mr. Carson.”
The elevator opened and we got out. I wasn’t able to express my feelings about how good Dad made me feel with his unconditional love and understanding. It was so much better than what Amelia was going through. But even with his warning about waiting for Amelia to get out of the hospital, Raine and I were going to have to find a way to see Amelia when her mother wasn’t around to be such a pain in the butt.
Chapter Sixteen
Raine
THE CHARCOAL stick flew across the paper before me, and the shadows and spaces started to take shape. I was barely in control of my hand as the scene in my head became real. It was like I was possessed. I’d always taken solace in my art when I was upset about something, and it had normally been like this. My emotions would take hold, I’d get super focused on a project, I’d draw, and nothing around me would register except the pencil in my hand and the paper in front of me. But I’d never drawn something that scared me so much. I couldn’t stop. I needed to get it out. It was a picture of a hospital room, and Amelia was in the bed, but instead of the beautiful, lively Amelia I knew, it was a skeletal Amelia with terrified eyes.
Standing above her were doctors and nurses, and they looked like they were defeated, like they couldn’t tell what was going on. At the foot of the bed was Amelia’s mom, and I’d drawn her as a demon, and she was standing on a tube that went into Amelia’s arm, blocking the flow of medicine that would save her. It was definitely an image inspired by Frida Kahlo.
The scene in my mind began to fade as the drawing before me became more vivid. Like getting it on paper was draining it from my head. The anger and darkness that had seized me as soon as Mel and I were kicked out of Amelia’s room by her awful mother started to recede. Sadness and fear started to take its place, and the blindered focus I’d worked in for the last hour lost its hold on me. I hadn’t worked like this since that terrible phase I went through when I was in middle school and I couldn’t seem to get along with either my mom or dad. I stepped away from the easel and stared at the picture. Amelia’s eyes gazed back. They were begging me for something, and it tore at my heart. I didn’t know I was crying until I was wiping away my tears.
I heard a knock on my door.
“Raine, honey?” Mom’s voice was full of concern.
“Yeah?” I said. It was barely a whisper. My throat was so tight from crying. “Yeah?” I tried again, this time more loudly, trying not to sound like I was crying. My mom knew Amelia was in the hospital. She knew I was upset. I’d given her the abbreviated version of what had happened at the hospital before I headed upstairs to my room. I didn’t tell her everything. I only skimmed over the whole thing about Amelia’s mother. I just wasn’t ready to talk to her about the details. I was afraid that in the telling I’d say more than I was willing to confide in her right now. Stuff that I was still trying to figure out on my own.
“Do you want some dinner?” asked Mom through the door.
“I don’t feel like being around anyone right now,” I said, which was partially a lie because I really wanted to be with Amelia and Mel, but nobody else.
“I kind of figured that, so I brought a plate up for you. It’s one of your favorites. Rosemary chicken with mashed potatoes. Can I bring it in?”
I didn’t expect her to bring my dinner up to me. The only other time she’d brought my dinner to the room was when I was sick. But despite the emotions I was struggling with, I was really hungry. I flipped the drawing pad cover over the easel to hide the scary drawing and moved to unlock and open my bedroom door. Mom’s gaze moved from the dish she held in her hand up to me, and a startled expression transformed her face before she rearranged it back into a forced smile.
“Are you experimenting with makeup?” she asked as she walked past me into my room and put the plate of food on my desk.
“Huh?” I looked in the mirror above my dresser. Smeared charcoal handprints decorated my face from when I’d wiped the tears from my cheeks. I looked at my fingers and they were black from the charcoal stick I’d been drawing with and still held in my hand. I looked back at my reflection. I looked like one of those old-time drama-queen actresses whose mascara streamed down their faces when they cried. So much for hoping my mom wouldn’t notice I’d been crying. I went into my bathroom and washed the charcoal off my face and hands. When I went back to my room. Mom was sitting on the edge of my bed. She was holding the teddy bear I’d had since I was a little kid in her lap.
“Do you want to talk about it, honey?” She
patted the bed beside her.
“There’s nothing to tell, Mom,” I said, sitting next to her. She didn’t try to hug me and I was glad. She did put her hand on my thigh, and it was reassuring. Mom was good at knowing what I needed, when I needed space. I told her what I told her before. “Amelia is in the hospital, and she’s really sick. I’m worried about her.”
“Of course you are. We all are,” she said. “I called Deirdre to see if there was anything we could do, and she said that Amelia would be fine.” Frowning, she shook her head. “She sounded like there was nothing wrong.”
“She’s lying,” I said before I could stop myself. It wasn’t that I wanted to protect that evil woman who Amelia had the misfortune to call “Mother.” I didn’t want Mom to ask more questions about it. Too late.
“Why would you say that?” she asked.
I sighed. Maybe I could tell her a little without getting into the rest of it. But they were so very, very religious too. They’d never been hateful to anyone, and I’d never heard them act judgmental toward anybody, but I sat in church with them most Sundays, and I heard the same things they heard. The church wasn’t tolerant of certain things, certain people. People I was now one of. She might have acted cool when Colin brought up girls kissing other girls at dinner that one time, but who knew if it would be different if it were her daughter?
“Amelia has a serious eating disorder, Mom. And I think her mom is the main reason she’s as sick as she is.”
“I suspected something about the eating disorder, but that’s a serious statement you’ve made about her mother, honey. What’s happened for you to believe this? You’ve never said anything like this before. I thought you liked Deirdre.”
“She didn’t used to be like she is now. But Amelia’s mom has always been a little weird. You know how overprotective she’s always been?”
Three Times the Charm Page 11