Drew’s mouth twitched at the corners as though that made him happy or something.
Bella stopped in the middle of the aisle once she’d added the hot chocolate and marshmallows, oblivious to the shoppers irritated by her obstructing traffic flow. “All right, let’s go. We need to pay and go back home and start decorating. Daddy’s on-call this weekend, which means as soon as we’re about to have fun someone is going to need to be cut open.”
Addie covered her mouth as Bella charged forward with her cart, leading the way toward the cash. Drew glanced over at her. “There’s actually a bit more to the job than she makes it out to be.”
Addie laughed, and Drew surprised her by smiling at her. A full-on, thousand-watt smile that almost made her trip over her own feet. “I know it is. I always admired my sisters for the number of hours they worked and the emotional toll of their careers. You guys see things that the rest of the world is sheltered from, and then you have to somehow compartmentalize it and move on and try and have a normal life with your own families.”
Her smiled wobbled at the look on his face, but he turned from her, looking ahead at Bella. “Sometimes it’s hard to find the balance, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my personal life, things I wish I could go back and fix.”
What did that mean? She was guessing he meant spending more time with Bella, because it was clear that he was working on building a relationship with his daughter. But did he also regret how things ended with his wife? Did he want to get back together with her? She would have to step aside; there was no way she’d let herself become involved with a guy who was still married in his heart. And there was no way she’d come between a family that had a chance of getting back together. She looked over at him. “I hate thinking that anything is ever permanent, that mistakes are too big to ever be fixed, especially when there is a willingness to try. Bella is looking happier by the day, so I think you should give yourself some credit for that.”
His eyes were intense, sparkling with something as he ran his hand through his hair. “I think I’d like to adopt your philosophy,” he said, his voice gruff.
“Over here,” Bella yelled, waving at the front of a cash line whose lineup wasn’t too bad.
“Clearly, confidence isn’t a problem for her,” he said.
Addie laughed. When they were done paying and checking out, they walked out to the parking lot. Snow fell in haphazard tufts, and the sky was dark, promising more precipitation for the day. “Well, I hope you guys have a great day. You’re going to be busy for hours, I think,” she said as Drew closed the trunk.
“What? Aren’t you going to come over and help us set up our tree?” Bella said, looking up at her with those eyes that always made her heart squeeze.
“Bella, I’m sure Addie is busy today. It’s her only day off. Besides, don’t you have any confidence in me?”
Bella shot him a look that clearly said no, she did not have confidence in him. “Pleeeease, Addie. I can show you my room! You haven’t seen it.”
“Oh, sweetie, I would love to see it, but this sounds like a great day to just do something special with your dad. I can come over any time,” Addie said, reaching out to tuck a strand of Bella’s hair behind her ear.
Bella’s eyes filled with tears. “You’re my best friend, Addie. Please come over,” she whispered, tears tumbling from her eyes.
Addie tore her gaze from Bella’s to look at Drew. He ran his hands down his face. This wasn’t normal for Bella. The little girl was usually in great spirits after school. Addie crouched down, and emotion swelled in her chest as Bella wrapped her arms around her neck. Addie hugged her back and knew Bella was still vulnerable from the divorce. Even though her natural disposition was happiness, she was still hurting and confused. “Okay, if your dad doesn’t mind, there is nothing I’d rather be doing today than helping you get your house ready for Christmas.”
Bella squeezed her tighter before letting go and smiling up at her, wiping the tears from her face. Drew looked at Addie. His hands were in his pockets, and his eyes were shadowed. “Thanks, Addie. I hope we’re not intruding on any plans you had.”
“Of course not. This is the best offer I’ve had all month,” she said, winking at Bella, who had taken her hand.
“Can I ride home with Addie?”
Addie’s mouth dropped open as hurt flashed across Drew’s features. She leaned down. “Sweetie, why don’t you keep your dad company? I have an errand to run first, and then I’ll be over, okay?”
Bella shrugged and nodded. “Okay, Addie.”
Addie shot Drew an awkward smile. “I’ll be over soon.”
His jaw was clenched, and he nodded. “Thanks.”
He opened the back door for Bella and then closed it once she was inside. He turned back to Addie. “We’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”
“Great.” She walked back to her car, her heart feeling heavy. She had no idea how she was getting involved in their family issues. It had started as her doing a favor for a little girl who seemed lost, but now it was evolving into something more, and she was worried Bella was going to get too attached to her.
Chapter Six
Addie carefully placed the bag of takeout on the floor in the passenger side of her car. She’d decided she’d grab lunch for them, since it was already well into the afternoon. She stopped into the new deli on Main Street and picked up three bowls of chicken noodle soup, biscuits, and baked beans.
She plugged in Drew’s address into her GPS and began the thirty-minute drive. It was the opposite direction of where she’d grown up and was actually closer to the small town of Cedar Crossing than Shadow Creek. When she pulled onto his street, she slowed her speed to adjust to the slippery road conditions as the snow began to accumulate. There was only one house in the distance, and she could see smoke tufts coming from the stone chimney. She pulled into the long driveway of the charming ranch house, and she smiled as Bella whipped open the front door and jumped up and down.
She gathered the takeout and her purse and shivered as she walked up the front steps. “It’s feeling a lot like Christmas out here,” she said.
“I was waiting and waiting! I thought maybe you changed your mind.”
“I’d never do that, Bella,” she said, ruffling the top of the little girl’s head. Bella opened the door wider, and she walked in.
“Hi, Addie,” Drew said, his voice sounding strained. “Come on in.” She looked around for him but didn’t see him.
“Daddy is under the tree,” Addie said, pointing to the massive tree in the corner of the large room. The ceilings were vaulted with rustic beams, and the tree suited the height. Sure enough, Drew’s legs were sticking out, one of them slightly drawn. She tried not to stare at the exposed stomach that revealed taut abs and tanned skin.
“Daddy is having trouble getting the lights to work. I told him he doesn’t know how to do this, but he says he’s a surgeon and if he can figure out how to cut someone up, he can figure out how to hook up some stupid lights.”
Addie laughed out loud.
“That wasn’t a direct quote,” Drew said, sliding out from under the tree. His hair was disheveled, and the lopsided grin he gave her made her toes curl.
“Daddy, did you fix the lights?”
“Let’s see,” he said, plugging them in. A second later, the multicolored lights lit the enormous evergreen, and Bella jumped up and down.
“You did it! Now we can decorate.”
“I’m glad I’ve managed to restore your faith in me,” he said, giving Bella a kiss on the head.
She beamed up at him and patted his stomach. “Of course, Daddy. I was only teasing.”
“Thanks. You hungry? Is it time I made some lunch for us?” he asked.
“Oh, I picked some up. I thought we’d be busy decorating,” Addie said, holding up the bag.
He wiped his hands on the front of his jeans. “Thanks, you didn’t need to do that. Tell me what I owe you,” he said, taking the bag from her ha
nds. His fingers brushed against hers, and a wave of heat washed over her.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing extravagant,” she said, walking with him to the kitchen.
“I don’t feel right about that. I’ll add it to the bill for watching Bella,” he said. “Oh, let me take your coat,” he said.
She shrugged out of her jacket and handed it to him with an awkward smile. She had managed to behave like a normal person in front of him, but at his home, she felt very strange. This was all very homey, very personal. “I like your house,” she said, taking in the open concept main floor.
He hung up her jacket on the rack by the door and then joined her in the kitchen. “Thanks,” he said.
“It’s the house Daddy grew up in,” Bella called out from the adjoining family room.
“You grew up in Shadow Creek?” she asked, trying to place him or his family, but couldn’t. He was older than her, but still.
He shrugged. “Not really. We’re technically closer to Cedar Crossing, so that’s where I went to school and where we shopped. Obviously, we’ve been to Shadow Creek many times, but it wasn’t exactly where I grew up.”
She hadn’t expected that at all. He seemed like a city boy right from the moment she met him. While this house was very nice, it wasn’t the type of place she pictured him in. It was rustic, and she could tell he’d had to renovate it. But it wasn’t large—it was the home of hardworking, modest people. “So, you went away for school.”
A look flashed across his face, and she couldn’t tell if it was discomfort at having to reveal something about himself…or discomfort over the choices he’d made. “I did. I guess I fell in love with the city, and I wanted to work in hospitals that had the best to offer.”
“My sisters too. Did you miss Montana?”
He looked down for a moment, his jaw clenched. Her stomach tightened, not intending on these being difficult questions, but it seemed like for him they meant a lot more. “Not really. Not until…I came back. I convinced myself there was nothing for me here, for a surgeon.” She held her breath as he looked at her, his eyes glittering with something she wished had something to do with her. It was silly because he’d never expressed anything other than reluctant friendship toward her. “What about you?”
She toyed with the stack of napkins she was holding and searched for an answer that didn’t involve her saying that she’d left because she needed to go to a place where no one knew her as Fatty Addie. “I missed it. I think I’m a small-town girl at heart, but it was good to be away. I needed the experience. I needed to see something beyond Shadow Creek in order to really appreciate it for what it is.”
He nodded, his eyes on hers, giving her his full attention. He cleared his throat. “You suit it here. Shadow Creek, I mean.”
She was going to take that as a compliment because she knew that was how he intended it. She shrugged. “It’s my home. Despite…everything, I’m happy to be back. I’m happy to see my sisters almost every day of the week.”
He smiled. “That must be nice, to have family. And of course, there’s your mother.”
She laughed. “That’s a story for another day that includes an entire bottle of wine, for myself.”
He laughed, the sound rich and warm and masculine, and had she not been so aware of her reactions, she would have probably sighed out loud. “We all have those stories, I guess.”
“What made you come back?” When had she become so bold and talkative? This wasn’t the normal Addie. The old Addie would have just smiled and not wanted to intrude. But she wanted to know more about him.
“I thought we needed a fresh start. After Bella’s mom decided to give up joint custody, I felt like it was time for a change. I…I have a lot of regrets. I worked long hours. I wanted to be there for Bella, and I have very fond memories of growing up here.”
The lump in her throat made it hard for her to speak, and she knew her eyes must look like they were filled with tears, but the emotion in his voice and the vulnerability wasn’t something she’d expected from him. She forced a smile. “For what it’s worth, Bella really seems like she’s doing great. She’s always happy after school. I think you’re doing a wonderful job.”
His jaw clenched, and he gave her a nod before moving away. “Thank you. I should probably get this lunch on the table. Thanks for bringing all this,” he said, his voice gruff.
She went to stand beside him, pulling out the containers from the bag, hoping her face wasn’t beet red. Standing this close to him, in his home, was making it so hard to resist him. He smelled like the outdoors, like a man, like…oh my goodness everything she’d denied herself for a lifetime. “Can I offer you something to drink? Wine? A beer?”
Oh, wine with Drew…but also Bella. Bella was here. Bella was the reason Addie was here—nothing more. She needed to remember that before she made a fool of herself. “Um, well, I’m not good with alcohol during the day.” Why did she say that? “I’ll stick with water and or coffee,” she said with an awkward laugh.
“Me too. I’m on call anyway. I can brew us a pot if you want to set up the food?”
“Sounds good,” she said, shooting him a smile and busying herself with the very domestic task of putting out lunch for the three of them.
“Did you have to renovate?” she asked as she set the table. The sound and smell of coffee brewing added to the coziness of the house, and it felt like a scene from a Christmas movie as the snow continued to fall outside.
He nodded, walking over with two mugs of steaming hot coffee. “It hadn’t been occupied since my parents lived here. It was dated, and a lot of the plumbing and fixtures needed work. I hired Jack Bailey and Connor O’Leary, and they started working on the place before we moved in. Pretty much done for now.”
“They did a great job. I can see they left a lot of the character in the place, though. I love that fireplace,” she said, her gaze trailing the floor to ceiling fieldstone fireplace.
“Thanks. Yeah, my dad and I built that,” he said, handing her a mug.
She smiled, trying not to look as though his fingers brushing against hers sent off a multitude of shivers of the best kind throughout her body. “Well, it’s beautiful.”
“He was very talented,” he said, clearing his throat and leaning against the counter. “Hardworking but always made time for my mom and me.”
They paused when they heard a large crash, followed by Bella’s voice. “Nobody panic! I’m fine! Just doing a little decorating in my room! Call me when lunch is ready!”
“I’m not sure if I should believe her or not,” Drew said, shaking his head.
Addie laughed. “She sounded okay.”
“I’m sure I’ll pay for this later when I see her room,” he said dryly.
“She’s clearly happy,” she said softly, knowing that’s what he wanted most for her.
“I had a good childhood. I want the same for her,” he said, taking a sip of coffee.
She wanted to say she’d had a good childhood too, but that would be an outright lie. And she didn’t want to say something like, “I wish I did, too,” because that would sound like she was fishing or feeling sorry for herself. “I’m sure they’d be happy to know you and Bella were living here.”
His eyes glittered. “I hope so. I wish they’d have gotten to know her better. They died when she was three, and they’d only seen her once a year.” His voice sounded thick with emotion, and though he appeared stoic and alone, a part of her wanted to swallow up the space between them and hug him. He looked as though he was tormented by regrets, but she knew in her heart he was a good man.
“At least they knew her; they knew you had a child. That must have made them happy,” she said softly.
He shrugged, his eyes staring straight ahead. “It wasn’t enough, what I gave back to them. After everything they did for me. My mother died suddenly of a heart attack.”
He stopped speaking and cleared his throat. “I asked my dad at that point if he wanted to c
ome and live with us in Chicago, but he refused to leave this place. He…uh, died six months later, in his sleep.”
She quickly wiped the tears that slipped from the corner of her eyes. His pain and guilt clung to every word in his deep voice. He looked strong yet vulnerable, lonely and stoic, and she wanted to cross the space between them and wrap her arms around him. “He died of a broken heart,” she whispered, then was horrified she’d said that out loud.
He turned sharply toward her, as though he’d forgotten she was in the room. His eyes were glittering and filled with sadness. “Someone said that to me once. I dismissed it.” He looked away for a moment then back at her, an expression in his eyes she couldn’t read yet made her hold her breath. “Maybe it’s true. Maybe he felt like he was nothing without her. They were so close, so in love.”
She forced a smile even though her heart was aching. “Maybe he wanted to be with her again…if they believed in that.”
He blinked, his face back to being stoic. “They believed. They believed in a lot of things that I dismissed because I thought all I needed was absolute truths; there was no room for anything else for me. But that’s not what happened in the end, because people are fallible and absolutes are not guaranteed in this world.”
“Maybe, or maybe you don’t need absolutes. Maybe you just need people who think the way you do. People who believe in the same things you do will share the dreams you have and will put those things you both value most first. People who believe in sticking it out when the times are tough and people who can still love when it seems like the whole world is falling apart.” She had no idea where that came from or what made her think she had any authority on anything; she’d never even had a real boyfriend. The last time she’d gone on a date, it had been a blind date set up by some well-meaning friends, and it had ended catastrophically with Addie stuck paying the bill because her date had whined about being fired from the gas station he was working at and had spent the last of his money on some gaming stuff and Cheetos, and had just found out that his mother was going to start charging him rent for living in her basement. She was taking the details of that date to the grave; she hadn’t even told her sisters.
A Christmas Miracle for the Doctor Page 7