The elevator doors open, but Jack doesn’t exit. He turns around to face us, blocking the way out. “Is there something going on between you two I should know about?”
I don’t risk looking at Piper. I know she’s not ready to tell him.
“Come on, man,” I scoff. “You think I have a death wish?”
“I think you make some bad decisions sometimes—”
“Thanks,” Piper says sarcastically. “Glad to know you think I’m a bad decision.”
Good, turn the tables on him. Maybe she’s better at this than I thought.
“You two just seem very … familiar lately,” Jack insists.
“Because we’ve been working together a ton,” Piper huffs. “Because you signed me up for a job I didn’t agree to. Remember?” She pushes past him to leave the elevator, and Jack’s left speechless.
Okay, she’s much better at this than I gave her credit for. She just needed to find her stride.
Jack looks a little ashamed, but it only lasts a second before he’s back to narrowing his eyes at me, still suspicious.
All this time, I thought if we just came clean with him and explained things, he could manage to be reasonable about it. But I’m not so sure now. After his grilling, I realize how close he’s scrutinizing us. He’s already caught the scent of something being awry, and from what Piper says, he’s not going to give up the hunt until he finds what he’s looking for.
The only way to stop him is to give it up. Make it so there’s nothing to find.
Six hours ago, that was the last thing I ever wanted. I would’ve done anything to convince Piper to give me a shot, to fight against the current and come clean with her brother. That was before I saw how devastated Lake is and imagined the woman I love going through that pain. Before I saw that body being somberly wheeled away from the helicopter, imagining myself under that black bag.
I should’ve listened to Piper from the start. She’s the smart one. There is no happy ending option. Even if we’re madly in love and as happy as two people can be, one wrong move could rip us apart and end it all.
The best thing I can do for Piper is keep her from ever feeling that pain. I love her too much to let her hurt like that.
Chapter 17
Piper
The sun is coming up when the doctor returns to the waiting room. Ellie’s asleep on Jack’s shoulder, Ace and King are still playing cards, neither one of them paying a lot of attention to the game, and Lake is next to me, quiet, numb, all her tears dried up. A couple hours ago I gave her some headache medicine and told her to hydrate, but she probably still feels terrible.
I’m the first one who sees him, then Jack sees me straighten up and gently taps Ellie awake. I squeeze Lake’s hand before she stands to meet the doctor. I can’t hear what he says to her, but she throws her arms around him in a big hug. I glance at my brother to see if he has an interpretation of that, but he shrugs, standing to join Lake and the doctor.
I follow, and soon we’re all gathered around, only Ace between me and King. He’s so close. I want to reach for his hand. I want his arms around me. I want him to hold me and make me forget all of this in the ways only he can.
Soon, I promise myself.
“Your friend is lucky,” the doctor says. “A ruptured spleen is a fairly simple fix in the grand scheme of things, and it’s not a guarantee, but the severed piece is large enough that it might grow to compensate for the lost portion. He lost a lot of blood, and it will be a while before he’s on his feet again, but barring any complications, we expect him to make a full recovery.”
The fist that’s been squeezing the bottom of my lungs all night finally lets go.
Asher’s going to be okay.
“Can I see him?” Lake asks.
The doctor nods. “It will be a while before he’s awake, and he may not be completely lucid with the pain medicine.”
“I don’t care; I need to be with him.”
I know that feeling all too well. I glance at King, but he’s focused on the doctor.
“For the sake of other patients, we ask that there are no more than two visitors in the room at any time,” the doctor adds, looking at our large group, clearly expecting some pushback.
“We can come back later,” Jack says, looking over to Ellie. She nods, her arm wrapped around his waist. “When he’s feeling up to visitors.”
“I can text you,” Lake offers before they head out hand in hand.
“Do you want company?” I ask, one hand on her shoulder. She covers my hand with hers and squeezes.
“That’s okay. I think I just want to be with my husband for a little while.”
I nod and give her a quick hug. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks—”
“I’ll hang out to see him,” Ace says, but King glares at him.
“We’re all leaving, doofus. So Lake can be alone with her husband. You need to clean out your ears.”
Ace looks sheepish, fiddling with his deck of cards.
“I’ll let you know when he’s awake,” Lake says, hugging Ace. “I know he’ll want to see you.”
That mollifies Ace a little, but his shoulders are still slumped as he walks toward the exit.
“Take care of yourself,” King says to Lake before he follows everyone else, not looking at me.
Did he forget that we came together?
“Thank you again,” Lake says to me before the doctor leads her away, badging her through a set of double doors.
Once she’s out of sight, I power-walk through the hospital halls to catch up to King.
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask, slipping my arm through his. He stiffens, and I pull away. He’s not okay.
“Just tired,” he says, his jaw clenched tight.
“Well, you want to come back to my place?” It’s the first time I’ve actually invited him over, and letting him into my personal space is a big deal, but I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be away from him.
Watching Lake struggle and fall to pieces over Asher’s uncertain fate made me realize how precious time is. How we really don’t know what the next day brings. How it can all be over in an instant.
And realizing how devastated I’d be if it was King makes it pretty hard for me to keep denying my feelings for him. I’m upset about Asher, and I’d be equally upset if it was Ace or Lake or Ellie, but not King. If it was King, I would be destroyed, and lying to myself about how much I care about him won’t change that.
“I think I want to go back to my suite at The Grandiose if that’s okay,” he says. It’s not a question. If it was, I’d tell him that it’s not okay. That I need him. I need to not be alone when everything hits me and I breakdown.
But it’s all hitting him differently. This crisis has made me want to cling to him tighter than ever before, but it seems like it’s making him push me away.
I don’t get it. He was just singing a love song to me before this, and now he doesn’t even want to come home with me?
I want to demand answers, but I don’t think that’s going to help anything. We’re both tired and tense, overwrought and stretched to the limit.
Maybe time alone is for the best.
“I’ll see you at sound check tomo—tonight, I guess,” he says, blinking at the sunlight.
“Okay,” I answer, wrapping my arms around myself. It’s already warm under the sun, but I feel cold. Empty.
I guess I’m getting a cab home.
It’s better than an awkward drive with him to the suburbs.
When I get home, I’m in a daze. I start to make coffee, then switch it out for wine. Normally I’d be going into work any minute now, but I’m going to take a half-day to rest and try to get my head on straight before facing the world and its demands.
I try to lay in bed, but my mind keeps racing, refusing to let me relax.
It’s after noon when Graham calls, his worried face showing up on the screen the moment I hit accept.
“Hi
,” I mutter, face pressed against the pillow.
“Are you sick? I heard you took the day off.”
“It was a long night,” I answer. My voice is hoarse with exhaustion, and even finding the energy to talk is an effort.
“A long night, huh? With a certain hunky celebrity?” he teases.
“Not that lucky, I’m afraid.”
“Is he giving you trouble again?” Graham asks, ready to go to bat for me. “I can switch out his make-up for something that’ll make him break out. Would that help?”
It makes me laugh a little, but I shake my head.
“No, that’s okay. I’m not actually mad at him. I’m just … sad. And disappointed, I guess,” I admit, on the verge of tears as I say the words.
Graham pouts, and I know if we were in person, he’d be hugging me.
“Is it over, then?” he asks, worried wrinkles forming in his forehead.
“I don’t know. Things got … weird. I’m trying not to jump to conclusions, but he’s not exactly giving me answers.”
“Then you get them,” Graham says. “He can’t expect you to happily stay in the dark while he figures his shit out.”
“Yeah,” I mumble, but my heart’s not in it. I can’t exactly be mad at King for doing the same thing I did. But at least I told him I needed time to think. He just … left me.
“I think I’m going to take the whole day off,” I decide out loud. “Nothing’s going to explode without my supervision.”
“At least you hope not,” Graham teases.
I roll my eyes. “If there’s a catastrophe, it’s Jack’s problem today.”
“Should I come over? Cocktails and sushi? Bad rom-coms? Enough ice cream to put down a horse?”
I snort, shaking my head. As much as I didn’t want to be home when I came home earlier, I can’t imagine trying to be ‘on’ enough for Graham right now.
“I’ll be okay,” I promise. “I just need to get some sleep. It might be time to break into the melatonin.”
“All right,” he says, still wavering over whether he wants to accept my answer or not. With Graham, there’s always the chance—and a pretty good chance at that—that he’ll ignore everything I say and just do what he thinks is right.
“Hold down the fort for me,” I add, hoping that’s enough to keep him rooted at The Grandiose instead of showing up at my doorstep.
“Will do. Take care of yourself, babe. And let me know if you change your mind about Mr. Dorsey’s skincare,” he adds with a cheeky grin. “Love you.”
“You too,” I say, hesitant to open myself up that much. But it’s Graham. He’s always been overly affectionate, and after all our bonding lately, we’re definitely closer than ever before.
I’ve been keeping everyone at arms’ length for so long, it’s no wonder that everyone in my life noticed the change when I started opening up.
I just hope this whole thing with King doesn’t make me retreat back into my shell. I have to make sure it doesn’t.
It feels silly to be avoiding him, but I don’t trust myself when I’m this stressed and sleep deprived. I’ll say things I can’t take back, and even if King and I are over, he’s always going to be in my life as my brother’s best friend. It’s probably best to not burn that bridge to the ground.
From my bed, I make all the arrangements so I don’t have to go into work. I wrangle half a dozen different people to cover all my duties, and I’m probably still forgetting something. Hopefully it’s nothing important.
Last on the list is letting King know I won’t be there. I try to keep it light in tone, tell him who he can talk to if something happens or he needs anything, and then I re-read the message three times to edit it for tone.
I add and delete the same emoji six times before deciding he hasn’t earned any smileys or hearts.
I get a response from him in under five minutes.
King: You okay?
Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m obviously not, and he, of all people, should know that.
Does it matter? I ask, my careful tone policing flying right out the window.
King: Of course, it does. Why wouldn’t it?
Didn’t seem to matter much this morning when I wasn’t okay, and you blew me off.
King: Jesus, Piper. Is there any way to make you happy? I’m trying to give you what you want. You’re the one who wanted things to stay casual.
I’m also the one who didn’t want a secret relationship at all, I point out. I’m all worked up now, hot and trying to think past my racing heart. He manages to push all my buttons, all the time.
King: Okay. Fine.
I stare at those words for a long time, not blinking as tears flood my eyes.
I’m so confused. I don’t know what’s caused his sudden change of heart, but I don’t have the will to fight him anymore. If it’s over, just like that, for nothing, maybe it should be over.
My life will certainly be a lot less stressful.
It’s a small consolation with the gnawing emptiness starting to eat away at me from the inside.
I want to be mad at King for blowing me off, or mad at Jack for being so overbearing that we had to sneak around in the first place, but in the end, I’m just mad at myself.
I sat on the fence too long. I let fear hold me back, and now it’s too late. Being sure about how I feel is worthless when King’s given up.
I should’ve told him I love him. Now it doesn’t matter.
Nothing does.
Chapter 18
Piper
Wine hangovers are the worst.
I have to stumble through empty bottles to get to my bathroom, dreading what I’ll find in the mirror.
It’s not a pretty picture.
It’s going to take a lot of work to make me presentable for the world. And I have to do it. I can’t spend another minute feeling sorry for myself or wallowing. The longer I let it go on, the harder it’ll be to pull out of it. I need to nip it in the bud while I still can.
A hot shower goes a long way toward making me feel more human. I’m able to wash off the past couple of days, scrubbing until my skin is red under the steamy jets of water. The invigorating citrus scent of my face scrub helps wake me up a little more, and by the time I have a cup of coffee in me, I’m almost feeling like myself again.
On my way in, I stop to buy a few gift cards and pastries for the breakroom from one of the local favorites. It’s the least I can do to show my appreciation for the people who’ve been covering my ass with all my recent absences. I’ll talk to Jack about bonuses at a later date. For now, the gift cards will have to be enough.
I’m surprised to see Ellie in the breakroom when I show up to drop everything off.
“Ooh, are those from that place that does the really wild flavored donuts?” she asks, coming up behind me while I clear a spot on the counter for the boxes.
“Yep. I’m not sure what we have, though. I told them to surprise me.”
“I thought you hated surprises,” she teases.
“I’m not actually planning on eating any of these. The surprise doesn’t really matter to me. I didn’t expect you to be here today,” I add, flipping things around on her.
Ellie shrugs, peering into one of the boxes.
“We were at the hospital for a while yesterday. They’ve moved Asher to the main floor so he can have a few people visit at a time. We hung out with him while Lake went home and checked on the shelter. She managed to shower and get some food, but she didn’t want to be gone too long. Poor thing,” she adds, shaking her head. “I know Jack and I aren’t married yet, but I still can’t imagine how wrecked I’d be…”
“Yet?” I ask, lifting my brows.
Her eyes go wide, and she presses her lips together, looking like she wishes she could take it back.
“I mean, you know… We’re just not, not that there’s any plans for that changing or—”
“Uh huh,” I muse, nodding along sympathetically. “Totally believab
le recovery.”
Her ears turn bright red, and she’s looking very intently at a donut with rainbow sprinkles and what I think are Fruity Pebbles?
She gives me a pleading look. “There’s really nothing planned or anything. We’ve just kind of talked about how it might be nice. One day. In the future.”
“Uh huh,” I agree, grinning now. It feels good to have the focus away from me, to be able to tease her and be happy for her. Her and Jack. As much as my brother drives me insane, I love him to death. That’s why I’ve been so worried about ruining his friendship with King. I want him to be happy. I’m glad he’s found someone he’s considering sharing his life with, but I know his friends are the most important thing to him. Any drama between him and King would be devastating not just for them, but the whole friend group.
“Just remember to invite me if you two suddenly decide to elope,” I tease.
“Maybe,” she singsongs, a tease in her voice too. “If you actually decide to tell me what’s going on with you and King.”
Ice runs through my veins. The fun, teasing atmosphere is gone, replaced by panic and shame.
“What?” I croak.
Ellie looks around, verifying we’re not being spied on.
“Jack’s been convinced for a while that you two are up to something behind his back. I've told him for the longest time that he’s being paranoid, and you were being secretive for other reasons, but…” She looks around again, then leans in anyway. “People are talking. About a kiss? In the theater? I don’t know how long it’ll take for him to get word of it, but it’s already eating him up inside that he thinks you’re both lying to him. If he hears it from someone else…”
Everything comes crashing down on me at once. I have nothing to say for myself. No defense. No excuse to offer her.
When I kissed King in front of everyone, I was expecting us to be together. I thought we would be telling Jack about us—together. That’s all gone out the window now, but the rumor mill doesn’t know that.
Ellie’s right. It’ll only be a matter of time before Jack hears about my affair with King Dorsey, and if he hears it from anyone other than me, he’s going to go nuclear.
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