"That's very sweet of you." She said it in the same earnest tone of voice she would have used to thank Jennifer for offering to share a used wad of chewing gum. "But if you're talking again about offering me money-"
Austin shook his head. "Oh, no. I'm asking you to marry me."
CHAPTER NINE
PAIGE felt as if the restaurant had suddenly turned into a carnival ride; the floor not only tipped from side to side but it went up and down, and the table revolved like a merry-go-round. She had to keep her eyes closed for a full minute before things began to stay in their proper places once more.
When she finally found her voice, it was faint and almost squeaky. "Would you mind running that past me again, Austin?"
"You heard me, Paige. I asked if you'll marry me."
He sounded almost impatient, she thought, as if her reaction was throwing off his schedule. As if he'd set aside just enough time for question and answer, with nothing left over for discussion.
Paige sipped her wine. "I don't suppose you'd like to explain why on earth you think it would be a good idea."
Austin frowned. "I thought it would be obvious."
"Maybe you could hit the high spots," she suggested hopefully. "Just so we're both clear on what kind of a deal we're talking about. I mean, you wouldn't want me to get the crazy idea that you've fallen madly in love with me within the last few days. Would you?"
"That would be a little uncomfortable," Austin agreed, "since I haven't done anything of the sort."
"That's what I thought. So why do you want to-" She hoped he'd miss the tiny quaver in her voice. "-marry me?"
He raised one hand to his collar as if it suddenly felt too tight, then seemed to catch himself and fiddled with his tie instead.
Interesting body language, Paige thought, for a guy who every day played corporate poker with millions on the table. A guy who seemed to think he was negotiating just another business deal.
"All the usual reasons," Austin said. "In my position there are times that being married-"
"You've done just fine as a single man up till now."
"Tanner Electronics is different from anywhere else I've ever worked."
"That's true," Paige said judiciously. "There is no doubt whatsoever that all the bimbos whose hearts will be shattered when Caleb finally says ‘I do' will soon be looking for other game, and their collective eye will certainly light on you. In fact, since you're something of a mystery man, they might find you even more intriguing."
"Paige, if I wanted a bodyguard I'd hire one."
"Exactly," she murmured. She felt almost as if she was an onlooker, disconnected from her body and watching from a distance, through a sort of numbing haze.
"What I mean is, this job is different. Every other position I've held has been a stepping stone, a rung on the ladder."
"And the job at Tanner is the top of the heap? Caleb will be tickled pink to hear your opinion of his company."
His mouth tightened. "I didn't say that, exactly. But my attitude toward work has changed. I stepped back and took a good look at my life, and I came to the conclusion that there are other ways to better myself than to keep climbing the corporate mountain. I don't want to keep on moving every year or two, and starting all over. Now that Jennifer's in school-"
"I wondered," Paige murmured, "when we'd get to Jennifer."
Austin didn't seem to hear. "I want her to be able to put down roots, to make friends she'll keep forever, to live in a house she'll always remember."
"Don't forget the cat," Paige recommended.
"And take in stray cats, if she feels like it. I intend to stay in Denver, Paige. I want to build a life here."
"So of course a wife would be a handy accessory, in both the business and the personal arenas. I understand all that, Austin. But in fact, I didn't ask why you wanted to get married. I asked why your fancy landed on me."
For a long moment she thought he wasn't going to answer. Then he sighed. "All right, if you insist. It's a matter of fairness, as much as anything. We talked about it a few days ago, you know-how deeply indebted I am to you. Your hard work and sacrifice during the time we were married is a significant part of the reason that I'm where I am, and it's not very fair that you shouldn't benefit from my success. So of course when I started considering marriage, I thought of you."
Paige wondered half hysterically if he had any idea of how pompous he sounded. All this talk of fairness and indebtedness-but not a hint of caring, much less of love.
Not that she'd expected it. In fact, she admitted, if he had said anything of the sort she wouldn't have believed it. But he could have gone through the motions. He could at least have tried to scrape up some fondness, some affectionate memories...something which would serve as a foundation for another try at marriage. Anything besides a debt.
"So because a few days ago I wouldn't let you give me money," she mused, "you're now proposing marriage. That doesn't make a great deal of sense."
"It wasn't cause-and-effect, Paige, but that discussion started me thinking about you. About doing what's right. You're struggling financially, that's obvious." He reached across the table once more.
Paige moved her hand out of range. How dare he patronize her? Doing what's right...as if she was no more than a child who needed to be looked after and provided for! "I'm so glad you mentioned that," she said grimly, "because I hadn't happened to notice it myself. I think I'm doing just fine."
"Not compared to what I can offer you. What if the roof needs replacing? What if your van breaks down and you have to buy a new one?"
"It's so generous of you to have only my best interests at heart," Paige murmured. "Obviously you've considered my house and my van. What about my mother? I'm sure you've taken her into account and decided what to do with her."
"If you don't think she's able to take care of herself, we'll look for a house with a self-contained suite."
"You'd actually share a roof with the dragon on wheels? You have come a long way, haven't you, Austin?" Her tone was almost admiring. "Or are you so certain she'd refuse that you feel safe in making the offer?" She didn't give him a chance to respond, but there was no mistaking the fact that he'd turned ever-so-slightly red.
She twirled her wineglass and said thoughtfully, "Of course, this proposal doesn't have anything to do with the nanny shortage." She stole a look at him through lowered eyelashes. "Does it?"
"There isn't any lack of nannies," Austin said flatly. “I'm not proposing to you because I want a live-in babysitter."
She clasped her hands over her heart in a theatrical gesture. "No? What an honor you've paid me! To know that you prefer me to ordinary hired help-"
"Dammit, Paige, this has nothing to do with nannies! All right, so Jennifer likes you. I should think that would be anything but a deterrent."
"In fact, a ready-made family should be a great enticement, is that what you're saying?" She sighed. "Look, Austin, I'm very flattered." Even though she tried, she couldn't keep the edge of sarcasm out of her voice. "In fact, you cannot possibly understand the depth of my emotions on this occasion. So let's just say-"
"Wait a minute, Paige. Before you throw this opportunity away, at least stop to consider what you're giving up. Security, for one. Your business is going to go down the drain, and-"
The absolute certainty in his voice terrified Paige. "Are you threatening Rent-A-Wife?" she demanded.
"Marry me or I'll ruin your business? I don't have either time or inclination for such childish nonsense. It's a simple fact, and you'd know it, too, if you stopped long enough to take an honest look at your business."
"On what evidence are you basing that grandstand statement?"
"Sabrina and Cassie have other priorities now. They're already working fewer hours. So far, you've been taking up the slack, but you're not going to be able to keep up alone. Clients will be unhappy at not getting what they need when they want it. You'll be stressed past your limits." He shrugged. "It's obvious."
As a matter of fact, he was right. Paige had seen that very trend herself-it was why she'd started to take seriously the idea of bringing in another partner-but she was damned if she'd admit it to Austin. "Oh, if that's all... I came up with the idea originally, and I ran the business by myself for a few months before the others joined. I can do it again. I'll pare the client list-"
"And work yourself to the bone and barely make ends meet. All that isn't necessary, Paige. There's an alternative to running Rent-A-Wife."
"Yeah. All I have to do is let you rent me full-time."
He gritted his teeth; she actually heard them grind. "That's not the kind of arrangement I'm suggesting, Paige."
"How silly of me," she said on a note of discovery. "You mean I'd have additional duties. Bed-warmer, for starters."
"There's no need to be crude."
"I'm not, just factual. I don't think you can tell me with a straight face that you're proposing some kind of platonic relationship. Are you?"
"No," he said slowly.
"Then 'bed-warmer' is part of the job description."
His voice was as rich as warm fudge. "Would it be such a horrible thing, Paige? You can't deny you always enjoyed yourself in our bed."
She didn't know if the shivers which ran up her spine were delicious memories of how very much she'd enjoyed herself, or distaste at the idea of sleeping with a man who considered her nothing more than a convenience. "That," she said crisply, "was when I thought I loved you."
"Love." He dismissed it with a gesture. "We were foolish enough to think all that nonsense would last forever. It didn't-and so what? You can't deny there's still an attraction. If there wasn't, you wouldn't look terrified every time I come near you. You're the one who mentioned making an alliance-''
"Oh, no," Paige said hastily. "Don't even try to blame this crazy idea on me. The answer is no. Absolutely, unequivocally no. And I don't want to hear another word on the subject."
She picked up her fork and jabbed it into the salmon mousse. Too bad, she thought, that it wasn't Austin's heart lying on her plate, because she'd positively enjoy carving it to ribbons. Of course, that was assuming he had a heart, and she wouldn't bet any money on the possibility.
He'd certainly blown that one, Austin told himself gloomily.
But what other approach could he have taken? He'd been convinced Paige was the kind of woman who wouldn't duck from reality. The sort who would appreciate honesty.
Apparently he'd been wrong.
But even to feed her ego, he couldn't have forced himself to drop to one knee and make protestations of a love that didn't in fact exist. He wasn't a hypocrite, and it wouldn't have been respectful to act out what he didn't feel. Surely she understood that much.
Love...what the hell was it, anyway?
Now if they'd been discussing desire, he reflected, that would have been another thing entirely. He could have gone into vivid detail about how much he wanted to make love to her. He could have painted a couple of dozen erotic scenarios without even beginning to stretch the truth....
That was odd. He hadn't realized till just this moment that every aspect of those scenes was already quite clear in his mind. Since when had he been fantasizing about Paige McDermott?
Though, on further consideration, he didn't know why he should be surprised. Once, he had known her body as intimately as his own. A man didn't forget things like that, even if he tucked the knowledge into the farthest, darkest corner of his mind for a while. As soon as she'd come back into his life, though, the memories had crept out of hiding. They'd oozed around the protective wall he'd built to confine them, and squirmed like tentacles into his unguarded thoughts, building themselves into fantasies...
Memories of Paige...who could be innocent and erotic, naive and seductive-sometimes all at the same moment.
Paige...who had looked at him as though he'd lost his mind, simply because he'd proposed to her.
What was the matter with the woman, anyway?
When their main course arrived, Paige pushed bits of her filet mignon around her plate, making trails in the béarnaise sauce, till the meat was cold and the sauce congealed. The conversation limped from one unimportant topic to the next, and she was relieved when finally the waiter cleared the table and asked if they'd like coffee and a look at the dessert tray.
Paige was just opening her mouth to say a firm no when Austin pushed back his chair and stood up. Silent though it was, the action made his opinion pretty clear, she thought. In rude but definite terms, he was announcing that dinner was over.
Paige gave the waiter an apologetic little smile. Actually, she couldn't quite decide whether to be annoyed that Austin was so obviously afraid she wanted to prolong the evening, or irritated that he'd been rude to the waiter, or pleased that at last she could escape...
Then she glanced over her shoulder to see what Austin was looking at and realized that she'd missed the mark on all counts. He hadn't been responding to the waiter's question at all; he'd stood up to greet the two people who were approaching the table from the main section of the restaurant, directly behind Paige.
"Sabrina," he said. "Caleb. It's a pleasure."
For a split second, Paige considered reaching for the flickering candle at the center of the table and setting her own dress on fire. Self-immolation seemed a small price to pay for having the paramedics rescue her. But sanity quickly returned. She'd only end up in a hospital bed where she would stand no chance of dodging Sabrina's questions. And at least with Austin standing right there, Sabrina would have to control her curiosity.
"I'd invite you to join us for dessert," Austin was saying, "except-"
"Except for the inconvenient fact that it's a table for two," Sabrina murmured, "which is precisely why it's always been Caleb's favorite. In any case, we came to invite you to join us for dessert."
Paige bit her tongue just in time to stop herself from saying that she really didn't want to do anything of the sort and forced a smile instead. Austin flicked a glance at her and then agreed, sounding perfectly calm, that dessert would be very nice indeed.
"Come along then," Sabrina said, and linked her arm in Paige's.
Paige tossed a pleading glance over her shoulder, but Austin had turned away to deal with the bill.
Sabrina didn't stop till they reached the cloakroom in the elevator lobby.
"I thought you said something about dessert," Paige protested. "Or was that just a tactful way to get us away from the table? I've got it, the tower's on fire and only a few people can be saved, so you wanted to remove us from the room to be rescued without causing panic among the ones who'll be left behind."
"Not a bad plot twist," Sabrina said. "But you can stop babbling anytime. And as for dessert, you know perfectly well you don't care about it anymore than I do."
"Well, no," Paige admitted. "But-"
"So what the hell are you doing with Austin Weaver?"
Caleb spoke from just behind Sabrina. "Having dinner, darling. The rest is none of your business."
Paige had always liked the playboy entrepreneur, even when she'd thought he was an irresponsible scamp who was toying with Sabrina's heart because he had nothing better to do. But she'd never liked him quite so well as she did right then.
Caleb grinned at her. "Anyway, we're taking one of Pierre's cakes home with us."
"It's not a cake, Caleb, it's a white chocolate and raspberry torte." Sabrina handed over a ticket and reclaimed a fur- trimmed wrap. "Aren't you going to get your coat, Paige?"
"Home?" Paige said faintly. Caleb's rescue attempt had been short-lived. So much for her hopes of making a quick escape before Sabrina could get her in a choke hold.
Sabrina's voice was airy. "Oh, didn't I mention that?" She turned to Austin, who had just come up to them, one hand still sliding a slim wallet into his breast pocket. "You don't need directions to the house, do you? It's a different route than you've come before, so if you'd like to just follow us-"
The
parking valets brought Austin's Jaguar and Sabrina's vintage convertible to the front of the building; Sabrina dangled her keys invitingly and said, "Want to ride with me, Paige, so the men can talk shop? They will, anyway, but maybe if we put them in the same car, they'll get it over with sooner."
"I-" Paige caught at the first excuse she could think of. "It'll be hard to keep two cars together, in this traffic. I'd better ride with Austin so I can point out the turns."
"I think Caleb could manage to find his way home," Sabrina said dryly. But she didn't push the matter, and a moment later the little convertible sped off into the night.
Paige sank as far as possible into the passenger seat of the Jaguar and rubbed her aching temples. “Did you have to accept the invitation?"
"Surely you're not seriously suggesting there was an alternative. Besides, you seemed to approve-smiling like that."
She sat up. "What was I supposed to do? Send you a telegram?"
"I suppose I could have told them we were having a very serious conversation about marriage-''
"We were not."
"Are you saying it wasn't serious or that it wasn't about marriage? Because I assure you-"
"We weren't talking at all," Paige pointed out. "Which, come to think of it, isn't a bad idea." She turned her back to him and stared unseeing out the window. Blocks went by in a blur.
"Look," Austin said, "I'm sorry. Obviously I didn't handle that discussion very well."
Paige looked over her shoulder. "Noticed that, did you?" she asked admiringly. "I bet you'd figure it out right away if an elephant landed in your eye, too!"
"There isn't any need to be sarcastic about it." His voice was so quiet she had to strain to hear him.
Paige bit her lip. She felt like a scolded child, even though it had been a gentler reproof than she deserved. "No," she said quietly. "There isn't. You made an offer, I refused it, and that's the end of it."
It had been the only possible end. She had given the only possible answer. So there was no reason, Paige told herself, for the sneaking suspicion that it wasn't over, after all.
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