by E. L. Todd
She was shorter than the women I usually dated, almost a foot shorter. Even in heels she was petite. But I loved her form and her size. She was perfect enough to sleep right on my chest.
Throughout the whole night I only said a few words to her. There wasn’t even enough exchange to make a general opinion about her. I really didn’t know her and I certainly didn’t understand her.
But I was obsessed.
Florence was a nice woman and she was pretty. She was forward and confident, something I found innately attractive. If Rose hadn’t been there at all, Florence and I probably would have hit it off.
But Rose was there.
Florence couldn’t keep my attention for more than a few seconds at any given point in time. I didn’t think about kissing her or feeling her body with my bare hands. If I invited her to my place at the end of the night she probably would have came along.
But I didn’t want that.
I was sitting in my office when Will called me.
“Hey, what’s up?” I put my feet on the desk and looked out the floor-to-ceiling windows.
“How’d it go with Florence?”
“What do you mean? You were there.”
“Did you take her back to your place?”
“No.” I couldn’t sleep with someone while thinking of someone else.
“Really? It seemed like she was into you.”
“Well, I wasn’t into her.” Why did Will have to get Rose? Why did he have to get the one woman I was unbelievably attracted to? I’d never stopped in my tracks because of a woman in my life. She floored me with just her presence. But then Will got her.
“Really?” he asked. “Florence is pretty cute.”
“Then why don’t you go out with her?” I was letting my jealousy get the best of me but I couldn’t help it.
“She’s my friend. It would be weird.”
I suspected Rose didn’t even like him. It sure didn’t seem like it.
“That’s too bad,” he said. “Rose said she wanted to go on another double date.”
That had my attention. “Yeah?”
“I wanted it just to be she and I but she insisted on the two of you coming along.”
It sounded like she didn’t want to be alone with Will. Or she wanted to see me again.
“But if you don’t like Florence we’ll just have to make do without.”
“Whoa, hold on.” I wasn’t going to pass up an excuse to see Rose. I was already stuck with Florence and I couldn’t just ditch her for her friend, but I couldn’t help myself. Just being in her presence gave me a high I couldn’t describe. “Florence and I will be there.”
“I thought you said you didn’t like her?”
“I’ll give her another chance.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Absolutely.” Even if I didn’t get to talk to Rose directly I wanted to be in her presence. To feel that rush, that high, was something I longed for. Maybe our first interaction was purely physical infatuation. Maybe if I saw her again it would disappear.
***
I got there nearly thirty minutes early just in case Rose showed up before the others. I wanted an opportunity to speak to her without the other two around. When the four of us were at the dinner table I was forced to focus on Florence. But if the situation was different, I could focus on something else.
To my luck, Rose arrived fifteen minutes early. She wore denim shorts with a pink top. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, revealing all the beautiful curves of her face. Her eyes stood out the most, hypnotizing and alluring.
She spotted me standing outside, and she halted in her tracks. She watched me for a few seconds before she approached me, her eyes glued to my face. A loose strand of hair fell from her ponytail and trailed down the side of her cheek.
My hands were in my pockets, giving the impression that I was calm and collected. After our first encounter I suspected the second one to be more subdued. My heart would beat calmly and my body would remain relaxed.
But that’s not what happened.
Just like last time my heart ached in pain. My muscles tensed uncomfortably and my breathing became irregular. My physiological response to her was unusual, something I’ve never experienced before. I was both nervous and eager at the same time.
Rose gripped her clutch with one hand, the same one she had last time we went out together. Instead of looking down at the ground or avoiding my look she stared at me straight on.
“Hi.” It took more energy than normal to get that word out. I was even a little breathless.
“Hey.” She took a deep breath once she finished.
Now I didn’t know what else to do. It wasn’t like me to be tongue-tied. Actually, I couldn’t shut up most of the time. This woman left me speechless. “How are you?”
“Good. You?”
“Great. Except the fact I’m missing the Warrior game right now.”
For the first time, she smiled. “I know. I was bummed too.”
“I’m recording it so don’t tell me the score.”
“I’m recording it too. I wanted to see every play and every shot.”
Now that we were in a conversation my body relaxed slightly. “What else do you like?”
“Hockey.”
“Pretty violent sport.”
She shrugged. “I guess I like the fact they don’t have as many rules. It can be ruthless and terrifying, but that’s what makes it so unique.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Do you like anything else?”
“Everything. Mainly baseball and football.”
She shook her head. “I don’t care too much for those.”
I kept my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t fidget in place. She made me nervous but I didn’t want her to know what kind of effect she had on me. “Did you work today?”
“Yeah.”
“Where do you work?”
“I’m a freelancer,” she answered. “I work whenever I’m hired. I have a small office here in Manhattan but I get outsourced to do other jobs in different places.”
“Very cool. So, you’re your own boss.”
“Essentially.”
She and I were the same in that regard. “Do you like it?”
“I love it,” she said. “There’s nothing like making someone’s dream home. Or making a design that will survive hundreds of years after I’m gone. It’s an amazing feeling.”
“I can imagine.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her clutch held tightly against her side. It was the first time she turned away, her eyes glued to the road.
“You like Will?” I suspected I already knew the answer but I asked anyway.
“He’s nice…”
My body wanted to close the gap between us and press my mouth to hers. My body was obsessed with hers to the point of insanity. And I didn’t just want her physically. I wanted to know everything underneath.
“You like Florence?”
I shrugged. “She’s nice…”
She nodded and still refused to meet my gaze.
“Dating isn’t really your thing?” I hated myself for asking a personal question I had no right asking. It just came out all on its own. I would never say something like that to any other stranger. For whatever reason, I thought it was okay to say it to her.
“No. Not really.” She looked at me again, her eyes bright and beautiful.
“Then why are you doing it?”
She shrugged. “It’ll make Florence happy. I have to try—for her.”
I wanted to know more. Actually, I want to know everything. “Did you just get out of a relationship?”
Before she could answer she spotted Florence and Will over my shoulder. “They’re here.”
I still wanted that answer.
“Hey.” Florence moved into my chest and hugged me. Before I knew what was going on she kissed me on the lips. “I’m so excited to see you.”
She caught me off gua
rd and gave me the kind of affection I didn’t even want, but the damage was already done. “Hey.” I took a step back before she kissed me again. “Hungry?”
“Very.”
Will was immediately at her side. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”
“Me too,” Rose said quietly.
We went inside and took our seats near the window. Just like last time it was awkward. Rose tried to hide behind her menu and Florence was feeling me up under the table. If her hand could reach all the way across she’d probably be giving me a hand job right then and there.
***
By the end of the night Florence was all over me. “You should come to my place. I have a nice view of the park.”
“Uh, maybe.” I didn’t want to sleep with her, not when I was interested in Rose.
“Or maybe we can go to yours…” Her leg had practically rubbed my jeans off.
I knew I got myself into a deep hole. I’d led her on and now she wanted me—naked. It was stupid for me to agree to this date just to see Rose. I suspected this would blow up in my face very soon.
Will and I split the bill then left our table, the girls by our sides. Florence hooked her arm through mine and pressed her body against me. She whispered something in my ear. “You’re mine tonight.”
Shit.
We walked outside then congregated off to the side away from the foot traffic. Rose still kept to herself, not showing Will any affection. She clung to her clutch like it was a lifeboat.
“Let’s head to my place.” Florence had become even more forward after a few drinks. I was attracted to confident women who knew exactly what they wanted, but it was a turn off when they were drunk—and bossy.
“Can I walk you home?” Will asked the same question as last time, and he would get the same answer.
“It’s okay.” Rose extended her hand to shake his. “I had a great time.”
He eyed her hand in disappointment. He hadn’t touched her once, besides her hand. “Me too…” I shook it with a grimace.
“Well, good night.” Rose walked away without saying goodbye to me. She fled the scene like she couldn’t get away fast enough. All she wanted was to please her friend, and now that she was done she was on her way.
Florence didn’t seem to notice because of all of her attention was on me. “Come on. Let’s go.” She yanked my arm aggressively.
Now I was getting tired of being dragged around like a dog. “Enough of that.” I pulled out of her grasp and put my hands in my pockets. “Where is your apartment?”
She smiled because she thought she was getting her way. “This way.”
***
I walked her to her door because she wouldn’t have made it there on her own.
She dropped her keys a few times before she got the door opened. “The highlight of the night…” She walked inside and immediately kicked her heels off.
I stayed on the other side of the door. “Good night, Florence.”
“What?” Her eyes were squinted in her drunken stupor, and her body was tense in hostility.
“Florence, this isn’t going to work out. But I wanted to walk you home to make sure you got here safely.”
“You aren’t coming inside?”
I shook my head.
“Why the hell not?” She put both hands on her hips, glaring at me violently.
“It’s not you,” I said calmly. “You’re a very attractive woman—”
“Obviously.”
But not very humble. “But I’m just feeling it. I wish you the best of luck.”
“Are you gay or something?” she snapped.
I let the insult wash over me. She was drunk and not running at full capacity. “Definitely not.” I turned away and headed down the hall. “Good night, Florence.”
“Good night, asshole.”
Investigation
Kyle
“Carol, could you come in here for a moment?” I just finished doing a search of every architect company in the city but didn’t find any leads, not even with her name affiliated with it. Who knew so many architect companies existed at all.
Carol walked inside with her notepad and pen at the ready. “Yes, Kyle?”
“I need help with something.”
“Of course. What can I do for you?” She took a seat and crossed her legs.
“I need help finding a girl.”
“A girl…?”
I understood how strange my request sounded. I could ask Will for her number but that would probably piss him off. And I certainly couldn’t go to Florence with my questions. After the way our relationship ended she wouldn’t help me with a damn thing. “I met her a week ago. She runs an architect company and her name is Rose. I tried tracking her down myself but with no luck. Maybe you’ll have better success.”
“Do you have any other information?”
“No.”
“Is this company in Manhattan?”
“Yes. That I do know.”
She left the chair and closed her notepad. “I’ll do my best. But I’m not a PI so don’t expect anything.”
“Whatever you can manage is appreciated.”
***
Mark walked into the office, looking lower than I’ve ever seen him. He fell into the chair and leaned forward, gripping his skull in anguish. While he was silent for the time being, he was about to explode.
I knew he lost his case.
“Mark, you can’t win them all.” I took the seat beside him and tried to console him as much as possible.
“But I should have won this one.”
I patted him on the back. “You did the best you could, man. There was nothing else you could have done.”
“Tell that to her parents. Tell that to her sister.” He refused to meet my gaze, his cheeks turning red with rage. “The judge threw out that evidence when she shouldn’t have. It was totally unfair. What the hell is wrong with our legal system?”
What the hell was wrong with our world, actually? “Mark, you have to let it go.”
“I don’t think I can…”
“It’s impossible to win every case. Sometimes the defendant has more ammo in his arsenal. Sometimes you get a bad judge. Sometimes the jury is the one at fault. Cut yourself some slack.”
He left the chair, getting away from my affection. “She was raped and murdered.” He rested his fist against his lips, his eyes closed from the rage. “And the fucker got away. You expect me to cut myself some slack?” He turned to me, his eyes red and bloodshot. “What if that were your sister? Your girlfriend?”
I’d already been through that once—and it was the worst experience of my life. “You can’t win them all.” I felt like a parrot repeating myself, but it was the only thing that came to mind. It was easy to lose sleep over our cases. It was easy to lose ourselves too. But we had to stay sane, to remember there was only so much we could do in any given situation. “Maybe you should take the rest of the week off—with pay.”
“That’s not going to solve my problem.”
I slowly approached him, not wanting to push him even further. “Take some time to clear your head. Go to the beach. Take a trip. Just take some time for yourself. This business can be daunting. It’s best to pace ourselves.”
He stared at the ground, his eyes lifeless.
I knew exactly how he felt but I could never tell him that. Some people in the office knew what happened all those years ago, but a lot of them didn’t. I liked to keep my private life to myself as possible. Otherwise old wounds would fester and become infected all over again.
He finally nodded. “I think I should.”
I clapped him on the shoulder again. “Great. I think that will be best.”
***
A few days later I got a lead.
“Kyle, I have a name and an address.” Carol placed the note on my desk. “I’m pretty sure this is the girl you’re looking for. It’s just a few blocks away.”
I snatched it from the surface.
>
INDIGO DESIGNS.
“You’re sure?”
“From what the leasing information I pulled up, it said a woman named Rose was the tenant. That was the best I could do.”
I shoved the note into my pocket, feeling my lips automatically form a smile. “Thank you.”
***
Her office was a tiny little place above a Chinese food restaurant. It had to be four hundred square feet at the most. And with a location like that, I suspected she didn’t pick up a lot of foot traffic.
So why have an office at all?
I made it to the second floor then walked past the windows. They were tinted so I couldn’t see anything inside. Just before I walked inside I stopped because I panicked. Now that I was here I didn’t know what to say. Did I just ask her out? Did I act like I needed work? What should I do?
If she was looking at me through the window I must look strange.
I straightened my shoulders and walked inside with confidence. Rose was shy and withdrawn but every woman responded to a man who knew what he wanted. The bell rang overhead the moment I walked inside, and then I came face-to-face with her.
She was sitting at her small desk with an iPad on the surface. Judging the surprise on her face she didn’t get very many customers. I was probably the only person to walk inside that day—or maybe even that week.
Rose’s eyes narrowed slightly when she recognized me. She didn’t move from her desk, remaining absolutely still. Even her breathing didn’t change.
I stepped further inside and felt the nerves get to me. She was staring at me intently, unsure why I was there and what I wanted. That confidence I felt a moment ago was dissipating. Like she was the sun, my confidence evaporated from my skin. “Hi. I hope this isn’t a bad time.”
“No. I’m just surprised to see you.”
I was surprised too. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by.”
“How did you know I worked here?”
“You told me.”
“No, I didn’t.” Her clipped tone suddenly turned hostile.
Maybe this was a bad idea. “Well, I looked it up online. It was pretty easy to find.”
That same threat was still on her face.
Did I just screw this up? “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to offend you. I didn’t see the harm in coming here. If you want me to leave, I’ll go.” She never behaved this way in our previous interactions, but now she was a wild animal cornered against the wall. Frightened and uncomfortable, she was about to lash out. I took a step back toward the door so she knew I meant it.