by E. L. Todd
“Uh, not really,” he said. “I want something big enough for a family of four.”
“Why four?”
“My wife and two kids. They’ll be living with me. Well…at least I hope they will.” He chuckled while he watched me, seeing every expression I made. “Maybe a pool and a deck. But nothing too fancy.”
I walked up and down the sand and tried to picture what I might design for him. He seemed like a man with simple tastes and pleasures. He would be easy to please unlike some of the diva clients I had.
When I moved across the sand he watched me the entire time, keeping his gaze on me no matter where I went. I pulled out my notebook and made a few notes, taking down measurements and ground structure. It took me nearly thirty minutes to complete, wanting to gather as much information as possible while I was there. When I was finished the sun was beginning to set.
“Pooped out?” Kyle asked.
“Something like that.” I tucked my pen between the pages and closed the notebook. “I have a few ideas you might like.”
“Perfect.”
***
He pulled into the gate of his beach house and parked in the roundabout in front of the house. It was the average size of a home, but beautiful in its design. It had a distinct beach feel to it, something I noticed in his personality as well.
“Home sweet home.” Kyle grabbed my suitcase then walked into the house. “I hope you like it.”
Like it was possible for me to dislike it. “It’s beautiful.”
He set the suitcase near the door then turned on all the lights. “The housecleaners come every two weeks even if I don’t make a visit. So you don’t have to worry about my cooties.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me before he headed into the kitchen.
“What a relief.” His furniture was white and gray, matching the color of the sand outside. The hardwood floors were dark, and the fireplace in the corner seemed perfect to combat the nighttime chill.
“What do you want for dinner?”
He was staying for dinner? I walked into the kitchen and saw him standing at the fridge.
“I had the housecleaners take care of the grocery shopping. We’ve got the basic necessities along with a few other things. How about steak kabobs? I’m pretty good on the grill.”
I didn’t want to kick him out of his own home but I didn’t expect to spend any alone time with him. “Uh, sure.” We’d been alone together all day and everything was fine. I could handle this.
“Great.” He pulled everything out and began to prep. He cleaned the vegetables then slid them onto the skewers along with chunks of meat.
“Do you need any help?”
“Nope. You’re my guest.” He grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge. “Is white okay?”
“Sure.”
He poured two glasses then carried the kabobs outside where the grill sat. It was located on the deck where the rest of the patio was.
I followed him outside and noticed how bright the ocean looked. The sun was sitting on the opposite side of the house, and it was bringing life to the waves. They crashed in the distance, sounding musical on my ears. “I’m surprised you don’t live here and commute to work.”
“Commuting is such a bitch.” He got the grill going and laid the kabobs on the racks. “I tried it a few years ago and it just didn’t work. Besides, I love living in the city. It’s easy to get Chinese food at two in the morning.”
“Do you eat Chinese food at two in the morning often?” I sat in the chair with the glass of wine in my hand.
“Sometimes,” he said. “Not often.” He turned the kabobs over and watched them cook. Then he closed the lid to keep the heat contained. With one hand resting on the handle of the grill, he watched me.
Whenever he looked at me that way I grew uncomfortable. The stare wasn’t hostile but it still set me on edge. I could feel something develop deep inside my stomach. It gravitated toward the rest of my body, making me feel scorching hot and freezing cold at the same time. The look he gave me was unlike any other I’d received before. A part of me liked it—but that’s what scared me the most.
Kyle opened the grill again and turned the kabobs. “How’s Florence?”
“Uh…she’s good.” After everything she said about him, she was anything but good.
“Really?” he asked. “I was wondering if she still hated me.”
I guess she told him to his face. “She’s not your biggest fan.”
He shrugged. “I was honest with her. I didn’t see it going anywhere.”
Florence was a good friend of mine, but I knew she had some emotional issues. She was too clingy with men she only started dating, and she thought with her heart more than mind most of the time. “Don’t let her bother you. She gets upset anytime something doesn’t go her way.”
“Phew,” he said. “I was afraid you hated me too.”
“I don’t know you well enough to hate you.” And from what I did know, there wasn’t a bad bone in his body.
“Well, she was all over me. She wanted to go to bed but I wasn’t feeling it. So, I told her the truth and walked her to her door.” He shrugged. “I thought I was being a gentleman.”
“I think she’s just upset because she was really into you.”
“Even so…I don’t deserve to be called an asshole.”
I was mortified. “Again, I’d try to forget about it if I were you.”
“At least you’re on my side.”
“I never said I was on your side,” I said with a laugh. “I’m just telling you what I know about her.”
“No, you’re on my side. I can tell.” He pulled the kabobs off the grill and killed the gas. “These look delicious. They’ll go great with the wine.” He set the small table on the patio and we began to eat.
I sat directly across from him and cut into my food. The waves crashed in the distance and washed away all the stress I felt earlier in the day. It was difficult to care about anyone or anything when you were in a peaceful place.
Kyle watched me from across the table. “What do you think?”
“It’s delicious.”
“Thanks. I’m not the best cook but I can grill.”
“The peppers are cooked but still a little crunchy. That’s how I like them. And the meat is well done but still juicy.”
“Can you cook?”
“I cook all the time.” I stirred my glass of wine before I took a sip. “I prefer eating at home than eating out anyway. After a while all that heavy food gets to me.”
“I know what you mean.” He ate his plate quicker than I did then watched me finish mine. The light was fading away, and his face was beginning to disappear in shadow. But I could still see the outline of his cheeks and his lips. Like orbs, his eyes glowed. They were blue like the ocean, giving me that same relaxed feeling.
When I was finished I sipped my wine and tried to ignore the intense look he was giving me. When we first met he did the same thing. He stared me down openly, piercing me so hard he could see into my soul. Without thinking, I drifted over to him and assumed he was the blind date I’d been set up with. Something about his presence comforted me, made me feel at ease. The kind of feeling was rare for me so I just went with it.
And even now I still felt it.
I didn’t know what it was or why it affected me so much, but it was there nonetheless. My natural defense mechanism was to ignore it, to pretend it wasn’t happening.
Kyle seemed to be in tune with my moods, because once I felt a new level of discomfort he backed off. “I’ll clean these up.” He grabbed the dishes and carried them into the house.
When I had my personal space back I felt more at ease. Somehow, he made me comfortable and uncomfortable at the exact same time. I finished the rest of my wine before I followed him back inside.
Kyle eyed the clock on the stove. “Well, it’s getting late. I guess I should head out.” He watched my expression like he hoped I would reject.
I didn’t feel comfortable s
leeping in the same house with a stranger, even if he did seem perfectly nice. It didn’t settle with me right and I wouldn’t be able to get any moment of sleep if I knew he was there.
“Or I could stay here if you don’t mind.”
I did mind—immensely. “Uh, I think we should stick with our original plan.” He probably wanted to stay here because it was his home—it had nothing to do with me. But even a locked door wouldn’t make me feel safe.
Despite his disappointment, he nodded. “That’s fine. Do you want me to show you around?”
“No, I think I got it covered.”
“My room is the best one in the house. I recommend you sleep there.”
“Okay.”
He still remained rooted to the spot. He leaned against the counter with his arms across his chest. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him. He was the most handsome man I’d ever seen in real life. When I thought he was my date I was actually surprised by my luck. And the fact he was so sweet and thoughtful just made him more desirable. I understood Florence’s heartbreak when he ended their relationship at the second date.
But nothing would ever happen.
Kyle still didn’t move and it didn’t seem like he intended to leave anytime soon.
Now I didn’t know what to do. A part of me wanted him to stay, but a bigger part of me wanted him to leave. I couldn’t ask him to leave again, not without sounding like a bitch. It was his place after all. If I really wanted to get out of the situation I’d have to go.
But Kyle recognized my limit once again. “You’ll be fine here alone? I can show you how to use the alarm.”
“Yeah, that’d be nice.”
He guided me to the wall near the door and told me the code to arm and disarm it. “You know where to reach me if you have any trouble. There’s a car in the garage if you need to go somewhere—keys are hanging by the door.”
“Thanks.”
He opened the front door and gave me one final look. “I’ll be back in the morning. And my mom’s place is literally right down the road. I’m just two minutes away.”
“Thank you. Good night.”
His eyes were glued to my face, searching my eyes and then my lips. Seconds passed before he finally walked out. When he was gone, I locked the door and set the alarm. His absence comforted me. I was no longer alone in a house with a man I hardly knew.
But his absence also made me feel lonely.
Home
Kyle
Mom just got engaged but she couldn’t care less about her new diamond ring, her fiancée, or her trip to Italy. All she cared about was me. “So…a woman is staying at your place?”
I hadn’t even brought my bag to my old bedroom yet. “Yeah. I’ll be heading back tomorrow.”
“Who is this woman?” Mom was certain I was going to spend the rest of my life with Francesca. She really liked her, even after she left me for Hawke—the first time. But when she left the second time Mom despised her.
“I’m hiring her to design my new beach house.”
“Beach house?” she asked. “When did you decide on that?”
“At the very last second,” I said. “Honestly, it’s just an excuse to talk to her.”
“My son doesn’t need an excuse. You’re the most handsome, smartest, and sweetest bachelor in this country. If you want a girl, all you have to do is tell her.”
She was a little biased sometimes. “She’s a little more complicated than that.”
Mom rolled her eyes. “Why do you always like the complicated ones?”
I shrugged. “I wish I knew. Then I would stop.” But I really wanted this girl. I didn’t have a concrete reason, but that made me want her even more. It wasn’t just her beauty or her intelligence. It was so much more than that.
“Why is she sleeping there alone?”
I didn’t talk about my personal life with my mom, and for the most part she didn’t ask. “She didn’t feel comfortable with me being there.”
“Is she a prude or something?” she blurted.
I chuckled. “I don’t think so. But we hardly know each other. We just met a week ago.”
“For most of my girlfriends, a week is too long.”
Now we were getting into dangerous territory. “Anyway…I’ll go back in the morning.”
“Can I meet here?”
Now that would definitely scare her off. “Not this weekend. But maybe some other time.”
Mom got that look on her face, like she wasn’t happy with the way things were turning out. After Francesca, she was deeply protective of me. She stuck her nose in my business and even tried to set me up on dates with the local debutants. “Greg and Laurie’s daughter just moved back here from California. She’s a very sweet girl.”
“I’m sure she is, Mom.” I headed to the stairs so the conversation would end. “But I’ll find the right one on my own. She’s out there—somewhere.”
And I suspected she was right under my nose.
***
“How’d you sleep?” The house was exactly as it was before I left.
“Good. Your bed is very comfortable.”
“Thanks.” I wish I could have been sleeping in it last night—with her. She wore cut-off denim shorts and a white halter-top, looking like a beach babe. She looked great in everything, from evening dresses to pants. She could shave her head and still look amazing. “I’m glad you had a comfortable stay. It was the least I could do since you came all the way out here.”
“It was my pleasure, Kyle.” She retrieved her suitcase and placed it beside the door. “Should we get going?”
I tried dragging this trip out as much as possible. If we spent enough time together maybe she would soften up and agree to dinner. I was one of those guys that loved the chase, but I only loved it for so long. It was clear from the beginning attaining Rose would be difficult, if not impossible. But I wouldn’t stop until I got at least one date out of her. “How about we stop for breakfast on the way? I’m starving.” I had breakfast at my mom’s because she forced it down my throat, but I could eat again.
“Uh, sure.” Rose was still committed to making the trip strictly professional. But she behaved differently toward me than she did everyone else, including her friend Florence. She was partially comfortable around me, always making eye contact with me when she avoided it with everyone else. There was hope there was something else there—that she felt what I felt.
“Great. Let’s hit the road.”
***
It was hard not to be offended that she didn’t want me in the house last night. I had to stay with my mother and be interrogated all night long. But I also understood the request. She didn’t know me very well and she was just cautious.
But it ruined my plans.
Sitting on the couch together in front of a roaring fire could have kindled a romance. One thing could have led to another, and maybe we would have spent the night together. The chemistry was there, that was certain. But she wouldn’t allow it to happen. She didn’t have a boyfriend so what was her hesitance?
“Where’s your place?” I reached the city along with the traffic.
“You can drop me off at my office.”
I hid my irritation at her need for secrecy. “Are you sure? Your suitcase is pretty heavy.”
“I’ll manage.” She looked out the window.
The logical part of me knew I should throw in the towel. She may be into me but she didn’t want anything to come from it. She kept walls of concrete erected all around her so nothing could get inside.
But I couldn’t give up.
When we reached the office I pulled up to the curb. “Thanks for coming out. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. I can promise you, this house is going to be beautiful. You can trust me to do a great job.” Her face always lit up when she talked about her architectural designs. Very few people loved their job the way she did. She clearly adored it.
“I’m sure I can.” If she were any oth
er woman I would touch her hand or place my hand on her thigh, some kind of move. But she would detest that. I could tell. All I could rely on were my words. “Let’s have dinner on Friday night.”
I did it. The words were out there hanging in the universe. I kept my confidence high without being too pushy. A gentle smile was on my face, trying to lure her in.
She reached for the door handle and gripped it. “Uh, to talk about the project?”
Now I knew what her answer would be. “No. I just want to spend time with you.” This was the time when I would lean in and place a gentle kiss on her lips. But I knew that would just drive her away. I had to restrain myself and rely on my words to seal the deal.
She gripped the handle so tightly her knuckles were turning white. Instead of being excited she looked terrified. “Uh, that’s very sweet of you to ask but no thank you.”
No thank you? Who says that?
“I’ll talk to you later.” She got out of the car as quickly as possible. Flustered, she slammed the car door behind her and the impact shook the car slightly.
Ouch.
She walked to the rear of the car and knocked on the truck.
I stared at her in the rearview mirror, digesting the rejection. I struck out hard. I chewed my inner lip, trying to mask the disappointment. Rejection wasn’t something I experienced very often, and now I was getting it at a time when I really didn’t want it.
I wanted her.
I knew I should let it go but I couldn’t.
I had to try again.
I got out of the car and came to her side. With a click of a button the trunk popped open.
She stood beside me, her eyes downcast and her body tense.
I grabbed the suitcase and carried it to the sidewalk. It was heavy for a day and a half trip.
“Thank you…” She pulled out the handle and prepared to leave.
“Hold on.” I didn’t block her path but I steadied her with my voice.
She turned back to me, clearly uncomfortable.
“When we first met I thought there was something here. In that restaurant…did you feel something?” Was I the only one who felt the ground shake below my feet? Was I the only one who felt time stop? Was I the only one who died inside just to come back to life?