To Love A Monster

by Marina Simcoe

  With lack of a plan, I had been extending my rent in town on a weekly than on a monthly basis. I still paid a small rent to my mom in Calgary, too.

  Yet I truly feel like home only here, with him.

  Through the distorted chaos of my thoughts, this one emerged with a refreshing clarity, so rare for my usual mental process.

  I inhaled deeply, and settled my gaze on his face again.

  “Would you make me tea every morning?”

  “Promise.” The corners of his mouth twitched up slightly.

  “And we’d talk by the fire like this every day?”

  “Yes.”

  “Would it mean I’d get to sleep next to you every night?”

  “Absolutely.” His tone was firm.

  “Then yes, I would love to move in with you, Monster.”

  “You would?” His voice was filled with disbelief, relief, and excitement—all at once.

  “Only if that’s what you want, of course,” I added, just in case.

  “What I want?” He shifted under me. “Let me tell you what I want, princess. I’m sick of having to watch you drive away, knowing I’ll spend my time pacing along that damn fence waiting for your return. Because when you’re gone, I can’t think about anything else. I want you here,” he wrapped his arms tightly around me, pulling me closer, “because this feels like where you belong.”

  “Then right here I’ll stay,” I murmured, inhaling his familiar scent as his fur tickled my face.

  He tucked my head under his chin, his fingers stroking my ponytail along my back.

  “At first, all I wanted was to chase you away because I thought we’d be better off as far away from each other as possible. But now . . . Is it selfish of me, Sophie? Wanting you here in my jail with me?”

  “No, Monster.” Normally plagued by doubt about everything, I felt an absolute certainty about my decision this time.

  “Do you think you could be happy here? Really happy?” Something still seemed to bother him.

  “I feel very happy right now,” I reassured him.

  He stirred suddenly.

  “Come.” He lifted me off the couch then pulled me towards the door leading from the kitchen to the garage, and I followed.

  “What?” I wrapped my arms tightly around me, shielding myself from the cold on the other side of the door.

  “I should’ve done this earlier. Come here,” Monster led me to the wall of the garage, furthest from the door.

  There, behind the fleet of landscaping and maintenance equipment, including the ATV with a plow that Monster used to clear the snow off the driveway, was a long shape covered with an enormous grey tarp.

  “When you’re in town, can you get a mechanic to come look at this please?” He pulled the tarp off, revealing a black Dodge truck underneath.

  The vehicle appeared to be almost brand new, even if considerably dusty. Its chrome detailing glistened in the semi-darkness of the garage.

  “I can pump air in the tires and do an oil change, but I’d rather get a mechanic to look at it before you drive since it’s been sitting here all this time unused.”

  “Wow. Monster. Whose truck is this?” I slid my fingers along the tailgate, leaving behind a shiny trail in the dust.

  “My father’s. He kept it here.” Monster folded the tarp, setting it aside. “Occasionally, David drove it to and from the airport when he came to check on me. More often than not, though, he had someone from Rocky River to pick him up on their way to the hunting lodge. That’s how he left last time. So the truck has been here ever since.”

  The vehicle was simply beautiful. And it was definitely much more than what I was going to get for myself.

  “I’ll do a proper Bill of Sale in your name, to make it easier for you.”

  “Monster, this is too much.” I shook my head. “I could get something smaller . . .”

  “You can’t go much smaller around here, Sophie. You need the four-wheel drive at least, on these roads. Besides, she needs to be driven, too. It’s not good for a vehicle to sit idle.”

  I considered his words for a moment.

  “I’ll give you money for it—”

  “Sure.” He chuckled. “Write me a cheque. I’ll take it to the bank one day.”

  “I’m serious.” I swatted at his hand as he swept my hair away to playfully nuzzle the side of my neck. “I’ll sell my car in Calgary and do a bank transfer to your account. You can’t just give it to me for nothing.”

  “How about all the supplies you have been bringing here for me? Count them as a payment if you want.”

  “A truck? In exchange for some gas and a few bags of groceries?”

  “Fine,” he exhaled with exaggerated frustration. “Feel free to keep bringing groceries, especially popcorn. I’m sure we’ll be even over time.”

  “So, essentially, you’re selling me your truck for a lifetime supply of popcorn?”

  I said in amusement, absentmindedly drawing my initials in the layer of dust on the tailgate.

  “And I’m getting the better part of the deal here, in my opinion.” He wrapped his big, furry arms around me, pressing my back to his chest. “As long as you’re always going to be the one to bring it.”

  He reached from behind me and drew a plus sign between S and M of my initials in the dust on the tailgate.

  Sophie plus Monster.

  The childish charm of this gesture made me smile, warming my heart.

  “Stay,” he whispered without a shade of humour in his voice this time. “Just stay with me, princess.”

  Chapter 32

  IT TOOK ME A COUPLE of days to get things sorted out in Rocky River. I let Bob and Melanie know I wouldn’t renew the rent agreement for February and refused to accept the remaining balance for January they kindly offered to refund.

  “Are you sure you want to live all alone in that place, honey?” Melanie’s expression was that of genuine concern when I told her where I was moving. “There’re bears and cougars all over that area. And how would you call for help if you need it?”

  When I told Jo that I was moving out of town but would still come to Rocky River once or twice a week to help her at the school, her jaw dropped.

  “Why?” She stared at me in obvious shock and bewilderment. “It may sound like a great arrangement to look after the place in exchange for rent, but there is no internet, Sophie. No cellphone reception. It’s like burying yourself alive! Not to mention that it’s not safe. A girl living alone in an abandoned house deep in the woods? Just think about it—it’s a perfect horror movie scenario.”

  Their concerns were valid of course. Especially, since I couldn’t tell them about the almost seven feet of hard muscles enclosed in fur, topped with horns, and equipped with sharp teeth and claws I’d have to protect me at the house in the woods.

  In the end, I had to promise to research every communication option available, from radio to a satellite phone. I told them that it’d be easier for me to look after the property if I lived there and assured everyone that I would come to town regularly, agreeing to a search party being sent to the house if I ended up missing for over a week without advanced notice.

  A plumber and his apprentice coming to work on the pipes gave me a lift to the estate, leaving me alone afterwards, as Monster kept to the woods while people worked on the house. I knew he’d come back as soon as he sensed them cross the property line on their way out of the estate.

  I had dinner almost ready when he came in.

  “Yay! We have running water,” I cried out triumphantly, rinsing my hands in the kitchen sink. “Hot and cold.”

  Silent, he stood on the other side of the island, leaning against the nearest wall with his shoulder.

  “Is something wrong?” I asked. “What are you doing?”

  “Enjoying the view.” A smile played on his lips.

  “What view?”

  His grin got bigger.

  “You, in my home.”

  I smiled, feeling my cheeks
heating with pleasure from the affection in his expression.

  “I’ll never get tired of it.” He closed the distance between us, wrapping me in his arms. “Thank you for being here, princess.”

  “NOTHING MAKES YOU APPRECIATE a working toilet like having to use an outhouse for a while. I’ll never take functioning plumbing for granted ever again,” I announced to Monster, who sat on top of the covers in bed wearing nothing but his fur.

  “Come here.” He reached for me, when I climbed in bed on the opposite side, and pulled me into his lap to straddle his legs. My nightshirt rode up, and a flock of small flutters rushed through me from the tickling sensation of his fur against my inner thighs. “I’ll see if I can get the hot tub clean enough to fill it again.”

  “A hot tub?” I gasped. “I had no idea there was one.”

  “You can’t see it. It’s built into the back deck, and everything has been covered with snow out there for weeks.” His hands slid up and down the top of my thighs, the rough skin of his palms in contrast to the softness of his fur beneath me.

  “Hot water and a hot tub. You’re all set for a life of luxury.” I raked my fingers through the fur on his chest, tracing the hard ridges of his pectorals underneath.

  “We,” he corrected. “We’re all set.”

  “We.” I nodded, enjoying the sound of the word.

  He moved his hands up to my hips, and I slid my fingers to his shoulders threading them through his mane.

  “Say it again,” he whispered.

  “We,” I repeated, leaning my forehead to his. “You and I.” He shifted me closer until our bodies ended up being flush against each other.

  My core slid along the solid ridge of his erection.

  “You’re so hard,” I gasped before I could stop myself.

  He chuckled into my hair.

  “A very common occurrence when you’re around.”

  A soft, deep rumble in his voice vibrated through me all the way down to my lower stomach, igniting desire inside.

  I buried my face in his mane, savoring the fresh smell of frost on his fur from his daily swim in the icy river. I had grown addicted to his wild scent and inhaled a lungful now, getting my fix.

  “Mmmm.” I rocked my hips against the hard bulge underneath me, needing to feel the ripples of pleasure it sent though my body.

  “Sophie,” Monster groaned and threw his head back—with a thud, the tips of his horns embedded into the wood behind him.

  “Now, you’ve damaged the wall,” I whispered, glancing up.

  “Fuck the wall.” He jerked his head forward, yanking the horns out of the timber. “You’re a damage to my sanity,” he growled, his eyes darkened with lust, his hands suddenly between us, his claws bared.

  I made a small noise of surprise, as he sliced my nightshirt open in one lightning-fast movement without leaving so much as a scratch on my skin.

  “Yesss,” he hissed, sliding aside the ripped edges of my shirt and exposing my breasts. With an arm under my backside, he lifted me up, bringing my chest to his face.

  His long, thick tongue lapped at my nipple as he kneaded my other breast with gentle insistence. The sensations fanned my arousal from delicate tendrils into flames.

  “Perfect,” he growled against my skin. The vibrating sound intensified the throbbing heat between my legs, and I rocked my hips against him searching for a contact.

  A teasing bite of his teeth on the sensitive bud of my nipple reaped a soft whimper from my lips. The whimper ended on a moan as his tongue soothed the sting right after and I arched my back leaning closer to him for more.

  “God, it’s so good.” There was no place for fear or panic here. Somehow, I’d had no chance to be afraid this time, completely swept away into the heat of the moment by him.

  I gripped his horns, my whole body trembling with the intense pleasure spread by his tongue and hands.

  “Hold on,” he ordered, and I obeyed, clinging tighter.

  His arms firmly around me, he flipped us onto the bed, my back to the mattress, then inclined his head, nudging his horns and prompting me to release my grip.

  He cupped my breasts and rubbed the rough cushions of his thumbs over my nipples, sending a new wave of scorching need rushing down through me.

  Slowly, he dragged the tip of his tongue between my breasts. “Delicious.” His hot whisper hit my skin then the flicker of his tongue continued down to my stomach and lower.

  With a sharp exhale, I grabbed on to the winding spirals of his horns again when he dipped his tongue between my thighs. I raised my hips to meet the invasion. Eyes closed, I rolled my head on the pillows, lost in the onslaught of sensations swirling through me.

  How could it feel so insanely good? How could he know this well every nerve of my body, better than I did myself?

  Breathless, I dug my fingers into the groves on his horns when the tight spring of pleasure inside me finally uncoiled with the blinding force of climax released by his skillful tongue.

  A series of sharp moans left my parted lips as my hips jerked in blissful spasms against his face.

  “Oh, God . . .” I whispered on exhale, basking in the warm, languid waves of afterglow rolling through me. “How can it be so . . . so—”

  “Amazing?” He propped himself on an elbow at my side. “Magical? Fanfuckingtastic?” His magnificent tongue darted between his teeth, licking his lips after each word, which made him look like if he’d just had the most satisfying dinner.

  “All of the above, darling.” I smiled as a warm tide of intense affection for him rose inside me. “All of the above.”

  He brushed my hair from my face, sliding his thumb along my cheekbone.

  “I love this thoroughly satisfied look on you.” He traced my lower lip. “It suits you.”

  “How about your own satisfaction?” I murmured. His rock-hard erection nudged my thigh. Emboldened by my body’s unusually wonderful response to his touch, I daringly slid my hand down to trace his length with the tips of my fingers.

  “Sophie,” he rumbled a warning at the contact, thrusting his hips into my hand.

  His jaw flexed, and his eyes gleamed dark from under the thick eyebrows. A flash of feral lust crossed his features. With a low groan, he grabbed my wrist and threw my arm over my head then heaved his massive body over mine, thrusting his hips against me.

  The warm haze of arousal receded as soon as he was on top of me. My stomach fluttered with nerves, but the panic never had a chance to get hold of me, as Monster stopped immediately. With a loud exhale, he dropped his head between his shoulders then rolled off me to his back.

  “I swear you’ve taken me to the very edge of my endurance—” His whole body shook with tension as he closed his eyes and took another deep breath, obviously struggling to rein in his lust. “Ever since you came along, I’ve been learning the virtue of endless patience among so many other things.” He exhaled a strained laugh and met my gaze again as his muscles relaxed a little. “The sweetest torture of having you near. I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.”

  The passion of his confession melted my heart. I raised a hand to touch his shoulder but held back, unsure of his reaction to my caress at the moment.

  “I want to do it,” I said quietly instead. My desire to go all the way with him became only more intense when voiced out loud.

  “What do you mean, princess?” he asked cautiously.

  “I want to have sex, Monster. Real sex.”

  “You’ve never done it.” He wasn't asking. Based on my reaction to any attempt of intimacy, it was easy enough to figure out by now that despite the number of boyfriends I’d had, I was still very much a virgin.

  I swallowed hard and focused on my fingers clasped in my lap. “No. But I want it. With you. I don’t want to be afraid any more.”

  It could only be him, or no one at all. He was the one capable of making me forget everything. Only he could bring me to ecstasy the way he did. I trusted his patience, and I want
ed him to help me fight the fear.

  “Are you sure, Sophie?” He sat up, too. The thoughtful attention in his voice gave me the courage to look up.

  “It has to be you.” My breathing came in shallow pants. My hands trembled with nerves, but my determination didn’t waver. “If I can’t do it with you, I doubt I ever will . . .”

  “You can do it.” He said firmly, raising his hand to my face, and I leaned into his touch. “And you will. We will.” His thumb caressed my temple, and his voice dropped to almost a whisper. “Tell me what you want and how you want it, and I’ll make it happen. Anything.”

  My breath hitched, excitement now mixed into my apprehension. Overwhelmed, my mind suddenly drew blank.

  “I don’t know,” I confessed.

  “Have you tried being on top, my sweet?” Monster’s voice came soft and gentle.

  I nodded in reply.

  “And it still didn’t work. It’s not just the position then?”

  I shook my head.

  “What then?”

  “The hands . . .” I croaked.

  He considered it for a moment.

  “I’ll hold the headboard then, like the last time. Okay?” He tipped his head searching my eyes.

  I nodded again, with a small, hopeful smile.

  “Here you go, Sophie.” He lay on his back and grabbed the log of the bed frame. “I’m all yours.”

  Submissive Monster was still a new sight to me. He looked both strong and sweet, and tantalizingly enticing, lying there, inviting me to take my pleasure in his body.

  His erection jerked up, demanding my attention, tempting . . . I slid my gaze along its length, wishing to glide my hand over it, flick my tongue along it.

  “Go ahead.” Monster’s voice was soft and hypnotic, entreating me to take a chance.

  Slowly, I shuffled on my knees along the mattress to his side, the remnants of my ruined nightshirt hanging off my shoulders and dragging behind me.

  “You’re in control,” he reminded me.

  I wanted to believe him. So much. With all my heart, I wanted to be with him. But this was not like the last time when I had my mouth on him.