by Gene Wolfe
sir, but he described you. He said that I was to say nothing if you
were with someone, sir. I was only to offer to bring you and anyone
who might be in your company refreshment, for which he would
pay. But that if I found you alone, I was to invite you to join him."
Silk shook his head. "I have no idea who this gentleman is. Do
you?"
"No, sir. He is not a regular patron. sir. I don't think I've ever
seen him before."
"Do you know the figure of Thelxiepela, waiter? Here in the
Glasshouse?"
"Certainly, sir. The tall gentleman instructed me to look for you
there, sir."
Colonel Oosik was tall, Silk reflected, though so massive that his
height had not been very noticeable; but Oosik could scarcely be
called long-faced. Since only he and Captain Gecko had read
Hyacinth's letter, the long-faced man was presumably Gecko. "Tell
him I can't join him in the Club," Silk said, choosing his words.
"Express my regrets. Tell him I'll be at the figure of Thelxiepeia. and
I'm alone. He may speak to me there if he chooses."
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. May I get you anything, sir? I could
bring it there."
Silk shook his head impatiently.
"Very well, sir. I will deliver your message."
"Wait a moment. What time is it?"
The waiter looked apologetic. "I have no watch, sir."
"Of course not. Neither do I. Approximately."
"I looked at the barman's clock, sir, only a minute or two before I
came here. It was five until twelve then, sir."
"Thank you," Silk said, and sat down on the carved wooden seat
without a thought about the difficulty of getting up.
_Hieraxday_, Hyacinth's letter said. He tried to recall her exact
words and failed, but he remembered their import. She had
mentioned no time, perhaps intending late afternoon, when she
would have finished her shopping. The barman's clock was in the
Club, no doubt; and the Club would be a drinking place, primarily
for men--a rich man's version of the Cock, where he had found
Auk. The waiter was unlikely to have glanced at the barman's clock
after speaking to the long-faced man, whoever he was; so it had
probably been ten minutes or more since he had noticed the time.
Hieraxday was past. This was Thelxday, and if Hyacinth had waited
for him (which was highly unlikely) he had not come.
"Hello, Jugs," Auk said, emerging from the darkness of a side
tunnel. "He wants us to work on Pas's Plan."
Chenille whirled. "Hackum! I've been looking all over for you!"
She ran to him, surprising him, threw her arms around him, and
wept.
"Now," he said. "Now, now, Jugs. Now, now." She had been
unhappy, and he knew it and knew that in some ill-defined and
troubling way it was his fault, although he had meant her no harm,
had wished her well and thought of her with kindness when he bad
thought of her at all. "Excuse," he muttered, and let go of Tartaros's
hand to embrace her with both arms.
When at last she ceased sobbing, he kissed her as tenderly as he
could, a kiss she returned passionately. She wiped her eyes, sniffled,
and gulped, "Oh, Hierax! Hackum, I missed you so much! I've been
so lonesome and scared. Hug me."
This baffled him, because he already was. He tried, "I'm sorry,
Jugs," and when it seemed to do no good, "I won't ever leave you
again unless you want me to."
She nodded and swallowed. "It's all right, as long as you keep
coming back."
He noticed her ring. "Didn't I give you that?"
"Yeah, thanks." Stepping back, she held it up to show it off better,
although the bleared greenish lights could never do it justice. "I love
it, but you can have it back anytime if you need the gelt."
"I'm flush, but I gave it to you?"
"You forget, huh?" She looked at him searchingly. "On account of
hitting your head. Or maybe a god got you like Kypris did me? It's
still pretty hard for me to remember lots of things that happened
when she was boss, or Scylla."
Auk shook his head, and found that it no longer ached. "I've
never had no god bossing me, Jugs, or wanted to either. That's lily.
I never even knew about Kypris, but you were a lot different when
you were Scylla."
"Some of that was me, I think. Hold me tighter, won't you? I'm
really cold."
"Your sunburn don't hurt any more?"
She shook her head. "Not much. I'm starting to peel a little.
The bird was pulling on the peels before he left, only I made him
stop."
Auk looked around. "Where is he?"
"With Patera and Stony, I guess. That Urus beat the hoof and they
took off after him. Me, too, only we came to a split in the tunnel,
you know?"
"Sure. I've seen a lot of them."
"And then I thought, they're not going to look for Auk anymore,
and that's what I want to do. So I sort of slowed down, and when
they went one way I went the other. I guess the bird went with
them."
"That was you I heard calling me."
Chenille nodded. "Yeah. I yelled until my pipe gave out. Oh,
Hackum, I'm so glad I found you!"
"We found you," he told her seriously. "Why I ran off, Jugs..."
He fell silent, massaging his big jaw.
"You saw somebody, Hackum. Or anyhow you thought you did. I
could see that, and Patera said so, too."
"Yeah. My brother Bustard. He's dead, see? Only he was down
here talking to me. I was going to say he wasn't really, I just sort of
dreamed it, only now I'm not so sure. Maybe he was. Know what I mean?"
The gray shiprock walls seemed to press in upon her. "I think so,
Hackum."
"Then he went away, and I missed him a lot, just like when he
died. So then when I saw him again, maybe it was a couple, three
hours later, I waved and yelled and tried to catch up, only I never
did. Then I got lost, but I didn't care because I was looking for
Bustard, and he could've been anywhere. Then I ran into this god.
Into Tartaros. Mostly I call him Terrible Tartaros, 'cause I can't say
the other right."
"You met a god, Hackum? Like you'd meet somebody in the
street, you mean?"
"Sort of." Auk sat down on the tunnel floor. "Jugs, will you sit on
my lap, the way you used to do in the old days? I'd like that."
"All right." She did, laying her launcher flat, crossing her long
legs, and leaning back in his arms "This is really better, Hackum.
It's a lot warmer Except I don't do it much any more because I
know I'm a pretty good load. Orchid says I'm getting fat. She's been
telling me for a couple of months now."
He held her closer, reveling in her softness. "She's fat. Real fat.
Not you, Jugs."
"Thanks. This god you met. Tartaros, right? He's for you like
Kypris is for us."
"Yeah, except he's one of the Seven."
"I know that. Tarsday."
"He's got a whole bunch of stuff besides us. The main thing is, he's
the night god. Anywhere it's dark, that's a special place for him.
Sleep
and dreams, too. I mean, any god can send a dream if he
wants to, but the regular kind that seem like nobody sent 'em are
his. I call him Terrible Tartaros 'cause you had to say terrible or the
other, or Maytera'd stomp you. I'd lay he could cut up rough, but
he's been a bob cull with me. He came along to show how to find
you and get out of here, and all that. He's next to us right now, only
you can't see him 'cause he's blind."
"You mean he's here with us?" Chenille's eyes were wide.
"Yeah, he's sitting right here with me, only I wouldn't try to reach
over and feel. Maybe he wouldn't do anything--"
She had already, waving her free arm through the empty space on
Auk's right.
He shook her, not roughly. "Don't, Jugs. I told you."
"He's not there. There's nothing there."
"All right, there's nothing there. I was shaving you."
"You shouldn't do that." She got up. "You don't know how shaggy
scared I am down here, or how shaggy hungry."
Auk rose too. "Yeah, it wasn't very funny, I guess. I'm sorry,
Jugs. I won't do it again. C'mon."
"Where are we going?"
"Out."
"Really, Hackum?"
"Sure. You're hungry. So am I. We're going to go out and get a
dimber dinner, probably at Pork's or one of those places. After that,
we can rent a room and get a little rest. He says I got to rest. After
that, maybe we'll do what Scylla said, only I don't know. I'll have to
ask him."
"Tartaros? That's who you're talking about? You really met him?"
"Yeah. It's real dark in there and pretty wet. Water's sort of
raining through the roof. If you saw it, you probably didn't go in,
but there's nothing in there that'll hurt you. I don't think so,
anyhow."
"I've still got this lantern that Gelada had, Hackum, only there's
no way to light it."
"We don't have to," he told her. "It's not very far."
"You said we were going out."
"It's on our way." He stopped and faced her. "Only we'd be going
even if it wasn't, 'cause he's got something to show us. He just told
me, see? Now listen up."
She nodded, drawing Incus's robe around her.
"This's a real god. Tartaros, just like I told you. My head's not
right 'cause I got a bruise in there and a big gob of blood, too, he
says. He's trying to fix it, and I been feeling better ever since he
started. Only we got to do like he says, so you're coming if I got to
carry you."
"Wood girl," Oreb called. "Here girl!"
Silk sat up; the 'girl' might be Hyacinth. If there was the least
chance, one in a thousand or ten million--if there was any chance at
all--he had to go. He made himself stand, picked up the bag,
coughed, spat, and stumbled away. The path wound right then left,
dropped into a tiny vale, and forked. White as ghosts, enormous
blossoms dripped moisture. "I'm coming, Oreb. Tell her I'm coming."
"Here, here!"
The bird sounded very near. He stepped off the glittering path,
his feet sinking in soft soil, and parted the leaves; the face that
stared into his own might have been that of a corpse, hollow-cheeked
and dull-eyed. He gasped, and saw its bloodless lips part. Oreb flew
to him, becoming two birds.
He advanced another step, sparing the crowding plants as much
as he could, and found himself standing upon red stones that
bordered a clear pool no bigger than a tablecloth, which a path
approached from the opposite side.
"Here girl!" Oreb hopped to the wooden figure's head and rapped
it smartly with his beak.
"Yes," Silk said, "that's Thelxiepeia." No other goddess had those
tilted eyes, and a carved marmoset perched upon the figure's
shoulder. He tapped his reflected face with a finger and clapped his
hands, but no monitor appeared in the silvered globe she held. "It's
just a mirror," he told Oreb. "I hoped it might be a glass--that
Hyacinth might call me on it."
"No call?"
"No call on this, alas." With help from a friendly tree, he walked
the stony rim of the pool to a swinging seat facing the water. Here,
as Oosik had said, one saw the pool reflected in Thelxiepeia's
mirror, and her mirror reflected in it.
Hieraxday had been the day for dying and for honoring the dead.
Crane had died; but he, Silk, had done neither. Today, Thelxday,
was the day for crystal gazing and casting fortunes, for tricks and
spells, and for hunting and trapping animals; he resolved to do none
of those things, leaned back in the swing, and closed his eyes.
Thelxiepeia was at once the cruelest and kindest of goddesses, more
mercurial even than Molpe, though she was said--it would be why
her image was here--to favor lovers. Love was the greatest of
enchantments; if Echidna and her children succeeded in killing
Kypris, Thelxiepeia would no doubt, would doubtless...
_Become the goddess of love in a century or less_, said the Outsider,
standing not behind Silk as he had in the ball court, but before
him--standing on the still water of the pool, tall and wise and kind, with a
face that nearly came into focus. _I would claim her in that case, long
before the end. As I have so many others. As I am claiming Kypris
even now because love always proceeds from me, real love, true love.
First romance_.
The Outsider was the dancing man on a toy, and the water the
polished toy-top on which he danced with Kypris, who was Hyacinth
and Mother, too. _First romance_, sang the Outsider with the music
box. _First romance_. It was why he was called the Outsider. He was
outside--
"I, er, hope and--ah--trust I'm not disturbing you?"
Silk woke with a start and looked around wildly.
"Man come," Oreb remarked. "Bad man." Oreb was perched on a
stone beside Thelxiepeia's pool; when he had concluded his
remarks, he pecked experimentally at a shining silver minnow that
darted away in terror.
"Names are not--um--requisite, eh? I know who you are. You
know me, hey? Let that be enough for both of us."
Silk recognized his swaying visitor, started to speak, and assimilating
what had been said remained silent.
"Capital. I--ah--we are taking a risk, you and I. An--ah--rash
gamble. Simply by, urp, being where we belong. Here on the hill, eh?"
"Won't you sit down?" Silk struggled to his feet.
"No. I--ah--no." His visitor belched again, softly. "Thank you. I
have been waiting in the--ah--bar. Where, ump, I have been
compelled to buy drinks. And--um--drink. Standing's best. Um, at
present, eh? I'll just, er, lean on this, if I may. But please--ah--be
seated yourself, Pa--" He covered his mouth with his hand. "Seated
by all means. It is I who should--and I do. I, um, am. As you see, eh?"
Silk resumed his place in the swing. "May I ask--"
His visitor raised a hand. "How I knew I should find you here? I did not,
Pa--Did not. Nothing of the sort. But while I was--rup!--sitting in
that, er, whatchamacallit, I observed you to enter the
room. Not the--um--one I sat in, that
, ah, darksome and paneled
drinking place, hey? The other. The outer room, much bigger."
"The sellaria," Silk supplied.
"Ah--quite. I, um, went to the door. Spied upon you."
The visitor shook his head in self-reproach.
"It was excusable, surely, under the circumstances. I have recently
done far worse things."
"Good of you to say so. I--um--waylaid that waiter. You spoke
with him."
Silk nodded.
"I had, um, observed you to pass under--ah--through the arch. I
had never had the, er, pleasure myself, eh? I, ah, apprehended that
it was--ah, is--some sort of garden, however. I inquired about it.
He, um, indicated that it was--is, I surmise--employed for, um,
discussions of a--ah--amorous nature."
"You knew that I would be here, at this particular spot." Silk
found it extremely inconvenient to be unable to say _Your Eminence_.
"You told him to look for me here."
"No, no!" His visitor shook his head emphatically. "I, ah, anticipated
you might, um, possibly have an appointment. As he had,
um, inadverted. But I--ah--in addition, um, however, ah,
considered that you might wish to, um, petition the immortal gods.
As I, ah, myself. I inquired about such a place in this, um,
conservatory. He mentioned the present, ah, xylograph." The visitor
smiled "That's the spot, I told him. That's where you'll find him.
Would you mind if I, um, sat myself, now? There by you? I'm--ah--quite
fatigued."
"Please do." Hastily, Silk moved to one side.
"Thank you--ah--thank you. Most thoughtful. I have had no
supper. Hesitated to order anything in--ah--that place. With the
wine. Parsimony. Foolish--ah--imbecile, actually."
"Catch fish," Oreb suggested.
Silk's visitor ignored him. "I've funds, eh? You?"
"No, nothing."
"Here, Pa--My boy. Hold out your hands." Golden cards
showered into Silk's lap. "No, no! Take them! Others--ah--more.
Where they came from, eh? Wait for the waiter. Buy yourself a bit
of food. For me, ah, in addition. I am, um, in need. Of help. Of--ah--succor.
Such is, um, the long and short of it. I cast myself--um.
Ourselves. I--we--cast ourselves upon your--ah--commiseration."
Silk looked searchingly at Thelxiepeia, who returned his look with
wooden aplomb. Was this enchanted gold that would (figuratively at
least) melt at a touch? If not, what had he done to earn her favor?