Lifen pointed to a closed door at the end of the hallway. “That’s the treatment room. The boys have no reason to go in there. Although, once I feel you are ready I will teach you new healing techniques on injured animals.”
“Sounds good to me. I like animals.”
“Today you will do some animal mapping. I realize that you inherited some animal shapes, but because you are so young and inexperienced, I find it’s best to work one on one. It will be much easier for you to connect with the forms if you can study them in person.”
Ana’s excitement built into a crescendo until one thought brought it tumbling down. What if she couldn’t shift again? She’d only done it once before and the last time she’d tried she’d been unsuccessful. It was one thing to try and fail in private, but she was with the guys. They seemed more than curious about her and her abilities.
“Jordan and Derek, I want you two to practice with the horse. You can go into the arena to stretch out and move around. Ryan, I want to see you continue your work with the iguana. I expect to see improvement since I left to bring back Ana—I don’t want to have to heal you like last time. Pay special attention to the different mapping of the reptile. It is not the same as a mammal no matter how similar you think it is. This time I want you to study it for fifteen minutes before even attempting anything. Do you understand?”
The cocky smirk Ryan normally sported around was nowhere in sight. He gave a dark nod and slunk diagonally away from them to a large glass enclosure. Derek gave Ana a wave before joining Jordan at the opposite end of the building.
Ana’s heartbeat echoed in her ears and she returned her focus to Lifen, who had been staring at her the whole time. “Are you ready, Ana?”
The whole trip she’d wanted Lifen to help her shapeshift, but now they were down to it, she wasn’t sure if she had it in her. She wasn’t a natural born shapeshifter. This wasn’t her. As much as she’d envied Chance, she never really thought she’d have his abilities.
“What are you thinking? You look concerned.”
Was she that obvious?
“Are you sure about this? I haven’t shifted since the first time, and remember when I tried in the jungle, I couldn’t do it?” She twisted her hands together and stared at the floor. “I just don’t know if I can do this. I wasn’t meant to be a shifter . . . I mean . . .”
“Look at me.” Lifen’s voice was soft, yet commanding.
She reluctantly lifted her gaze to her teacher.
“You are fated for this. Just because you were not genetically selected doesn’t mean anything. You are afraid. That is natural. It will help push you in your education, but do not let it consume you. I did not want you to try shifting again until we arrived here because I wanted you to practice connecting with your energy and I hoped you would gain confidence. How did it go with the candle?”
Ana’s shoulders slumped and she said, “Not as well as I’d hoped. I’m still pulling in the energy around me and the flame almost went out.”
“I do not want you to get discouraged so quickly. Shifters work on their skills over years—decades. Did you notice any improvement?”
“Yeah, I guess I got a little better. When I started, the flame went out, and then before I stopped I was able to keep it lit, barely.”
“It sounds like you are getting more comfortable with your own energy core and how it works, which is the most important thing for you. It is the basis of how your abilities work. Being able to connect with and understand yourself is paramount.”
“Okay, I guess I understand. I’m just in a hurry.”
Lifen rested her hand on Ana’s shoulder and a warm sensation flowed through her body. All tension released and her worries were pushed just out of reach. “I know you want to save your Chance, but the focus must be on learning. The pressure you’re putting yourself under will only hinder the process. You must try to push him from your thoughts.”
He never did that when her health was in question, so how could Ana do any less for him?
The rustles and animal sounds in the building hushed and the hairs on the back of her neck raised. Although they were supposed to be paying attention to their own studies, she felt the guys’ eyes on her.
“Let us begin. I know you have the knowledge and animal mappings from Chance, but you are still a youngling and should start with basics. It is easiest for shifters to start with mammals because we have similar genetic makeups. This is why I would like you to start with the arctic hare.” Lifen stood aside to reveal a vertically stacked enclosure with three cages. In the middle one, two pale rabbits hopped around on scattered hay. They sniffed gingerly at the twisted wire and their soft brown eyes stared out at her.
“When mapping an animal, you must clear your mind and allow yourself to focus entirely on the creature. Do not look at it with your eyes, but with your senses. Similar to earlier when you went into a meditative state and were able to see the energy around you, I want you to see beyond, and when that happens, you will experience a strange sensation. Why don’t you give it a try?”
Ana took a deep breath and stretched her neck before staring through the cage. The rabbits went back to their business of chewing on green celery stalks. Their fluffy, round bodies radiated heat, and Ana was surprised she could sense it. She stared at their cheeks pulling back with quick movements as they ate their meal. Rapid thumping grew louder in her ears and she realized it was their heartbeats.
While her focus intensified, everything else around her fell away. It was similar to one of the many times she passed out from overexerting herself before Chance healed her heart. At least the moments leading up to passing out, when all she could hear was her own breath and everything around her fuzzed out. It was in those moments, as she stood fixated on the rabbits, it happened for the first time.
Bright blue lines ignited around the hares, their furry bodies faded in her vision and all she could see was their energy. Light poured from the center of the woven sapphire outline and she sucked in a lungful of air at the beauty of it. Soon the mapping faded and she was left staring at the animals. Her energy had depleted and she leaned against the cages to rest.
“How did it work for you, Ana?” Lifen asked beside her.
“I think it worked. I mean, I saw a whole bunch of blue lines all over the animals and glowing light. That was tiring.”
“Very good, you just mapped your first animal. It is normally very draining, but if you meditate for a while you should be reenergized. I built my home in this location for a reason. It has a strong magnetic field here, which is naturally revitalizing to shifters and healers.”
“Oh, that’s the same as Balam. I heard him and Chance talking about it.”
“If you’d come with me, I’ll show you a special place you can sit to refocus your energy inward.” Lifen walked to a door at their side of the building. She said over her shoulder, “I’ll be right with you Ryan, since I see it’s too hard for you to pay attention to your own work.”
When Lifen wasn’t looking, Ana saw him sneer at their mentor. She held open the door for Ana. They exited the space and entered a covered patio with large windows. It was cold and drafty, but that was due to the concrete floor and thin walls. Ana shivered and rubbed her arms.
“You can sit on the chaise and go into a meditative state like you did earlier. Draw in the chi around you—don’t worry, you’re too far from the boys to affect them. This will refill your reservoir and you will be ready to shapeshift.”
“Chi?” Ana asked.
“Energy.”
Ana moved to the padded outdoor sofa and tucked her robe tightly around her legs before sitting down.
“Come in when you’re ready,” Lifen said.
The door shut behind her and she knew she was alone. She wanted to get back to work, so she closed her eyes in preparation. After calling to it all day, she was getting much more familiar with connecting to her energy reservoir. It crackled at her attention and her chest radiated warmth. She took
a deep breath and looked out the wraparound windows. Bright, white snow covered the earth outside. Exposed tree boughs were caked with what looked like fluffy frosting, only leaving the rough, brown bark of the trunk. Energy motes swirled up from the ground, weaving throughout the landscape, and even around her in the enclosed patio.
Despite her multiple freak-outs earlier, she couldn’t help but grin. It was awe-inspiring. If only everyone could see what she saw. It was truly amazing.
With her eyes open, she funneled in the energy around her. The circling light particles pulled toward her as if she were the sun and they were in her gravity field. As they joined with her, the exhaustion she’d experienced when she mapped the rabbit went away and a euphoric sensation replaced it. Although she was a little light-headed, soon she was perky again and ready to take on the next challenge.
This was pretty awesome. If only she’d had this ability when her heart was ill, she would’ve been able to do whatever she wanted. Had it been this way for Chance? She thought back to his training sessions and doubted he’d been able to regenerate his powers quite like this. It was a benefit of being a shifter healer.
After at least an hour, Ana stood up and went back into the building. Again, her eyes struggled with adjusting to the change of light, but after a minute she made out Lifen and Ryan standing about ten feet away.
“That was fast. Who are you, Superwoman?” A dark expression spread across Ryan’s face.
“Do you feel up to continuing, Ana?” Lifen stepped away from him and said over her shoulder, “You need to study it further before you try it again, Ryan.”
He braced his hands on either side of the terrarium and grimaced at the glass. Ana recognized his expression—Chance had worn it many times when he was frustrated. She felt bad for him, and wished for his sake she’d taken longer coming inside. She returned to the rabbit’s enclosure and kept her back to him, trying to offer some amount of privacy.
Lifen joined her and when she looked at her mentor, a sparkle of excitement could be seen in her eyes. “I am very proud of you. You are a natural.”
A clatter of wings above them drew her attention. Two small finches were flapping around a nest in the rafters. Clearly they had adopted the building as their home as well.
“Are you ready to shift?”
“Yeah, I’m ready to give it a try.”
Lifen laid her hand on Ana’s shoulder endearingly. “Once you are more skilled you do not need the animal before you shift, you need only to refer to its mapping in your memory. But it is best for you to begin with the animal before you. There is less room for error. With your attention on the hare, reference its mapping and call on your energy—the rest should happen naturally.”
Ana took a shaky breath, nervous and excited all at once. She hoped it would be as easy to shapeshift as it was to map a new form. She attempted to clear her mind and to call on the blue lines that she’d seen only a short time ago. While she fumbled with the shape, she ignited her core and its warm yellow energy flowed through her body, from the top of her head to her fingertips. She felt like a running engine. Her motor was in gear, ready to go, and she only needed direction.
Chirping echoed through the vaulted ceilings and she tilted her head back. Ana’s skin prickled delicately at first, but then her body erupted into a push-and-pull battle with her powers. A strange sensation coursed through her and for a moment she wasn’t sure if it would turn painful. Organs rearranged themselves while her structure and skin changed completely. All of this happened so quickly she was surprised she was able to experience all of it while it happened.
Then there was stillness.
Ana looked up at her mentor who loomed over her like a tall giantess. Her mouth was moving and she realized Lifen was talking, it just sounded different in her ears.
“Exceptional. Taking on a different animal group so early on. How do you feel?”
What was Lifen talking about? Ana lifted her shoulders. They pulled differently than she was used to, but they felt fine. Her face was itchy. When she lifted her hand to rub at it, gray feathers brushed across her eyes instead.
Feathers? She stared down at the floor, and amongst the folds of her robe were two brown bean poles for legs. Her beak touched her feathered chest as she gazed at her spider-like feet. I’m a bird.
Ana couldn’t believe it. She really had tried to become a rabbit and of course, she turned into something else entirely. Well, she would need more practice if she could be trusted to shift into what she intended to. She was just thankful she hadn’t hurt herself. Would it be worth changing back to human form just to try it again?
Lifen seemed pleased to see Ana shift into a bird, but she was probably just spinning the fact that Ana had screwed up. Ana didn’t particularly want to take the shape of a hare, but she wanted to know that she could do what she set out to do. Sure, birds could fly and feel weightless in the sky . . .
Her tiny heart pumped wildly and she realized she’d taken the form she’d always dreamed of. She would have screamed in happiness if she could have, but instead, a high-pitched chirp came out of her. She lifted one of her legs and stepped forward onto the brown fabric, teetering a little. Continuing to move forward, she walked away from Lifen and down the corridor. It was strange being so low to the ground. Everything towered above her and appeared so different from her new perspective.
Ana’s feet scurried ahead, taking her with them. She reached a wide opening to her right and ventured through. Loud clomping and neighing echoed in an open arena. Large shapes moved across the dirty ground.
“Would you like to try to fly?” Lifen’s voice came from behind.
She tilted her head sideways and looked at her mentor out of one eye. Lifen lowered herself slowly and let her finger rest just in front of Ana’s feet.
This was the moment Ana had been dreaming about since she was a child. The freedom flying brought was only make-believe, or so she’d thought until she’d met Chance. Even then, she never could have imagined it would become a reality for her. She stepped onto Lifen’s finger, her claws clutching tightly so she wouldn’t fall. Her mentor lifted her gradually, and she couldn’t help but extend her wings for counterbalance.
“I recommend when learning how to fly, you grip with your feet and hold on while you flap your wings. When you feel like you have enough vertical thrust, let go. But do not be disappointed if you have to work on this. There is skill involved with maneuvering yourself in the air.”
Ana tightened her grip on Lifen’s finger and straightened her wings. She lifted up and down awkwardly. It took her a moment to get used to the fact that she wasn’t waving her arms around at all but doing something entirely different. She closed her eyes and recalled one of the many dreams she’d had over the years.
A rhythm developed and a pattern of movement. Her feet pulled at Lifen’s finger while her wings propelled her upward. Feeling confident and a little adventurous, she let go after a particularly strong downward motion. Up she went into the air, above her mentor’s head. Her wings flapped effortlessly and kept her afloat.
“Wonderful, Ana!”
She rose higher above Lifen’s head and decided it was time to move. Ana tipped her body forward, cupped her feathers out and let the air carry her across the arena. She couldn’t help but giggle, which came out in soft chirps. Her body moved lithely and while she grew more comfortable, she cut sharp corners, climbed vertically and held herself in place. It was even better than her dreams.
After her excitement died down, she realized there were two horses trotting around the large space below her. It had to be Derek and Jordan, but which was which? One was prancing along the length of the arena just in front of Lifen, and the other was standing with its head lifted as though it were trying to watch her. Well, maybe it wasn’t too hard to figure out who was who.
Ana circled down to the chestnut colt that was watching her and outstretched her talons to grab onto his back. His muscles twitched where she landed, so sh
e scurried up his spine to his head. Derek’s snout lifted and she tipped her head sideways to look down at him. A neigh broke loose and her chirps intermingled with it.
Her enjoyment was cut short when she recalled the last time she was on a horse. It felt wrong being with Derek and guilt consumed her. She shouldn’t be enjoying herself while Chance was out in the wilderness, held hostage by the sickness. Ana would never be able to help him if she lost focus. She was far from controlling her powers. There was no room for failure.
Chapter 14
It was mid-morning and Chance had been traveling north with Batukhan for days. They’d been making pretty good time, but it would probably take another couple of days before they reached the border of the United States, something he felt somewhat relieved about. There hadn’t been many people along the route they took, which had its positives and negatives. It was easier to move without concern of their movement being halted, although it was harder to find food and water and Chance refused to eat in the form of an animal. He had no interest in eating other animals or who knew what else. A line had to be drawn somewhere.
They stopped at a small pond to take a drink and stretch.
Chance returned to human form and questioned Batukhan. “Are you sure we shouldn’t cut west? It seems like it’d be quicker that way.”
His companion shifted from canine to man swiftly. “I wouldn’t drink that in human form. Dogs have better gut and mouth enzymes to filter any unfriendly bacteria. And no, we’ve kept inland along the eastern side of Mexico, just out of sight of the gulf for a reason. If we cut west now, we’ll be sorry. The central region is so dry. It is unpleasant traveling conditions. Once we arrive in Texas we can move west.”
How do you know what his intention is? Be on guard.
Suspicion clouded Chance’s thoughts. “How do I know you’re not just leading me into a trap? You say I should trust you, but I have no way of knowing if I should.”
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