"Good evening, Benny." She smiled as she handed him her wrap. "It's nice to see you, too."
Rod stood just behind Leslie, and without-warning his hand came around her shoulder. "I've got some news for you, Benny," he said. "Miss Foster will soon become my wife."
Benny allowed himself to smile and he gave a smart half-bow. "Congratulations, sir, and best wishes to you, Miss Foster. But if this is the case, I must go at once and chill a bottle of champagne to replace the wine I had planned to serve." He cast a reproachful glance at Rod. "You should have warned me the dinner tonight was to be a celebration."
Rod grimaced. "Sorry, Benny. I should have indeed."
They stood without moving as they watched Benny's retreating white-coated back. Rod chuckled close to Leslie's ear and said in a low voice, "That's two set-downs I've had this evening."
Leslie laughed, too, and turned her head to look up at him. "Maybe you deserved them. I have a feeling it doesn't happen to you very often."
"Maybe you're right," he agreed. "I suppose everyone needs to be cut down to size every once in a while. Come, I'll mix us a drink while we wait for dinner." With his arm still comfortably around her shoulder, he led her into the spacious living room.
Despite its size, it was a comfortable room, done in restful hues of jade green, brown, and cream. Large potted palms gave it a touch of the outdoors. Leslie sat down on the sofa while Rod crossed the room to the bar that was built against one wall, sandwiched between filled bookcases. In the center of the widest wall was a fireplace and in another corner was a special case which contained rare and beautiful pieces of jade. They were collector's items and probably worth a small fortune, Leslie was sure.
Rod returned and handed her a martini, then he sat down beside her. "To us," he said, holding out his glass.
"To us," she toasted as her glass lightly touched his. Then she took a sip of the drink and set the glass on the table beside her.
When she looked up again, she was disconcerted to discover Rod's eyes upon her. "You're very beautiful tonight," he told her. "I like your dress."
"Not flamboyant," she reminded with a grimace as she smoothed the pale blue skirt across her knees. The dress she wore tonight had a scooped neckline and a long, narrow skirt and was exactly the sort of conservative dress a pastor's daughter would wear.
"Definitely not flamboyant," Rod agreed, "but much more suggestive and enticing in its way than the one you wore that night at the hotel."
It still made her uncomfortable whenever Rod made a personal observation about her appearance and now Leslie sought to change the subject. "I should like to see the rest of the house. Do you think there's time before dinner?"
Rod placed his glass on the cocktail table and rose at once. "Of course," he said politely.
Even as large as the house was, it did not take them long. Rod showed her his study, the garden room, and then even peeked into the kitchen where Benny was preparing dinner, but they did not go inside to disturb him.
Upstairs were six bedrooms, three with private baths. The largest was the one Rod occupied. "If you prefer my room as your own," he told her as he showed it to her, "you can have it and I'll move to another. It is the only room with a view of the bay."
"Oh, no," she said quickly, "that doesn't matter. Any of the other rooms will do fine for me."
He nodded. "All right. Unless you have another preference, the one directly next door to mine is the best. It's larger than the others and has its own bath."
They returned downstairs to find Benny ready to serve dinner. The meal was a leisurely one of prime ribs, asparagus tips, and other succulent vegetables, and Leslie enjoyed it. While they ate, they spoke of impersonal topics such as music and books. Once the meal drew to an end, they returned to the living room for coffee, and Rod said, "I think it's time we got down to business. We need to set a wedding date and discuss what sort of wedding we'll have. Do you wish to be married by your father in his church? We can arrange it if that's what you want."
Leslie had already given that possibility some thought and had quickly discarded it. "It's nice of you to offer," she said slowly, "but no, I don't want that. Couldn't we just be married at the courthouse?"
Rod frowned and the angled planes of his face grew harsh. "No hole-in-the-corner affair," he said sternly. "We're marrying in proper style, my girl. Why don't you want to be married in your home church?"
Leslie lowered her head to avoid those piercing blue eyes. How could she possibly explain that to be married by her own father in the church she had grown up in would seem irrevocably binding? And since they planned to seek a divorce she just could not bring herself to do that.
"You feel that if your father married us it ought to be permanent, don't you?" Rod asked with perception.
"What are you, anyway?" she flared at him. "A mind reader or something? All right, I admit it. It's a silly hang-up of mine, but I can't help it. I cannot be married by my father when I know already that the marriage is for only a short time."
"I can understand your reluctance," Rod said, surprising her, "but we're still going to do the thing decently, Leslie. My own family—my father and my aunt—will certainly expect to be invited to my wedding, and if you're as close to your family as I think you are, they would be permanently crushed not to have been included also. Isn't that true?"
Leslie's head bobbed up and down as though pulled by puppet strings.
"Then how is it if we marry at a local church? Have somebody else perform the ceremony but let your father fill the traditional role of giving away the bride?"
"You mean a formal wedding?" She turned to look at him.
"That's exactly what I mean. One month from today. Think we can manage that?" He smiled, and when he did she had the oddest little pang of regret that this marriage they were planning wasn't the real thing.
"All right," she agreed after a moment of consideration. And then: "A month! Do you realize how soon that is? Why, there are a thousand things to do!"
Rod's smile grew into a taunting grin. "At least it'll keep you too busy to get yourself into any more messes."
Leslie stuck out her tongue at him, realized what she had done, and was appalled at her audacity until she saw that he was laughing. Then he stood up and held out his hand toward her.
"Let's go into the study and call our families with the news. And remember—we're happy lovebirds."
For the next half hour they played their act. After their initial astonishment, Leslie's parents were soon won around by Rod smoothly explaining that business pressures kept him from taking the time to be married in Alabama, but that he was sending them airline tickets to California and expected them to be his house-guests while they were there. Then it was Leslie's turn to be equally charming to Rod's father in Miami. Patterning her conversation after Rod's to her parents, she assured the older Mr. Castle that she loved his son very much, and she felt a bitter fraud when he responded, "I always knew Rod would find the right girl someday and I know you'll make him happy. Bless you, my dear, and I'll be at the wedding with bells on."
When it was over, Leslie slumped back into the cushioned chair exhausted. "I didn't know lying was such hard work!" she gasped.
"Hey, don't go getting a guilt complex about this,"
Rod ordered. "Look at it this way, Leslie. We may have stretched the truth a bit about loving each other, but at the same time I have every expectation that our marriage will be a happy one. It'll be a partnership between two people who can be totally honest with one another."
"Good friends." She nodded soberly. "I understand, Rod."
"Fine. You sit right there and I'll be back in a minute. I have something for you."
She watched him leave, wondering what he could possibly have for her, but she was too emotionally drained to care. The strain of the last half hour had worn her out, and though Rod had tried to make her feel better about the deception, his words had not really helped. A lie was a lie was a lie, and no amount of se
lf-justification could change that. At the same time she was fast growing to like the idea of marriage to him. He sounded so positive that they would have a good relationship, a friendly relationship, that she was beginning to believe him. Already, in just one short evening, they had both relaxed and enjoyed one another's company in a way she could never have believed possible a week ago. They had managed to drop the employer-employee aloofness so quickly and had become aware of each other in a new, rather exciting way. Good friends, he had said. Well, why not? They had both tried romance and it had let them down. Perhaps a marriage based on mutual trust and respect as friends would prove to be the more enduring. At the very least, this way, despite Patsy's dire prognostications to the contrary, she could not get hurt and neither could Rod.
Rod returned, offered her his hand, and pulled her to her feet. "Close your eyes," he said with a tiny smile stretching his lips.
Leslie obeyed and was instantaneously elevated into a heightened sensual awareness of him. They stood so close that she could feel heat radiating from his body, and there was a heady, musky male scent about him that made her heart race. He took her left hand in his and slid something onto her ring finger.
"You can open your eyes now," he told her.
She did so, glancing down at her hand. What she saw made her gasp aloud. She was wearing an incredibly beautiful jade ring. The green stone was oval, surrounded by glittering diamonds within a delicately designed gold setting.
"It belonged to my stepmother," Rod said in a soft voice. "My father gave it to her because she loved jade so much. In fact, the jade collection in the living room was hers. It belongs to Dad now, but this ring was always meant to go to my bride. It was my stepmother's express wish before she died. Do you like it?" For the first time there was an unaccustomed note of doubt in his voice. "It's your engagement ring, but if you don't like it we can always get you another."
"Of course I like it!" Leslie exclaimed, wanting most of all to erase the anxious expression on his face. "It's the loveliest ring I ever saw in my life. But, Rod"— there was concern in her own eyes now as she looked up at him—"I don't feel I should have this, the way things are. Your stepmother meant her ring to go to the woman you really love."
He smiled at her. "She said my bride, and that will be you, Leslie. I want you to have it," he said with a soft emphasis, "so let's not argue. Does it fit all right or does it need alterations?"
"It fits perfectly," she assured him. "I… thank you… for giving me such a lovely engagement ring." There was a certain gleam in his eyes that left her feeling both shy and breathless.
For a long moment Rod gazed silently at her, and Leslie was mesmerized by the softness in those blue eyes. Then his hands went to her shoulders and he gently drew her against him. His head bent and his lips claimed hers, warm and soft and tender. It was not a passionate lover's kiss in any sense of the word and yet it affected Leslie in some profound manner she could not analyze. She only knew that it made her feel happy; it seemed to promise something indefinable, but most of all it was the seal of their commitment to each other.
The next weeks sped by; there was the newly hired secretary to train besides attending to the multitude of details concerning the wedding.
She saw little of Rod during those blurred weeks. He was away much of the time on business, traveling to the New Orleans Castle or the Chicago Castle or the Miami Castle, and sometimes it was difficult to realize she was actually engaged to him. While he was away he telephoned every day, but there was nothing special about that. He was merely calling her in her capacity as his secretary and she would dutifully relate any important items of news to him. During those calls they both spoke with brisk efficiency, and it was only after all the business-related matters had been dealt with that Rod would inject a personal note and ask how she was, but he sounded so far away and remote—like a perfect stranger—that Leslie began having grave doubts about the wisdom of what she was doing after all.
Strangely, as her own doubts grew Patsy's diminished. For the first week Patsy remained hostile and sourly disapproving, but one evening, while Leslie was wrestling with the invitation list that Rod had given her, Patsy came and stood watching silently over her shoulder and then suddenly announced, "If you're determined to go through with this crazy scheme, then there's nothing I can do to stop it, but I do not intend to allow myself to be cheated out of helping with your wedding. Give me that list."
After that Patsy gave freely of her practical help, and as the day of the wedding drew nearer Leslie knew she would never have been able to manage it all without her friend.
Rod returned exactly a week before their wedding day, and with him came his father. Leslie's parents arrived later the same afternoon, and they held a get-acquainted dinner party that evening at Rod's home.
On the surface it seemed a joyous occasion. Leslie's parents approved of both Rod and his father; the elder Mr. Castle appeared to like Leslie and her family. Everybody loves everybody, Leslie thought a bit wryly as they all sat in the large formal dining room. Except, her mind added, Rod and me. She happened to catch sight of her father's smile and quickly looked away. She was ashamed of deceiving her parents and Mr. Castle and behaving as if this were a normal marriage for the normal reasons.
She was glad when dinner ended and the party moved at last into the living room. She felt restless and fidgety; it had taken all her willpower to sit still and smile throughout the meal.
An arm suddenly encircled her waist and she was drawn back against a rock-hard body. Leslie stiffened with resentment as Rod's lips brushed against her cheek. "Act like you're enjoying this," he whispered sternly, and as she obeyed by pasting still another smile on her face, he said aloud, "Dad, Mr. and Mrs. Foster, Benny will be along shortly with your coffee. Leslie and I haven't seen each other alone in over two weeks. I hope you'll understand if I take her off to the study with me for a few minutes? I promise we won't be gone long."
He was playing the game of deceit for all it was worth, Leslie thought furiously. Her face reddened at the indulgent looks their parents exchanged.
Rod's arm was still around Leslie's waist as he led her from the room and across the hall into the study.
"What did you do that for?" she snapped irritably as soon as he had shut the door. "Just to make me look like a fool?"
Rod's jaw went hard. "On the contrary, to save you from it. We're being married in a week, Leslie, for heaven's sake. How are two people in love supposed to behave when they've been apart? Everyone would have become very suspicious if I hadn't wanted to carry you off for some time alone together!"
Leslie chewed on her lower lip as the truth of what he was saying sank in. "I… suppose you're right," she conceded at last. "I'm sorry."
"There was another reason why I wanted to get you out of there," he added now. "You were beginning to have a renewed attack of guilt pangs. Your face was giving it away and I didn't want the others to notice."
Leslie hung her head and her dark hair slid forward, partially obscuring her face. "It's that obvious?" she mumbled.
"To me it is," Rod told her. Then, very quietly, he asked, "Have you been having second thoughts about what we're doing?"
Her head jerked up. "Of course I have!" she exclaimed. "Second, third, and fourth thoughts even. Aren't you?"
Rod's eyes were piercing as he stared at her. "Are you trying to tell me you're backing out on me?" he asked in a curiously flat voice.
Leslie's eyes widened with surprise. For a minute there, if she hadn't known better, she might have believed there was actual pain in his voice. Could it really matter so much to him if she did back out? It wasn't as if he loved her.
And then, in a flash of illumination, she remembered why he had wanted to marry her in the first place.
Estelle, his old love, was returning, and Estelle had jilted him. Yes, now she understood the stiff anxiety that was carving deep lines across his face. He thought he was about to be stood up at the altar twice, and eve
n though he did not love her, his pride was involved. Her pride, too, had been involved in the matter over Joel Maddox, and it still hurt whenever she thought about it. In that moment she knew that, no matter what doubts she had, she was not going to let Rod down.
She shook her head and involuntarily her hand went out to touch his arm. "No, Rod," she said firmly, "I'm not backing out."
Rod visibly relaxed. "Fine," he said, with the slightest beginnings of a smile. "Fine." His arms went around her and he pulled her close to his hard, lean frame. "In that case, I think we ought to carry on with the sort of activity we're supposed to be in here carrying on anyway. We'll put across our act much more convincingly if, when we return to the living room, you look at though you've been thoroughly kissed!"
Leslie's brown eyes sparkled in response to the teasing light in his. "But we're only friends," she protested.
"Yes, but then we're very good friends," Rod told her with a husky catch in his voice just before his lips claimed hers.
They were married a week later in a formal but simple church ceremony. It was a lovely clear day in early fall, and when Leslie looked out her bedroom window that morning, she had felt a little thrill of gladness and hope. Surely such a bright and beautiful day as this for her wedding was a good omen.
At noon she was dressed in the long, flowing cream-colored gown, exquisitely simple beneath the fragile Irish lace veil that had been handed down from her grandmother. As Leslie's only attendant, Patsy was beautiful in her own right in her jade green dress with her hair falling in flaming cascades down her shoulders, and Leslie studied her fondly. "I'm going to miss you."
"Not half as much as I'll miss you," Patsy answered. The doorbell rang and she said quietly, "That must be your dad." She gave Leslie a quick hug. "You know," she added huskily, "this place is yours if you ever want to come back." Then she crossed the room to open the door.
The church was filled with guests, but from the moment Leslie started down the aisle on her father's arm she looked only at Rod. He stood pale and still and so far away, and his gaze never once wavered from hers as she went slowly toward him. This is it, she told herself. She felt all shaky and quivering inside now that the actual moment was here, and if she had not had Rod's steady eyes to encourage her, she knew she could never have made it down that long aisle.
Shadow of Love Page 5