by Rose, Ashley
He gestured to the magazine she was holding, titled Pregnancy and Newborn.
“Oh, no…I just picked it up, I—”
He laughed. “I was kidding.”
“Oh.”
“I’m Miles.” He stuck out his hand, and she looked at it for a moment before shaking it. He was attractive, with short, spiky dark hair and beautiful green eyes. Attractive boys usually didn’t talk to her. In fact, no boys ever really talked to her.
“Hi, I’m Lily,” she said cautiously, her heart racing.
He nodded approvingly. “Pretty name.”
“Er…thanks.” Her brain was still looking for proper behavior to display when in a waiting room.
“I haven’t seen you here before. Is this your first time visiting?”
“No.”
He seemed to be waiting for something, but she didn’t know what. “Well…if I’ve never seen you before and if this isn’t your first time here…”
She blinked.
“Okay, well, what are you here for?”
“To speak to a therapist?” Was that a trick question?
Miles laughed shortly. “All right, be that way. People in therapists’ waiting rooms are usually more open.”
“Sorry.” She checked her watch. “I better go in now.”
He looked around. “But they haven’t called your name.”
“Oh. I’m not a walk-in.”
He looked confused, but she left the waiting room and went back to her therapist’s office.
“Good afternoon, Lily.” Dr. Chase greeted her in the same way that the doctor had. This was pretty typical and made Lily more comfortable. Uniformity was good.
“Hello.”
* * *
After her session, Lily felt exhausted. She always did after therapy sessions. All of the talking and thinking overwhelmed her. The therapist was trying to teach her how to keep within society norms, without analyzing everything like she did now. It took a lot of effort for her to figure things out without mentally opening her textbooks and searching for the answer. Dr. Chase was trying to show her how to rely more on feelings than what she had studied. According to the therapist, when a healthy brain learned things, it could take the information and store it, and then seamlessly put that knowledge into action into everyday life. Instead of having to remind herself how to have a proper conversation, she should be able to simply have the conversation and be confident that what she was saying was all right. Lily’s brain didn’t do this process correctly, which is why she was still having problems functioning ‘normally’ with others.
She was still a little out of it when she left the building, wanting to go back to her room and take a nap.
“Lily!”
She glanced back. The boy, Miles, had been leaning against the building, smoking. He put out his cigarette and dropped it in the ash tray.
“Hey.” He caught up and started walking with her. “You were in there for a while.”
“Were you waiting for me?”
He shrugged. “I was in and out of my session before you were out, and then I had a cigarette, so no.”
“Okay.” She had no idea how to handle this situation, wasn’t sure if he was being inappropriate or not. The new techniques her therapists were teaching her weren’t helping.
“I’m sorry, I know this is weird. I just I feel like I want to get to know you,” he said, raking one hand through his dark hair.
She looked at him oddly. “Oh...why?”
He looked taken aback. “Well, I don’t know. I just do.”
“But you met me in a therapy office.”
“So? I was in therapy too, obviously.”
“Yeah, but…”
“Are you going somewhere? Do you have time for to grab something to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Coffee?”
“I can’t.” She shook her head. “I can’t drink coffee.”
“Why not?”
She looked at him.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been turned down before, but I’ve never heard a college student say that they don’t drink coffee. How do you make it through finals?”
“I didn’t say that I don’t. I said that I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I—” She stopped. Why should she have to tell him about personal things?
“Tell you what. You can tell me about it over a cup of decaf. On me.” He waved his meal card at her, indicating that he also lived on campus.
“I was headed back to my dorm.”
“Coffee place is closer,” he said.
That was true. They were walking by the building that housed all of the food and coffee stands. It wasn’t like they were going somewhere off campus. It was just right inside the door, with lots of people around.
“Okay.”
He beamed at her and opened the door for her.
“Thanks.”
They went to the coffee stand together, and he ordered some complicated-sounding drink while she got an Italian soda. He didn’t speak as they waited for their drinks, but did look pleased with himself. They sat down together at one of the tall tables near the corner.
“I’m sorry if this is weird,” he said, pulling the lid off of his coffee and stirring it with his straw. “I don’t usually do this, I just…I don’t know, had the urge to talk with you.”
“Why?”
“I want to get to know you.”
“But… why?”
He shrugged. “Wish I knew.”
“You seem weird to me,” she said honestly.
He smiled lightly and continued stirring his drink. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”
They were silent for a moment.
“Why were you going to a therapist?” she asked, deciding to turn the tables. How would he feel if she asked lots of inappropriate questions of him?
“Grief counseling.”
“Oh?” She immediately felt bad for prying.
“My brother passed a few weeks ago.”
“Weeks?”
He nodded.
“I’m sorry.” The mere thought of losing her brother made her slightly nauseous. Beck was the most important person in her life. The only person in her life, really.
“It’s all right.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without my brother. He holds my world together.”
Miles nodded and put the lid back on his coffee. “You have regular meetings with your therapist?”
“How did you know?”
“You had a scheduled appointment. I guessed.”
“Oh, well, yeah…I meet with her once a week.”
“You seemed kind of sad when you got done.” He finally took a sip of his coffee.
“Aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I guess I am. But you don’t go for grief counseling.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Do you mind if I ask what you do go for?”
She just smiled a little and looked down at her drink. She knew this was an acceptable signal that she wasn’t comfortable talking about it.
“Right. Okay…mind if I ask why you can’t drink caffeine?”
She figured that question was harmless. “My brain can’t handle caffeine’s psychoactive effects.”
“Oh yeah? Man, I couldn’t live without coffee. It really helps my headaches.”
“You get headaches?”
He nodded. “Yep.”
“Why?” She was suddenly interested.
Miles shrugged. “I don’t know. They started after my brother died. My therapist says it’s normal.”
Lily had no idea why she was sitting there with this guy, sharing stories, but for some reason, it didn’t feel weird. Since her therapist was always telling her to go with what she felt instead of analyzing it, she figured it was ok. “I get headaches too,” she confided.
His eyes widened. “Really?”
“Migraines.”
“Oh, mine aren’t that bad. Why do you get them
?”
She shrugged. “Always have, I guess, but they’ve gotten worse since I’ve been here.”
“Ahh, I’m sorry.”
She nodded slowly. “So how long have you been seeing a therapist?”
“Today was my fourth visit. You?”
“A long time. But I just started visiting this one at the beginning of the school year.”
He nodded.
“I’m sorry I’m not as open as you.”
“It’s all right. That’s probably a good thing. Besides, I dragged you here.”
He wasn’t trying to pry anything out of her. That was a good thing, right?
Her cell phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out, glad to see her brother’s name on the caller ID. “I’m sorry, I have to take this.”
He smiled reassuringly. “No problem. I’ve probably taken up enough of your time today.” He stood up. “It was nice to meet you. Maybe I’ll see you around?”
She nodded, not sure what to say.
He waved and headed further into the building. She grabbed her Italian soda and went outside to answer the call on her way back to her dorm.
“Beck.”
“Hey, sis, how are you?”
“Good, I just got out of my therapy session.” Her brother’s voice immediately made her feel better. She’d missed him.
“How did it go?”
“Good.” She thought about Miles momentarily. “It was interesting.”
“Awesome, how are the headaches? Did your doctor have any ideas?”
“No, but he did have some suggestions to help me sleep.”
“Medication?”He sounded wary.
“No. Well, he mentioned it but he gave me some other ideas too.”
“I hope they work out. How is everything else? Classes and such, roommates?”
She bit her lip. She didn’t want to tell him she had no friends and everyone thought she was a freak. “Classes are good. Some are hard to focus on, but if I have any issues the Disability Support Services helps me out with recorded lectures and things like that. The room is good, and my roommates are all pretty normal.”
Her brother paused before he answered, but she wasn’t good enough at reading him yet to figure what that meant.”Well, Carmondy and I are gonna be visiting in a few days, remember?”
“Oh, right.” Why hadn’t she remembered that on the schedule? “Yeah.”
“We’ll just be up for the day—kids’ basketball day camp.”
“Cool.” She tried to sound enthusiastic but knew she failed. She was excited to see her brother and his girlfriend, but she didn’t want them to know she had been labeled a freak.
4
Jaz
Jaz was horny, and she had no idea why. She flipped through her sketchbook, looking at some older sketches she’d made. This book was almost full. In a few more days, she’d need to break out a new one. Normally she was content flipping through the multitude of her old sketches, but not tonight.
She craved some action, not just some quick sex. She wanted to actually spend some time with a guy or two. God, if only she could find two guys who’d be down for a threesome.
Just as she was thinking about heading for the closest boy she knew, her phone rang. Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman played. That ringtone only belonged to one person.
She scrambled for her phone with a grin on her face. “Travis.”
“Hey, babe.”His voice was low and sexy, as usual.”You busy?”
“Nope.”
“Wanna come over?”
“Definitely.” She sounded more eager than she meant to. She didn’t like to seem desperate.
There was a slight pause before his response. “Hmm, sounds like someone needs a good working over.”
She smiled. “Yes.”
“Well, come on over. I’ll see what I can do about that.”
“Be there in ten.”
He hung up, and she checked the mirror quickly. Travis was a regular for a reason. She didn’t sleep with many guys more than once. They had to be damn good. And Travis...he was something. She always ended up staying the night simply because she was too tired to walk back to her dorm afterwards. Travis didn’t mind since she always cooked him something in the morning, followed by some pre-departure morning sex. Travis also had some of the same ideals—he slept around and didn’t care what people thought of him.
She got dressed quickly and didn’t bother with sexy lingerie. Trav didn’t care about that type of thing.
He lived in a studio apartment on campus. They were nice rooms and she wanted to live there next year when she could move out of the dorms. He answered the door with a smile.
He was dressed as casually as she was, in a white T-shirt, blue jeans and bare feet. His light brown hair was slightly mussed and his blue eyes sparkled as he let her in.
She loved the openness of the apartment. The living area was on one side, with hardwood floors, while the carpeted area held a double bed and a couch. The small kitchen boasted shiny tiles and nice appliances. There were only two doors in the apartment, one for a closet and one that opened into a bathroom. Travis was a decent decorator for a college student. No sports posters, though he was a Suns fan, and no swimsuit models, either. Simple and clean.
“How’re the boys in your dorm treatin’ ya?” he asked.
She followed him to his bed, where he removed his T-shirt. Right down to business as usual. “Are you asking about my sex life?”
He shrugged and sat down on the edge of his bed. “Just curious as to how much more I satisfy you than those little boys.”
“You’re only a year older than me and most of the guys I sleep with.”
He shrugged. “Still.”
“There’s one.”
“One what?”
“One guy who really knows what he’s doing.” She ran her fingers across the top of his dresser, looking at the pictures of him and his friends.
“Does he make you scream like I do?”
She eyed him. He was so confident about it. He knew how good he was at sex. “I try to keep my screaming to a minimum when I’m in a dorm.”
“So that’s a no?”
“Why so curious?” She peered at him sideways.
He shrugged. “You gonna give me a show or what?”
“You want a show?” He sometimes enjoyed watching her touch herself.
He thought about it for a moment. “Maybe later. Let’s just get to business, shall we?”
“Sounds good to me.”
Her fingers were practiced at undoing the button and ripping down the zipper of his jeans. He was naked in seconds. She let her hands trail down his hips and legs, keeping eye contact with him the whole time. He lay back on the bed, his body looking incredibly inviting, especially the erection jutting from his hips. She excitedly crawled on top of him, cool with being on top.
But before she got to enjoy it, Travis flipped both of them over and slammed home.
Jaz arched her spine tightly as he set a familiar pace. Her fingers momentarily dug into his biceps as her body quickly became reacquainted with the feel of him.
With a satisfied sigh, she reached up to run both hands through his hair. With other guys, she could handle the pleasure enough to contribute. But with Travis, she had to really focus to be able to give something back.
It took her a couple of minutes, but she managed to begin matching his thrusts. The only way she could tell that it did something for him was the tightening of his fingers around her wrists. His face remained the same.
She lifted her knees so she could shove her hips harder against his on each downward thrust and then it was like a competition, who could fuck the other person harder.
She met his eyes while they pounded against each other, the slick sounds of sex filling her ears and his scent close to overpowering.
They seemed to go on for hours, his pace never faltering, though she knew it was less than fifteen minutes before she orgasmed, leaving nail marks o
n his back.
He rolled off of her and dropped onto his back beside her. “Fuck.”
She sighed in contentment and waited for the pulsing sensation between her legs to go away.
“Mmmm.” She rolled to face him. “What was that?”
He laughed weakly. “What do you mean?”
“You didn’t even kiss me,” she teased.
“Awww.” He pulled her on top of him so they were chest to chest. “I’m sorry.”
He kissed her neck languidly, working his way up her throat. “We just had to get that out of the way. We’ll do it again, slower. After a little break, m’kay?”
She moaned softly when he lifted his knees and parted her legs with his thigh. “That’s all right, I guess.”
He grinned up at her until she dropped her lips to his and their tongues met like old friends. His arms settled around her comfortably. One hand rested low on an ass cheek, stroking back and forth across her flesh.
She pulled her lips away after several minutes. “I thought you said we were going to take a break.”
“This is a break.”
She pushed her hair to one side and smiled. “Ahh, okay. Are we even going to get out of bed?”
“Not if I can help it.” He pulled her legs apart to straddle his hips.
She laughed and squirmed on top of him.
A knock on the door interrupted their play. They paused, and he waited to see if the knock would sound again.
It did.
“Damn it,” he muttered.
Jaz slid off of him and he stood up, holding a sheet around his hips.
He opened the door after the third knock, but only enough for the person to see him, not into the room.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” Travis asked.
“Dude. Basketball tonight,” a male voice answered.
Travis groaned. “I told you, not at my place.”
“I thought you were kidding,” the voice said. “I brought beer.”
“Sorry, man, I got company.”
A moment of silence. “Ahh, female company?”
“I’m naked, aren’t I?”
“Bros before hos.”
“I told you we couldn’t watch basketball at my place tonight.”
“I walked all the way over here.”
Travis laughed. “You live three doors down.”
“Fine, I’ll tell the guys to come to my room.” He sounded slightly irritated. “Send the bitch home and come over.”