by Rose, Ashley
He nodded.
“I can’t. I can’t.” She repeated herself for no reason other than the fact that she couldn’t stomach the thought of being on stage alone.
“Yes, you can,” he said in a pleading tone. “You are such a talented dancer.”
“This wasn’t part of the deal.”
“It is now.”
She was silent. She couldn’t be on stage alone.
“I need you to do this, Lorna. I need you to at least try.”
“Nash...”
“You’ll be able to design it yourself. It’s not the sexy, provocative dancing. It’s anything you want, a chance to really show off your skills. You said you wanted to be considered a real dancer. Well, this will do it, Lorna, I promise.”
She took a deep breath. “I’ll design it and prepare it. I’ll give you that. But I want the choice to back out of the opening if I want. I can’t be trapped into doing it. I can’t.”
Nash nodded. “All right. That’s a start.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Anything you want. Any style, whatever stunts you want. I just want it to be really raw, beautiful and powerful.”
“I don’t know if I can be those things.”
“Lorna.” Nash met her eyes. “You are those things.”
She exhaled and looked up at the ceiling. “Can I pick the music?”
“Yep. Whatever you want.”
“I’m going to need to work on this.”
“I know. And I’m prepared to spend any time here that you need me. I can be your eyes, a spotter, anything.”
She nodded. “Okay...yeah. I’ll do it.”
“Awesome. I really appreciate you trying. I know it’s not what you signed up for. But, speaking from experience, once you design a piece, and it’s good, you’ll fall in love with it. By the time we’re done, you’re going to be itching to perform it.”
“We’ll see.”
“So let’s get started?”
She nodded and went to her bag to get her own music. She grabbed the CD that she wanted and pulled out the little boom box.
“We’ve got the sound system.”
“I need this. I can’t create without my process.”
“Oh. All right.”
She put the CD in and switched it to track seven before cranking the little speakers up. “Can you turn the lights off?”
“Sure.” The light through the windows did a decent job of illuminating the room once the fluorescents were off.
“Where do you need me?” he asked.
“Nowhere,” she said, moving to the pole. “Just watch and when I’m done tell me which parts you liked.”
He nodded and sat across from her, against the wall of mirrors. “Got it.”
She listened to the music blaring from the crappy speakers and closed her eyes. Feel the music.
Without looking, she leapt and used her momentum to swing her around the pole into a graceful curve. With a powerful yet elegant sweep of one leg, she brought her body upside down. She scissored her legs straight up into the air, and then lowered them parallel to the floor as she bent at the waist.
Her arms shook with the strain but she ignored it as she wrapped one leg around the pole and let go with both hands. Arms out, back arched as far as it would go, she looked at the floor and focused on the music.
Instead of a typical dismount from the pole, she just let go with her leg and somersaulted into a prone position. She gave it just enough time for Nash to start to stand up with alarm and then she kicked her legs back up and over her head, reverse somersaulting back against the pole.
Nash sat back and watched, looking awed.
She moved with the music, flowing in a tight circle around the pole. Her whole body moved at the same time, but in different directions. Her feet glided easily across the hardwood. She hoisted herself onto the pole again, and then her soles got air as they spun around, tightly pointed the entire time.
Then it was her knees, bending and straightening, supporting her weight or kicking into the air. She could feel the strength in them that came with years of dancing. They never failed her even as she jumped again and again, legs kicking in a different direction each time.
Lorna did a series of mounts and dismounts on the pole, backwards or upside down. She did a set of twirls, legs swings on her hips, taking her in circles around the pole until she was on the ground. Sliding and rolling into a handstand, she levered herself back onto the pole, only to leap off again. Her leg kicked high into the air, in a straight line toward the ceiling while she threw her head back.
She let the music flow through her, guiding her movements until she played out the notes with her arms and legs. As she kicked, turned and coiled around the pole, she forgot that Nash was there. She forgot that there were eyes on her at all.
As the song came to an end, she did a layout on the pole, her body parallel with the floor. The music quieted, and she jackknifed her body for a reverse dismount, flinging her legs out and using the momentum to carry her body to the floor into a modified warrior pose.
A new song brought her out of her trance, pulling her back into reality and Nash’s presence. He hadn’t said anything, and she turned slowly to look at him. He just stared at her silently.
“I can do better.” She pulled down the shorts that had ridden up. “I can do some research, get some new moves or—”
“That was so perfect.”
She blinked.
He stood up and came toward her. “Show me that one move again. Where you were all like, bent backwards.”
“The hook?” she asked doubtfully, but he looked like he really wanted to see it. “Okay.” She reverse mounted the pole to get into the right position and arched her body backwards all the way through her toes. Looking down at the floor, she didn’t see Nash reach out, so his fingers on her stomach startled her.
“Sorry,” he said when she lost the pose, but he didn’t remove his hand. Instead, he added another and curved them around her waist. They were warm and firm against her skin.
“What about that spin, the one toward the beginning?”
She righted herself, and his hands slipped off. “The one with my legs bent?”
“Yeah. You were like...flying.”
She smiled and looked down at his hands, wishing they’d touch her again. “Um. It’s called the showgirl.”
“I liked it.”
She stepped back, the pole between her shoulder blades. “It’s actually a pretty easy one.”
He nodded and looked down. At first, she thought he was looking at her chest but then she realized his eyes were unfocused, like he was thinking. His hand came up again, and then the other and he put his palms on either side of her ribcage.
She gulped as her heart started racing.
But he stepped closer, his hand coming up from her waist to hold her chin. She should have pulled away when he lowered his head to hers, but she didn’t want to. Instead, she turned her face up to his and met his lips in the lightest of kisses, barely a brush of lips. They both hesitated, faces less than an inch apart. For once in her life, Lorna took the initiative and moved first. His lips were warm under hers, and they parted at the light touch.
His hand slipped to the back of her head, and his lips pressed closer.
“Lorna!”
They jerked apart at Shep’s voice, Nash stumbling back and almost landing on his ass. Lorna wiped at her mouth while Nash touched his lips.
“Did I just see what I think I saw?” Shep asked, walking toward them slowly.
“No,” Nash said simply, standing a few feet away and looking very casual.
Shep assessed them for a few more moment before shrugging. “Fine. Don’t tell me. Just keep it in your pants,” he said pointedly to Nash, who rolled his eyes. Shep smiled as he came to her side. “Did you get my note?”
She giggled. “I did.”
“Thanks for an amazing night.” He leaned forward and pressed a playful kiss t
o her forehead.
She reached up and hovered her fingertips over his cheek bone. “You look a lot better.”
He nodded. “Ice and anti-inflammatory meds.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Nash asked in a demanding tone.
“Oh nothing. Just fell into a doorknob,” Shep said dismissively.
“You were at her place?” Nash countered.
“I spent the night.”
Nash’s eyes narrowed. “You get on me for nothing, and you’re spending the night with her?”
Shep and Lorna exchanges looks. “Umm, Nash? I think you’re forgetting something important,” Shep said, stepping toward his friend slowly. “Gay, remember?”
“He just needed a place to crash, and he looked like he was in pain. I couldn’t turn him away,” Lorna hurried to explain.
Nash blinked and seemed to snap out of his jealous stupor. “Wait. Someone beat you up?”
Shep shrugged. “They didn’t really go that far. Just knocked me around a bit, I guess.”
“Who?” Nash asked sharply.
“None of your business, Nasher.” Shep patted his friend’s shoulder and shot Lorna a look. “Now let’s practice.” He turned and went toward the stereo, turning off Lorna’s boom box as he went.
“Shep...” Nash said, persisting. “Sheppard.”
Shep flinched at his full name and turned back to them. “I said it’s none of your business, okay? Drop it. Or I’ll start prying into what you two were doing before I came in. And you don’t want to go there.”
She looked at Nash, who didn’t look happy with the ultimatum. She wasn’t too worried about what Shep knew. She was more interested in what exactly had just happened between her and Nash. She licked her lips, but then Nash’s green eyes swung to hers, and she took a step back. His eyes were fixed on her lips, looking at them hungrily. She suddenly wondered if she was looking at him the same way...
* * *
The next day, Lorna still hadn’t found the opportunity to talk to Nash about the kiss. Not that she wanted to, or had the nerve to, but he was so busy with the piece that she couldn’t get him alone. She did her best to focus on Gabby’s instructions, and she eventually got the steps perfected. She felt a rush of satisfaction as the steps came as naturally to her as they did with the other dancers. She felt like one of them now, even though she was performing separately.
As she was packing up her bag for the day, Shep and Nash were talking to a few lingering dancers. But as she was leaving, duffel on her shoulder, Nash called her name.
“Lorna!”
She turned back.
“Can you hang around for a bit?”
Shep checked his watch. “Nash, I got class.”
“I know,” Nash said, without looking at him. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll take just a second.”
“Oh. Sure. I’ve got some time.” She took her duffel off her shoulder.
Shep and Nash were whispering heatedly when she brought her attention up again. Finally, Shep gave up whatever point he was trying to argue and headed for the door. “Fine. As long as you come up with a finished product and don’t screw around too much. I want a demo before the next practice.” He gave Nash a pointed look. “Remember what I said.”
“Yeah, yeah. Get lost.”
Shep disappeared out the door, leaving the two of them alone again.
“There’s not any kind of problem is there?” she asked.
“Nope.”
“So are we going to talk at all about...?” She made some gestures with her hands but he was either playing dumb or wasn’t getting the hint.
“What?”
“What Shep walked in on yesterday.”
Nash suddenly got busy disconnecting the stereo. “Yeah? What about it?”
“Is it going to happen again?”
He looked at her. “Do you want it to?”
She didn’t have an answer. Well, she did, but not one she wanted to share. “No need to complicate things, right?”
“Cool. I just wanted to see if you were able to meet an hour early tomorrow? At the theater department?”
“Why?”
“Get you fitted for the outfit they made for Gabby and I need to talk to them about installing the pole.”
“Outfit?”
“Yeah.” He looked at her. “For the performance. You didn’t think it’d be in those little shorts, did you?”
“Wait, why did you tell Shep we were rehearsing?”
“Because he would want to go to the fitting because he’s a perfectionist and it would take forever.”
“Oh.”
“See you tomorrow then?” he asked, opening the door for her.
“Um. Yeah. Bye.”
19
Jaz
Jaz had turned up dry at the two previous Snickers sighting locations, so she gave up and went into the student building with the hope of getting lucky again. She sat on an upper level, looking out over the area clustered with tables and chairs outside the campus eatery, sketching caricatures of a group of nerds clustered around one table.
She smiled to herself as she gave one of them a huge chin and long face, while another got big coke bottle glasses and buck teeth. She had to take off her Ray-Bans to see properly inside, so she took extra care in keeping her head down and used her hair to cover her face instead.
As she looked up to get a view of the nerds again, she froze.
Snickers walked by her table and into the store she was sitting beside. A quick glance told her that he was Snickers-less. Keeping her head down, she peered out from under her hair as he found what he wanted and headed straight for the counter. She sucked in a breath. He was so close, but he was half turned away as he paid for the purchase. A Snickers bar, of course. She noticed his hands shook a little as he passed the money to the guy behind the counter, and again when he took the candy bar from him.
As he left the little store area, he didn’t shove the Snickers into his pocket as she expected him to. Instead he kept it in his hand, clutching it tightly, almost as if he was afraid he’d lose it. Once he was a good distance away, she stood and slid the sketch pad off the table. She tailed him again, feeling more and more like a stalker. She kept a safe distance and put her shades on long before they’d reached the doors.
He kept the candy bar in his hand as he walked purposefully in a different direction than she’d gone with him before. Oddly, he made a beeline for the small on-campus health clinic. She hung back as he went in through the doors and positioned herself on an inconspicuous bench, partially blocked by a tree and some parked cars.
Figuring she didn’t have anything important to do, she opened her book and began sketching the front of the building. Older architecture, mostly brick. The wood archway looked weathered. She stuck her tongue between her teeth as she carefully added detail to the wood, giving it the right effect.
In the corner of the drawing, she drew a little Snickers bar. She was only about halfway through the mini replica when the boy exited the clinic. He’d only been in there for about ten minutes and still had that Snickers in his palm. It had to be melting by now.
He headed back the way he came, slower this time, and she followed at a more-than-safe distance. He stopped eventually, in the shade of a building in a secluded area. Jaz stepped into a telephone booth and pretended to make a phone call. But instead, she watched him through the dirty glass. He stared at the Snickers bar in his hand as if it held the answer to some important question.
After a few moments, he took out his phone and made a call. She strained her ears to hear his voice over the sound of others walking by the booth.
He said something that sounded like a greeting, but she didn’t catch the name or the first part. Leaning a bit out of the booth, Jaz listened harder.
“Yeah, I was just there. You should have the results soon.” His voice was hoarse and deep like before. “No, I’m clean... Yes sir... Good, I’m keeping my grades up... No... I’m fine, no cravin
gs.” He stared down at the Snickers bar. “Yes sir, I will.”
The call ended and Snickers took a few moments before slowly sitting down, leaning his head back against the building. His breathing gradually turned ragged, and his fingers shook again as he ripped open the Snickers and took a big bite.
Jaz got the absurd notion that he might be addicted to the candy bars, though he looked trim, even with the jacket he seemed to wear all the time. The boy finished off the Snickers and pocketed the wrapper. Then, after a few more minutes, he stood up, brushed off his dark jeans and started walking again. Jaz shadowed him again, still not sure why she was following him at all.
He went back into the student building and bought another Snickers, pocketing this one right away. It was as if he could never be without a Snickers.
He headed for the doors but then paused. She froze also, pretending to be very interested in the bulletin board she happened to be standing beside. When he continued toward the door, she breathed a sigh of relief.
As his back disappeared into the crowd of students, she knew she should stop following him. But despite that, she hurried outside in time to see him disappear into the Japanese garden again. A voice in her head told her not to go in there again—she’d lost him last time—but she pushed her Ray-Bans on and strolled that way anyway. Inside, she was uneasy at how empty it was, just like the first time. It wasn’t quiet though, not with the birds chirping and all the traffic outside the walls. Ambling slowly, as if she was on a walk, but keeping her eyes peeled for him. She got about halfway through, but he was nowhere to be found again.
She looked over her shoulder, scanning the area she’d just passed. She wasn’t going to lose him again. She turned back around and nearly jumped out of her skin.
There he was, standing in the middle of a path a few yards away, looking right at her. “I don’t know who you are or why you’re doing it, but stop following me.” He turned to go and then said over his shoulder, not bothering to glance back. “Please.”
She was speechless as he walked away. He’d known? For how long? She swallowed and raced out of the garden, but he was nowhere to be seen, which was not surprising since the sidewalks were teeming with students. Well, shit.