by L. C White
My hands grab and knead his neck as he pushes up a little so he can enter me. I moan with him as our bodies become connected, locked together as one, like we should never be apart. My legs and arms are coiled around him, and I don’t ever want this feeling to end.
He moves deeply in and out with slow lunges, and a tear forms on my eyelash. Not unhappiness, but passion and love. All those years away from him are beginning to come undone.
He lies his hand on my face, sensing the emotion as he makes love to me.
“You.” He laces my neck with a faint kiss. “Okay?”
“Yes,” I say in a breath, my fingernails scraping into his back, as I begin to move and push against him.
“I love you, Amber,” he says in a deep raspy tone, his pace becoming deeper.
I reach up and hold his cheekbones as his head lands on mine. “I… I love you.”
His eyes are focused on mine as the pleasure takes us both. I bite my lip as his sensual plunges quicken and ignite my body. I moan as he breathes heavy, my ankles crossed and toes cramping up over his back. He’s beginning to sweat, and like we are in harmony, our damp sex throbs and gushes. We both press even harder into each other.
I’m falling apart, my hips tremoring as my love explodes with his. Our lips rotate, feeling every nerve in our bodies sparking with each other.
“Dwayne,” I squeal a little as he nips my neck, giving me one final push.
His head drops into the curve of my neck. We both breathe in and out to steady our buzzing bodies. He pushes up to gaze down into my eyes. This moment I will never forget. The most pure thing I have ever had. This was my first time. Some may think I’m a whore, and treat me like a whore. But with Dwayne, I’m just a normal girl. I’m the teenager who fell in love with him, and none of the bad stuff happened.
He elevates up over me, gazing with a slim loving gaze. That hush once more takes us both, only to be broken by the soft sound of him brushing his lips over mine, as he draws out to lie beside me. I shuffle onto my side in the fetal position to face him. The sun shines on his strong cheekbones as he moves even closer, smiling while threading my hair behind my ear.
“So,” he says in a breath.
I grin back, feeling the blush coat my face. “So.”
“You feel alright about what we just did?”
No man has ever asked me if I feel okay. It’s strange and I don’t really know what to say. This is the first time I have laid in a bed with a man who’s concerned about how I feel.
“I regret it you know,” he says, so close his warm breath drifts across my face.
“Regret what?”
His hand brushes over my shoulder to come and rest on my waist. “I regret not being with you. It would have been wrong, but I know we’d have worked it out. The only reason I stayed in that house for so long, was you.”
I close my eyes as a cruel darkness sinks my heart. He wants to erase the past, pick up where he left, and become normal lovers. But it’s a past that for me, cannot be erased. It’s made me what I am. I don’t trust; I only do as I’m ordered. I can’t allow happiness in, as it will always be tainted and taken away. I can’t forget the things I’ve done, brush them aside, and move on. I’m an addict. I’m owned. I’m right there in the depths of society. A black hole that is inescapable. I do love Dwayne, but I can never be a woman that is good for him. And him bringing this up now, has engulfed the feelings from what we just did.
“What is it Amber?” He shuffles up, leaning against his elbow.
“I can’t think about the future,” I whisper, looking up into his eyes.
“I know that.”
“I’m sorry Dwayne.”
“For?”
“Giving you hope, when there is none.”
He shakes his head at me as his nostrils flare out a breath. “There’s always hope.”
“Right now, here with you, yes. But nothing lasts forever.”
He drops down onto the bed and winds his arms around my body, pulling me up so my head lies on his warm chest.
“You need to understand how special you are,” he says in a low tone, stroking the roots of my hair. “You may think you can’t break out of that dark tunnel. But if I’m behind you, kicking your ass, you’ll make it. So we’ll just take this day, and then maybe tomorrow.” He kisses the top of my head. “Then who knows.”
Chapter Fourteen
Dwayne
Cabin fever is starting to take hold of me. It’s been over twenty-four hours since I put that guy’s image into the system, and still I have fuck all information wise. It’s been through the criminal database of San Francisco, San Diego, and now it’s going through Los Angeles. I don’t like sitting on my ass waiting to know where I stand. James Scott has again warned me to stay put until I have a plan. The only thing I have got so far, is information on the girl’s body. Tuesday. She was arrested eighteen months ago at the young age of sixteen for soliciting, then disappeared off the radar. She has no immediate family, and her real name is, Zoe Harrington. Like Amber, she was fished off the street and caught up in Trent’s sick network. She was at that house the night I took Amber, and I think she has been sent as a message. A warning.
I lie my Glock 22 on the kitchen table as Amber comes out of the bedroom with a towel wrapped around her hair. She still doesn’t know about Tuesday, and I have no intention of telling her. I don’t know how close she was to this girl, and if I tell her, god knows how she’ll react. I have her back, and I’m not letting her out of my goddamn sight.
“You ever killed anyone?” she asks, casually.
I smirk lightly. “Yes.”
“How many?”
“Really?” My brow rises.
“Just curious.”
“Amber, war happens. Sometimes there’s no choice. It’s kill or be killed.”
“Survival?”
“Yeah.”
I look up at her as she goes into a kind of trance. She’s had no choice but to survive most of her life. If only she had a gun every time Trent laid his dirty fuckin fingers on her, she might have felt stronger. Strong enough to shoot his balls off anyhow.
I push out my chair as I stand, taking the gun off the table to slide in a 40 load cartridge.
“Meet me outside in five,” I say as she pulls the towel off her wet hair.
“Why?”
“You’ll see.” I make my way to the door.
The sun burns the back of my neck as I bend down to take several pieces of fire wood from the store. I make my way over to an old stone pillar that’s supposed to be used for fencing around the cabin, and set a piece of firewood on the top. I turn back to see Amber standing there, her wet hair poker straight, blowing in the gentle summer breeze.
“Come a little closer,” I call out to her, waving my gun.
Frowning at me she take several steps. “Are you going to show-off your shooting skills?”
“No, you are.” I make my way to her back, breathing in her sweet clean scent.
I bring my arms around her body, placing the handle of the gun in her hands.
“Solid grip,” I state, making sure my hands are around hers, so she doesn’t accidently fire. “Your grip has to be firm and confident.”
“I don’t feel very confident,” she utters nervously.
I smile, pushing my body into her back. “Keep your finger off the trigger for a second.”
I step away from her body and move to her front. My eyes study her stance. It’s completely wrong, and if she fired, the kickback would send her flying on her ass. I’ve trained soldiers to hit their target, and it takes some practice to get the position right, just with barking orders. With Amber, I can use my hands. I can position her safely.
My fingers move down her hips as I crouch and bring out her right leg, so her body is almost side on, with feet shoulder-length apart.
“Back set straight,” I say, running my hands up to her hips as I stand.
“So, I just have to pull the trigger then?
” She gets a little gun happy and lifts up her arms.
“No,” I snap, taking hold of the barrel. “You can’t just shoot.”
She bites on her cheek as I make my way to her back again, wrap my arms around her body, and take the gun from her hands.
“Safety off, safety on.” I pull on the catch. “Never have the safety off, unless you are face to face with danger, and ready to discharge. So safety on, safety off.” I demonstrate again, then place the webbed handle back into her hands. “Before firing.” I bring up her arms into an aiming position. “You have to check for friendlies. You know, people you don’t want to kill. It comes with practice. Soon you automatically know every detail about where you are, and who you’re facing. You aim solely on the enemy. Got that?”
“Yeah, shoot the bad guy.”
I snort a silent laugh, using my forefinger to guide hers carefully onto the trigger.
“You aim using the very tip of the barrel.” I lift her arms a little higher. “Arms tense and shoulder steady.” I feel her arms tighten up. “You feel ready?”
“Hmm-hmm.”
I take my hands away from the gun, keeping hold of her shoulders.
“Safety off,” I order and she turns off the safety without hesitation. “The kickback has an impact; you’ll feel it in your shoulders. Now, strong stance and aim.” She brings up the gun into position as I make sure I’m close enough to take immediate action if she messes up. “Squeeze the trigger firmly when you’re ready.”
I take a breath, wondering if this was such a good idea, watching her finger tapping on the trigger.
“Do you want me to count down?” I ask, picking up on her nerves.
“No.” She fires the gun suddenly, her arms flying high with the kickback.
The shot echoes through the trees, missing the target entirely. I leap to her side and swipe the gun from her hand.
“Sorry.” Her face scrunches up.
I put the safety on and smile at her. “I think that’s enough target practice for one day.”
“I agree.”
She giggles, covering her mouth, but as her gaze hooks mine she silences fast. She starts to rock back and forth on her feet. Clearly she’s flirting with me; her eyes on mine, wordlessly asking me to take her to bed. I sniff up, studying my gun closely. Even though I’m just as eager to get her back into bed, I’m loving this playful side of her. I need to see just a little more before I give in.
“What shall we do now?” she asks, dropping sexual hints such as: scraping the toe of her pump over the dirt, moving nearer, sighing out a breath, all while I continue to fiddle with my gun.
“The cabin could do with a tidy,” I say nonchalantly.
She pauses for a second, offers me a sexy scowl, then in a huff turns to walk toward the cabin. As she storms away from me, I slide the gun down the back of my trousers and chase her. My arms grab her waist and she screeches. I spin and lift, so her ass is sitting on my forearms with her legs latched to my body. She belongs here, braced against me. She was made for me.
“You.” I brush my nose against hers. “Need to ask me something?”
Her forearms cross behind my neck as she hoists her head to the sky. Her eyes then gradually move down to mine. She’s biting her lip, anxiously.
“I feel like you’ve never been away,” she says.
“I know.” I lean my head and kiss her lips slow but brisk. “Is that a bad thing?” I ask as I pull back to watch her eyes.
“The truth is, I’m unsure. I’m trying. I’ve never spoken to a man the way I can talk to you, and I’m finding it strange.”
Of all the things to say, this sweet confession of hers is the most painful. Too many wasted years and tears. I should have been here for her.
“I’m not going anywhere, Amber.”
Her small soft hands take hold of my cheeks. She kisses me the way she did on that hallway when she was only fourteen. So gentle, slow, yet completely determined to make my pulse soar. This time they’ll be no walking away on my part, other than to take her to bed.
***
It’s now eighteen-zero hundred hours. I’m sitting in the truck with the satellite case on my lap, watching Amber’s shadow through the net curtains. She has no idea I’m out here playing detective. She thinks I’m checking the oil and water levels. She’s starting to come out of herself, and is beginning to ask questions. Which is fantastic, apart from me having to lie to her.
I type in the code words then dial through to Jimmy. Jimmy Logan is ex-navy seal. I’ve known him a few years. I interviewed and offered him the position with no hesitation, after he heard about the vacancy at Safe Hands from Commander Weathers. He couldn’t settle on Civvy Street. He’s never married, he’s built like a brick shithouse, and he’s a clever guy. Okay, he’s knocking on sixty, but he has years of service in him yet.
“Dwayne,” he answers. “Good to hear your voice.”
“You too Jimmy. What have you got for me?”
“A whole lot of trouble. The house is empty, up for sale, and the girls have been relocated. The only person I’ve laid eyes on is that maid. One Jenny Moore, who’s been meeting with the real-estate agent. No sign of Trent Moore,” he says in a worried tone. “I’ve checked on his penthouse too. Apparently, according to the caretaker, he’s on some golfing vacation with a business colleague,” he adds dubiously. “I had to call off my surveillance, Dwayne. The cops were sniffing around my car.”
“Fuck.” I close my eyes, hitting the back of my head on the headrest.
“I did however, stick a nice little tracking device on the maid’s car, just need time to work out a pattern. See where business has been moved.”
“Okay,” I mumble, pissed-off. “Good work Jimmy, but lie low for a while. I don’t need you getting in over your head. If they know they’re being watched, it’s only a matter of time before someone gets hurt.”
I hear him smirk. “I’ve been in over my head for years. I’ll make contact if anything else crops up. In the meantime, watch your back.”
“Okay. Speak soon, Jimmy.”
I hang-up and turn on the screen. James should be waiting, but he isn’t. I lift up the phone and dial the secure number. It rings for too long. I know right about now he’ll be on camp in Cyprus, and there’s an eight hour difference in time zone. But still he should take this call.
Finally he picks up.
“James, took your time,” I say.
“Yeah well, I’ve been busy. Look Dwayne, I’m still in the States. Had to get special leave from Commander Weathers. The Feds have been at my parent’s house, quizzing them about me. Some bullshit data assessment they said. They asked about my Staff Sergeant… you for fuck sake. I can’t fly out when all this shit is going on. That girl of yours must be pretty damn important.”
My eyes are on Amber’s shadow. She’s sitting at the kitchen table oblivious to what’s going on because I took her. Death, corruption, interrogation. Trent Moore has girls of all different caliber, and he wants my Amber. Thing is, I’m beginning to worry about how much influence he has. Can I keep Amber safe? If push comes to shove, can I get to him to rip his head off?
“Dwayne, you really need to get away from the cabin, because I don’t know how much information they got,” he warns.
I hit the steering wheel twice as my chest goes tight. It’s only when I see Amber’s shadow, I calm.
“Okay, James.” I blow out furiously.
“Look, find somewhere further afield and don’t even tell me where. Turn the tracking device off on the case too.”
“The worst case scenario eh?” I utter through the constriction in my neck. “Better not to know anything at all.”
“Something like that. Look after yourself, Dwayne.” He hangs-up on me.
I turn off the location indicator, and slam the lid down on the case.
I walk through the cabin door and lie the case on the small table beneath the window. Amber is staring at me, her expression blank with rosy che
eks. Her knee is bobbing beneath the table and I can tell she’s agitated.
“Amber?” My brow creases.
She lifts her hand to her face and starts to bite her fingernail. She’s going through withdrawals. She’s sweating, shaking, and looks ready to rage.
“I’m okay.” She sighs as her forehead pales. “Just tired I think.”
I knew it would happen eventually. The adrenalin of coming here and us sleeping together has masked it. Now she needs something that I will never give her. Drugs.
“We’re leaving in the morning,” I say.
Like an electrical vault has just ran through her body, she jumps up out of the chair with a fearful look in her eyes.
“Why, what’s going on?” she snaps at me.
“Nothing.” I look down briefly. “We’re just going to have to find somewhere else?”
“You’re keeping something from me.”
I cannot lie to her easily. She always could pick up on deceit. Now she has no drugs in her system, she’s going to analyze everything with an intense paranoia.
“Some things you’re better off not knowing.”
“And you have the power to decide for me.”
“Amber, you’re withdrawing. Go take a cool shower.”
“Does Trent know where we are?”
“Amber don’t do this when you’re not thinking straight.”
“Does he know where we are?” she yells.
“No… I don’t think so.” My jaw grinds down.
“You need to tell me what you know. Or I’m… I’m going to leave.”
“After what we did?” She’s breaking my goddamn heart here.
“Dwayne, please just tell me what’s going on. I know you’re making secret phone calls from that box of yours.”
“Leaving me isn’t an option now, unless you want to end up dead.” I didn’t intend on going this far, but she has to know she’s safer with me.
“Who’s died?” she asks in a squeal.