That Crazy Reality Show

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That Crazy Reality Show Page 10

by Natasha Kent


  Huh. “Well that’s my cue Buster. Lemme get back to the group.”

  “Hey Mike, when are ya gonna give it up already?” Yeah, he was drunk.

  I thought about it and said, “As soon as Matt asks.” I think I surprised myself, but then again I was drunk.

  “YES!” Buster hollered and several guys looked our way. I laughed and walked off to join the others.

  “What was that about,” Matt asked when I got back.

  “Oh, just Buster. He keeps thinking he’ll have a chance to nail me someday.” I have a tendency to be blunt, if you haven’t noticed. Matt just laughed.

  “By the way,” I said, “that question you asked me?” Now I had his attention.

  He nodded. I leaned in towards him and, putting my arm around his shoulders, said in a quieter voice: “The one that you asked if I’m gay.” I noticed that his breathing was a bit quicker. Or maybe it was the booze. “You said that it wouldn’t matter, right?” I was more talking into the side of his head; he faced the bar. He nodded. I wanted to say something coy like, ‘if I wasn’t before I am now that I’ve met you,’ but figured that was a dumb-ass line to lay on someone. Instead I got my lips right up to his neck. Now he was definitely breathing heavy. I said, “Matty, pal, the answer is….yes.” I stood back to watch his reaction. He took a deep breath and turned to face me. “Well, you got your answer,” I said, raising my eyebrows and grinning.

  Time stopped. Oh fuck fuck fucking fuck! Had I really told him? Apparently I did and it was ok, because he broke out into this amazing smile.

  But it was interrupted by the dj: “One more time everybody, welcome Mike Martin up to the stage.” I winked at him, again, and headed up to the stage.

  “Hi y’all doin’!” I hollered. I was greeted with whoops and hollers. “Y’all crazy bitches. Hey, I’ll bet that you’ve noticed that the group I’m here with has been followed around be a few cameras?” I pointed towards the bar, Matt was just still smiling like a little boy. “Well, we’re on some kind of television show, or we will be, where they put us in an apartment and tape us for the five weeks leading up to our ten-year high school reunion. Well y’all know how I like an audience.”

  At this they started “Mar-tin, Mar-tin, Martin”. I laughed; “Oh doggies, I tell you.”

  “Well,” I continued, “I decided that twenty seven years was long enough, and I called my folks and told them that I’m gay.” This really got a round of applause. For some reason gay guys are thrilled when other gay guys “come out.”

  “They said that they already knew,” which drew laughter from the bar. I looked over and I think that Eddie and Albert must’ve passed out. Matt still was smiling, ear to ear. “I asked them ‘how did you know’ and they said because my friends were girls and I liked Barbra Streisand.” More laughter from the crowd.

  “And so, this next song is a standard that she sang, and I’d like to sing it. It’s called Taking A Chance On Love.” When I said this I looked dead into Matt’s eyes.

  I’m not a huge fan of my own voice, especially when I sing a serious song, and I always have to focus on something, or someone. Guess who I focused on. Well, it wasn’t Buster!

  The music started medium and easy with strings:

  “Hear I go…again” at this point I’m nervous.

  “I hear those trumpets blow again

  All aglow again

  Taking a chance on love

  (building a bit vocally now)

  Here I come again,

  I’m gonna make things hum again

  Acting…dumb….again

  Taking a chance on love

  (building a bit more going into the bridge)

  I walk around with a horseshoe,

  In clover I lie.

  And brother rabbit, of course,

  You’d better kiss your feet….goodbye

  (building with a key change)

  All on the goal again

  I’m riding for a fall again

  I’m gonna give my all again!

  (really building)

  Takin’ a chance….(quieter now) on love.”

  All gay guys love Streisand so the applause was loud. And what is it about her anyhow? Oye, who knows. I was done singing for the night and I walked back to the bar.

  Eddie was the first to speak. “Mike, you’re gay?” Everyone laughed.

  Jessica said, “Uh, yeah Eddie, we sort of picked up on that when everyone in the bar seemed to know him.”

  “Wow,” he said.

  This time I laughed. “Don’t worry Eddie, I’ll kiss you before I nail you,” referring to when we first met in the guys’ bathroom in the studio. He picked up on it and had to laugh too.

  I felt a presence behind me and turned to see Matt standing there. God had made him so good looking. I wanted to kiss him then but I wasn’t that drunk. “Well, what’d you think?”

  He waited a moment, and then he put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Does everybody want to go back to the studio? I think I’ve had a really full evening.”

  Amanda said, “Are you sure you don’t just want Mike?” and she laughed hysterically.

  “Drunk spaz,” I said.

  “Nah, I’m kinda beat and I’m ready to hit the hay,” he said back. We paid our tab and headed out the door; Matt held it open for everyone and I was the last out. The others were a bit ahead of us so there was one cameraman on us.

  “You are a very brave man, Mike Martin,” he said. “Braver than I am.”

  “Nah, I bet you’re pretty brave.”

  He stopped walking and I turned to look at him. “I repeat, you’re braver than I am,” this time he said it a bit more exact. Then he raised an eyebrow and cocked his head a bit.

  I was drunk but if I understood him right, and he was telling me what I think he was….”Well, maybe you’ll be just as brave someday?” looking up at him.

  He looked up and beyond me for a second. Finally he said, “Someday. Maybe someday.”

  “Works for me,” I said as we turned to walk back to our cars. I grabbed his ass and said, “God Damn that’s a great ass.”

  He laughed and knocked my hand away. “You’re such a nut!”

  “Don’t you forget it.” God, I was so friggin’ happy.

  Part

  6

  Who’s yo daddy!

  * * * * * * * * * * * *

  “You are a very brave man, Mike Martin,” he said. “Braver than I am.”

  “Nah, I bet you’re pretty brave.”

  He stopped walking and I turned to look at him. “I repeat, you’re braver than I am,” this time he said it a bit more exact. Then he raised an eyebrow and cocked his head a bit.

  I was drunk but if I understood him right, and he was telling me what I think he was….”Well, maybe you’ll be just as brave someday?” looking up at him.

  He looked up and beyond me for a second. Finally he said, “Someday. Maybe someday.”

  “Works for me,” I said as we turned to walk back to our cars. I grabbed his ass and said, “God Damn that’s a great ass.”

  He laughed and knocked my hand away. “You’re such a nut!”

  “Don’t you forget it.” God, I was so friggin’ happy.

  * * * * * * * * * *

  I received the first cd a few days after we had gone to Rhett’s. I woke up that Wednesday morning and my muscles were a little sore. Matt decided Monday morning that I needed to get up in the morning with him so we could work out together.

  “Fine,” I said groggily. “But just remember that Mr. Congeniality doesn’t show up until closer to 10 o’clock.” Evidently he’d forgotten how much I hate mornings.

  “I’ll try and keep that in mind, pal,” he'd said.

  Normally I just ran and watched what I ate. As far as alcohol intake, the first two nights I was here was not the norm for me. When I go out with friends I’ll usually have one, maybe two, drinks. I hate beer: as my grandma used to say “they can put it back into the horse for all I care.
” Amen, Grandma. But I love people who say it’s an acquired taste, and that it took them months to get used to the taste. Well baby, I want to feel good right now dammit, not in a few months.

  Anyhow, the Monday and Tuesday after my "revelation" at the bar Matt and I would get up and head upstairs for a workout. He didn’t need the workout because he looked really good anyway, but I sure needed some toning up. I also knew that it’d be even more one-on-one time with The Handsome One. Totally fine with me.

  Back to the cd. I got up Wednesday morning, nary the cheerful person, and sat up to wake my brain. I’m not really smart so it takes a while. I saw on my nightstand a cd that wasn’t there the night before. I looked at it for a second before I picked it up to check it out. It wasn’t a cd that you’d buy in the store. Nope. On the jewel case was a sticky note that said: “Remember – music always has something to say. Enjoy.”

  Well wasn’t that nice of Eddie, I thought. He didn’t have to do that. Actually, I’m not sure when he would have because all of us were always together—except when Matt and I’d go upstairs to the mini-gym. I flipped it over and started reading the song titles on the back. I smiled as I read them. It was all 80’s stuff. Talk about high school memories!

  There was “Addicted To Love,” “All I Need Is A Miracle,” “Can’t Stop (How I Feel),” “Crazy For You.” I looked up as I started thinking about the songs. Odd; there seemed to be a common thread here. Let’s see, what else is there….”Don’t You Forget About Me,” “Dreamin’.” Oh my God! I hadn’t heard Cliff Richards’ song “Dreamin’” since I was in the sixth grade. I always loved that song and looked forward to hearing it on the radio. What else, “Father Figure,” Hmmm. “Feels So Right.”

  Oh God. Eddie no! All these songs were….love songs…sort of. Gulp. Eddie?

  “Whole Hearted,” “I Want To Know What Love is.” Oh Eddie. You sweet thang. If I were only interested. And making this cd for me fit the entire, wholesome, farm boy deal he had goin’. But I wasn’t interested. It kinda made me sad. I sighed and looked over all the rest of the songs.

  “If You Were Here.” The song from the movie “Sixteen Candles” where she gets the guy at the end. I loved the songs, but… “It’s Raining Men.” I had to laugh out loud at that. Perfect song for a gay guy.

  “What are you laughing at, Martin?” I looked up to see Matt walk into the bedroom.

  “Oh, it looks like sleepy head over there” pointing to Eddie “made me a cd.”

  “Huh? Eddie?” He looked puzzled.

  “Yeah, check out the songs,” I said, showing him the titles. He handed it back to me quickly, barely looking at it.

  “It looks like quite a bit of effort was made,” he said.

  “I know. Poor guy,” I told him.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Cause I ain’t interested,” I said quietly.

  He looked over at Eddie’s sleeping form. “Hmmm.” Then he turned and walked out of the room.

  There were a couple of more songs. “Our Lips Are Sealed,” and to end it all “Something About You” by Level 42. “Oh, I hope I’m wrong about this,” I muttered to myself.

  I put the cd back on the nightstand, put on some shorts and a tank top, and then headed upstairs to join Matt. He was waiting for me when I walked in. “You ready?” he asked.

  “Oh, I’m always ready,” I said with a wink.

  He asked me “Where’s the cd.”

  “It’s downstairs.”

  “Aren't you going to listen to it?”

  “Well, yeah. I’ll do it later,” I said.

  “It looks like some time and effort was put into that,” he repeated.

  “Ok? I agree.” Where was this coming from?

  We started, or I should say that I started, our workout routine. I say “I started” because Matt was still teaching me how to use some of the machines properly and he didn’t really get to use them himself for a while. He wasn’t talking a whole lot this morning which was odd because the boy never really met a stranger, that I could tell.

  “So, everything all right?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Why.”

  “’Yeah, why’” I mocked in my which-way-did-he-go voice. He didn’t say anything; didn’t even look at me. “Okay, so something’s up.”

  “No, I just said it’s cool.”

  “What’s cool.”

  “Dammit Mike, I’m fine.” I could tell he was getting a little irritated.

  “Dude, sorry I asked. Geeze.”

  We continued our workout in silence for a while before Matt spoke again.

  “You know Mike, you don’t have to make everything alright.”

  “Huh?”

  “You heard me,” he said.

  “Well no shit, I heard you, but that doesn’t mean I know what you’re talking about.”

  “If I’m having a shitty day, maybe I just want to let it work itself out. You don’t have to try and make it better.”

  “I didn’t realize I was 'trying' anything,” I told him.

  “Yeah you do. You’re always cracking jokes, trying to get people to laugh. Laughing at whatever you say. I’m just saying that it’s okay for people to just chill. You don’t have to be the one to make everyone laugh, to make things okay for them.”

  Boy, this was a weird turn of events. “Well let’s just workout because obviously I can’t make things okay for you, pal,” I muttered.

  “You got that right.”

  I turned to him. “God damn, son! And what the fuck’s got into you? I hadn’t even said a shittin’ thing to you. It’s like I’m in the goddamned twilight zone!”

  He just stood there and shook his head. “You don’t get it, do you.”

  Between myself and the readers it had been years since I’d taken crap from anyone, and I wasn’t about to regress. With my hands on my hips I said, “Obviously not! Matt, you’re not making any friggin’ sense.”

  “All I said was that you should really listen to the goddamned cd.” He was getting loud now.

  “And all I said was that I would. If you haven’t noticed I don’t have my walkman—you were gonna show me how to work this shit” I said gesturing to the equipment “so I didn’t think the time was right to have my headphones on. What’ja want me to do, say ‘Sorry Matt, what was that? I was listening to my music instead of paying attention’!” What a turd he was being!

  “Quit changing the subject!”

  “What subject!”

  “I was talking about you always trying to make things better for everyone!” he yelled.

  “Are you just—you know, I’m not going to do this. Someone shat on your head, you’re feelin’ full of piss and vinegar and you’re taking it out on me.” I said this calmer so I wouldn’t wring his neck, then I turned to leave the room. But then I turned right back around.

  “You know? Screw this! I laugh because I like to laugh. I don’t know why, I just do. If I try to help someone out who seems to be having a bad day, how else am I gonna do it! All you had to do, which you did, was to say 'back off', which I did. You’re the one who brought up all the psycho-babble crap. Not me.” I turned back around to leave. This really sucked and I was really pissed, simply because I had no idea where any of this was coming from, or where it was going.

  As I walked off he said quietly, “You were a pussy in school and you’re being a pussy now.” I stopped and turned to look at him, stunned. He realized what he’d said before I even looked at him. “Oh shit Mike,” and he wiped his hands down his face. “I didn’t mean that.” I just stared at him. “I…I have no idea where that came from.”

  “Don’t bullshit me,” I said.

  “No, I really don’t. You’ve been nothing but nice to me. Hell, you’ve even forgiven me for how I treated you when we were kids.”

  “That’s because we were kids then. We’re supposed to be adults, now,” I said firmly. “You can get as angry as you want at me, I can take it. But the one thing I won’t take is being called any
kind of name.” I was trying to be really cool. In actuality I hadn’t had a confrontation with hardly anyone since high school and was really nervous inside. “You can tell me I’m acting like something, but don’t call me names. I like you, Matt, but I ain’t puttin’ up with that shit from anyone. Got it?”

  His shoulders dropped as he breathed out. “Mike,” he said taking a step towards me and rubbing his chin, “I really am sorry. I had a bad night and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have.”

  I shook my head. “Dude, it’s ok. I know sometimes I can be a bit much to take.”

  “No, it’s just…” He started looking up at the ceiling.

 

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