by Rebeca Seitz
Before he realized they’d been through the songs, Jack took the pulpit and opened his Bible. Jamison prepared to tune in. The songs were Meg’s part of worship, but the sermon was his.
* * *
JACK CLEARED HIS throat and stepped up to the podium. He heard the shuffling of church bulletins and Bible pages as the congregation readied to hear his sermon. Would they be receptive to the message he’d been up all night preparing?
Would Jamison?
No time to think about that now. This wasn’t the first time he’d felt called to talk about an unpopular, potentially messy topic. And it probably wouldn’t be the last.
Placing a hand on either side of the pulpit, he began. “Love. Is it fantasy, fact, or feeling? I see many couples today with something eerily similar occurring in their marriage: they have ‘fallen’ out of love with their spouse. I generally ask them if they broke any bones when they fell in love the first time.”
That got a few chuckles.
“You get the humor in that much better than most of these folks. Usually they respond by telling me they simply do not love their spouse anymore. I wish I could be surprised by that, but I’ve heard it too much. Without fail I always ask them, `If you don’t love your spouse any more, how much less is your love?’ I get a whole lot of deer-in-the-headlights looks to that question.”
He dared a glance over to Jamison, not surprised when his son-in-law didn’t meet his eyes.
“Seriously though, what does it mean to fall in love? Were you just walking along on life’s pathway and all of a sudden—boom—you were on your backside looking up, wondering what hit you? Had you fallen before you had time to think about what you were getting into? Was it a kiss or maybe just a look from that special someone that sent the warm fuzzies running all over your body and made you think this must be love?
“In the Book of Revelation, chapter 2, Jesus speaks of those who have left their first love. They called ’em AWOL in the army, Zelda tells me. That means ‘Around here but With Out Lights on,’ for those of you wondering.” As laughter rippled through the congregation, Jack sought his wife’s eyes and was warmed at the support he saw in her gaze.
“If you have your Bible, turn with me and let’s see what God has to say to us.”
Those who hadn’t already turned to the passage printed in the bulletin responded to his command. He paused so they’d have time to find the Scripture, then began reading.
“Scripture says, ‘To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands: I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured many hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.’” (NIV)
Jack didn’t usually read that much Scripture aloud, but they needed to hear the meat of the Word before he expounded on it. Besides, he loved the last part of the next verse. “And in verse 6: ‘But you have this in your favor: you hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says …’”
He laid the open Bible on the pulpit and paced to the right. Looking out over the congregation, he saw a couple hundred sets of eyes gazing back at him. It only took a glance to confirm Jamison’s eyes were in that group.
* * *
MEG DOODLED A flower on the notes section of her church bulletin. If anybody looked at her, she’d appear to be a woman taking notes on a sermon—rather than a wife worried about her husband’s response to her daddy’s words. She shaded in the round petals while considering the timing of this particular sermon topic.
Zelda must have said something to Daddy.
Unsure how to feel about that, Meg drew a house beside the bed of black ink flowers. As she sketched in windows and a chimney, she almost felt the vibrations of stress coming off Jamison. Did he know how loudly his body language spoke to her? Did he think—after all these years of marriage—that she wouldn’t be tuned in to him?
Did the rest of the congregation know that her husband had let himself strike up an inappropriate friendship with a woman in Greenfield? Meg raised her head and glanced around. Most eyes were fixed on Daddy, some were focused on laps or bulletins. None seemed to be throwing fiery darts in Jamison’s direction.
Meg heaved a sigh and went back to her drawing. The home coming to life underneath her pen was picture-perfect.
Like her life used to be.
* * *
JACK SCANNED THE crowd, making eye contact with a few. “Now, I bet you’re scratching your head, wondering how in the world can he get a message about love and marriage from this passage? Well, you’re not alone. When God sent me to this passage last night, I thought He wanted me to preach a message on church attendance or coming to love Him more. I already had a couple of those prepared and it wouldn’t take much time or effort to fix a sermon for today. I argued with Him for a while—ever tried that when God’s speaking to your heart?”
A few chuckles met his question. He smiled and shook his head. “Sounds like some of y’all know the craziness of fighting with the Eternal One. Well, as He always does, He eventually won. He’s just like that. So I didn’t get the sermon I went looking for. Kind of like I went to a calf sale and came back with a sow.
“See, I got the distinct impression that God was telling me that a lot of marriages were mirror images of some of the churches He was speaking of here in Revelation 2. They started out in a big way, lots of pomp and circumstance, bells and whistles and all. And then something happened on their journey to spiritual bliss and they fell out of love with what He called their first love. For the sake of this message I would like you to think of the term first love the same way you would generally think of marriage, okay?” Heads nodded. “Now, let’s go back and lay some groundwork for what ol’ John is writing about here in Revelation.”
Several of those in the congregation were scratching notes in the designated space on the bulletin. Questions to throw at him later? Maybe. Could be this lesson hit home for more than he wished.
“In Acts chapter 19 we find Paul teaching at the church in Ephesus. He taught for nearly three years there. It had to be a Baptist church, cause that’s about the average stay for most Baptist pastors at one church today.”
More chuckles. Good. They were still with him.
“Anyway, it was in Ephesus that Paul first introduced the baptism of the Holy Spirit to disciples of John the Baptist. Man oh man, I bet he had to do some tall teaching to keep them folks from changing denominations.
“It was in Ephesus that the Bible says many miracles were done, extraordinary ones the Bible called them. So much so that even handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched Paul were taken to the sick.” He adopted the tone of an old Southern revival pastor, yelling out loud and strong:
“And their illnesses were cured and the evil spirits left them!”
He pounded the podium. Those who were falling asleep twitched awake and those who’d been paying attention smiled or chuckled.
Jack went back to his normal voice. “It would seem that a great tent meeting had broken out among them Ephesian folks. Why, lookit, one of the first book burnings took place there. Guess they got serious about their religion real fast.
“Now, before Paul preached Jesus there, many of the Ephesians had practiced sorcery and witchcraft. After becoming believers in Jesus, they brought all their books on sorcery and spells and all to the town square and burned them for all to see, so caught up in their devotion to this Jesus. Man, were they worked up or what? Sounds a lot like the first couple of years—or months, depending—of marriage, doesn’t it?”
Jack let his gaze rest on a few of those sitting before him. “
Remember what those first few months, hopefully years, of marriage were like? Spending time with that special someone every night. Not really wanting to go to work. Just longing to lie in bed or walk around the house or apartment and look at each other all day.”
He shot another look Zelda’s way. She winked at him.
“Ah, but eventually reality sets in and we begin to shift our attention to other things in life, like a career or maybe starting a family. And sooner than we can realize it, we’re spending more and more time at the office or in the field trying to get ahead or when the family starts on the journey of becoming the next super star in sports and one of the parents has to drive them all over the place. Time begins to slip away from us and then one day—wham—someone new walks into our life.”
* * *
JAMISON SETTLED HIS right heel on his left knee. Be calm. But the self-direction wasn’t working. The longer Jack preached, the higher his blood pressure rose. Whatever happened to preaching about hellfire and brimstone? To telling the stories of all the Bible characters—Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Joseph? Did they really need to focus on Revelation? A book hardly any Christian walking the earth could understand on their best day?
He tapped his pen against the Bible lying open in his lap. He hadn’t written the first note. Meg, meanwhile, looked as if she’d decided to write an entire Bible study based on Jack’s sermon today. Fabulous. Just when things are looking up in his marriage, Jack has to rain down judgment.
And all for something that was completely innocent.
Jamison put the cap back on his pen and settled his back against the pew. Relax. He’ll be done in a few minutes.
And the second that happened, Jamison would be out of there.
* * *
JACK WAVED A hand in the air. “It all may start kind of innocent-like. A woman says something about how you’ve been keeping yourself fit since getting married. Or maybe she compliments you, and it kind of just strokes your ego. And you haven’t been getting much of that lately from your wife—she’s too busy with her own job and the house and kids. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with just talking to another woman, is there? Your wife used to tell you how good you looked all the time.
“The same thing happened to Paul. They’d been talking him up everywhere he went, bringing all those sick people to him to be healed. Listening to his every word. Hanging on every syllable. But isn’t that what they were supposed to be doing? I mean, after all, he had told them that new converts were to desire the sincere milk of the word—just like newborn babes would have done. Have you ever seen a newborn baby that didn’t want some milk to drink? Man, they’re always hungry. Feed them until they get full and a few hours later they’re starving again. That just what those Ephesian folks were doing—wanting more and more from God’s table. How about you? Do you sincerely desire food from God’s table? I mean, really hunger and thirst for it, just like a newborn babe does?
“Now I know what some of you hunger and thirst for. I’ve seen you fidgeting around in your seat, looking at your watches, can’t wait for the service to be over with, right? Right. Because what’s on your mind is getting home and feeding your belly and taking the required Sunday-afternoon nap.”
Scattered laughter and a few red faces met his knowing smile. Jack had mercy on the latter and went on. “But, back to Paul and his trouble. It took just three years and then reality set in with some of those in Ephesus. It was the money thing. An uproar took place concerning a few folks’ ability to make money. It tied back to their old style of worship and that goddess Artemis. And silver. Put simply, greed overcame them. And pride. Their reputation in their province of Asia Minor and the other cities around them mattered to them. Tying their greed to their previous worship was a very good idea. So much so that if we didn’t know better, we would think that it might have come from satan himself! Before long, these folks rushed the disciples to overpower them. A lynching-party mind-set had set in. They wanted blood.”
Jack paced to the other side of the pulpit, then leaned one elbow against it. Time to bring this sermon home and make the crucial point. “So what, you’re asking, does all this have to do with you? Well, lately I’ve been talking to some friends of mine that are in trouble. Not the kind of trouble you can see from the outside. No, what’s got them messed up is an affair. But not just your old garden-variety affair. What’s snagged these folks is what’s called an emotional affair.”
He nodded at the raised eyebrows. “I know, I know. An affair’s an affair, right? But these folks assured me an emotional affair isn’t as bad as the actual physical thing. ‘Sometimes,’ they said, ‘the other person didn’t even know about the crush I have on him or her.’”
Jack straightened. “Say what? You’ll have to s’plain that one to me, Lucy. I mean what’s the point in having a crush on someone if they don’t know about it? Wouldn’t that be kind of like kissing your mule?
“‘You see,’ they continue, ‘there’s this person in the post office where I go every day and he’s always there, smiling at me, talking really nice to me—like Bobby used to do before he started working all that overtime at the factory.’ Next thing they knew they started wondering what it would be like to be with this other person. Then they began to fantasize about the person all day and even sometimes at night when they were at home. ‘But I would never physically act on it, would I, preacher?’ I ask how their relationship with the spouse has been affected by all this fantasizing. ‘At first it didn’t have any effect. But after awhile, my thoughts of him began to creep into my mind when I was having sex’— notice here they did not say making love—‘with my husband. I began to let them take more and more of my time. But it’s not like I had a real affair, preacher. Right? Besides, Bobby’s been acting like a jerk lately—always pounding on that submission thing. Why, if you listen to him long enough, he sounds like he thinks he’s God’s right-hand man. If he keeps on acting like this, it won’t be long before he’s gonna want me to bow down when he finally does get home at night. Kinda like I did when we first got married. Why, it almost reminds me of how Dad treated Mom all those years before she left. Humph, maybe she had a right to leave! What d’ya think pastor? Do I have that right?’”
A few old-timers shouted out, “No!” Jack waited a moment, letting the scenario sink into the minds of the congregants. He’d avoided looking toward Jamison and Meg’s side of the sanctuary to this point. Instead, he looked at Zelda, who had her head turned slightly and her eyes cut over to Jamison. Zelda could tell him after the service what impact his words may have had.
He walked back behind the podium and leaned forward. “Know what I think? In the Old Testament, adultery was a very serious sin with some heavy consequences attached to it, up to and including stoning the offending parties to death. Even in the New Testament, when they brought the woman caught in the very act of adultery to Jesus, they wanted her stoned. So you see, adultery carried a heavy penalty with it.
“Jesus, in His teachings we call the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew chapter 5, teaches us a new way of looking at the problem of sin we all carry around. While in the Torah it was the physical acts that brought about the consequences for one’s actions, in Jesus’ new way of looking at things, the problem with sin was taken to a new and higher level. The level of thoughts and motives.
“Jesus said it plain and clear. ‘I tell you if you even think about it, it is the same as if you had already committed the act.’ Wow! That’s some hard teaching. Who could live up to that kind of scrutiny? Even our thoughts are now put on record for our judgment? Lord help us all! Exactly the point!
“So, dear friends, it seems crystal clear to me that there’s no difference between the physical act and the emotional. This is why we must guard our hearts and minds from letting these thoughts creep in. Might be why Paul said, ‘Whatsoever is good, whatsoever is pure and wholesome, think on these things.’
Jack paused, studying those watching and listening, their faces intent. Sho
uld he tack on the ending or did they get the point? Always a fine line between preaching and teaching. He tried to stay out of making the folks feel preached at. Better to leave them thinking about his words than missing the point because they were mad at him.
Time to wrap it up.
“Take a last look at that Scripture. ‘But you have this in your favor: you hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.’ According to the early church fathers—such as Ignatius, Irenaeus, Clement of Alexandria, Tertullian, and Hippolytus …”
He paused, grinning at the congregation. “Impressed y’all by knowing the names of these fellows, didn’t I?” Laughter eased around the room, and he nodded. “According to those fellas, the name Nicolaitans referred to those who, while professing themselves to be Christians, lived licentiously. Hmm, let’s see … self-proclaimed Christians acting and living like the world? Married people acting and living, whether actually or emotionally, as if they were single—or worse yet, sometimes wishing they were? I think I see a correlation here. And the church is being praised for hating those practices. What does that say to us if we live our lives on fantasies, dreams, and feelings versus facts based on God’s Holy Word?
“Here’s a fact you can hang your hat—or eternity—on: God made a conscious decision to leave heaven and come to earth, walk among us humans, die that awful death on the cross to pay the price for our salvation, rose on the third day, and then returned to heaven. What we do with the actions He performed for us is our decision. That’s love—not looking elsewhere when the relationship is broken or difficult, but instead finding a way to make the relationship whole.” He let his gaze travel the room, careful not to pause when he looked at Jamison and Meg.
Father, please, let Your truth pierce Jamison’s heart.