by Jenny Hale
When there was nothing left but her, her bags, and the silence of the icy air around her, she put the presents in the trunk of her car. She’d gotten Max everything he’d asked for. She’d spent way more money than she’d ever in her life, but, just this once, she was going to make magic.
“Max sure had a lot to say about that new friend of yours,” Gramps said as she entered the house. He was sitting on the sofa, his hand bouncing furiously against his leg. Abbey remembered those hands as they’d pushed her on the swings at the park. He’d grab the chain at the base and pull her up almost over his head before letting go. As a child it had seemed like he was pulling her as high as the treetops. Gramps’s shaking hand came back into focus.
“Yes,” she said, acknowledging his comment. “Max really likes Nick.”
“And what do you plan to do about that?”
“Is there anything to do? He’s only a friend.”
“Is that how you say goodbye to a friend?” He shot a glance over to the window where she noticed a perfect view of the driveway. He’d seen their kiss.
“Max has his heart set on seeing him again. Did you know he told me about their sock races? He told me how Nick had talked to him when Max was in his office. When I asked what they’d talked about, Max said, ‘Big man work stuff’ and he seemed quite pleased to have had the chance to talk to him. His hopes are sky high, Abbey. I’ve never seen him like this.”
“Well, he’s done that himself,” she said feeling frustrated. “I’ve done nothing to get his hopes up like that.”
“No,” Gramps said, eyeing her in a way that told her otherwise.
“What?” She felt defensive.
“Nick Sinclair has been taking you to a lot of places recently. You stayed at his house during the snowstorm. You could’ve stayed here…”
“That’s not fair. He happened to be with me when the power went out and then the storm hit. That wasn’t my fault.”
“Have you considered his motivations in all of this? Why is he always around? What does he want?”
What does he want? she wondered herself. Does he even know?
She and Gramps could always talk. As a teenager, he was that neutral party who would listen when her mother would’ve been more judgmental. Her mom would worry about her choices, tell her what to do, but that wasn’t what Abbey needed to hear. She knew that her choices were sometimes not the best ones, but she went with her heart, and nothing her mother could say—even lovingly like she had—would change that. Gramps had a way of listening and guiding without pointing fingers. Looking back on all their conversations now, she realized that he wasn’t so neutral, and he had plenty of his own thoughts on the matters of her life; he just knew how and when to give his opinions, and she found that when she didn’t listen to him, later, she’d understand that he was right. Every time.
“I haven’t figured it out yet,” she said honestly. “He seems to care about me, Gramps. Things have moved very quickly between us, but we have a lot going against us.”
His body was unstill, and she could tell the medicine wasn’t working like it should, but his eyes were the same eyes that had guided her for so many years. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like one day when he wasn’t there to help her.
“Like what? His money?”
“Well, there’s that, but that isn’t really the issue. He’s moving to New York, and no one can convince him otherwise. His business is demanding it.”
“And you wouldn’t consider going to New York to see him?”
“I wouldn’t want to pursue anything long distance, Gramps. The travel would be really hard on Max. Plus, all that running around would give me less time to see you.” She smiled, but didn’t receive a smile in return.
“Don’t you dare make a decision about your future based on me.”
How could he say such a thing? Of course she would. She was going to use some of Nick’s money to buy his new medicine. She’d want to be around to monitor him if they tried it. And if it didn’t work, she’d want to be there to find something that did. Over the years, Gramps had given her and her mother a whole lot; she couldn’t possibly give him all that he’d given her, but she could darn well try.
“Gramps, I’m not going to leave you.”
“If it will affect your life, you’d better.”
She knew that he wasn’t going to budge, so she had to come at it from the logical standpoint. “I’m going to help you with the Parkinson’s as it progresses,” she said. “I’m the one in the family who knows your options and how to handle the disease. Do you really want me to leave all the decisions on Mom’s shoulders while I run back and forth to New York?”
She’d made her point, but he didn’t like it, she could tell.
“And what decisions do we have? Meds or no meds? Options to keep me from being a grump? What are you going to do for me, Abbey?”
“I think I can buy those trial meds you need.”
For an instant, he was stiller than he’d been, hope washing over him, but then, it dissipated and he connected the dots. He knew the only way she’d have that kind of money was if she used Nick’s payment for the interior decorating. She didn’t even have to say anything.
“Max needs that money more than I do.”
“Max will be just fine. You need it, Gramps. If those meds will help you, I’ll get them. It’s worth a try.”
“For what—to prolong the inevitable?” His fingers were jumping all over his lap now. “I’ve had my life, Abbey. You and Max and your mother have not finished yours. Don’t waste it on me.”
“How’s it wasting it if I’m spending it on making someone I love better?”
“When your grandmother got sick, you were only little, so we kept you from a lot of it, but there came a time where the cancer was everywhere and she asked that we not do anything too invasive. She just wanted to live out the rest of her days. That was it. We all have a certain amount of time here. Live out your days. Invest that money in an interior decorating business! Do something other than sink it into an old man. Enjoy life! Stop trying to prolong mine. I’ve had a great run.”
She didn’t want to be having this conversation. It was almost Christmas for goodness’ sake. She wanted everything to be great this year. She wanted a dream holiday—the kind like the movies. But life wasn’t like that, and, while she’d do her very best, it would never be exactly the way she wanted it.
“Hi, Mama!” Max said as he entered the room, Abbey’s mom behind him. “Look what I made with Nana.” He held out a coloring page that had every detail colored.
“It’s pretty,” Abbey said.
“How’d the shopping trip go?” her mom asked, more questions than just that one hanging in the air between them.
“It went fine,” Abbey said. “Nick got me this.” She stroked the scarf that was still around her neck. She hadn’t taken it off with her coat when she’d come in. Señor Freckles was sitting in the corner of the room by the kitchen door, presumably ready to make a run for her new scarf. The only thing deterring him was the fact that there were people present. Was he zooming in on it right now? It sure looked like it.
“Wow,” her mom said as Max ran his fingers along it. “That is a very nice gesture.”
“I couldn’t believe he bought it for me.” She wiggled it while looking at the cat, knowing he’d never dare get close enough to play with it.
“Nick seems very nice,” her mother said.
“He is.”
To her surprise, the cat began walking low to the ground, like a precursor to a pounce, its eyes on the fringe at the bottom of the scarf.
“Don’t you dare,” she said to the cat, tossing the ends of her scarf over her shoulders.
Señor Freckles jumped onto the arm of the chair, and when it did, she could hear him purring. The cat stepped up on the back of the sofa directly behind Abbey. They were all watching to see what he would do. The cat had never been so bold before. To her disbelief, he started pawing gently
at her neck, his purrs loud in her ear. Max reached up and touched his back, and the cat let him.
“Ever since I got that cat,” Gramps said, “I’ve hoped that he would come around. He will. It just takes time. All he has known his whole life is how to be alone. He has to learn how to be with people. That’s all. Then he will know that being alone isn’t as good as being with those who love him.”
Chapter Twenty
“Is that a new Christmas tree?” Abbey asked.
“Yes,” Caroline said with a smile. She turned her head toward the small, three-foot spruce with crystal ornaments and red balls. “I had it delivered and I decorated it yesterday. Isn’t it pretty?”
“Yes. It’s so nice.”
Caroline nodded in agreement then turned and faced Abbey. “Robin called,” she said as Abbey took her blood pressure and scribbled the numbers onto her chart. “She and the family are coming early in an attempt to avoid the impending snow in New York.”
Abbey was relieved the house was nearly finished. She still had a few projects left, but nothing that would get in the way of visitors. “Have you ever been to New York?” Abbey asked, trying to seem nonchalant in her approach.
“Yes, dear. It’s nice there.”
“You like it? I’ve never been.” She checked Caroline’s heartbeat, and then pulled her stethoscope out of her ears and let it dangle around her neck. She wrote down more notes in the chart. “I’m guessing the city is busier than here. Which do you like better?”
“I can live anywhere at this stage in my life, but I particularly like it here. I get to see you, and Nick is just down the road… I’ll even move into Nick’s giant house if it suits everyone. At least I can trust you’ve made it habitable. In New York, the only family there is Robin, and she’s so busy with work and her son. I’d never see her.” Then she stopped talking and looked at Abbey. “Why are you asking?”
“No reason,” she said. “I was just curious since I’d never been there.”
“Mmm,” Caroline said, her mind clearly moving to something else.
Abbey shouldn’t have mentioned it. She should have just kept quiet. But she was worried for her friend. She didn’t want just anyone taking care of her. There were things about Caroline that she knew only because she’d worked so closely with her. Would someone else know that she liked her pillows from flattest to puffiest going down the middle of the bed because it helped her arthritis? Would they know not to give her anything with grapefruit because it upset her stomach? Would they know that her blood pressure went up just slightly throughout the day and only went down after around six o’clock and that was okay?
“Nick’s father, Aaron, lived in New York,” she said, her eyes like lasers. “His business was there and it was very profitable. Nick took a risk coming to Richmond, a small, southern city. People warned him not to, but he did anyway because Sarah wanted him to. That’s why he’s going back.”
“You know?”
“Yes. He told me everything over the phone last night.”
“I wish he’d have told you in person,” Abbey said, shaking her head.
“It’s okay. He’s a busy man.”
“You cater to him sometimes,” Abbey said boldly. “You should’ve made him come tell you.”
“You would’ve if you were me, wouldn’t you?” Caroline smiled a devious smile. “That’s why I like you so much. You’re good for him. I’m glad he met you.”
Abbey smiled.
“It’s a shame things couldn’t be different. I will miss you,” Caroline said.
“I’ll miss you too. But, it looks like I’ll be moving into the main house very soon, so we’ll have a bit more time together.”
“I’m excited about that.”
“So,” Caroline said, sitting up and clearing her throat to change direction. “Did we get my test results?”
“Let me look through your mail and see. They were supposed to overnight it on Friday, which should definitely put it here today.” Abbey thumbed through the envelopes that she’d brought in from the mail on her way to see Caroline. Sure enough, she saw it. “Want me to open it, or would you like to?”
“Open it, dear. You can decipher the results better than I can. But wait. Before you do, let’s have some pie. I’ve made fresh peach cobbler.”
Caroline got two plates from the cupboard. Abbey noticed the delicate pink floral design around the edge. Caroline cut a generous slice from the pie and slipped it onto one of them.
“Your plates are beautiful,” she said. “Are they antique?”
Caroline offered a wide smile. “Yes. They’re my mother’s. I used them as a girl.”
“What was your childhood like?” Abbey asked, watching the way Caroline managed to get the slices of pie onto the plates without breaking the crust at all. She was a skilled hostess, but Abbey knew that about her. Caroline was the epitome of grace. She was polite, gentle in her movements, reserved in her comments, and she could entertain amazingly well. Even her home was bright and clean, no evidence whatsoever of aging—no extra dust, none of the smells or sights she’d encountered when she’d cared for people in the past. Caroline added a fork to each plate. Abbey picked up the two plates and set them on the table that was still covered in the cream tablecloth Abbey had bought when she’d decorated.
Caroline smiled, acknowledging her question, but in true form, she wasn’t planning to answer until they were comfortably sitting at the table. “How about some coffee first?” she asked. “I just brewed some for myself. I made an entire pot. There’s plenty.” Abbey nodded and Caroline pulled a shiny silver creamer from the fridge and set it on a silver tray. Then, from the cupboard, she got a matching sugar bowl. She placed them on the table with two spoons, their handles intricately designed in silver roses.
Once the coffee was served and they were seated, Caroline very courteously placed her hands in her lap, leaving her food and drink untouched. “You asked about my childhood,” she said with a smile. “That is why I love you so much, Abbey. You’re the first person to ask.”
“Really?”
“The others are so busy, I can’t blame them. You are too—don’t misunderstand me—but your job allows you time to focus on people. I really admire your attention to detail and your caring nature.”
“Thank you,” Abbey said, the compliment warming her. She hadn’t received a lot of praise in her line of work, and it just went to show the bond that she and Caroline had. She gently dragged her fork against the corner of the pie, scooping up a bite.
Caroline took a slow sip of her coffee, resting the dainty cup in the palm of her hand. “My childhood was quite different than the generations after me. What’s considered acceptable in our family now is quite dissimilar to my day. I had a good childhood.” She took another quiet sip and then set it down to take a bite of pie. They sat in silence as she finished her bite. Then, she continued. “I was expected to do the things my mother taught me to do: I was taught manners; I learned how to receive guests; I did what I was told. But I played too. I had dollhouses, a wooden rocking horse, blocks. I was like most children when I was allowed to play.” Her voice was quiet and a little sad.
Abbey paid attention to what Caroline was saying. She was telling her something more than what was on the surface. She was too careful with her words, too mannerly, to say what she wanted to say, but Abbey could see it on her face. In her description, she hadn’t used the word “love” once. She hadn’t said how great her parents were or how good they’d been with her. She hadn’t spoken about trips she’d taken with her family, only what she’d been asked to do.
“My son and his wife, Susan, raised Nick and his sister in a different manner,” she said. “Aaron was busy—he worked all the time—but when he was there, he made those kids feel like they were all that mattered. They had a bond with him that no one can ever take from them, and they miss him dearly. I had to find that kind of devotion later in life with my husband rather than my family, but it was fine. I am who
I am because of my life’s path. It just took me a little longer to find my way.”
“Do you ever worry about your grandkids finding their way?”
“I don’t worry about Robin. She’s happily married with a son. She left as soon as she possibly could. She’s just like her mother, and she found it much easier to be happy on her own. Then there’s Nick.” She took another sip of her coffee and stared into the brown liquid for a while before she started talking again. “Nick is a little lost, at the moment. He needs someone to show him the way.”
“And you think that person is me,” she said, no longer worried about what Caroline might say. It was pretty clear what she was getting at.
She smiled, and gingerly set her cup down onto its saucer. “I can only hope that person is you, my dear.”
“Please don’t get your hopes up,” Abbey said. “Our lives are taking very different turns.”
“I knew he was going to New York,” Caroline said. “Before he’d even said anything, I knew eventually he would.” She set her hands back into her lap in a very restrained manner. It was obvious that she was using everything she had to keep herself controlled. She probably worried terribly for him. “I know you are the right person to show him how to live, how to really live.”
“How do you figure?” Abbey asked.
Caroline was watching her closely, an unreadable look on her face. “You only know the Nick who you’ve seen. But he’s not the Nick that his family knows. The Nick we know does not stop working. He’s made it his personal goal to keep Aaron’s business successful and he works around the clock to make it happen. He misses meals, he doesn’t visit, he barely even takes a phone call. He doesn’t stop, Abbey. But, after meeting you, I’ve had a few more phone calls, a visit or two, and I’ve heard about the things he’s done with you. All of that is wonderful, but what really hit me was how many times you have been able to make him want to stop working. You’re the only person who can do it. Even Sarah didn’t get as much attention as you’re getting from him.”