by Jenna Jaxon
It shimmered in the light of the hundreds of candles adorning the ballroom, and she felt like a princess in it. Now she was waiting patiently for the arrival of her prince.
“Oh, come now. Everyone with eyes can see that the man is besotted with you.” Elizabeth turned to face her fully. “I am very happy for you, Sarah.”
Sarah felt her eyes widen in astonishment. What was Elizabeth about? She knew that Sarah could never be with Daniel.
“Elizabeth, you know that Daniel and I are – well, you know it cannot be anything.”
“I don’t believe that’s true.”
Sarah could only stare at her cousin. Had the woman run mad? Of course it was true!
“Have you forgotten why I left London?” she asked sharply.
She shouldn’t be angry with Elizabeth. Her cousin had been more like a loving sibling than her wastrel brother ever had.
Yet Sarah was angry nonetheless.
Elizabeth remained calm in the face of Sarah’s ire, however. “I haven’t forgotten. I just don’t think it matters.”
“How can you say such a thing?”
Elizabeth studied her intently for a moment or two before sighing. “Sarah, when you first arrived here and told us what your scoundrel brother had done, had threatened to do, I agreed fully that you had no choice but to hide away.”
“Nothing has changed in that regard, Elizabeth,” Sarah interrupted, desperation tinging her voice.
She was barely strong enough to keep from falling for the fairy tale. To stop herself from believing that somehow she and Daniel could be together. If the people around her started telling her it was possible, she wouldn’t be strong enough not to listen. And then she’d be destroyed.
“Something has changed,” Elizabeth said firmly. “Your duke has changed my opinion of the situation.”
“But—“
“Listen to me.” Elizabeth clasped Sarah by the upper arms, her silk fan digging into Sarah’s skin. But neither woman noticed. “When you arrived, you didn’t even mention his grace. But as soon as I saw the two of you together, I knew.”
“Knew what?” Sarah mumbled miserably. She was torn between hope and desolation.
“I knew that he meant a great deal to you. I’m right, aren’t I?”
She could lie, but what would be the point? Sarah had always been honest with Elizabeth. Besides, she had no desire to deny it. She wasn’t ashamed of how she felt for Daniel. It just didn’t make a difference.
“I love him,” she said simply. Quietly. “But it changes nothing.”
“Well, no, it doesn’t.”
Elizabeth’s frank statement took Sarah by surprise, as did the hurt she felt. But her cousin smiled gently and continued on. “But now that I know him. Now that I see how he feels about you. That changes everything.”
Stupidly, Sarah’s eyes filled with tears. “How can it?” she whispered past the lump in her throat.
“Because that, my dear, is one powerful man. And the love he feels for you could move mountains. So, I have no doubt that he wouldn’t let a little thing like a whiff of scandal keep him from you.”
Oh, how she wished that were true. Her much-abused heart thudded painfully. Before she could respond however, Elizabeth turned her gently to face the entry to the ballroom.
There Daniel stood, looking resplendent in black evening attire. His eyes were scanning the room in search of something. And when they landed on her, she knew he’d been searching for her.
His smile took her breath away. He looked so happy to see her. He looked, she dared to think, like a man in love.
“Go to him,” Elizabeth said softly. “Tell him what’s in your heart. Tell him what’s in your past.”
“I can’t,” Sarah said, even as she longed to.
“He deserves to know,” Elizabeth said stoutly. “And you deserve to be happy.”
Elizabeth was right. She knew it.
She gave her cousin a swift hug before turning to face Daniel, her past and hopefully, a future together.
***
Daniel watched as Sarah gave her cousin a brief hug before turning and making her way toward him.
God, would he ever get used to the feelings she awakened in him?
He wanted to shield her from all the bad in the world. He wanted to kiss her senseless. He wanted to spend every waking moment with her.
Was this obsessive need for another person true love? Or was it more than that? It felt like more.
She drew to a stop in front of him, and his eyes raked greedily over her, from her white blond curls, right down to the tips of her silver slippers.
“You look like a Christmas angel,” he said hoarsely, earning a laugh that awoke a desire in him that nearly took his breath away.
“Thank you,” she said sweetly.
He was about to ask for a dance when Sarah took a huge breath, as though preparing for something momentous, then fixed him with as serious a look as he’d seen from her.
“Daniel, I wanted to talk to you. Might we—” She paused and licked her lips nervously, nearly giving him an apoplexy in the process. “Might we find somewhere to — to talk. I need to — I wanted to—“
She drew to an uncertain stop, and a feeling of dread replaced the myriad other emotions he was experiencing from her close proximity. What could be causing such a nervousness in her? It couldn’t be anything good, could it?
Surely she wasn’t about to send him away or tell him she was leaving again?
Without a word, he grasped her gently by the arm and moved them both swiftly through the ballroom.
His actions were causing a rumbling of speculation, no doubt embroiling them both in a scandal. But he didn’t give a damn. He cared not a whit about his reputation, and though he would hate to damage hers, this was too important to worry about Society or what people might think. Besides, once she was a duchess it would take something earth-shattering to even touch her.
He kept them moving and didn’t stop until they were outside the ballroom on a mercifully empty balcony.
No other guest would be mad enough to be out in this freezing weather, Daniel was sure, and whilst he was grateful for the privacy it afforded them, he didn’t want Sarah getting sick because he was acting like a madman.
“You must be freezing.” He turned to face her, trying not to let his panic show.
Whatever bad news she had for him, he could deal with it. Talk her around or — or offer to go with her, or — well, anything.
“I’m fine,” she said, but he saw the tiny tremor in her body.
He swiftly removed his dinner jacket and placed it on her shoulders. It swamped her and made her look even more heart-achingly vulnerable.
“Thank you,” she said softly, wrapping the too-big garment around her small frame and pulling it tight.
“You wanted to speak to me,” he reminded her, relieved that he at least sounded calm.
“I did.”
He stayed silent. She paused.
And the wait was interminable.
Finally, she spoke. “I had a good reason for leaving London,” she blurted, taking him by surprise. “And that reason still exists.”
“All right,” he said warily.
“It will never not exist,” she continued sternly. It felt remarkably like being scolded by his old governess.
He wasn’t sure if she wanted a response or not so in the interest of safety, he stayed quiet just as he had done as a boy.
She glared at him for another moment or two before finally sighing. “The truth is, Daniel—”
Here it came. His whole world was about to come tumbling down around him.
“I love you.”
Her words brought his thoughts to a crashing halt. Of all the things he’d expected, he never could have imagined this.
“I thought you should know that,” she continued. “But—“
No. He didn’t want to hear “buts.” He didn’t want to hear anything other than what she’d just said.
So he stopped her words the best way he knew how. He pulled her close and crushed her lips beneath his own.
Daniel very nearly lost control of himself when her hands snaked around his neck, causing his jacket to slip unnoticed by Sarah to the ground, and he felt her press her body even closer, torturously closer to his own.
He coaxed her mouth open with his own and plunged his tongue inside the velvety heat with a groan he couldn’t control.
She loved him as he loved her, and that knowledge snapped the last of his tenuous control on the raging lust that consumed him every time she was near.
God, he had to stop. He wouldn’t ruin her on a balcony in the depths of a freezing Scottish winter.
He couldn’t—
His thoughts were interrupted by a moan from the delectable woman he held in his arms.
Well, hell. A man could only withstand so much.
The thread of control snapped, and he allowed his primal instinct to take over.
He lifted her fully from the ground so he could press her even closer while he trailed his lips along the smooth column of her neck.
Clasping her around the waist with one arm, he allowed the other to travel up the soft, smooth material of her gown.
“Sarah! Where did she get to?” The sound of Lady Elizabeth’s voice rent the night and brought Daniel crashing back to his senses.
What the hell was he doing ravaging Sarah almost in full view of the party?
He sprang back from her, setting her at arms’ length; all the while she gazed up at him with those impossibly blue eyes, filled with love — for him. She appeared thoroughly kissed.
Lady Elizabeth’s voice grew ever closer, and Daniel knew they would have only seconds left alone. Not nearly long enough to propose.
He quickly snatched his dinner jacket up from the ground, hastily donning it.
“Sarah.”
“Sarah!” Lady Elizabeth’s voice warred with his own, and he bit back an oath of frustration.
He would have to wait. Have patience. And he was not a patient man.
Well, proposing could wait, but one thing could not.
“Sarah,” he tried again.
She was heart-achingly beautiful, gazing up at him with eyes still glazed by passion. And that did very little to help his concentration.
But there would be time enough for that. A lifetime, in fact.
He smiled at her, feeling lighter than he had in years.
“I love you, too.”
“Sarah, thank God.”
Once again, his voice clashed with that of Lady Elizabeth, who appeared in the doorway then rushed forward, her face pale and worried.
Daniel didn’t even know if Sarah had heard his declaration, and he was about ready to rudely snatch her away from her cousin, but the other woman looked so overset, it stalled him.
His chivalrous side awakened abruptly. But before he could ask the lady if she needed assistance, she turned to Sarah and grabbed her shoulders.
“Your brother is here.”
Daniel didn’t even get a chance to ask why Lady Elizabeth sounded so upset by that. Or why Sarah paled alarmingly.
For with a whispered “no,” she turned from him and once more ran away and into the darkness.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“What the hell is going on here?” Daniel whipped his head from Sarah’s rapidly retreating back, to her stricken cousin, and back again.
He had no idea what to do first. Tear off after Sarah, or find out why that blackguard Whitton was here, and why his presence was so upsetting to the ladies.
“Your grace, did Sarah speak to you? Explain?”
Lady Elizabeth’s words were rushed, frantic even, and the niggle of doubt Daniel had earlier became fully fledged panic.
“Sarah and I were—“
“Were what, Darthford? Don’t tell me you’ve been tupping my mother’s bastard on the balcony?”
A swift, sharp anger flared up in Daniel and before he even tried to process the words the other man spoke, he reached out, grabbed his lapel and planted a facer hard enough to knock him to the ground.
“If you ever speak about Sarah like that in my presence again, I’ll kill you,” he spat.
“You’ve broken my bloody nose,” Whitton exclaimed, staggering back to his feet and pressing a white kerchief to his face.
Daniel ignored him, clenching his fists to keep from pummelling the blackguard into unconsciousness.
His mind was working at speed. Sarah had run when Elizabeth had announced Whitton’s presence. Elizabeth was pale and tense, though she seemed rather pleased that Daniel had punched the other man.
But why would Sarah run from her own brother? The man was as vile as his predecessor had been, but he was the only family Sarah had left.
He was a scoundrel without a doubt, but would he give his own sister a reason to be afraid of him?
Daniel couldn’t stem the growl that emitted from him at the thought of Whitton doing anything to Sarah to make her afraid. If he found out she’d been hurt by that bastard, he’d—
Daniel froze as Whitton’s words finally penetrated his anger.
My mother’s bastard.
Surely he hadn’t meant…
Daniel whipped his head to face Lady Elizabeth, who was now looking rather guiltily at her feet.
He should apologise for hitting her cousin in front of her, he supposed. But that hardly seemed a priority at the moment.
The sudden arrival of Sir George brought yet more chaos to the balcony. He came directly to his wife’s side, draping an arm protectively around her.
At least Elizabeth was well looked after. Sarah was still all alone in the dark.
“Elizabeth, what is going on out here?”
“Lord Darthford needs to be removed from your party, George. That’s what’s going on.” Whitton’s answer was muffled by the now-red kerchief. “He bloody well hit me.”
“It was no more than you deserved,” spat Elizabeth, and Daniel was surprised by the venom in the usually docile woman’s tone. “If anyone is leaving, it is you.”
Her husband put a steadying hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off.
“Why did you come, Michael? Didn’t you do enough damage in London? She did what you asked. She left. What more do you want from her?”
Daniel watched the tirade, more confused than ever. He wanted nothing more than to leave them all standing there and find Sarah, but he needed to hear this. He needed to finally understand what the hell had happened to her all those years ago in London.
And if what Whitton had said was true, then the consequences of their marriage would be far more severe than he had imagined.
Not for him, he didn’t give a damn about anything but being married to Sarah. But marriage to a duke would thrust her into a limelight that she wouldn’t welcome.
“I heard that Darthford had bought himself a hunting lodge in Landscastle. And it didn’t take a genius to figure out this is where Sarah would run to. I knew you’d be too soft to do your duty to your family and turn her away.”
The scowl he levelled at his cousin was enough to set Daniel’s teeth on edge, let alone the words he spoke. Or slurred, rather.
“I didn’t want anyone talking her into trying to return to Town. Not even dukes who deem themselves untouchable.” He sneered at Daniel but quickly paled when Daniel took a step toward him. “If she shows her face again, I’ll—“
“You’ll what, Michael?”
Daniel spun at the sound of Sarah’s voice behind him. He could see the sheen of tears on her face, and his anger grew tenfold. He made to approach her, but a quick shake of her head kept him in place.
With only the briefest glance at him, she told him that she wanted to fight this particular demon on her own. And given that he had no clue what was really going on, that seemed to be the best course of action.
Whitton tucked the destroyed kerchief into his pocket, and Daniel was pleased to see the mess he’d made of
the man’s face.
The sneer he aimed at his sister, however, was enough to make Daniel murderous again in only seconds.
“Why, I’ll do what I threatened, sister mine. I’ll destroy your reputation. Your mother’s. Your entire life.”
“She was your mother, too,” Sarah bit out. “How could you want to do that to her?”
“Why shouldn’t I? What sort of mother cuckolds her own husband then tries to pass some nobody’s brat off as the daughter of a Peer, hmm? You’re lucky I didn’t make the news public as soon as I found out.”
The confirmation of what he’d suspected hit Daniel square in the stomach, and he looked worriedly back at Sarah. She looked so small, so fragile standing there alone, facing her brother.
Yet the angle of her chin belied an inner strength that he could only admire.
This was why she’d run then. Because that damned idiot had made her. Now he knew the truth of the mystery.
***
Sarah couldn’t face the other people on the balcony or the silence that loomed after Michael’s words. She knew what she would see; pity from her relatives, shock and disgust from Daniel.
Daniel, who not twenty minutes ago had been holding her, kissing her, telling her he loved her.
Now she’d lose him forever.
She should have been the one to tell him.
Unable to resist, Sarah risked a brief glance, and her heart sank. He looked terrifying! More angry than she’d ever seen him, more fierce than she thought him capable of.
Her heart shattered at the sight.
Well, at least now she knew.
Before Michael’s arrival, she’d almost managed to convince herself that he could ignore the fact that she was illegitimate and therefore unmarriable.
But she was glad that particular illusion had been shattered. It wouldn’t have been fair to Daniel. And he deserved to be happy. He deserved to have a wife who wasn’t drowned in scandal.
Well, she couldn’t think about that now. There would be plenty of time later to cry her tears and mourn the loss of her one true chance at happiness.
She’d been running yet again to do just that. But the thought of leaving Daniel behind with Michael and him hearing her most shameful secrets without her even there was suddenly untenable.