I reached up, touching my cheek as if I could still feel her hand there as she told me I didn't represent a failed dream, only a new one.
Colby was busy putting more driftwood onto the fire as we chose a place to sit. We all had plenty of experience with beach fires. Colby, Jamie, Jay, and I used to have them all the time. We stopped last summer when we were caught enjoying one without a permit. Our fires were some of the only times we all hung out over the last few years.
Leaning forward, I dug my hands into the warm sand, feeling it shift back into place with every movement, each grain knowing where it belonged.
The golden sun hung just where the water met the sky on the horizon, casting colors across the darkening space.
“Want something to drink?” Jay asked.
“Sure.”
He got up to leave just as Colby walked towards me with Morgan Cook by his side. I didn't have anything against Morgan, but I didn't particularly like her either. She was one of those girls that everything seemed to come too easy for. Everyone wanted to be her friend. She was gorgeous with her cute blond bob and athletic build. No one could match her on the Soccer field. Her dad was a bigwig doctor at the hospital in town, yet never missed any of her games, sitting there with his perfect wife.
Was it wrong to be jealous? Was I a horrible person to wish she was a bitch? But no, she was so damn nice that I felt guilty for even disliking her a little bit.
“Callie,” Colby called. “Is this great, or what?” He gestured back to the fire that was now building rapidly.
“You did great, oh genius one.” I bent at the waist to give him a bow.
“You're just green that you don't get to be the hero of the final party before prison is back in session.”
“Yeah, if by green you mean ready to puke.” I mimed vomit coming out of my mouth and Colby swatted me on the side of the head.
After socking him in the stomach, I looked up to find Morgan grinning at us.
“Oh, go on.” She held her hands in front of her chest. “This'll be the most entertainment I get tonight.”
Colby straightened up at that, probably realizing fighting with his sister in front of one of the most popular girls in school wasn't the best of ideas.
“I can think of better entertainment.” He grinned.
“Ew, gross,” I yelled. “Now I really am going to puke. Dude, if that was flirting, you're in serious trouble.”
They exchanged a look, one I'd seen before.
“Wait.” I grabbed my brother's arm. “Did you start dating Morgan Cook and not tell me?”
He dragged me out of ear shot of her. “What's the big deal?”
“Um, how about she's out of your league.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You know what I mean. Different circles and all that.”
“In case you haven't noticed, California, me and you don't exactly have the same friends. Basically, I have them and you don't.”
“Shove off.” I stormed by him and walked right by Morgan without so much as a nod.
When Jay found me again, I was sitting by myself. Handing me a red cup filled with God knows what, he sat down and pulled me close. I leaned into him, knowing that once he left, my brother would be right. I'd be alone.
* * *
An hour passed, and then another. I'd never been one for drinking, preferring control over letting go, but that night I didn't care. I wanted to feel the freedom I always felt when I was out on the water. The willingness to bare my soul out amongst the waves. But you can't hold onto something like that. You can't call it up at will.
Out on the waves, it's a different world with different rules. Those rules didn't apply to solid ground.
My head buzzed, creating fog where there once was clarity. Jay and I walked down to a more secluded part of the beach, away from the noise of my classmates. Classmates I barely knew because I didn't let them know me.
I sat in Jay's lap facing him as he kissed my neck, rubbing his hands up and down my back. I placed my hands on each side of his face and tilted it up so I could kiss him long and hard. His lips were warm, a familiar comfort and needed distraction from life. He was leaving early tomorrow morning and I couldn't get that goodbye out of my head. I couldn't say it so I pressed harder against him, moving more quickly.
Jay was the only boy I'd ever kissed. The first time was a month after my mom died. He did it to get my mind off of her, saying he was being a friend. He'd used that tactic ever since. Whenever I'd be upset, he shocked me out of it with his lips. They were sneak attacks and they always worked. Then this summer, they ceased being surprises and became normal.
Now I had to try harder to clear my mind. He held me to him until I leaned back and gripped the edge of my shirt, pulling it over my head in one swift motion.
“Callie,” he whispered.
“Don't say it.” I threw my shirt to the sand and leaned in to kiss him again, cutting off further protest. His hands gripped my waist, but when I reached up to unclasp my bra, he took my hands in his, breaking his lips away from mine.
“Stop, Callie.”
At those two words, I scrambled off his lap and lunged for my shirt, desperate to cover up my humiliation.
“I don't know what your problem is.” I climbed to my feet, wanting to run away.
“My problem,” he huffed as he clambered up. “Is that my best friend is drunk and I'm not going to take advantage of her.”
“I'm not drunk.”
“Fine, but you aren't sober either.”
“Do you not want me?” I hated the pathetic sound of my voice as the doubt crept in. My whole life, I told myself I didn't have many friends because I didn't want to, but in the back of my mind lived the thread of self-pity.
“Oh God.” He scratched the back of his head, his black hair blending in to the night surrounding us. “I've wanted you as long as I can remember. But, Cal, I'm not going to be your escape. You love me, right?”
“Of course.”
He put a hand on each of my shoulders to look me in the eye. “But you aren't in love with me.”
My shoulders dropped.
“I don't think I love you that way either,” he continued.
“I think you should go.” My fuzzy thoughts were turning quickly to anger. I knew it wasn't right, but couldn't help myself.
“You're probably right. I have to leave early.” He took my hand and I let him lead me back to the party without another word.
I couldn't stand the thought of a long, drawn out goodbye in Jay's car as he dropped me off so I told him to leave without me.
He hesitated.
“My brother can drive me home.”
Another long moment passed and he leaned in for one final kiss. “You're my best friend,” he whispered. “Don't forget that.”
I forced a smile to my lips and nodded towards the parking lot, watching him walk away. Turning towards the crowd, I forced my way through. Jamie sat playing his guitar for a crowd of people, his surprisingly sweet voice drifting through the air.
Shaking my head at the girls trying to lean in closer to him, I tried to clear it of this crippling self-pity that was working its way into my psyche. I'd have given anything to be on my board.
I was standing on the water's edge, staring into the black foaming waves when Morgan walked up beside me.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I looked sideways, trying to gage the sincerity of her question. I couldn't tell what she wanted. Maybe it was the three drinks I'd had, or the fact that my best and only true friend just left, but I was tired of shunning everyone. Tired of my suspicion and disdain. I was tired of being alone.
“No,” I finally admitted, looking out at the sea once again. “I'm not okay.”
She tucked her hair behind her ears and nodded.
I walked forward, wanting one thing. The beach sloped into the water slowly, until it dropped off. I knew exactly where that point was and I dove in without a second thought. The wat
er encased me, molding to me to let me pass through, suspended, weightless. My jeans worked to drag me down so my hands unbuckled them and slid the stiff fabric down my legs, knowing my underwear wasn't any more revealing than my bathing suit.
When I came up for air, I noticed a group of people milling at the edge of the water, looking for me.
“Callie!” Morgan's voice rose above the rest.
I continued to float, giving my legs a slight kick to push me towards the beach. The waves tonight were small rollers that push me up as they churned. My hair floated out behind me, surrounding my head.
The noise grew louder as I moved closer to the shore.
“Come on, Callie,” Morgan said as soon as she spotted me. “You shouldn't swim at night.”
I didn't answer, but guilt seeped in. I didn't want to worry her. She didn't know there was less out here to hurt me than there was in there.
The warm water washed away the last bits of haze and I was more clear headed than I'd been all night. I stood up, completely forgetting I'd removed my jeans.
There were snickers coming from a few boys nearby as I waded in, making me feel a self-consciousness that hadn't been there only moments before. My legs stopped moving, refusing to come in any closer. I tugged on the edges of my shirt, trying to pull it down as much as I could. The laughter grew louder.
“Shut up.” I heard Morgan snap. They didn't listen.
“Hey,” a boy said, walking up next to her. Tony Andrews. “You're looking good tonight, Callie.”
When I didn't respond, he took it as a cue to keep going.
“If you want to hang out with me, I promise you won't need pants.” His friends laughed nearby. “Come on.” He stepped forward and grabbed my arm forcefully, pulling me out of the water.
A shiver ran up my spine as a breeze lifted the hair on my arms. It snapped me out of my embarrassment and I tried to twist my arm out of his grasp. When that didn't work, I kneed him in the leg and he let go.
“What the hell,” he yelled, his words slightly slurred. His friends had backed away, offering no help.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Morgan run off. So much for being friends.
“Leave me the hell alone,” I snarled.
“Cat's got bite.” Tony laughed.
“Come any closer and I'll show you how hard I can bite, and not the way I know you're thinking.”
Tony Andrews had always been a jerk, but now he was a drunk jerk.
He reached out and tried to grab me again, but I spun out of his reach.
“Hey asshole,” someone said behind Tony.
He turned into Jamie's fist.
Chapter Four
Jamie:
“Jamie!” Morgan Cook came running up to where I'd been sitting with a few girls from school, playing my guitar. “Do you know where Colby is?” She glanced behind her nervously and that was when I heard it.
“Callie,” Tony Andrews' unmistakable douche-like voice cut through the music. My eyes met Morgan's pleading gaze and my fingers stopped their strumming.
I brushed Amelia off, who'd had her hand on my shoulder and her chest pressed against my arm. A moment ago, it'd been making my night, but now I shoved my guitar at her and jumped to my feet. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd stormed across the beach, my fist connecting to Tony's face with a loud crunch. He hadn't seen me coming. I ducked a return punch and then tackled him to the ground. I wasn't nearly as wasted as Tony and had the upper hand, but he still got a few good hits in. People came running from the bonfire to see what was happening, but all I could hear was the anger rushing in my ears. I wanted to kill the dude for touching Cal, or trying to. My mind briefly registered Callie pulling on her sand covered jeans and backing away.
Others moved in to break up the fight, but I was on a roll, not stopping until my buddy Eric pulled me away.
“What's your damage, Daniels?” Tony snapped, wiping blood from his split lip.
I stepped close, looking him in the eye. Despite the size he had on me, I refused to be intimidated.
“Leave Callie the hell alone.”
Backing away, I looked around. Callie was gone.
“She went that way,” Morgan told me, her mouth hanging open in the same shock the rest of our classmates were showing.
I took off the way Morgan had pointed.
“Ass,” Tony said to my back. I let him get away with it because Callie was more important. The noise from the crowd disappeared amid the crashing of the waves and I knew why she'd come this far. Callie would never admit it, but the two of us understood each other. We always had. We may not exactly be friends, but that was by no choice of mine.
I found her sitting in the sand with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her small body trembled as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her sopping phone.
“For Christ's sake,” she yelled.
I watched her silently as she sniffed and buried her face in her arms. What was it about that girl that had me punching people and leaving girls like Amelia behind? I'd felt that way for years, not like she'd notice.
She froze suddenly, as if sensing me.
“What do you want?” she asked, lifting her head to look at me.
“That's not a thank you,” I responded. God, why did I always say things like that around her?
She let out a grunt. I chuckled, trying to hide my nervousness as I sat beside her.
“To tell you the truth,” I started, turning serious. “I was worried about you.”
“Since when do you care?”
Okay, maybe I deserved that.
I didn't answer her question, but only because I knew she'd laugh in my face if I said it out loud. I knew what she thought of me. She never tried to hide it. Her bluntness was one of the things I'd always liked about her.
“Senior year starts on Monday,” I said instead.
“No shit, Sherlock.”
I grinned in the dark. “Can we call a truce?”
“Why?” Skepticism clouded her voice.
“Well, I did just beat up the prized football team's tight end for you.”
That finally got her to laugh. “I meant why do you want a truce?”
“I've always wanted us to be friends. You're the one who hates me.” The truth of my words stung as I spoke them, but I hid it with a smirk.
“I'm not going to stop fighting you.”
“Good.” I laughed, glad she was considering it. “We couldn't have that.”
Her laugh was interrupted by uncontrollable shivering.
“I'm such an idiot,” I cursed myself.
“No argument here.” Her teeth chattered.
“You're freezing. Of course you are.” I pulled my shirt over my head.
“What're you doing?” She shrank away.
“Getting you out of your wet shirt at least.” Holding my dry one out to her, “Take this.”
She was so cold she didn't argue or even wait for me to turn away before stripping off her sopping shirt. Her skin shone in the dark and I had to bury my hands in the sand to keep from reaching out to touch her. Having mercy on me, she quickly threw my shirt on over her head. God, she looked good in that shirt.
Callie wasn't the usual kind of girl I'd dated and there'd been a lot of them. I wasn't what you'd call the relationship type. But there'd always been something about this girl that kept me around. It helped that her brother was my best friend and I spent more time at their house than my own.
I watched her, my eyes latching onto hers.
“Thank you,” she said finally.
“It's just a shirt.”
“No, I mean for earlier.”
My lips turned up. Maybe Callie and I could be friends after all. “Just make me a promise.”
“What?”
“Let's make this year epic.”
“Okay,” she said slowly.
“I mean it. This time next summer, we'll all be going our separate ways. I don't want to leave with any regrets. We can be great t
his year.”
I leaned forward, excitement spilling forth. Callie stared out across the water for a long moment before nodding her head and turning back to me. Something unspoken swirled in her eyes and I knew she needed this just as much as I did. And she knew I was right. We were young. We were free. We could do anything.
This was the feeling we both needed. What we'd only found one place. And now it was here, brought by the most unlikely of people.
She pursed her lips, still meeting my eyes and then finally grinned. “Epic, huh?”
Chapter Five
Callie:
“Callie, wake up,” Aunt Kat called for the third time. “We're going to be late.”
I rolled over with a groan and pressed my face into my pillow.
“I'm not kidding, kid!”
When she used “Kid” I knew she must be really annoyed. Most of the time she indulged my perpetual lateness, anything that reminded her of her sister, but I also had a tendency to push her over the edge.
At the sound of my door opening, I rolled back over and sat up rubbing my eyes. “You don't look like Kat.”
“Whew, that's a relief,” Colby said. The bed bounced as he threw his weight onto it.
“How are you so awake when you got home later than me last night?” I asked, yawning.
“It's my superpower.” He looked around my messy room, clothes strewn about, and raised an eyebrow. “I thought you cleaned this yesterday.”
“I did.”
“Okaaay. Why did Jamie drive you home last night? He missed the last half of the party. Frankly I'm surprised you guys got along long enough to sit in the same car.”
I grabbed my pillow from behind me and whacked him with it. “We aren't that bad.”
“Yes.” He took the pillow from me. “You are.”
It was obvious Morgan hadn't told Colby what happened and I didn't feel the need to mention it. I don't know why she kept it to herself, but I was grateful. Colby didn't need to get into a fight on the first day of senior year. Not like he was usually a fighter, but he was protective of me whether he always showed it or not.
We Thought We Were Invincible Page 2