by Beth Byers
“Course I did.”
“Why didn’t you clear your file out?”
Zee grinned evilly and said, “Well that would have been obvious. I have nothing to hide.”
“Did you take Az’s file?”
“Who me?”
Her face was utterly innocent, but I wasn’t sure I could believe it. Not at all. Especially with the way she’d said ‘who me?’ She might be wearing compression socks and orthotics, but there was nothing slow or elderly about the way she eyed me. I couldn’t be sure if she was covering for Az taking his own file, or if she was hiding something from me. Or maybe Jenny had hidden whatever she knew about Az. But why would Jenny protect only Az?
“I don’t think he killed Kyle,” I said with a tone that invited explanation.
“Why would he?” Zee asked, and there was no question about the challenge in her voice or the fact that she wasn’t going to be telling me a single thing. “Az is a good man.”
I thought about all the missing information on Az, about the way he’d big brothered Tara, and I had to wonder if he had something to do with Kyle’s death. It seemed…possible. He was protective. He was kind and he was good and he was a hard worker, and I liked him a lot. But, it seemed possible. I suppose if you worked hard enough at it—any of us could be the killer, and I didn’t buy it.
I didn’t say anything but Zee seemed to read my thoughts. “Don’t be stupid, Rose.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You thought it.”
“Az is a good man,” I said. It was all I said, and it meant a lot of different things. It meant that I like him and trusted him and that I could see him protecting Tara. If Az knew something about Kyle…I could see him protecting Tara. If it were bad enough…I could see what happened. A startling realization from the laid back cook, but there was something about him that said he’d do what had to be done and that he loved fiercely.
But…to be honest…making me think about this made me realize…I could see a dark side of myself too. I suppose…I wanted to think that I wouldn’t do the same. And perhaps what was saddest of all is that there was only one person I would be so very dangerous for. That made me sad.
“Who would you kill for?” I asked Zee.
She was a smart woman. Much savvier than you’d guess from seeing her deliver plates of pancakes and harassing the town people.
“Not very many people,” she said.
She didn’t ask me who I’d kill for and I was grateful for it. My mom. That was it. And even then…it was hard to imagine. How lonely my life had become before my second chance here in Silver Falls? I had made better friends in the few weeks I’d lived in Silver Falls than I had in all my years answering phone calls for the bank.
“Do we need to talk to Az?”
“Will you be happy if we don’t?”
I thought about it for a moment and then I shook my head.
“I want to be making cake today,” I sighed, glancing around her beautiful yard with the cats in the window and the trees in the back. The grass in the fields surrounding the cottage was high, and it smelled fresh and amazing—like countryside with a tinge of sea salt. “And to be considering the next event night. And to be…not having my life ruined by the murder of some poor kid. Why would anyone kill this kid?”
“I’ll talk to Az with you later. Tomorrow,” Zee said. “Out girl. I’m going to bring cookies to Kyle’s mother and see what I can find out. Maybe he was suicidal. Maybe he stole drugs from some relative and took insulin by mistake. That wouldn’t be surprising, would it? We’ll talk to him tomorrow. Be to work early, Az’ll be there chopping and dicing.”
Chapter 10
I rolled down the window as Daisy and I drove away and let the wind run over my skin. She stuck her little head out the window, standing on her back legs, and letting her tongue loll. The smell of the ocean and the rain filled the car. I picked up my phone and saw that Mattie had texted me back. I had invited her to lunch before, and she was game. I wasn’t sure what to expect from lunch given that I’d hidden her and Jane’s file under a blanket in the back of the car.
It took way less time to reach downtown Silver Falls, and I pulled up outside the spa wishing I had thought to message Jane or have Mattie do it.
“Hey,” I said as Mattie opened the car door and jumped inside. “When’s your next appointment?”
She glanced over, raised her brows, and said, “3:00 pm.”
Given the expression on her face, she’d picked up on my layered thoughts. My mind was going 1000 miles an hour, and everything was askew with it.
“How would you feel about Blackfish?”
“In Lincoln City?”
I nodded and then said, “I have some things to say.”
“As long as there will be drinks.”
“You think Jane is available?”
Mattie paused and then pulled out her phone. She spoke for a moment and then turned to me and said, “She’s coming.”
I drove towards the clinic and we grabbed Jane and then I dropped Daisy off at my cottage. I opened the back of the car and grabbed the files and then got back into the car. I handed them both a file and then started the car again. The cottages were empty again, but the gardener had arrived.
“What’s going on?” Jane asked as she opened her file slowly. She paused as she glanced over the papers and then said, “What the…”
She flipped through the file and then asked, “Have you read this?”
I glanced over as I drove down Highway 101 and admitted, “I wanted to.”
“But you didn’t?” Her voice was shaking, and I was desperate to know what she was worried about. But curiosity didn’t just kill cats—it killed friendship, and I liked Jane enough to let her have her secrets.
“I didn’t,” I said. I glanced into the review mirror and saw that her gaze was fixated on the file which was trembling in her hands.
She looked up and met my gaze, but I had to repeat myself when I saw the look in her eyes, “Jane,” I said gently, “I did not read your file.”
I glanced at Mattie and then said, “Either of your files.”
Mattie tossed hers into her purse as she said, “My mom would tell you most of this stuff.”
There was something in her voice that said that the file had some things that her mom wouldn’t know.
“Was she wrong about any of it?”
“Why does she have these?” Jane asked. “What the…has anyone else seen this?”
I took a breath and slowed as I drove into Lincoln City. Blackfish Cafe was right off the main drag through Lincoln City and easy to spot with the skeletal fish on the side of the dark grey building.
“I went into 2nd Chance to find the employee files and came across…a lot of these. It’s not just you. As far as I can tell…it’s anyone who peaked Jenny’s interest.”
“And she just left them?”
I nodded. “I read the one on Tara and Zee, but…I wasn’t sure what to believe. So, when I saw your names…I thought…I could give them to you and then see if what was in there was true.”
“But you didn’t read it?” Jane’s voice was a little stringent, but I realized that Mattie wasn’t surprised. “Why would she keep these? Why would Jenny make them, keep them, and then…then…just leave them. What if you were horrible?”
She knew whatever Jane was hiding. I didn’t expect the secret, but the fact that it existed made me sad. They were the closest things I had to friends, and I want to be trusted.
“I didn’t read it,” I said clearly and precisely. “I didn’t even open them. Either of them.”
Jane’s hands were shaking as she started meticulously tearing up the file.
Mattie and I waited until Jane was done and then we headed into the restaurant. Jane headed to the bathroom while we were seated, and I immediately ordered a drink for each of us entirely chosen by the name—Manhattan Mission. I didn’t know what it was, but it sounded like something Jane could use as
soon as she returned to the table.
I ordered myself a cup of clam chowder to help sop up the booze. I didn’t need to look at the menu, I wanted scallops that was all I needed to know. If they came wrapped in bacon that would be ok too.
Jane was back a few minutes later, and she took a long sip of her drink before she said, “It isn’t…well…it’s just my secret, you know? It isn’t something I would kill over.”
I nodded and took a bite of my soup. I didn’t want to drink on an empty stomach, so I hurried through my chowder even though it was my favorite ever.
“I didn’t think you killed Kyle. I never even considered it,” I said. “I was going to talk to my staff about the fact that Kyle died and that we were suspects. I was looking for employee addresses not…what I found.”
“Who does that?” Jane demanded, taking another large drink of her Manhattan. “Why would anyone keep files like those? Even if you had figured out what people were hiding, why would you write it down where anyone could read it?”
I glanced at Mattie who was paler and determinedly putting away her own drink.
“What concerns me,” I said, “is not finding a file for some people. People who you’d think would have one. I might go back in and arrange things. I don’t want to keep them…but until the murderer is found, I’ll be locking the office and waiting to see if…maybe…I don’t know. I don’t want to read people’s files, but I feel like…with the diner and the people who work there under the microscope…I’m not sure I can set aside those files.”
Mattie and Jane were silent for a moment. Mattie glanced down at her bag where her file was poking out. Jane didn’t answer, but she drained the rest of her drink. When the waitress came back, Jane ordered chowder, coffee, and another drink. I didn’t say anything even though I was worried for her. Whatever that file brought to the front of Jane’s mind took away the carefree, kind doctor and brought out someone who seemed to need a dose or two of anxiety meds and possibly a good run to work out some stress.
“What do you know about Az?” I asked Jane specifically because I thought she could use the distraction, and I was worried about her.
She blinked for a minute and then said, “He’s a good guy. Quiet. Good cook. Jenny’s Diner really got to be better when he started working there. It was good before, but it got better.”
I played with my spoon and then finally took my own sip of my manhattan. It was lovely, and I enjoyed it as I considered what to say next. I glanced between the two of them and realized that I trusted them with Az.
“He doesn’t have a file,” I said. “I asked Zee about it—she left me with the idea that she might have taken it.”
“Why would she? She didn’t take hers, right?” Mattie’s finger was tapping against her glass.
“Right,” I said. “But I read hers. Zee is what she is. She’s not hiding anything except a terrifying ceramic cat collection.”
Mattie snorted and finished her drink. We ordered our actual meals from the waitress and Jane seemed to calm down a bit. I was sure she was stressed, but given that I wasn’t acting any differently, she either accepted that I knew her secret and was ok with it or I really hadn’t read her file.
“Why are you investigating this?” Jane asked. She sounded just a little perturbed. “Don’t you trust Simon?”
“I have spent the vast majority of the last few years saving up and working towards what I have at 2nd Chance,” I said, avoiding the subject that I had been very lucky in inheriting some money, “This is something that I can't just…ignore. It could ruin my business because of what’s happening with Kyle’s murder.”
Jane ordered a third manhattan as our food was delivered and then, once the waitress left said, “That won’t happen.”
I didn’t bother arguing. She had the history of being a long-time resident of the town that I didn’t have. Just because she and Mattie had accepted me quickly didn’t mean that the rest of Silver Falls had. Besides, it wasn’t just me, it was Az and Zee and Tara who I cared about. It was the people I hoped to hire soon who’d benefit from a job in a seasonal small town. It was Daisy and my mom who were trusting me to find happiness.
I sipped my drink and played with my plate. The scallops were amazing but talking about murder and secrets had left my stomach upset. I was craving my kitchen and the calm that comes from baking and playing with recipes. I hated, hated, HATED that things had come to this and that this poor kid had died.
But what I was realizing I hated, even more, was that it was really messing with my life. It was bad enough that the poor kid had died, but I wanted to shout about how it was ruining things for me, but I didn’t want to be that person. It made me feel like such a jerk to be inconvenienced by a kid’s death. Except that I didn’t necessarily feel inconvenienced. I felt like a tragedy was pushing itself into my life and threatening my happiness.
Goodness Rose, I thought, stop it. We finished our lackluster lunch and as we got back into the car, Mattie said, “It’s accurate. You want to know if Jenny’s files were right? As far as I go, they were spot on.”
“I didn’t read it,” I told Mattie again, but I glanced beyond her to Jane.
“We know,” Mattie said. “I have an appointment, let’s head back.”
I pulled a U-turn from our street spot and we went north towards Neskowin and Silver Falls. When I dropped them off, I went and got Daisy and we went into 2nd Chance. I had a lot to think through, and I wanted to talk to both Tara and Az, but I thought they’d be more comfortable if Zee were there. And truthfully, I thought that Zee would keep the others from hedging. She knew both of them well, if she thought they were involved in a murder, she wouldn’t protect them. But if we had a united front…maybe they’d feel safe?
I thought about how much I hated being questioned and doubted it. Regardless, I sent a text to everyone asking them to come early. Az replied within minutes, Zee replied with a curse word, and Tara didn’t reply at all.
Chapter 11
I finished making three cakes for the diner around midnight. I made a carrot, a triple chocolate, and a lemon and raspberry chiffon. They were all towering layer cakes, and I started to feel a little better when I began frosting the last of them. It was just so soothing to spread buttercream around and watch the lazy susan move against the force of the still knife. Each cake was taller than the last and the details were extra amazing in sugared flowers and a pile of fresh raspberries. And, I very much should have gone to bed before I made them. I needed to be to the diner by 5:30 am, but I couldn’t sleep. I hadn’t even intended to bake, but I couldn’t settle my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that poor, dead kid except he always seemed to land right into a plate of meatballs with his dead eyes staring at the ceiling.
I was never quite sure in those horrible little dreams if the red by his mouth was spaghetti sauce or blood, but either way—in the dark—I was also not sure I’d ever be able to eat spaghetti again. I decided in the darkness to take spaghetti off the menu for a while which made me sad. It had been one of the recipes I’d first played with back in my tiny apartment when I’d been trying to find joy in anything. Anything at all. Taking it off the menu didn’t make me as sad as the death of the poor kid but I regretted it all the same. The 2nd Chance Diner was being tainted by what had happened—-and it should be. It should be, but I wasn’t sure how to reconcile my mourning over the diner with the mourning over the kid.
I flopped onto my back and stared up at the ceiling of the little cottage. It had become home, and I loved it. Given that I’d rented it for 6 months, I needed to make some other living choices, but I didn’t want to. I loved the little cottage, I loved the window cracked with the sound of the waves and the wind, the smell of sea salt, it was almost as if the scent of rain never faded with the ocean just outside.
I tapped my feet against each other, and my legs were wiggling against my will. The cottage bedding had been replaced by my own, and I snuggled into the Egyptian cotton sheets, flopping my
arm over my eyes as if that would help. It didn’t. I rose, and it was so cold, I slipped my tennis shoes on.
In the kitchen, I started a pot of chamomile tea and I grabbed my coat to ward off the chill in the air. But…after a moment…I turned off the burner. Daisy had followed me faithfully to the kitchen and was watching me from the little bed I’d put in the corner.
“Want to go outside?”
She blinked sleepily at me, but when I grabbed the leash, she came trotting over.
“Hey,” I said to her. “Maybe some sea air.”
I scoffed at myself at that one. I walked out of the cottage and stepped onto the dirt path between the beachfront property and the little paths that made their way down to the sandy beaches. I randomly selected going towards the moon. It was fall, and therefore the off-season. Given it was also a weekday, I could very well have been the only person around.
It was a little lonely. Maybe it should have been creepy, but it was peaceful. In Gresham and Portland, you never felt alone. Silver Falls wasn’t nearly so crowded. I took deep breaths and tried to think sleepy thoughts as we walked hoping that stretching my legs would get the wiggles and antsy feelings out.
It wasn’t working, so I found a rock and sat on it. Daisy pawed my knee until I lifted her into my arms. I closed my eyes, letting the wind wash away the feel of the day and my worries.
“What are you doing out here?”
I looked up. There was a woman in the darkness, and I couldn’t see her face.
“Just going for a walk,” I said. “I’m a little…”
I trailed off, and there was a mean grunt. I couldn’t help but glance over, surprised. I searched the darkness, but I couldn’t make out a face.
“What you are doing is trespassing.” She flicked a flashlight on and shined it right onto my face.
I flinched back and tried to escape it, but every time I turned away, she followed me with it.