Comfort Zone

by Missy Johnson

  Getting to my feet, I walk back to the room. I don’t want to let this fester and become the thing that breaks us. I just hope she’ll give me another chance, because the thought of losing her…

  She doesn’t speak when I walk into the room. I walk over to the bed and sit down next to her. I reach for her hand, which she lets me take. Just the feel of her skin against mine relaxes me. I stare at her. When she doesn’t, I reach over and gently cup her chin, forcing her to acknowledge me. She scowls at me, which for some reason, makes me smile.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.”

  “Why are you sorry?” I ask.

  She frowns. “Good point. I take that back.”

  I chuckle and lean over until my lips are touching hers. That’s the best feeling in the world. She puts her hands on my face, running her fingers over my stubble. I swallow, my mouth devouring hers as I lay her back on the bed. When my phone rings, I laugh, because what else can I do? I sit back up and check my phone. Jake’s name flashes on the screen.

  “Jake.”

  Becca looks up. She watches me as I answer. I sigh and rub my forehead. I’m not sure I can handle anymore drama today. Maybe he just wants to wish me a goodnight.

  “Jake. What’s up?”

  “I can't do this, Liam.”

  “What do you mean?” My stomach clenches at the sound of his voice. I don’t need to see him to know his headspace isn’t right. “Where are you?” I ask. “I’ll come down now.”

  I glance at Becca, who frowns. She leans forward, trying to listen to the conversation.

  “Is something specific bothering you?” I add.

  “No, it’s everything. The wedding, Brooke. Becca.” He laughs, but there’s no humor in his voice. “I can't get married, not while my life is such a mess.”

  “Jake calm down and—”

  “Don't tell me to fucking calm down,” he snaps.

  “Then tell me where you are,” I growl.

  “I'm at the resort.”

  “What room?” I ask.

  “Four two two.”

  “Okay. Just sit tight and I’ll be there soon.”

  The second I hang up, Becca is on me for answers.

  “Is he okay?” she asks. She frowns at me. “What’s he talking about, he can’t get married?”

  “He’ll be fine. Jake is just having a little bit of a breakdown, but he'll be fine. It's just the night before getting married jitters.”

  “Are you sure?” Becca eyes me suspiciously. “That doesn't sound like Jake.”

  “Every guy goes through it.” I nod at her phone. “He’s about to get married,” I say with a shrug. “It’s a big change.”

  The truth is, I have no idea what is going on with Jake. The last thing I want is for Becca to be stressed out too. Not only that, he said Becca’s name. Her turning up and trying to help might push him over the edge.

  “Okay, I’ll come too.”

  “Maybe it's best if you stay here. Come up later?” I suggest, buying myself time to find out what the problem is and why Becca was mentioned.

  “Okay. Can you say hi to him from me?” Becca asks. “Tell him I miss his face?”

  “Sure.” I pause, wanting to get something else off my chest before I leave. “I really am sorry. The thing with my father—”

  “It's okay, we'll talk about it later.” I smile at her then leaned down and kiss her.

  #

  Jake is three floors above we are, in exactly the same position. It takes him a few minutes to answer my knock. Even then, he doesn’t really acknowledge me. He just swings the door open and waves his hand at me to come in. I walk over to his bed and sit down, watching him as he shuts the door behind me. He leans against it and closes his eyes, sliding down to the floor.

  “Jake, what’s going on?” I ask him.

  I’m really worried about him, because I’ve never seen him like this.

  “Nothing,” he mutters.

  “What you mean, nothing?” I laugh. “Look at you. This isn’t nothing. You’re a wreck.”

  “Brooke kicked me out.”

  Wow. This is more serious than I thought.

  “Really?” Shit, what do I say to that? “Why did she kick you out?”

  “It doesn't matter,” he murmurs. “The wedding is off and she kicked me out.”

  “That's crap. It does matter,” I argue.

  “No, it doesn’t,” he glares at me. “She doesn't know what she's talking about, which makes this whole thing fucking bullshit.”

  “Jake, talk to me. You’re not making any sense.” I sigh and lean forward, softening my approach. “I can't help you if you keep running me in circles. No judgment. Tell me what happened.”

  He gets to his feet and paces the room, resting his hands behind his head.

  “Jake,” I snap loudly. “Sit down.”

  Startled, he jerks his head in my direction. “She thinks I'm in love with Becca.”

  Jake in love with Becca? I can’t even think about that being true.

  “Are you in love with her?” I ask quietly.

  “No,” he scoffs. “Of course I'm not. Brooke’s had this thing about Becca since the beginning. Since we first started going out.”

  And there’s no reason for her to have gotten this into her head?”

  Jake glares at me. “What are you suggesting?”

  “Nothing, I’m just trying to figure this out,” I assure him. I don’t want to make things worse by making him angry.

  “Ask Becca. She’d know if I was love with her, right?” He stops pacing and walks over to the window, staring out across the skyline. When he turns back to me, he’s more in control. More like the Jake I know. “I’m not in love with Becca. I promise.”

  I nod. My heart pounds in my chest as relief floods my body. It hits me just how much I needed him say that. Then I realize why. Because I'm falling in love with her.

  Holy fuck.

  I take a moment, and then force myself to focus on Jake. He sits down next to me and leans forward. He exhales slowly, then lifts his head and turns to me.

  “She found a letter,” he murmurs.

  “A letter?” I repeat with a frown.

  Jake nods. “I wrote it years and years ago—”

  To Becca.

  “Okay, stop for a second. So you're not in love with her now. Have you ever been in love with Becca?”

  “Jake?” The suspense is killing me.

  He slowly lifts his head, his eyes meeting mine.

  “Isn't all that matters that I'm not in love with her now?”

  Shit. Jake used to be in love with Becca? Did Becca know?

  “Those feelings are long gone, they have been for years,” he insists. He stares at me, pleading with me to believe him. “I’ve moved on, but Brooke won’t see that.” He shakes his head. “This is so fucked up.”

  You’re telling me.

  “Okay, you’re not in love with her now. That's good,” I say.

  I feel like I got a conflict of interest even being here, like I should bow myself out hand the reins over to someone who is more impartial to this situation, but how can I do that to Jake? He trusts me and he trusts my advice.

  A gentle knock sounds on the door. I stiffen, because even before Jake answers it, I know it's Becca. Sure enough, when he swings the door open, she stands there holding beer and pizza. Jake looks at me, like his not sure how to react.

  “Don't be angry,” Becca says. “I didn't call beforehand because you haven’t spoken to me for weeks and I thought you tell me not to come—or just ignored me like you have been doing.”

  “I'm sorry,” Jake says. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

  I cringe, because this just got awkward. I check my phone and curse. Dad.

  “I have to go and take care of something,” I mumble.

  Jake glares at me, but I pretend not to notice. Maybe talking to her will do him good. The only way Jake can move forward is if he gets closure form Becc
a. I trust him when he says that there's no feelings there and I don't doubt for a second that this news is going to completely shock Becca.

  “Okay,” Becca smiles at me. “Good luck. I’ll see you later?”

  “I hope so,” I smirk as I lean down to kiss her. “Considering we’re sharing a room.”

  I walk through the foyer, my stomach churning with anxiety. It’s not just about Jake and Becca, but also my father. And my life. Even my career at the moment feels uncertain. He’s just another problem that I have to sort out, for Becca’s sake, if nothing else. I glance at my phone. It's almost an hour since he turned up at our door, so I walk into the bar and look around.

  He's waiting there, already and judging from the empty two glasses next to him, he's been waiting for a while. I slide into the booth opposite him.

  “Okay. I'm here.”

  He looks up and smiles at me. It's a look that I almost don't recognize from him.

  “Why are you here? I ask. Not because I'm being rude, I'm genuinely curious if this is a coincidence, or if he’s following me.

  “Jake invited me to the wedding, and I said yes.”

  “He invited you?”

  “Yes. You know I had a soft spot for Jake when he was younger.” He sighs and looks at me. “Liam—”

  “No, it’s just that you barely have time for me these days, so I guess I'm just surprised that you’d drop everything for Jake's wedding.”

  He glances down at his hands, quiet for a moment and then he looks me in the eye.

  “I'm not saying that I’ve been the perfect father. Far from it, but don't you ever think that I don't love you. I don’t do things to try and hurt you. I always want what's best for you.” He sits back and examines me, his arms crossed. “Why does it worry you if I’m here for Jake? You don’t want a relationship with me,” he frowns.

  “It’s all I ever wanted,” I say with a bitter laugh. “Nothing was ever good enough for you.” I sigh. “If you mean any of that, then leave Becca alone.”

  “Leave her alone?”

  “Yes. Just leave her out of this. She's broken school rules, but I broke the rules too. Deal with me.” I stare at him for a long time. “How do you even know about us?” I ask. “You weren’t shocked when you saw her.”

  He stares at me for a moment. Do you mean aside from the video?”

  “Video?”

  Dad laughs. He points at my phone. “Google Sombrero Girl. It’s all over the Internet.”

  I swallow a laugh. Secretly happy that someone recorded it.

  “That’s you at the end,” Dad points out.

  I smirk. “One point for captain obvious.” Then I frown, watching the video again. “This still doesn’t tell you that we’re…together,” I finish.

  Who do you think administrates the administration Liam?” He stares at me, a trace of a smile on his lips. “Do you think you're the only one he gets fed those IM’s

  Fuck. “So every message I saw…you saw too?”

  I laugh when he nods. I can’t help it. Becca would die all over again if she knew that.

  “When did you realize that there was something going on?” I ask, still smiling.

  “After the bachelor party.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  He sighs. “Because if I did that, I’d have to discipline you. And despite what you think, I don’t want that.”

  Wow.

  “What do you want?” I frown.

  “My son?” he finally says. “I want a relationship with you. I want to tell you that although I’ve had trouble admitting it in the past, I am proud of you. And I do love you.

  I cough, a strange feeling rising in my chest. I’m not sure how to respond to that. I think what I need to do is think about what I want, before I say anything I might regret.

  “I have to get back to Becca.” I pause, I need give him something. “Maybe we can catch up sometime for a drink?” I suggest.

  He nods, trying not to appear too enthusiastic.

  “That would be great.” I nod and give him a tight smile, then I get up.

  “Liam?”

  “Yes?”

  “No more games. I promise. Your job is secure for as long as you want it.”

  “And professional development? Becca?” I ask, frowning at him.

  “As I said, no more games.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Becca

  “So.” I glance at Jake, who fiddles with the cap of his beer. Anything to avoid looking at me. “You want to tell me about it?”

  After Liam left, Jake completely shut down. I’ve never felt this awkward around him and it’s a feeling I hate. I just want my friend back, the one I could talk to about anything. The thing I loved most about our friendship was how comfortable we were with each other. But this isn’t comfort. We’re so far out of the comfort zone at the moment that it’s scaring me. If I knew that the problem was, then I could at least try to fix it.

  “Jake, will you fucking talk to me?”

  I stand up and walk over to the bed and plonk myself down next to him. I take his hand, but he pulls back and mutters something under his breath about space.

  “Jake, look at me,” I demand. His eyes dart to me and he stares right into my eyes, but I don’t recognize him. “What's going on with us?”

  “Nothing, I—”

  The door opens and both Jake and I look up. Brooke stands there, her eyes wide with shock.

  “Are you kidding me?” she whispers.

  Oh fuck. Even when I’m trying to help, I seem to mess things up.

  She stares at Jake for the longest time, then she glances at me. If I thought she hated me before…I shudder. This makes everything else look like we were best friends. He eyes flash with anger as she glares at me.

  “You fucking bitch. This is what you wanted all along, isn't it? To ruin our wedding and break us up, so you can have him all to yourself. Well, you deserve each other. I’m done.”

  I sit there in shock as she storms. I have no idea what just happened. I glance at Jake, who doesn’t look as shocked as me. Like he was expecting it. He might be okay with her talking like that, but I’m not. I stand up. Jake reaches from my arm, but I shrug him off.

  “Wait, Becca.”

  “No,” I snap. “I'm doing what I should've done a long time ago.”

  I find Brooke walking through the gardens. She doesn’t hear me come up to her, so I’m able to swoop in front and cut her off. She glares at me.

  “What the fuck is your problem?” I say.

  “My problem? Are you kidding me…” She laughs. Then her laughter fades and she stares at me. “You don’t know, do you?”

  “Know what?” I snap. “I know you’ve had it in for me ever since we met, and I know you’re a bitch. I was nothing but nice to you, but it was never good--.”

  “Jake is in love with you.”

  “Jake?” I laugh hysterically, because that’s the funniest thing I've ever heard. And then I realize she’s serious. “What? No, you’ve got the wrong idea. Jake's not in love with me.”

  She smiles sadly, tears forming in her eyes.

  “Maybe we should talk,” she says.

  We sit in the bar, opposite each other. She hasn't said anything yet and neither have I. I'm waiting for her, because she seems to be going through some kind of moment that I really don’t want to interrupt. She looks up and gives me a sad smile. Ironically, I think it’s the first genuine smile she’s ever given me.

  “I found a letter that he wrote to you a long time ago.”

  “What letter?”

  “He never sent it, but it was basically a love letter. He was very detailed about how he felt about you.”

  She studies the top of the table, running her fingernail over someone’s initial, indented into the surface.

  “He was also very clear that I was a distraction.”

  “When was this?” I still can’t get my head around it. Jake was in love with me? How did I not see
that?

  “Just after he and I.” She stops to compose herself. “Just after we became serious.”

  Oh shit. That was around five or six weeks into their relationship.

  I think back about our friendship. Were their signs that I missed? Did I lead him on? I shake my head, because this is impossible to understand. The number of times I’d slept in his bed. God, a few times, I’d even been naked. That was me being comfortable with my friend. I had no idea he was in love with me.

  He probably wacked himself off, while I was lying there.

  I shake my head. I can’t think back and analyze things. I’ll go crazy.

  “When did you find the letter?” I ask her.

  “About six months after he wrote it. I was completely invested by then.” She laughed. “It was during the move.”

  “Why did you stay, then?” I ask softly.

  “Because he told me he was over you and I believed him.”

  “But now you don’t?”

  “No. I don’t. When he found out that you were seeing Liam, he changed. Just seeing the shift in his behavior, the way he got his back up whenever your name was mentioned. I think it made me realize that he wasn't over you at all. I think he actually believed that he was over you, but he wasn’t only kidding himself. He was kidding me, too.”

  I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything. Instead, I play with the bottom of my glass, wishing…hell, I don't know what the hell I'm wishing.

  “I have to go,” I mutter, standing up.

  “Okay.” Brooke smiles at me. “I think I’ll stay here for a bit. Becca?

  I look back at her.

  “Make sure he’s okay for me?”

  I nod. “I will.”

  #

  My whole body feels numb as I walk back to the hotel. I keep going over it in my mind, but I don’t get anywhere. I need to speak to Jake. I need him to tell me what is going on, or I’ll lose my mind trying to figure it out.

  I stand outside his room, trying to work up the courage to knock. What keeps stopping me is the voice in the back of my head asking the question…what if he is in love with me? I frown, then step forward and loudly knock three times. Jake opens the door. He looks into my eyes, long enough to confirm that I know.

  “She told you, didn't she?”