“Good. I will help you put it on.” He opens the vest up then loops it through my arms. When he moves around to my front, he slides his palm down over the opening and I swear the vest seals itself. I touch the place afterwards, not feeling any difference in the material.
“How did you do that?”
“It’s just a family trick.”
“I feel like this just moulded to me. It fits perfectly.” I’m amazed. He’s right when he says it feels like a second skin. It’s lightweight and I don’t feel any added heat from it. “Are you sure this is bulletproof? It doesn’t feel very thick; how does it stop a bullet?” I ask, already knowing it has twice stopped Marduke from being shot.
“It’s the strongest material we have back home. It will protect you.”
“I wish we had enough for all three of us,” I mutter, looking back over at Logan.
“So do I.” He, too, looks down at Logan, and then we both turn back to each other at the same time. I’m instantly aware of how close we are right now. If we were to both lean in a little, we could easily kiss.
Where did that thought come from? I’ve never thought about kissing a guy before, not ever. Sure it’s happened, but it’s always felt like a surprise to me. I have never given it enough thought to expect something like that to happen. So why am I thinking about kissing Marduke? Why am I hoping he will make the first move?
His warm breath touches my forehead as I watch him slowly creeping downwards, my feet propping me up on my tiptoes without me consciously deciding to do that. Our lips move closer as excitement and anticipation buzz through me. There is a magnet pulling us together, an attraction that suddenly feels overwhelming.
I reach out and touch his chest, feeling the fast beating of his heart under my touch. He’s just as excited as I am.
Is this really about to happen? Are we going to kiss? This will change everything.
“Mattie?” Logan cries, breaking the spell that is wrapped around us.
Marduke quickly leans away from me, his eyes averting from mine as he clears his throat. I take a quick step back from him, needing the space, embarrassed by my thoughts. At best, we’re just friends. Nothing more, right?
“Hey, Logan. I’m here,” I assure him when I notice he’s upset.
“I’m hungry and I want to go home,” he complains, tears welling in his eyes.
“I’m hungry, too. Let’s eat.”
I avoid Marduke as I go through our bag and pull out the remaining drinks and food. I give the two empty bottles to Marduke to fill while I stay close to Logan as we eat and drink.
That night, I ask Logan about a hundred different questions. I find this distracts him and keeps his mind off his dad and the invasion. Logan falls asleep talking, and just like last night, he sleeps between Marduke and me.
Marduke stays quiet through most of our talk. Even though it’s too dark to see each other, I swear his eyes are on me the entire time.
I’m determined that tomorrow we’ll find Hank and Lisa. I can’t allow the thought that we might never find them, or that they might have been attacked or killed, enter my mind. That couldn’t have happened. They have to be all right, and tomorrow we will find them.
I drift off to sleep, not aware that in just a couple of days my life will forever change again, and my remaining sanity will be tested beyond anything I’ve had to face yet.
Chapter 13
Marduke
“You said it’d just be for last night! Now take it off me,” Mattie hisses at me.
“I don’t see why you don’t just wear it for one more day. You said before it wasn’t bothering you,” I argue, watching as she paces in front of me. Logan is sitting at our feet, hugging his knees to his chest as he watches us disagree.
“It’s not mine, Marduke; it’s yours. I feel wrong wearing it.”
“Just wear it for today, please?” I beg, needing her to agree to this. My father would kill me himself for giving my argu away; it’s priceless and rare. For me to give it to anyone outside our family, and another species no less, would be an offense punishable by death. Regardless, knowing how fragile Mattie is, knowing that she has nearly died only a couple of days ago from the hinema, I just can’t stand the thought of losing her. I need to do this.
“I can’t even figure out how to get this thing off me! It’s like it’s moulded itself to my body. It won’t even lift off. How did you open this thing? Or close it for that matter?” She scratches along the material, trying to find a way out of it.
I’ve feared having to explain this. How can I tell her that it will only react to my touch? That if I don’t ever take it off her, then it won’t ever come off? I’m positive there is nothing similar on Earth to that.
“It’s a secret. Please, just wear it? I think our time is better spent trying to find Hank and Lisa rather than standing here arguing.” I use Hank and Lisa against her, knowing she’s desperate to find them.
“Fine, but this thing comes off tonight, or I’ll cut it off me.” she snaps, storming off into the forest.
Logan rushes to catch up while I take the bag left behind. We’ve filled up the bottles with water, and right now, we have six cans that we can’t open and one left that we can. There are several spare bullets and the rifle is safely stowed away in the bag with the handgun tucked away in the waist of Mattie’s pants.
I take one last, quick look back at the waterfall, knowing I’ll miss this little slice of perfection. I know I should miss it because of the access to fresh water, or the fact that we all finally got to bathe and clean our clothing a little, but I’ll miss it because of the torture it has put me through.
I’ve been taught how to withstand torture—it was part of my training back home. I spent days without food or water. I was beaten and abused. I survived it because I knew I had to, and I guess—deep down—I knew I wouldn’t die. But seeing Mattie wearing so little, leaving absolutely nothing to my imagination, was a different type of torture. It was a type I’ve never been trained for.
I know I’m attracted to her. I find her smile beautiful, her laugh infectious, her bravery and strength fascinating, and just being around her is incredibly alluring to me. I’ve never believed I’d feel more for her. However, when she stripped down, something broke inside me. I had to dig my heels into the ground to stop myself from going to her. Even when I got into the water, I needed as much space between us to assure myself I wasn’t going to do anything. Having Logan with her helped my resolve until he left her alone, then I crumbled and had to be near her.
Back home, a mate has been chosen for me. It’s never occurred to me to care about her, or at least, it hasn’t occurred to me that I could care for her. I haven’t considered if I’d have feelings for her or if she would have them for me. I just knew that we would be expected to produce children and honour my family name.
I have never been given any lessons on how to act around females, never been told how I should feel or what to do when in their presence. I suppose that wouldn’t matter too much since this planet has different customs, but I wish I would have had some idea of things.
When I stood in front of her, doing up my argu, I was desperate to kiss her. Covering her up with the vest felt like a waste to me, although one that was definitely necessary. I tried not to look at her breasts, but my eyes were helpless. It took every ounce of self-control I possessed to stop myself from rushing forwards and kissing her. Not only because I have no idea what it would mean for us to take things between us to that level, but because I don’t even know how Mattie feels. I swear she was looking at my lips. I know she leaned in towards me. Was it because she wanted me to kiss her? Or was she just curious about me?
Then there is the fact that I’m not even human. I couldn’t possibly do anything with Mattie without telling her, and to tell her the truth would mean I’ll lose her. If that isn’t reason enough, my father’s disapproval also weighs heavily on me. I might not ever get off this planet alive, but the thought that I could disho
nour my family by acting on these urges stops me cold.
I’ve been raised my entire life to respect my father and our family history—you’re nothing if you’re not remembered. If I dishonour my family, then I will be written out. I wouldn’t have existed. I’ll be a painful memory to those around me, never spoken of until I’m finally forgotten as new generations arrive.
I’ve risked everything just by placing my argu on Mattie. If she’s found wearing it, then they’ll know I gave it to her. There is no way for her to put it on herself. There isn’t even a way for her to have taken it off me.
“M’Dude, can you carry me?” Logan is suddenly at my feet.
I realise I’ve completely zoned out during our walk. It’s lucky I haven’t walked into a tree.
I have no idea how long we’ve been walking, but I see Mattie crossing her arms over her chest, appearing annoyed as she waits for us, eager to find Hank and Lisa.
“Of course.” I smile at his name for me.
Reaching down, I pick him up, amazed at how little this boy weighs. I’ve never held anyone before. I’m the youngest son, and even though I know when I was a baby I must have been held by my mother at least, I have no real memory of holding anyone or ever being held.
Logan’s legs and arms wrap around me and his head rests on my shoulders. I hold him to me, feeling the same responsibility and affection for him as I’ve felt holding him in my arms yesterday. Having him trust me like this makes my heart swell. I want to protect him. I want him to be safe and happy and never have to be scared again.
I step forward, careful not to put too much pressure on my knee. It’s slowly getting better. Though I still have a limp, it’s not so pronounced now.
I look up at Mattie, seeing her eyes soften as she watches us. I know she’s instantly less annoyed with me. She stays ahead, keeping the pace hurried while I try my best to keep up.
I find my eyes straying to her ass and legs as she moves. Everything about her is exquisite. I wonder if I’ll ever get over this connection I feel forming between us. Are these strong feelings I have normal for most humans to go through?
We walk for most of the day, shielded from the hot sun beating down on the trees above us. We only stop twice to drink more water, but we need to find food. I almost suggest we head back to the town we left a few days ago. I’m sure the hinema are no longer there, and without the ability to track me anymore, they should leave us mostly alone.
I open my mouth, ready to suggest it when Mattie squeals in excitement.
I’m no longer holding Logan since Mattie has taken him a couple of hours ago, so I’m able to move more freely. My knee might be getting better, but after a full day of walking, its beginning to feel worse again.
We’ve managed to stumble out of the forest and into an open area, leading to a hidden away house. We’re on higher ground, and in the distance, there is only the forest with a dirt road suggesting there is a way to some civilization.
“Finally!” Mattie rushes forward and I find renewed energy, too.
We race towards the house and even Logan can tell something good is about to happen.
The front door is unlocked and there is no sign that there has been anyone present recently. It doesn’t matter. We don’t need to see anyone else; we just need food.
Mattie places Logan down on a couch and rushes into the kitchen where she opens up every cupboard and pulls out jars, cans and packets of cookies and chips. It’s not the most balanced meal, but for once, I don’t care about the hidden ingredients or the high sugar and salt content.
We all eat until we’re full then drink most of our remaining water. Unfortunately, the electricity and taps no longer work here, however Mattie notes that there is a rainwater tank out back. We’ll be able to fill the empty bottles back up before we leave.
“It’s getting late. Do you think it will be safe enough to stay here?” Mattie asks me, watching as Logan leans on my shoulder, already beginning to fall asleep. He’s tried to walk as much as his little legs could handle, but with the lack of food we’ve been having, he tires quickly. With a full stomach now, he’s already half asleep.
“I think we’re in the middle of nowhere, and whatever—if anything—has happened here, has been and gone.”
“Good, because I’m dying to sleep in a real bed,” she says, smiling to herself.
She stands up, moving outside to fill the water bottles before it gets too dark to see. I take the opportunity to place Logan in a bed, carrying him around the small house. It doesn’t take long to do a tour. Apart from the small kitchen and sitting room we’ve already seen, there are only two bedrooms. One room has a single bed, a desk and set of drawers, which is where I think to place Logan. The other is just as bare, but it has a double bed. Then there’s a small bathroom, which combines a bath and shower and also a toilet and basin. That’s all there is.
I pull the sheets on the bed back, placing Logan gently in there and tucking him in. He doesn’t stir once. I watch him sleep, still able to see him through the light coming in from the window. I pull the curtain across, blanketing the room in darkness and decide to leave the door open. I don’t want him to feel trapped if he wakes up in the middle of the night.
I turn away from Logan’s room and nearly knock straight into Mattie.
“Is he settled?” she asks me, looking tired and distracted.
“Yeah, he’s sleeping.”
“Good.” She moves into the only other room and sits down heavily on the bed. “I know it’s early, but I’m going to go to bed now as well. I promised myself that we’d find Hank and Lisa today and I failed. I want to get started early tomorrow.”
“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” I reprimand, losing my voice when, after taking her shoes off, she pulls her jeans off in front of me. “What are you doing?”
“I’m sick of sleeping in these. I’m in a bed, so I’m going to enjoy it,” she states as though what she says should be obvious. “And I get that there is only this bed left, and maybe you’ll offer to sleep on the couch out there, but before you do, I just want to say that I don’t have a problem with you staying in here with me. We’re friends and I trust you.” She doesn’t look at me as she says the words, pulling off her sweater and t-shirt. If she wasn’t wearing my vest, I would have a front row seat of the view I was lucky enough to witness yesterday.
Friends. She keeps throwing that word at me. Either because she can sense my attraction towards her and she’s trying to head it off with her words, or because she actually thinks that we’re friends. Is it that easy to make friends? Is it able to happen that quickly?
She stands, pulling away the covers and climbing under them, giving me a torturous view of her ass in the air before she flips onto her back, bringing the covers back over her.
“It’s a little weird to be sleeping in someone else’s bed. I feel like this should freak me out, and maybe if I wasn’t so tired, I would be, but I just feel sad. I have no idea what happened to the people who lived here, but I know it can’t be good. And now strangers are walking in their house, able to peer through their personal belongings without even knowing their names.” She speaks through closed eyes, but I watch a tear fall down the side of her face, landing on the pillow beneath her.
“Unfortunately, there isn’t anything we can do for them now,” I say, feeling useless.
“I just wonder if there is someone going through my house back home. Is there a stranger sleeping in my bed? Are there any survivors left there? Are there more survivors left around here? Or even any left on Earth? What the hell are we supposed to do if we’re the last ones left? What do we do when those machines take over our planet? What if they’ve destroyed everything? Is it even worth the fight now? Should we just give up?”
My heart stops beating at hearing her words. I’ve never heard Mattie like this. I’ve never heard her sound so defeated before.
“I wish I knew what to say to you to make this better. I want to take away your pain
,” I admit, hurting for the girl in front of me.
“Could you stay with me tonight? I just… I don’t want to feel alone.”
Her vulnerability eats at me, there is no way I’d deny her anything. The fact that I’m desperate not to leave her anyway is just a bonus.
I take my shoes off, deciding to brave taking my pants off, too. I still have on my briefs and I leave my t-shirt on as well. I close the curtains as I move around the side of the bed, noting the handgun is resting on the dresser beside Mattie. Covered in darkness, I slip under the covers, moving down until my feet hug the edges and my head rests over the pillow. I get one second to calm myself down before Mattie leans into me, placing her head over my chest as her arm snakes over my stomach. Her naked legs rest next to my still body, and I resist the urge that wants me to pull her closer, to have her flush against me and lifting her over me. These are urges I’ve never had before, and I’m embarrassed by the reaction my body is having. I’m completely hard and terrified that Mattie might realise this.
I don’t think friends would have that reaction to each other, and I don’t want to lose my first and only friend, so I stay completely still, listening to Mattie’s breathing, relaxing a little when I notice it deepens as she falls asleep. I focus on that sound, trying to calm myself down and just enjoy the fact that I have this closeness to her for tonight. I have no doubt tomorrow things will go back to how they’ve been before.
***
The next day, we leave the house. We’re fully stocked with more food and full bottles of water. Logan appears to be in a better mood and decides to ask Mattie and me questions nonstop. Some I struggle to answer, like my favourite wiggle, my favourite food or even my favourite colour. These are questions that would come naturally for a human, or at least, understanding would be easy. I, however, struggle, thinking it is partly because I have to lie. What makes it even harder is the fact that neither of them appears to be suspicious of my answers. I know Mattie most likely finds my hesitation a response to trying to translate my answers for Logan, yet it eats me up inside to know they trust me enough not to lie.
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