I kept seeing Finn’s handwriting turn black within the flames, hearing Amergin’s words in my mind.
A tracking spell.
Love and resentment tore through me at once, and I clenched my fists, my power still popping and roiling inside me. He had tricked me, went against my wishes, and once again involved me in something without stating all the facts. And yet, that book had saved my life on two occasions, as if he knew my silent death wish. As if he knew I would find my way into trouble somehow.
I dashed around the corner to my room and smacked right into someone’s torso. The smell of leather and folded laundry hit me, and I almost threw up on the carpet lining the long hallways.
Finn.
I covered my eyes with my palm, trying to sidestep around him.
“Hey…Hey…” He grabbed my arms, registering my rage, my red face, my shaking shoulders.
“What happened?” he said. “Are you all right?”
I gave him a savage push. “Get away from me.”
He threw his hands in the air, palms facing me. “Elizabeth?”
I shoved him in the shoulder. “You couldn’t stay out of my life, could you? You couldn’t just leave me alone?”
He grabbed my wrist, crushing my fingers. “What are you talking about?”
“‘Love always, Finn?’ That’s not love. Stalking is not love, Finn. It’s control!”
His face crumpled in understanding, his hand loosening. Wrenching away, I turned to my door.
“Wait,” he cried. “Wait!”
I went to close the door, but he shoved his way inside and slammed it behind him. He turned to me, and I backed away, his wild eyes stirring old feelings of helplessness, other nightmares. My throat tightened, a flood of tears threatening to fall as I dug my fingernails into the wainscoting, trying to hold myself up.
Finn took a deep, staggering breath, erasing the lines of rage on his face. “Yes, I put a tracking spell on that book. Actually Orin did it. Like he did for Arranmore.”
“Oh my God,” I spluttered, pacing the room, tearing my hands through my hair.
Finn had exploited the same spell that had sent me spiraling into this world, and it made the betrayal so much worse.
“How could you?” A hard lump rose in my throat, and I swallowed it down, struggling to steady my voice. “How could you use that spell?”
“I did it to protect you. To keep you safe!”
I whirled around. “I don’t need you to keep me safe.”
The lights flickered on and off and the furniture rattled, my energy exploding in all directions across the room.
“Yes. You do.” Finn’s eyes blazed. “You think you can do this alone, but you can’t! There are people after you. People who want to kill you—”
“So let them kill me!”
A vase shattered on the nightstand, and the windows shook. I gulped back a sob, my words ringing in my ears. All the drinking, the sleeping around. The nightmares. I didn’t know how to live with all this power inside me, and not just power—the hatred, the fear. I doubled over, my hair hanging in my face in sweaty ropes. “Maybe I don’t care. Maybe I’m broken. Maybe there’s no coming back from…from…”
From Bres. From war. From death.
“Don’t say that, Elizabeth,” Finn said in a dark voice.
“Why?” I said. “Because it’s the truth?”
Another pulse of power swept through the room, and all the lightbulbs burst, throwing us into darkness.
“Stop it.”
I looked up at him through my tangled hair and grimaced.
“What is it, Finn?” I spat. “You don’t like my little tricks?”
I traveled across the room to stand right before him.
“I said stop!” He grabbed my hands and crushed me against his chest, knocking the wind out of me. When he spoke, his voice was soft, low, like the mournful sound of a cello. The sound wrapped around me, pulling my body closer to his.
“I know what I did was wrong, but it killed me that I couldn’t keep you safe. At least this way…” His voice broke.
Finn’s eyes shimmered with tears, and he gritted his teeth, trying to hold them back.
“At least this way I could hold some part of you near me,” he said. “At least this time, if you suffered, if someone hurt you, I could find you. I wouldn’t be so helpless.”
He released me and scrubbed his face with his palm.
I stood there watching him for a long time, the tension stretching out between us.
“You have to let me go,” I said finally. “Amergin is here. He found the book.” I recalled the image of his name bursting into an explosion of orange sparks, Amergin’s full lips turned up in a cruel smirk.
“He said it was grounds for death,” I whispered. “Why would you risk it?”
Finn reached out and took hold of my hand. The heat of his body, the electricity of his touch sent a shiver through me.
“You know why.”
I pulled my hand away as if he had burned me. “Don’t… Amergin will kill you. He said so.”
“And so what if he did?” Finn said.
In the long shadows of the room, his eyes caught the gleam of the streetlights filtering through the sheer curtains.
“Shut up,” I whispered. “You don’t mean that.”
He clenched his fists at his side, breathing hard through his nose. “It’s torture. Seeing you again. Not being able to touch you. I think I would rather be dead than have to go through another lifetime like this.”
He turned and paced like a wild animal in a cage. He paused to say something but then whirled away and slammed his fist against the wall, the plaster shattering from the impact. His spine seemed to snap and he slumped, sliding down to the floor, his long legs curling up against his chest.
My hands trembled, all my power draining from my body, leaving nothing but a hollow feeling in my stomach. In my brief life, I had been bound and beaten, kidnapped and tortured, but I never felt more frightened than in this moment. Watching Finn collapse was like watching the sky fall or feeling the ground tear apart. It was seismic. His knees shook, and he buried his face into his elbows, his large hands spreading across the crown of his head. This broken person couldn’t be Finn, the strongest Fianna warrior in an age, and yet it was.
A profound calm flooded my limbs, and I crouched down, folding his shaking hands in my own. “Finn…”
Before I could even breathe his name, he pulled me close to his chest, and my body molded into his lap, my head resting on his shoulder. His heart thudded beneath my fingers, and he inhaled deeply, burying his nose into my hair. We sat like that for a long time, until our breathing fell into the same rhythm.
“When I lost Charlotte I didn’t want to live.”
The sound of his voice startled me, and he squeezed my arm reassuringly.
“I had my oaths to the Fianna, responsibilities,” he continued. “But to go on, I had to kill a part of myself. Like cutting off the circulation in a leg or a finger. That part of me just died.”
He peered down at me, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “Until I saw you for the first time.”
I stared up at him, studying the strong line of his jaw. My heart raced, blood rushing from my face. His words, their intimacy, were like smuggled contraband, and I knew we should stop talking, get up, resolve to go our separate ways. But his eyes arrested me, and I couldn’t move.
“You brought me to life again.” His drawn face brightened in a small smile and he chuckled under his breath.
I curled my hands into his starched white shirt, the sound of his laughter easing the knotted feeling in my chest.
He tucked my thick hair around my shoulder, and his lips grazed my ear. “When I tried to steal Arranmore and you stood between me and the door. Oh, lass. I wanted to turn you around and take you right there.”
His hot breath sent a pulse of desire between my legs, and I drew myself up tighter against him, running my hands up his neck and c
aressing his scalp with my fingernails. I had wanted that, too, I think, in some carnal place in my body, and hearing Finn whisper the words sent me spiraling into a fever.
“What a feisty girl you were,” he breathed.
“And what am I now?” I gripped his hair, pulling his face closer to mine until our lips almost touched.
Finn locked eyes onto me. “A woman. A strong woman.” He swallowed hard. “My woman.”
He pressed his mouth hard against me and his hands tangled into my hair as he crushed me against the floor. My fingers locked onto his shoulders, wanting nothing more than to feel his weight on me, the solid mass of him invading my body. He planted urgent kisses against my neck, and with a low sound in his throat, tore my jacket and shirt off my shoulders and threw them viciously against the door. He ripped through my bra and grabbed my breasts with bruising intensity, leaning down to kiss my flesh. His hands were everywhere, as if he couldn’t touch me enough, as if any moment someone might drag me away. I parted my legs for him, and he pushed his hips against me with a deep moan.
“I missed you.” My voice sounded high and strained in my ears. “I missed you so much.”
In response, he thrust against me once more, holding me tighter as he planted a hard kiss on my lips. His tongue slipped through my teeth and found mine, hot and forceful. I moaned, my body wet and pulsing between my legs, waiting for him. I knew we shouldn’t be doing this, that Amergin or Taisha could walk in at any moment and we would be dead. There would be no deliberation, no council meeting about it. Just off with our heads. The end. But at that moment, I would have fought through a thousand Fianna to feel Finn inside me again.
He broke off the kiss and knelt on the floor, tearing off his shirt with one quick movement. I sucked in my breath at the site of his naked chest, and his muscles felt tight and strong against my fingertips as I raked my nails down the length of his raven tattoo. He grabbed my hands and pulled my wrists over my head, and with the other hand, he tugged my jeans off.
“I need you, Elizabeth,” he growled in my ear.
He didn’t have to say it. His grip on my arms told me everything. I spread my legs wider, arching my back and giving myself over to his strength, his power.
He fumbled with his trousers, cursing beneath his breath in Gaelic. The sharp sound of a zipper, the tinkling sound of his belt sent waves of anticipation down through my belly. He guided himself inside me with a low groan and sent one hard thrust of pure pleasure bursting through me. I bit into his shoulder to swallow a scream. Pain, joy, desire. It all came rushing in at once. His body overwhelmed me, his hands holding onto my wrists so tight I thought he might shatter my bones. But all I could do was wrap my legs tighter around him because nothing in this world could feel more perfect.
“Elizabeth…a rúnsearc,” he breathed into my ear. “Tá mo chroí istigh ionat.”
My heart is inside you.
I shuddered against the words, lifting my hips and coming and coming in waves of pleasure. His hand fell over my mouth to stifle my screams as he moaned into my neck, his own release powerful and deep. He fell against me and we lay like that for a long time, his seed spilling into me, our hearts fluttering in our chests. I could barely breathe, crushed beneath him, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now. I ran my hands through his silky hair, trembling as his lips brushed against my cheek.
He shifted his weight to the side and leaned on his arm, looking down at me.
“I love you,” he said with finality.
I met his gaze and nodded. “I love you.”
He sighed, his eyes trailing down my naked body before returning back to my face. “If you walk out of this house with me, our lives are forfeit. Do you understand?”
I reached up and cupped his cheek. “There is no other way for me, Finn. From the minute I first saw you, I knew.”
He kissed me deeply, his lips pressing firm against mine. I felt his desire for me quicken, his cock hardening inside me.
I shifted beneath him, but that only aroused him more.
“Finn, Amergin is here,” I protested. “In this building…we can’t…” He did something with his thumb that made my hips jerk involuntarily. I bit his ear in retaliation.
“Let them come,” he said. “I could die tonight the happiest of men.”
I squirmed out of his embrace and grabbed my jeans. “I know I can find ways to make you even happier. Just not right now.”
He ran his hand up my abdomen as I pulled on my bra. His fingers slipped beneath the underwire and he cupped my breast.
“How happy?” he breathed.
“Incandescently happy. Transcendentally happy.” I trailed small kisses down his neck as my hands palmed his cock already hard again. “You’ll be dying of happiness…over and over again…”
He rubbed his thumb against my nipple while running his hands over the crotch of my jeans. “I like the sound of that.”
The echo of footsteps on the other side of the door and the sound of Taisha’s voice sent us flying across the room, scrambling to get dressed. She passed down the hallway and we stood there facing each other for a moment before returning to our clothes.
Finn buttoned his shirt, his face set in a grim line. “We need a plan.”
“I think we should question Phelan before we leave.” Pulling on my boots, I came to standing, squaring my shoulders. I knew Finn would disagree.
Sure enough, he shook his head. “There’s no time, and besides, Phelan is transformed into a wolf. He’s not going to talk.”
“I think he will.” I twisted my scarf around my neck and tied it in a tight knot at my throat. “Because I have leverage.”
“What’s that?” he said.
“He’ll talk to me because I’m the only person who can get him out of Trinity.”
Finn shot me a dark look as he shrugged into his leather jacket. “You can’t be serious. The man tried to have you killed.”
“There’s something he’s not telling me. Besides…” I walked up to Finn and planted a kiss on his lips. “It will piss off Amergin.”
Finn pulled me close, his thick, muscled arms crushing me. “You need to be careful, Elizabeth. You have no idea what Amergin is capable of. He’s dangerous.”
“I’m dangerous, too.”
Finn raised his eyebrows at me and let me go. He smoothed a curl behind my ear and tapped me on the nose, striding out of my room.
“I mean it, I’m dangerous, too!” I called after him, dogging Finn’s heels. His hand readied at his waist, even though his sword was in that anti-matter-whatever Druid space. Scanning the hallways, he motioned for me to follow him.
We tread stealthily through the hallways down to the holding cells. Finn peered around the corner and turned back at me.
“Seamus is on watch tonight,” Finn whispered. He breathed deeply and grabbed my hand.
“Are you sure.” He peered down at me. “There’s no turning back now.”
“I’m sure.”
Hand in hand we marched up to Seamus, who scrambled for his bow, notching an arrow as we approached.
“Hello, Finn.” Seamus glanced at me and our intertwined hands.
Finn lifted his chin. “We need to talk to Phelan.”
“You know I can’t let you do that.”
“Elizabeth and I are leaving Trinity. Together. We need to talk to Phelan.”
“Finn…” Seamus whispered, lifting his bow and pulling the arrow closer to his ear.
“You’re going to shoot me, Seamus?” Finn’s hand tightened over mine, but he didn’t move an inch.
My heart pounded, and I stared at the steely glint of his arrow aimed at Finn’s eyeball.
“If I must.” Seamus’s clear blue eyes darkened with doubt.
“We need to talk to—”
“How could you leave with her!” Seamus cried, his eyes wide and red rimmed. His fingers shook, the arrow quivering against the string.
I took a step back, my confidence wavering from t
he disgust in Seamus’s voice.
Finn stared at Seamus, the silence heavy between the two men. Finn held my hand tighter, a muscle flickering over the edge of his jaw.
“You could have anyone…” Seamus’ voice quavered. “And you chose her. How could you? How could you do this to us?”
Finn closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, his face softened. “I can’t choose who I love, Seamus,” he whispered. “You of all people should know that.”
I bit my tongue, dying to know what Finn meant by that statement, but I knew one utterance from me and the whole situation would slide into FUBAR territory.
Seamus’s eyes glistened, and he blinked back tears. His bow arm went slack, and he lowered his head in surrender.
“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth. He looked up again, all trace of pain exiled from his face. “But hit me a few times.”
“What?”
“Hit me a few times!” The spry Irishman threw his shoulders back. “You have to make it look like we fought.”
Before I could blink, Finn sucker-punched Seamus in the jaw. He fell to the ground with a curse, clutching at his face.
“Jaysus, man. You could have warned me.” Seamus rubbed his face.
“Sorry, mate.” Finn extended a hand to Seamus, pulling him up.
“Fair play. Again.” He cracked his neck muscles, a purple bruise already blooming on his boyish face.
Finn shook his head.
“You want me to stand for treason?”
“No.”
Seamus planted his feet, clenching his hands at his sides. “Then make it look good.”
Finn sunk his fist into Seamus’s stomach and then two more jabs to the face.
Seamus groaned and wiped his bloody nose, his hands on his knees.
“Okay,” he panted, offering up the keys.
Finn snatched them, and the two men stared at each other. Finn opened his mouth to say something, but bit back the words, his shoulders tensing.
Seamus shook his head. “Well, what are you waiting for?”
Finn fumbled with the lock for a moment, stealing a glance over his shoulder. Pulling the door open, he grabbed my hand, and we dashed inside the cell. The púcas snarled at us, peeling back their jaws to reveal sharp white teeth. Phelan made a leap for Finn, and I threw him against the wall.
Children of the Veil (Aisling Chronicles) Page 10