by Amy Clipston
“I just feel terrible.” Rachel’s voice quaked. “I accused him of neglecting John when Mike is only trying his best to take care of his dat and bruder. I’m a terrible person.”
“No, you’re not a terrible person,” Emily insisted. “You have a wonderful heart, Rach.”
“Emily’s right. You didn’t know the whole story.” Mamm reached over and touched Rachel’s leg. “Don’t punish yourself. You were only looking out for John’s best interests.”
“But I always say the wrong thing.” Rachel sniffed. “I’m always so impulsive, and I jump to the wrong conclusion. I’m certain he thinks I’m terrible, and he’s right to think that about me.”
Mamm handed Rachel a tissue from the box on the sewing table. “Now, just calm down, Rachel. If he thought you were terrible, he never would’ve invited you over.”
“He invited me because John wanted me to come over.” Rachel wiped her nose.
“I think he likes you,” Emily countered.
Rachel studied her sister. “Why would you say that?”
“It’s obvious.” Emily shrugged. “Why would he share a personal story like that about his mother with someone he didn’t consider a freind?”
“Because I was nosy enough to ask him what happened to her.” Rachel blew her nose. “I’m just too outspoken for my own good.”
“Stop saying that.” Mamm’s face creased with a frown. “You sent meals to his haus and then you took lunch and dessert over to him. You also helped John with his schoolwork. You’ve shown him how sorry you are for what you said to him. You need to forgive yourself.”
“That’s right,” Emily agreed. “Did you bring the basket home?”
“Ya. I left it on the counter downstairs.” Rachel set her elbow on the arm of the chair and rested her chin in her hand.
“Why don’t we start planning to send two more meals over this next week, like you originally said you would?” Emily suggested. “Maybe that will make you feel better.”
Mamm picked up the quilt and began to stitch again. “I agree. We’ll have to think about what we can send.”
“His dat even thanked me for the meals,” Rachel said. “He said he’d really enjoyed them.”
“It’s settled then.” Emily beamed. “We’ll come up with a menu, and I’ll pick up supplies at the market on Monday.”
Rachel snapped her fingers. “Why don’t I make something today to send on Monday?”
“That sounds like a great idea,” Emily agreed.
“I’m going to get started.” Rachel stood and moved toward the door. “I’ll call you when supper is ready.”
As Rachel hurried down the stairs, excitement shoved away her shame and guilt. Maybe if she continued to help the Lantz family, she could forgive herself for the horrible things she’d said to Mike when they first met.
“TEACHER RACHEL?”
Rachel glanced up after slipping journals into the students’ tote bags to find John smiling at her. “Hi, John.” She stood up straight. “Are you ready to head home?”
“Uh-huh.” He nodded, and his straw hat shifted on his blond head.
“You’ve worked hard this week.” She touched his shoulder. “I wrote in the journal that you’ve been an outstanding student. I didn’t have to tell you to behave at all.” She handed him his tote bag. “Here you go.”
“Danki.” He fingered the handles. “Mike and mei dat want me to make sure I thank you for the meals this week. Mike liked the meat loaf the best, and Dat liked the chicken casserole.”
“Oh gut.” Rachel smiled. “What was your favorite?”
John grinned. “I like everything you send, especially the chocolate chip kichlin.”
Rachel laughed. “So the way to your heart is with dessert, huh?”
He nodded. “Are you coming over tomorrow to work with me some more? Mike said you can tutor me again this weekend like you did last Saturday.”
“Ya, I will.” She sat on the chair beside him. “What time does your bruder want me to come over?”
John shrugged. “He said you’d probably come around lunch time again.”
“Okay.” Rachel touched his hat. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” John hustled toward the door, and the other students followed him. Rachel and Malinda stood out on the porch and said good-bye to the students as they hurried off, then stepped back inside to finish up their work.
“Did I hear John say he wants you to go tutor again?” Malinda asked as she crossed to the front of the classroom.
“Ya, he did.” Rachel gathered up a pile of math papers and then sat down at a desk to grade them.
“You tutored him at his haus?” Malinda stood by the desk at the front of the room.
Rachel nodded. “Ya, I went over to his haus last Saturday and worked with him. It went really well. I see a big improvement with his math.”
Malinda shook her head. “You know that’s not necessary. You’re not going to get a larger salary by tutoring.”
“I know.” Rachel looked down at her task.
“So then why are you going to spend your Saturday over at the Lantz family’s haus?” Malinda asked. “You’re already giving John plenty of one-on-one time here.”
“I don’t mind helping him,” Rachel said as she corrected a paper with a red pen. “Mike has a lot of pressure on him because his dat is very ill, and John needs extra help. I feel like I’m making a difference when I go over there and help him.”
“Is that why you’ve been sending the meals home with John?”
“Ya.” Rachel looked up and found Malinda studying her. “I still feel guilty for what I said to Mike that day. It makes me feel better when I’m helping him. I know I need to forgive myself, but I’m still ashamed.”
“Oh.” Malinda didn’t look convinced. “But don’t get too tied up with his family.”
“What do you mean?” Rachel asked with bemusement.
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” Malinda said with a shrug. “You tend to get attached, and then you love with all your might and wind up with a broken heart.”
Rachel frowned as the anguish David had caused came back to her in full force. She’d tried to put it behind her, but Malinda had brought it all back with just that simple statement. The pain stabbed at Rachel’s chest.
“I don’t want to date Mike, if that’s what you’re getting at,” Rachel snapped, more rudely than she’d intended. “I’m not looking for a boyfriend, and I’m certainly not using one of the kinner in my class to find one.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Malinda said, holding her hands up as if to calm Rachel. “I’m not accusing you of using John to get to Mike at all. I’m just worried about you. You’ve always been so impulsive, and I know how badly you want to get married.”
“Don’t we all want to get married?” Rachel asked with exasperation. “Isn’t it supposed to be our dream to get married and raise several kinner on a farm?” She frowned again. “I’m not anxious about finding a boyfriend or even getting married. Right now I just want to be a gut teacher, and giving a special student some extra help makes me feel like I’m doing a gut job. Is that so bad?”
“No, no.” Malinda shook her head. “I’m sorry for criticizing you. I’m just worried about you. That’s one reason I asked you to teach with me. I knew you needed something to occupy your time after David and Sharon hurt you so badly.”
“I appreciate that,” Rachel said before pointing to the math papers. “I’m going to finish these so I can head home soon. I’m tired. It’s been a long week.”
“Ya, it has.”
Malinda sat down at the desk and began rearranging papers while Rachel continued grading. An uncomfortable silence overtook the room.
“You know, Rachel,” Malinda suddenly began, breaking through the silence. “You’re a very gut teacher. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Rachel looked up. Malinda was smiling at her. “Danki. I enjoy teaching. I’m grateful you asked me to join you.”
Malinda’s words marinated in Rachel’s mind as she finished grading the math papers. At first she had been offended that her cousin would accuse her of using John to try to get a date with Mike, but she was certain Malinda hadn’t meant that. She was only warning Rachel to be careful with her heart, which was good advice.
But Rachel didn’t want a boyfriend. She just wanted to be a good teacher and find a way to help the Lantz family through their difficult time.
“THIS IS THE BEST CHICKEN POTPIE I’VE EVER TASTED,” RAYMOND said the following afternoon as he sat across from Rachel.
“Danki.” Rachel’s cheeks heated as Mike and Raymond smiled at her from across the table. “I used my grossmammi’s recipe. Mei schweschder Veronica found a box of our grossmammi’s recipe cards in the attic last year, and we’ve been trying them. That’s where she found a raspberry pie recipe that led to her opening a bake stand last year.”
Why was she prattling on and on about recipe cards when men rarely cared about that sort of thing? She always babbled when she was nervous. She gnawed at her lower lip.
Why was Mike sitting there studying her? He was the reason she was nervous. He was so handsome, and he was looking at her with interest. Malinda’s words echoed in her mind, and she pushed them away. She was here to help John, not pursue a relationship with Mike. She forked her potpie and ignored the anxiety that had taken hold of her the moment she’d stepped into the Lantz family’s house.
“What does your dat do for a living?” Raymond asked.
“He owns the Bird-in-Hand Harness Shop,” Rachel said after she dabbed her mouth with a paper napkin. “It’s located on our property. He owns the shop with our neighbor. They’ve had it since they were young men.”
“I’ve been in there before,” Raymond said. “It’s a very nice shop. Your dat does great leatherwork. He’s a gut man.”
“Danki. I’m certain he’s disappointed he didn’t have a bu to take over the business.” Rachel took a small bite.
“Maybe he’ll have a son-in-law who wants to do it,” Raymond said.
“Maybe he will,” Rachel said. She started to move the chicken potpie around on her plate rather than eating it. Veronica’s husband, Jason, built sheds for a living, but maybe Emily would find a husband to run the harness shop with Dat.
“I always enjoyed working with wood,” Raymond said. His voice was just as weak and gravelly as it had been the week before, but his smile was wide. “I admire men who can work with leather. It’s not easy.”
“He really enjoys it,” Rachel said. She was glad Raymond was proving to be a better conversationalist than she was today.
She saw Mike glance at his father before he looked over at her, then gave her a shy smile. She tried to understand what his expression meant, and then it clicked. Perhaps Raymond didn’t normally talk this much. Was Mike happy to see his dat so talkative? Did her presence help the Lantz family more than she’d expected?
“Did you bring another chocolate pie today?” John asked.
He was sitting beside Rachel, and she smiled down at him. “Ya, I did.”
“Great!” John clapped.
“You need to finish your potpie before you can have any chocolate pie,” Mike reminded him.
“I know.” John spoke through a mouthful of potpie. “It’s gut.” Then he looked sheepishly at Mike, who had asked him again during this meal not to talk with his mouth full.
“I’m glad you like it,” Rachel said, deciding not to look at Mike’s face. “After dessert we’ll work on your math again, all right?”
John nodded.
They made small talk about the weather and a few mutual friends while they finished the chicken potpie and then ate dessert. Once their plates were empty, Rachel helped Mike and John carry them to the counter.
“I’ll take care of the dishes later,” Mike said. “I need to fix the sink.”
“You’re going to finally fix the leak?” Raymond asked.
“Ya, Dat. I know I’ve been talking about it for six months,” Mike said, his tone holding an edge of self-deprecation.
“Well, we don’t want to rush into these things.” Raymond had a twinkle in his eye, and Rachel chuckled.
Mike gave her a feigned looked of annoyance. “Don’t encourage him.”
“I’ll try not to.” Rachel touched her lips while suppressing another smile.
“I think I’m ready to read in the schtupp.” Raymond tapped the armrests on his wheelchair.
Rachel gripped the handles on the back of the wheelchair. “I’ll push you in there.”
“Danki, but I’ll take him.” Mike stepped over to her. “He’ll need—”
“No, no.” Raymond shook his head. “You get started on the sink, and Rachel can take me into the schtupp.”
Mike looked back and forth between Rachel and his father. “But she can’t lift you into the chair, Dat.”
“It’s fine.” Raymond smiled up at Rachel. “She can hold the wheelchair steady while I move myself into the recliner. That’s how I do it when the maed are here taking care of me.”
Mike hesitated, but then turned toward Rachel. “Call me if you need help.”
“You worry too much, Mike.” Raymond pointed toward the doorway leading to the family room. “Let’s go.”
Rachel looked at Mike, who still seemed surprised. “I’ll be right back.” She glanced at John. “You can get my tote bag and pull out the books. We’ll get started on your work as soon as I get back.”
She pushed the wheelchair into the family room and stopped in front of the recliner. She locked the wheels and then held Raymond’s arm as he shakily shifted his body into the chair. She parked the wheelchair in the corner and then handed him the newspaper.
“Danki.” Raymond smiled at her and took her hand. “You’re a wunderbaar maedel. I can see the difference you’re making in both Mike and John. I’m so froh the Lord sent you to us.”
Rachel blinked as tears threatened her eyes. “I enjoy helping John.”
“You’re helping Mike too.” Raymond released her hand.
“I am?” The question leapt from her lips before she could stop it.
“Ya, you are.” A knowing smile slipped across the older man’s lips. “He seems to relax a bit when you’re around. He’s been uptight ever since I was diagnosed with this horrible disease. I’m glad you started coming by. You’re definitely a gut influence on my two sons. And I appreciate the appeditlich meals too.” He opened the paper on his lap.
“I’m so glad you enjoy the meals. Call if you need anything,” she said.
He nodded and then began to read the paper. She turned toward the doorway as Raymond’s words echoed in her mind. She’d been helpful to both Mike and John? How could she have possibly helped Mike by coming over? He didn’t seem very relaxed when she observed him. Perhaps Raymond saw something she didn’t.
Rachel found John sitting at the kitchen table studying the math worksheets he’d retrieved from her bag. Mike had disappeared.
“Okay,” Rachel said as she sat down beside him. “Which math problem would you like to start with?”
John pointed to one in the middle of the page. They began talking through it, and soon Mike reappeared with a small toolbox and started to work on the sink. She found herself sneaking glances at him while he worked, and a couple of times he was looking at her at the same time. Her cheeks warmed when their eyes locked, and she quickly looked down at the math paper.
After all ten problems were completed, Rachel asked John to read aloud from the book she’d brought. He read slowly, sounding out words. She rubbed his back and quietly encouraged him. When he finished the chapter, she clapped.
“You did a gut job, John,” Mike said, beaming like a proud father. “Your reading is wunderbaar.”
John puffed up like a proud rooster. “Do you want to hear me read some more?”
“Ya, I do.” Mike leaned a hip against the counter. He raised his eyebrows and touched his chin as John began
to read again, stopping occasionally to sound out a word.
Rachel smiled at Mike and then leaned over to see where John was on the page.
After he finished two pages, John leaned back in the chair. “I’m tired. I think I need to rest.”
Rachel chuckled. “You did great.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost two thirty. “This is the perfect place to stop. My driver will be here in a few minutes.” She gathered up the worksheets and books and slipped them into her bag. “You’re going to be the top student in the class with the way you’re improving.”
“Really?” John’s eyes widened as he gasped.
“Ya, I mean that.” Rachel retrieved her basket and serving dishes from the counter. “I’ll see you on Monday, John. Danki for inviting me to come over.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Mike looked at John. “I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll go check on Dat and see if he needs anything.” John said good-bye to Rachel before walking into the family room.
“Let me help you.” Mike took the basket from her. “Danki for another great meal. You’re really spoiling us.” His smile was genuine and also seemed a little shy. Did he feel as self-conscious around her as she did around him?
“Gern gschehne.” She pulled on her sweater and adjusted the strap of her tote bag on her shoulder. “I’m sure your cousins cook nice meals for you too.”
He nodded. “They do.”
They stood together by the driveway. She glanced toward the road, looking for the van.
“You’re doing an incredible job with John,” Mike said. “I’m astounded by how well he reads. He refused to read aloud when he was at the other school, and his teacher had no patience with him. You’re a very talented teacher. I’m so grateful you’re working with him. I can’t thank you enough.” The genuine admiration in his eyes surprised her. “Did you mean it when you said he’ll be the best in the class?”
“Of course I did,” she said. “I would never lie to him.”