by Amy Clipston
“You go ahead without me.” Rachel placed the devotional she’d been reading on her bedside table. “I’m going to stay home tonight.”
“Why?” Emily’s forehead puckered with concern as she crossed the large room and sat on the edge of Rachel’s bed. “Are you ill?”
“No.” Rachel ran her fingers over her maroon Log Cabin design quilt as she leaned back against the headboard. “I just feel like staying home today. You can tell me all about the youth gathering when you get home.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me, Rach.” Emily tilted her head. “Are you worried about running into David and Sharon? You don’t need to feel embarrassed around them. You did nothing wrong. They’re the ones who hurt you, so you don’t have to hide at home and feel ashamed around them.”
“It’s not that.” Rachel sighed. “I don’t feel ashamed, and it doesn’t bother me anymore when I see them. I just feel like staying home today.” How could she admit she didn’t want to go to the youth gathering if Mike wasn’t there? Saying those words aloud would sound so immature.
“What’s going on?” Emily touched her hand. “This isn’t like you. You’ve never shied away from going to see our freinden.”
Rachel gnawed her lower lip and met her sister’s concerned expression. She couldn’t keep the truth from Emily any longer. It was time to tell Emily how Mike had hurt her feelings yesterday. “I already told you I had a gut time with Mike and John yesterday.”
Emily nodded, and concern filled her pretty face. “You said you and Mike really got to know each other.”
“We had fun, but I made the mistake of asking him to go to youth group with me. He said no.” Rachel turned her eyes to the quilt to avoid her sister’s expression. “I just feel so stupid and immature. I thought he liked me, and I misread his behavior, just as I did with David. I can’t stand the idea of going to youth group and seeing other couples talking. It will remind me of the mistakes I made with David and now with Mike. I get anxious and I mess things up. That’s why I’m alone.” Her voice quavered.
“You’re too hard on yourself. Just because he said no to going to youth group doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like you.” Emily clucked her tongue. “I can’t stand seeing you this unhappy. Come with me and we’ll have fun. All our girlfriends will be there. You don’t need to be with Mike to have fun. We have fun together too.”
She took Rachel’s hand and gave it a quick tug, but Rachel didn’t move. “Let’s go. We have to leave now or we’re going to be late. I already have the buggy hitched up.”
“No, I really don’t want to go out tonight.” Rachel shook her head and yanked her hand back. “I’ve been giving it a lot of thought since yesterday, and I feel like I have to figure some things out. I feel as if something isn’t right. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I guess I’m just too focused on getting married after all.”
She sniffed as tears stung her eyes. “I need to stay away from the youth gatherings before I develop a crush on another man and then wind up with a broken heart again. I’m a detriment to myself.”
“Ach, Rachel.” Emily lightly squeezed her arm. “You don’t really mean that. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Girls?” Mamm stepped into the doorway. “You’re going to be late if you don’t head out now.” Her eyes widened as she studied Rachel. “Was iss letz?” She crossed the room and stood over Rachel. “Are you crying?”
“No.” Rachel shook her head, but then wiped away more tears. “I don’t feel like going tonight.”
“Why not?” Mamm pulled a chair over to the bed.
Rachel repeated the conversation she’d had with Emily.
“Ach, mei liewe,” Mamm began with a sigh. “You worry too much. Mike may have his own reasons for not going to youth group, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. You have been a gut freind to him, and I’m certain he’s thankful for your friendship. Just give him time.”
Rachel cleared her throat and took a shuddering breath. “He told me he hasn’t dated much. He dated a maedel for two months when he was seventeen. He was stunned to hear I dated David for four years.”
“That’s why you need to give him time,” Mamm said. “Just be his freind and see where it leads. I imagine he’ll eventually want to come to youth group, but you have to remember he has a lot of responsibilities with his dat. It’s not as easy for him to go to youth group when he has to take care of his dat and John.”
Rachel nodded. “I know. I just hoped we had become closer yesterday. I hoped maybe his cousin would take care of his father so he could come to the youth group, like his family did so we could go on the picnic.” She grimaced, realizing how that had sounded. “I didn’t mean to be so selfish. I just wanted more time with Mike.”
Mamm rubbed her arm. “I understand. It’s the excitement of new love. When you first fall in love, you want to spend every minute of every day together. It’s natural.”
Rachel’s throat dried. “In love?” She gulped. “I don’t love Mike.” Did she love him?
Oh no.
Her chest tightened as the reality hit her. She was falling in love with Mike. All of the signs were there. Thoughts of him drifted through her mind during the day. No wonder she didn’t want to go to youth group without him. She wanted to spend all her free time with him.
Rachel closed her eyes and swallowed a groan.
“You should go to youth group with Emily,” Mamm continued. “Don’t sit here alone and worry about how Mike feels about you. You’re young, and you need to be with your freinden.”
Rachel shook her head.
Emily scowled before grabbing Rachel’s hand and pulling her to her feet. “Let’s go. We’re late as it is.”
Rachel teetered and then righted herself.
“I can always count on you to get things done, Emily,” Mamm quipped.
Rachel sighed with defeat. Emily wouldn’t give up until she got the answer she wanted. “Fine. I’ll go.”
Emily gave a little cheer as she pulled Rachel into the hallway.
“You two have fun,” Mamm said as she followed them down the stairs.
“We’re going to have a great time,” Emily said as they climbed into the buggy. “I can’t wait to see Malinda. She told me after church that she met a bu from another youth group. I wonder if he’ll be there. I can’t remember his name. Did she tell you about him? He’s someone’s bruder, and apparently he’s really handsome.”
Rachel stared out the window as Emily talked on about their friends. She wondered what Mike was doing and if he was thinking about her. Mamm was right when she said Rachel was falling in love with Mike. A feeling of dread slithered through her. Rachel had been determined not to give her love away so quickly, but she’d managed to do it anyway.
Now what am I going to do?
As she turned back toward her smiling sister, Rachel hugged her arms to her chest as if to guard her heart. She longed to be more like Emily, the sister who smiled no matter what life threw her way.
If only Rachel could turn off her feelings for Mike. She bit her lower lip. Maybe she wasn’t supposed to turn them off. What if she was meant to teach Mike how to love despite all the challenges he had in his life?
Her stomach fluttered as the thought came into focus. God could have brought Rachel into Mike’s life for a reason, a reason that went beyond helping his brother. Rachel could be the one to show Mike what true love with a partner in life could be like.
She would take her mother’s advice and give him time, but she would also continue to reach out to him and encourage him. She gripped the buggy door as excitement overtook her. Maybe, just maybe, she and Mike could find happiness together.
CHAPTER 18
“THANK YOU.” MIKE PAID THE POST OFFICE CLERK AND pocketed the book of stamps. “Have a good afternoon.”
As he walked toward the exit, he heard a familiar voice. He glanced toward the mail slots and saw Rachel and Emily talking as Emily placed s
tamps on envelopes. A smile spread across his lips. It had been two long weeks since he’d gone on the picnic with Rachel.
He’d missed her. Although they hadn’t spoken, Rachel continued to send delicious meals to them in her basket and write encouraging notes in John’s journal about his progress at school.
“Rachel,” he said as he stepped toward her.
Rachel glanced up from the stack of mail, and her eyes widened with surprise. Was that also excitement he saw?
“Mike.”
She looked beautiful in her teal frock and black apron. He’d forgotten how gorgeous her deep brown eyes were. Why hadn’t he made the effort to see her during the past two weeks? He’d longed to spend time with her, but he’d been too preoccupied with keeping up at work and caring for Dat at home.
Or was it because he feared the deep emotions that had taken root inside of him the day of the picnic by the pond?
“Hi, Mike.” Emily gave him a little wave, yanking him from his thoughts. He nodded a greeting, but his eyes were immediately pulled back to Rachel.
“How have you been?” he asked her, resting a hand on the counter where they were working.
Rachel smiled, and her face lit up. Oh, how he had missed her smile.
“I’ve been fine. How about you?”
“Gut, gut. We’ve enjoyed the meals you’ve sent home,” he said. “Danki.”
A look passed between the sisters, and Rachel’s cheeks blushed a bright pink. She was adorable.
“I’m glad you liked them,” Rachel said. “Emily and I have had fun preparing them.”
“You’ve done most of the cooking, Rach,” Emily said. “Don’t give me any credit.”
Mike pointed toward the envelopes. “So are you here for stamps too?” He pulled the book from his pocket and held it up.
“Ya, that’s right.” Rachel nodded. “We were running a few errands, so we thought we’d mail the bills for our mamm.”
“I was doing errands too.” He jammed a thumb toward the door. “I’m actually working today. Ever since it got warm, we’ve been overloaded with orders. The May weather has done wonders for our business. We can’t seem to get caught up, so I’m working for the next few Saturdays.”
“What time do you get off work?” Emily asked, and Rachel shot her an incredulous expression.
“I’m hoping to leave at four. Why?”
“You should come over for supper tonight,” Emily said.
Rachel’s eyebrows careened toward her hairline as she stared at her sister.
“Our schweschder Veronica and her husband are coming,” Emily continued, ignoring her sister’s alarmed expression. “You can meet them.”
The sisters seemed to share a silent conversation with their eyes, and then Rachel suddenly smiled.
“That’s a great idea,” Rachel agreed. “Can you go home and pick up your dat and John? We’d love to have your family meet our whole family.”
Mike was surprised by Rachel’s hopeful expression. “Are you sure? I don’t want to impose on your family time.”
“Don’t be gegisch,” Rachel said, waving off the comment. “It will be fun.”
“Ya,” Emily chimed in.
“All right. Danki.” Mike rubbed his chin. “I’ll arrange for my driver to bring us over to your farm. Do you need me to bring dessert or anything?”
“No,” Rachel said. “We’ll take care of all that. You just bring your family. We’re going to eat around six.”
“Sounds great.” He stuck the book of stamps back in his pocket. “I’ll see you then.”
Mike walked out the door as a smile turned up the corners of his mouth. He couldn’t wait to see Rachel later this evening. He was thankful their paths had crossed today. He just hoped Dat would feel well enough to go.
RACHEL WATCHED AS MIKE DISAPPEARED THROUGH THE post office door and then turned toward Emily. “What made you invite him over for supper tonight?”
Emily shrugged as she stuck stamps on the remaining envelopes. “I’m tired of seeing you mope around the house, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.”
“I haven’t been moping,” Rachel insisted. “I’ve just been giving Mike some space. And I’ve been busy sending the meals over so he sees I care about him and his family.”
“That’s great, but you have to see him too.” Emily stamped the last letter and then slipped the pile into the slot.
“I know that,” Rachel said with annoyance. “But I didn’t want to invite myself over to his haus. That would make me look too eager.”
“That’s why I did it. There’s nothing wrong with inviting him to have supper with our family,” Emily said. “And I invited him instead of you, so that makes you look like you’re not too eager.”
Rachel grinned. “Danki.”
“Gern gschehne. That’s what schweschdere are for.” Emily shrugged. “I’m glad I can help you. I just want to see you froh like Veronica is.”
Rachel tilted her head and studied her sister. “Why are you so worried about helping me get to know Mike if you aren’t dating anyone? You always take care of everyone else, Em, but you never worry about yourself. Shouldn’t I help you find someone special too?”
Emily shook her head. “I’m not really looking. I feel like it will happen when the time is right.”
“But you’ve never had a boyfriend. There has to be someone you like at youth group,” Rachel pressed.
“No, there really isn’t anyone. I want a boyfriend I can really talk to, but I haven’t met anyone at youth group I connect with. But it’s okay. Like I said, I’ll find the right person when it’s my time to date.” Emily looped her arm around Rachel’s shoulder. “Now, let’s get to the grocery store so we can pick up the ingredients for supper.”
“HELLO, HELLO!” VERONICA’S VOICE RANG THROUGH THE KITCHEN later that afternoon. She hefted a large tote bag onto the table.
“Veronica!” Rachel called from her place standing at the counter. “Wie geht’s!”
“It’s so gut to see you.” Mamm rushed over to her and hugged her. “Where’s Jason?”
“He went out to the shop to talk to Dat.” Veronica gestured toward the bag. “I brought four pies. You have your choice of chocolate, lemon meringue, shoofly, and rhubarb custard. I did quite a bit of baking this week now that my bake stand is up and running.”
Emily began to unload the pies from the bag. “I’m glad you brought four. We’re having company for supper.”
“Oh ya?” Veronica looked surprised. “Who’s coming?”
“Mike Lantz and his dat and bruder.” Emily elbowed Rachel.
“Stop, Em.” Rachel’s cheeks were hot with embarrassment as Veronica placed her hand on her hip and her eyes twinkled.
“Do you have a new boyfriend, Rach?” Veronica touched Rachel’s arm. “Tell me all about him.”
“He’s just a freind,” Rachel said with a noncommittal shrug. “His bruder is in my class.”
“They’re really gut freinden,” Emily said. “She’s not telling you the whole story.”
“I’ll make tea,” Mamm said, moving to the counter. “The pork roast is in the oven, so we can talk before we make the mashed potatoes.”
Veronica dropped into a chair at the table and gestured for Rachel to sit beside her. “Kumm. Tell me all about Mike.”
Rachel shot Emily an annoyed expression, but Emily only smiled as she brought four mugs to the table.
“Stop glaring at me, Rach,” Emily said, handing her a mug. “Veronica is going to meet Mike tonight, so you might as well fill her in.”
“Mike is a very nice young man,” Mamm chimed in as she delivered the sweetener and cream to the table. “He’s caring for his ill father and his little bruder, who is in Rachel’s class.”
“Oh,” Veronica said with interest. “Where does Mike work?”
Rachel shared where Mike worked, explained his father’s illness, and talked about working with John on his studies. “John has really improved on his
schoolwork and his behavior. I enjoy having him in my class.”
“It sounds like you really like teaching,” Veronica commented.
“I do.” Rachel sat up a little taller. “I want to keep teaching there next year. I’m so grateful Malinda asked me to work with her.”
“I can’t wait to meet Mike and his family.” Veronica set her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her palm.
Emily brought the kettle to the table and filled their mugs. “I think Mike really likes Rachel. He seemed excited when I invited him over for supper.”
Rachel’s stomach pitched with both excitement and dread when she thought about supper. She hoped it would go well and Mike would want to continue their friendship. Had he missed her as much as she had missed him during the past two weeks?
“So how have you been?” Emily asked Veronica.
Rachel swallowed a sigh of relief when the focus was taken away from her. She stirred sweetener and cream into her cup. She was thankful to share tea with her mother and sisters.
“I’ve been gut.” Veronica lifted her mug. “Jason has been really busy at the shop, and I’ve been baking lots of pies. Quite a few people have come by to give me orders. I’m really froh with the bake stand Jason and his dat built for me. I get a lot of traffic on Saturdays. I already have some regular customers.”
As Veronica continued to talk about her bake stand, Rachel lost herself in thoughts of Mike. The sweet aroma of the spring breeze coming through the open windows mixed with the smell of the baking pork roast permeated the kitchen. She hoped Mike’s father was well enough to come to supper tonight and that their families would enjoy their time together.
MIKE HURRIED UP THE BACK STEPS SHORTLY BEFORE FIVE o’clock. He had rushed through his projects at work as quickly as he could in hopes of getting home early. When a customer came in at a quarter to four to discuss ordering a set of planters for his business, however, Mike’s plans to leave early went up in smoke.
He rushed through the mudroom and entered the kitchen, where Marie was sitting at the table and looking at a book with John.