Sam gave her a hug. ‘It’s easy to be wise after the event,’ she said sympathetically, glancing round when she heard Khalid and his brother come into the room.
Her heart ached as the truth of that statement hit her. She should never have allowed Khalid to kiss her just now, certainly shouldn’t have responded the way she had done. Now she not only had to contend with her own emotions but with the knowledge that he still desired her. It would make it that much more difficult to keep him at arm’s length as she had to do if she wasn’t to find herself right back where she’d been six years ago: her heart broken and her life in tatters.
The thought lay heavily in her heart as she followed Mariam to the dining room. Once again the furniture and fitments were understated and ultra-modern, the only indication of the couple’s extreme wealth apparent in the exquisite china and beautiful cut-glass stemware that adorned the table. Candles had been lit and the glow from them should have added to the feeling of celebration, yet Sam found it difficult to get into the right frame of mind. She kept thinking back to what had happened in the rose garden, how Khalid had stated with such certainty that there was no future for them, and it hurt. It really hurt even though she had expected nothing else.
She glanced at him over the rim of her glass, watching how the flickering candlelight highlighted the strong planes of his handsome face. Khalid would never be hers and she would never be his. The future was already mapped out and it wasn’t about to change.
* * *
Somehow Khalid got through the evening but it was touch and go. He had to force himself to concentrate on the conversation because his mind kept skipping this way and that, always returning to those far-too-brief moments in the rose garden. He knew he should never have kissed Sam, knew that if he could go back in time he would resist temptation somehow, but for some inexplicable reason he didn’t regret it. Holding her in his arms, feeling her lips so sweet and responsive under his, was a memory he would cherish. What he did regret was the fact that he had hurt her.
The thought plagued him. It was a relief when the evening ended and he could escape to his room. Unlike the royal palaces, his brother had opted for a more relaxed approach when it came to housing his guests. Men and women weren’t segregated in separate areas and he discovered that his suite was right next to the one Sam was using. He went in and closed the door, forcing himself to think about nothing more than necessities. They would need to leave extra early the following morning if they weren’t to miss the start of clinic...
The sound of the terrace doors being opened in the adjoining suite made his thoughts tail off. He held his breath, his heart jerking painfully when he heard footsteps crossing the terrace. This section of the house overlooked the desert so was Sam taking the chance to enjoy the night-time peace and quiet, hoping that it would soothe her, comfort her, possibly make her feel that bit less hurt?
Knowing that he was responsible for how she felt made him feel worse than ever but there was nothing he could do, no words that he could say that would make the situation better for her. Or for him. If he offered her a future that was linked to his then, inevitably, she would suffer even more, and that was something he couldn’t tolerate. He had to protect her, protect himself too because he couldn’t bear the thought of suffering the same kind of heartache if he lost her.
‘Oh!’
The cry brought him to his feet. Crossing the room, Khalid flung open the terrace doors. Sam was standing at the edge of her terrace, her hand pressed to her throat. Although she had removed the headdress, she was still wearing the dress Mariam had lent her. Even though Khalid was more concerned about what had happened to make her cry out like that, he found himself thinking once again how much it suited her.
‘Are you all right?’ he demanded, struggling to confine his thoughts to areas where they needed to remain. ‘What happened? Why did you cry out like that?’
‘It was a lizard. I didn’t see it until it ran over my foot.’ She gave a little shudder then made a determined effort to collect herself. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.’
‘It doesn’t matter. So long as you’re all right, that’s the important thing.’ He half turned then realised that he couldn’t leave it like this. He had to try to repair some of the damage he had caused at the very least. ‘About tonight, Sam,’ he began, turning back.
‘Don’t! Please don’t apologise. I...I don’t think I could bear it.’
Her voice broke as she turned away but not before he had seen the tears that welled into her eyes. Khalid cursed under his breath as he leapt over the ornate iron railing that separated the terraces. Drawing her into his arms, he held her against him, hating himself when he felt the sobs that wracked her slender body. He had done this to her. Him. Nobody else.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he murmured, stroking her hair. The silky blonde strands twined around his fingers, binding her to him in the sweetest way possible, and his heart ran wild. If he could be granted one wish, it would be to bind her to him for ever, never to let her go, to keep her at his side for eternity. It was at that moment that he finally acknowledged what he had known in his heart for a long time: he loved her. He always would even though he could never have her.
Whether it was that thought, that final uncompromising admission that made him do what he had sworn he must never do, he wasn’t sure. But all of a sudden Khalid knew that he had to make love to her, that he couldn’t live out the rest of his life without that memory to keep him sane. Tilting her face, he looked deep into her eyes, knowing that he must make it clear what he was asking, offering.
‘I want us to make love, Sam, but only if you understand that it can never lead anywhere. You said before that I wouldn’t want a woman from your background in my life and it’s true, although not for the reasons you believe.’ He cupped her face between his hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. ‘The media interest would be unbearable for you. Your past would be raked up time and time again, every little thing that had happened to your family laid out for public consumption. It wouldn’t matter if half of it weren’t true—that wouldn’t stop them. It would be a nightmare for you.’
‘And for you.’ She met his gaze, met and held it. ‘It wouldn’t help you, Khalid, to be linked to a woman like me, would it?’ The laugh she gave was filled with such scorn that he flinched. ‘When the news first broke you couldn’t wait to get rid of me, could you? It must have come as a nasty shock to discover that my mother was just a step away from being a prostitute and that my brother was in prison.’
‘It wasn’t a shock. I already knew all about your background.’
‘You knew! But how could you?’
He heard the disbelief in her voice and realised that he had to explain. ‘Because my father’s security team had run a background check on you when we first met.’ He gave a little shrug. ‘They do it whenever I meet anyone new. They checked up on Peter as well.’
‘But that’s terrible! It’s an infringement of a person’s rights.’
‘I agree, but it’s something that happens all the time and not just in countries like Azad. Your own government is very good at checking into the backgrounds of various people,’ he added dryly.
She shook her head. ‘I still don’t think it’s right but that’s not the point, is it? If you knew about my past then why did you get involved with me? I would have thought you’d have run a mile rather than have your name linked to mine.’
‘Why did I get involved with you? Well, that’s easy.’ He took hold of her hands and held them lightly, willing her to believe him. He wouldn’t force her to accept what he had to say; she had to believe it in her own heart for it to mean anything. ‘Your past didn’t matter to me. The only thing I cared about was you, Sam. You. The person you were.’
He took a deep breath but there could be no holding back, no attempt to safeguard his pride at this stage. He had
to tell her the truth or be damned.
‘It’s still the only thing that matters to me. I don’t care about anything else. I only care about you and about making sure that you don’t get hurt again. That’s why I need you to think hard about what I am suggesting. I may want to make love with you, want it more than I’ve wanted anything in my life, but not if it means that you are going to suffer afterwards.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CANDLELIGHT LIT THE ROOM, its soft glow casting shadows over the bed. Sam lay on the cool, silk spread and waited while Khalid closed the shutters. Placing her hand on her heart, she felt it pounding beneath her palm.
She had been here before. Six years ago she had been in this very position, waiting, dreaming, wanting to make love with Khalid. The memory of her shock when he had told her that he had changed his mind was still so vivid that she closed her eyes, praying it wouldn’t happen a second time. She didn’t think she could bear another rejection.
The sound of his footsteps approaching the bed seemed unnaturally loud but Sam didn’t open her eyes. She was afraid to do so, afraid to face what might happen a second time. She heard him pause but still she couldn’t look at him—she was too scared.
‘Sam, look at me.’
His voice was low, filled with understanding, and her lids slowly lifted. He sat down on the side of the bed, lifting her hand and pressing a kiss to her palm. ‘Don’t be scared. If you’ve changed your mind then I understand. I don’t want you to do anything you might regret.’
Relief poured through her, swamped her. ‘I haven’t. Changed my mind, I mean. I was just afraid that you might have done, like last time...’
She broke off, not wanting to rake over the past at that moment and spoil it.
‘Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I should have realised.’
He gathered her to him, his lips painting a line of tender kisses down her cheek. He reached her jaw and lingered, his mouth resting on the tiny pulse that was beating there with such frenzy before he straightened. His voice sounded strained when he continued, hinting at the effort it had cost him to call a halt, and she felt reassured. This wasn’t going to be a repeat of the last time. There was no danger of that!
‘I haven’t changed my mind. If it’s what you want then it’s what I want too. Desperately.’
‘It is what I want, Khalid. I’m absolutely sure about that.’
Reaching up, she drew him down towards her, pressing her mouth to his, and heard him sigh. The kiss they shared was one of tenderness and understanding, of acceptance even, and it helped to dispel the very last of her fears. Maybe this night had to be a start, a middle and an end, but it would be worth it to have its memory stored in her heart. She could take it out whenever she needed to, remember how it had felt to have Khalid love her.
She closed her eyes, savouring the taste and feel of his lips as he scattered kisses over her face. He reached her throat and skated down it, pushing aside the folds of her dress so he could kiss the upper swell of her breasts. Mariam’s underwear had proved to be far too large for her so Sam had opted not to wear any that night. There’d been no real need as the flowing folds of the gown had protected her modesty. Now there was very little separating Khalid’s seeking mouth from her breasts and that was soon dispensed with.
‘You are so beautiful. So perfect...’ He couldn’t continue because he was too busy lavishing her breasts with kisses to speak.
Sam groaned as he drew her nipple between his lips. Admittedly her experiences of lovemaking were limited, but not once had she felt this need growing stronger and stronger inside her. It was as though it was consuming her totally so that she could no longer think, only feel, but that was probably for the best. She didn’t want to think and maybe start having doubts. She wanted this night to be perfect.
His hands returned to the row of tiny buttons down the front of her gown as he worked the rest of them free. Sam heard him suck in his breath as he parted the silky folds of cloth, exposing her naked body to his gaze, and shivered with anticipation. It really was going to happen. Tonight they were finally going to make love.
Khalid stood up and slid off his robe, letting it fall in a heap on the floor. His body was lean and fit, the taut muscles in his chest and shoulders flexing as he lay down beside her on the bed. Sam reached out and ran her hand over the smooth olive-toned skin on his chest, loving the way it slid beneath her palm like the purest silk. He had said that she was beautiful but he was beautiful too in his blatant masculinity.
Her hand glided on, down his chest, over his flat stomach until she reached the thatch of crisp black hair that delineated his masculinity. That he was deeply aroused was obvious and she paused, the colour flooding to her cheeks because all of a sudden she was overcome by shyness. The few times she had made love hadn’t prepared her for this. She wasn’t sure if she had the experience to make tonight as wonderful for him as she wanted it to be. The thought that she might disappoint him was like a heavy weight suddenly filling her heart.
‘What is it? Tell me, my love.’ His voice was soft and low, filled with such tenderness that Sam found herself blurting out the truth.
‘I’m afraid that you will be disappointed.’ She paused then hurried on. ‘I...I’m not very experienced when it comes to making love, you see. You...well, you could regret it.’
‘Never.’ He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers, one by one. His eyes were very dark as they met hers. ‘Nothing you do can ever disappoint me, Sam. Remember that.’
Bending, he kissed her on the lips, his mouth gentle at first then quickly becoming more demanding. Sam responded immediately, kissing him back with a hunger that she didn’t try to hide. Maybe she lacked his experience but she loved him so much and that would make up for it.
It was the first time she had admitted how she truly felt and it was both exhilarating and terrifying to have to face the fact that she still loved him. Sam drove the thought from her mind. She couldn’t deal with it right now, not when Khalid was making her body hum with desire as he stroked and caressed her. Everywhere his hands touched, it felt as though she was on fire, burning up with this insatiable need for him. One caress wasn’t enough, neither were a dozen. She wanted more and more, wanted the feelings he was arousing inside her to never end.
‘Sam!’ He cried out her name, his voice hoarse with passion, and she held him close, feeling her own body grow tense as all the sensations suddenly erupted into one huge conflagration.
Sam closed her eyes, seeing the flames licking behind her lids, feeling them pouring through her body. This was how it felt to make love, she thought as she slid over the edge into oblivion. This was how it was meant to be. But even as passion swept her away, she knew that it was only with Khalid that she would experience this depth of feeling, only with him that she would ever know how it really felt to be a woman. It was only Khalid who she would ever love this way.
* * *
Soft morning light filtered into the room, chasing away the night’s shadows. Khalid lay on his back and watched as the dawn broke. He wished he could stop it happening. Wished he could turn back the clock and keep time in abeyance but he didn’t have that power. The minutes would keep ticking past, the hours would keep on stacking up, and a new day would begin.
Last night had been the most wonderful experience he had ever known but it wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. It couldn’t be repeated either. It had been a one-off, a night that he knew would influence his life from now on. Making love with Sam had been everything he had dreamt it would be and so much more. Nothing that happened from here on could match it. Ever.
‘What’s wrong?’
The gently spoken question alerted him to the fact that Sam was awake. Rolling onto his side, he studied the delicate lines of her face. Her huge grey eyes were still heavy with sleep but he could see remnants of the passion they had shared ling
ering in their depths. That she had been as moved by the whole experience as he had been wasn’t in doubt and he suddenly found himself wishing that it hadn’t been so wonderful, so all-consuming for both of them. Maybe it would have been easier to do what needed to be done if they hadn’t found such delight in each other’s arms.
‘Nothing.’ He leant forward and kissed her lips, felt her shudder, and drew back. He couldn’t afford to make love to her again, couldn’t allow temptation to lead him from the path he had to take. For Sam’s sake he had to be strong and resist. Tossing back the sheet, he went to get out of bed but she stopped him.
‘Don’t lie, Khalid. I can tell that something is troubling you.’
He sighed as he sank back onto the mattress and took her in his arms. ‘I’m just feeling a little sad because the night has ended. That’s all it is.’
‘Is it?’ She drew back and looked at him. ‘It’s not because you regret what happened?’
‘No!’ He pulled her to him, held her close, willed her to believe that regret was the last thing he felt. He didn’t regret what they had done; his only regret was that it could never happen again. ‘I don’t regret it, Sam. How could I when it was everything I had dreamt it would be?’
He kissed her softly, letting his lips linger this time as he didn’t have the strength to resist. He could feel her trembling when he raised his head, see the passion that had ignited in her eyes again, and felt his own desire start to flow hotly through his veins. Maybe they couldn’t have for ever but they had now and that was something special. Magical.
They made love and once again it was perfect. Each kiss, each caress seemed to take on a depth and meaning he had never experienced before. Khalid’s heart was racing, aching, as he drove them both to fresh heights. He had never felt this kind of completion before, never known how it could feel to give and to receive love like this. It was only Sam who could arouse him this way, only Sam he wanted. They were both completely spent when they broke apart, both exhausted by such an outpouring of their passion. When Sam raised his hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, he trembled with need, with desire, with love for her.
One More Night with Her Desert Prince... Page 12