Blurring the Line

by Nicola Marsh

  Joel's mouth gaped as he stared at me like I'd lost my mind. "You chose physio because of me?"

  "Yeah, no accounting for taste, huh?" I pretended it meant nothing, lobbing in Melbourne to find him gone, when in reality I'd been heartbroken all over again. "That's what teenage girls do for their crushes. Make stupid, rash decisions that impact on their lives. But want to know something? I don't regret it for a second. Because I love what I do. I love treating people. And I'm going to be a kick-arse physio." I slapped him on the back. "Guess I should be thanking you."

  "You're nuts." He shook his head. "You're right about one thing, though. You're a great physio."

  "Thanks." I hadn't blushed once during our awkward conversation and my embarrassing revelations, but his praise made heat flush my cheeks.

  "I've enjoyed catching up, but I’m heading home." He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, and damned if the heat in my cheeks didn't deepen. "So scoot out, please."

  I hesitated, before doing as he asked.

  Joel may think he'd won the war but for me, the battle was only just beginning.

  Chapter 8

  JOEL

  Despite every instinct screaming to leave Annabelle at the restaurant and run home, I wasn't that much of a bastard.

  I offered to walk her back to the dorm. Which led me to this moment. The inevitable awkward goodbye. Awkward because all I wanted to do was haul her into my arms, back her up against the nearest wall and enter her.

  Yeah, I was that horny.

  She'd made small talk on the fifteen minute walk here, regaling me with anecdotes from back home, making me laugh with her imitations of some of the townsfolk of Uppity-Doo.

  I'd made appropriate responses in all the right places, but hadn't been able to get over the shock of having Annabelle verbalize what I wanted so badly.

  She wanted sex.

  I wanted sex.

  And there wasn't a hope in hell we'd be having sex.

  Bad enough I'd been reeling from her revealing that she wanted a short term fling, she'd followed up with that pearler of why she'd chosen to study physiotherapy.

  To get closer to me. Me, a dickhead with no intention of settling in one place any time soon. An idiot who'd severed ties with everyone in my past bar my Mum and even then, I felt guilty whenever she rang or emailed or Skyped because of my lack of contact.

  I was the last guy Annabelle should've followed on a whim. Yet one more thing I'd stuffed up, inadvertently or not.

  For a guy who'd dated on a casual basis around the world, there was something about Annabelle that always made me feel … inadequate. Like I wasn't good enough. Undeserving.

  Crazy, because I'd never believed in any psychobabble bullshit, but when she looked at me with those big, blue eyes, I felt like she could see deep inside me, right down to my flaky soul, and found me lacking.

  "You're awfully quiet," she said, leaning against a tree in the shadows of the rear entrance to her dorm. "I'm hoping that means you're mulling over my proposal."

  "Cut it out, squirt," I said, unaware I'd reverted to another childhood nickname until she slugged me on the arm.

  "You're a big, fat phony." She rubbed my arm where she'd hit me a moment ago. Yeah, like that was making the hard-on situation any easier. "You pretend the past meant nothing, that Uppity-Doo is nothing more than a distant memory, but I reckon you remember more than you let on."

  Her coy smile alerted me to yet another incoming zinger. "Go on, admit it, you've been secretly pining for me for years."

  I snorted. "That's one hell of an imagination, kid."

  Her smile widened. "Smellie-Bellie. Squirt. Kid." She slugged me on the arm again. "Yeah, you want me real bad."

  "Never said I didn't."

  The moment those four revealing words tumbled from my mouth, I wanted to take them back. I wanted to laugh them off, wanted to pretend I'd bought into her teasing game.

  But as I watched her smile fade and her wide-eyed gaze focus on my mouth like it was the best damn thing she'd ever seen, I knew I was done lying. To her. To myself.

  Because ignoring this attraction between us for the next three weeks would drive me batshit crazy.

  "So what are we going to do about this?" She stepped closer and laid her palm on my chest. I could feel her heat through the cotton. Could smell that sweetly addictive cinnamon vanilla fragrance. Yep, I was in way over my head.

  "Nothing," I said, making a mockery of my useless denial a second later when my arms slid around her waist. I hauled her against me, and slammed my mouth on hers.

  I shouldn't have done it. I should've stuck by my vow to leave her alone. But as she opened her mouth and her tongue touched mine, I knew my willpower wasn't that good.

  I lost it. Backing her up against the tree. Sliding my hands down her back. Cupping her butt. Rubbing against her like a goddamn virginal teen. Devouring her with my mouth. Kissing her until I saw spots or stars or zigzags that blurred my vision.

  I wrenched my mouth from hers to drag in a breath, but she fisted her hands in my polo shirt and dragged me back, her lips clinging to mine as she made soft, needy sounds that had me forgetting everything but my name.

  I couldn't afford to forget. Couldn't afford to stuff up more than I already had. Because giving in to my baser instincts with Annabelle could only end badly. I'd already hurt her once by running out on her. No way in hell I'd do it again.

  I grabbed her upper arms and eased her away, hating the confusion clouding her eyes. I knew the feeling. Bewildered. Perplexed. And more uncertain than I’d ever been. But I knew one thing. Pushing her away again may just be the hardest thing I'd ever do but it would be worth it in the long run.

  I had to work with Annabelle for the next three weeks. Three long, torturous weeks where I'd have to forget she kissed like a dream and felt even better.

  "I have to go—"

  "Stay," she said, snagging my hand. "Please."

  I wanted to. Hell, I'd never wanted anything more in my life.

  But I couldn't do this to her. Not again.

  "'Night." I squeezed her hand then tugged mine free. Kissed her on the cheek. And strode away before I did something I'd regret.

  Stay. Tonight, and every other night until I moved on.

  Chapter 9

  ANNABELLE

  I didn't sleep that night. Instead, I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, replaying the exact moment Joel had given in to the attraction sizzling between us and kissed me.

  That kiss … indescribable. A thousand times better than I remembered. I'd been burning from the inside out, my skin tingling, my scalp prickling, my lips scorching.

  I'd wanted more. He had too, that much had been obvious when he'd pressed against me.

  But he was still struggling with some stupid self-recrimination-guilt that insisted he not take advantage of me; despite me wanting him to do just that.

  He'd been tortured when he'd left. I'd seen it on his face, in his eyes, in his rigid posture. Like it was taking every ounce of his self-control not to hold me again.

  So I'd let him go. Still the lily-livered coward I'd been four years ago, I'd let him walk away.

  But this time was different. I wouldn't stop until I had what I wanted.

  And I wanted Joel.

  I waited until seven a.m. before ringing Dani. If anyone knew what to do with a recalcitrant guy, it would be my loud, outrageous friend who'd had her fair share of male dramas before she'd met the love of her life.

  Dani answered on the fifth ring. "Crazy Aussie chick, do you know what time it is? This may be a normal waking hour in that ass end of the earth Hicksville town you come from, but for civilized folk it's way too early."

  I grinned. "You, civilized? Give me a break."

  "Hanging up now," she mumbled, with a distinct rustle of bed sheets.

  "I need your help. With a guy. I'm desperate," I added, in case she was falling back asleep.

  "I'm awake." I heard a crash, followed by a string of exp
letives. "Sorry, babe, just knocked the alarm clock off the side table in my shock that you're actually showing interest in a member of the male species."

  "Bitch."

  "Yep, definitely hanging up now."

  "Wait," I yelled, wanting to throttle Dani as she laughed.

  "As if. Give me a second." There was the mumble of voices, the sickening sound of smooching, before Dani returned. "Sorry. Ash's heading out for a jog, had to say bye before you dish the dirt on this man of yours."

  "He's not my man. Yet." No matter how much I wished he was.

  "Let me guess. It's that hot physio dude from the bar?" Dani snickered. "Bet he's very talented with his hands."

  From what I could attest to, hell yeah. But that wasn't my dilemma at the moment. I needed advice from an experienced woman of the world. Pronto.

  "He's playing hard to get. What do you think I should do?"

  Dani laughed. "That's easy, sweetie. Seduce him."

  "How?"

  "Are you really that backward? Well, a guy has this hard, long thing if you're lucky, called a penis, and—"

  "I'm serious, Dani. I'm hopeless with this stuff." I rubbed the back of my hand across my sand-papery eyes. "You've had tons of boyfriends. I've had one—"

  "One? Seriously?"

  "Your audible incredulity isn't helping, but yeah, one. A dork that I dated first year at uni to get over … Joel."

  Dani wolf-whistled. "Joel? He of the hot hands, physio-Joel?"

  "Yeah. We have a past." I sighed, not wanting to reveal exactly how pathetic I'd been back then and how bad I'd had it for Joel. "But it's the present I'm more interested in."

  "What's happened so far? Any action to indicate he's keen on you?"

  "He's keen." And how. "We made out last night. It was … hot."

  Dani hooted. "Coming from you, I'm guessing that means you practically stripped naked."

  "I wish," I murmured, before clearing my throat. "He's hung up over the fact we're working together and doesn't want to complicate things."

  "I can understand that." Dani paused, and I could almost hear the wheels turning in her head. "He's making excuses, because if I know you, no way would you jeopardize your career for a fling."

  "Too right." I eyed my textbooks stacked on my desk. "I've already told him we keep things professional at work, but after hours …"

  Dani sniggered. "Yeah?"

  "That's where you come in."

  "Sorry, sweetie, I'm not into the group thing—"

  "I need ideas!"

  Dani laughed. "If he was into kissing you, you're already half way there. I'm guessing it wouldn't take much beyond sexy lingerie and a few bold moves to get him to capitulate."

  The thought of rocking up to Joel's front door wearing next to nothing and jumping him made me feel sick. I wasn't that brave. Never had been.

  While I mulled my lack of sexy moves, Dani continued. "The key is to catch him unawares. Never underestimate the power of surprise."

  "Think I did enough of that last night." The look on his face when I'd revealed the real reason why I'd chosen to study physio had been priceless: a mix of horror and open-mouthed shock.

  "Exactly how far did you go last night?"

  "Not far enough," I muttered, remembering all too clearly how good he'd felt pressing against me, how he'd moaned when I'd grabbed his butt, how I'd almost come with a little dry humping. "You really think I need to be more forward and show him I mean business rather than just talking about it?"

  "Abso-frikking-lutely." I could sense Dani nodding. "Words are wasted on guys. Actions definitely speak louder."

  Dani hadn't told me anything I didn't already know, had pondered, and discarded as downright ludicrous.

  But I could spend the next three weeks stressing over this and driving myself crazy, or I could actually do something to drive Joel crazy.

  "You're right." I sat up straighter. "Don't think a word I said sunk in, so guess I need to show him."

  "Good girl." Dani hesitated. "If you need any help shopping for goodies, let me know."

  I'd seen Dani's closet and our version of goodies were poles apart.

  "Thanks."

  She made a smooch sound. "Gotta go. Ash hates jogging so I'm hoping he'll be back soon and will want to work off energy in other ways—"

  "See you later." I hung up before Dani could regale me with intimate details of her sexcapades. Between her and Mia, I wasn't sure who was worse. Just because they were loved up didn't mean they had to gloat.

  Okay, so that wasn't fair. I'd grown to value the girls' friendship. Dani's had been long distance while she was in Melbourne, but she'd been kind enough to tell her bestie Mia to look out for me at DU and we'd been buddies ever since.

  Their friendship was important to me and I valued the girly stuff we did, like brunches and mani/pedis. But having to listen to them gush about their hot boyfriends accentuated what I didn't have. And now wanted. With Joel.

  Time to up the stakes and as my gaze landed on a flyer advertising an upcoming orthopedic conference scheduled for next weekend, I knew exactly what I had to do.

  Chapter 10

  JOEL

  I'd done it.

  Managed to keep my hands off Annabelle for the entire week.

  My reward? Being shipped off to a conference in Albuquerque for the weekend, all expenses paid, courtesy of the physio who was now officially on maternity leave with her premature delivery.

  I valued professional development and ensured I kept abreast of latest advances despite moving around so much. And heading away for a three day weekend couldn't have come at a better time.

  Annabelle had kept her word and remained strictly professional while shadowing me. Not once had she stepped out of line. But I'd seen the truth in her eyes. She wanted me as badly as I wanted her.

  I'd caught her off-guard occasionally, when she'd thought I wasn't looking, and the wistful longing in her expression told me she hadn't forgotten that kiss we'd shared last weekend, far from it.

  She wasn't the only one. Cold showers and jerking off hadn't diminished the power of that kiss and the promise of what we could have if I gave in.

  Hell, she'd basically given me every guy's dream on a platter: commitment-free sex for a limited period. I was tempted, man, was I tempted.

  I could see it so clearly every time I closed my eyes: the way her creamy skin flushed when she was aroused, the way her eyes widened, the way her lips parted and emitted sexy panting sounds that turned me on just thinking about it.

  But I'd honed avoiding conflict into an art-form over the years and I'd be damned if I gave in to my relentless desire for Annabelle only to suffer the consequences later.

  Glancing down at the bulge in my pants, I grimaced. Being hundreds of miles away from Annabelle didn't diminish the hold she had over me.

  A short, sharp knock sounded at the hotel door and I stood, readjusted myself for decency sake, before answering it.

  I'd experienced enough room service around the world to know this would be a perfunctory visit while they laid out the dishes before disappearing, leaving me to not taste a morsel while I pondered the increasingly untenable situation with Annabelle.

  However, when I opened the door, dinner wasn't waiting for me.

  Annabelle was.

  Dressed in a knee-length coat-dress belted at the waist. With black leather boots that hugged her calves like she'd been poured into them.

  Fuck.

  "What the hell are you doing here—"

  "Don't talk." She laid a palm on my chest and pushed her way into the room, pausing only to hang the Do Not Disturb sign outside. "And I've cancelled your room service, citing a bad case of gastro."

  Wondering if that second bourbon had gone to my head and this was some bizarre hallucination I'd conjured up for wanting Annabelle so badly and not having her, I let her push me toward the bed. When the backs of my knees hit the bed, she shoved, sending me sprawling.

  If I wasn't so stu
nned, I could've resisted. Yeah, as if. Stunned or not, I didn't want this to stop, because seeing Annabelle in that get-up, taking charge? Biggest turn on yet.

  "You shouldn't be here," I said, needing to protest yet wanting her so much I could barely breathe.

  In response, she unknotted the belt at her waist. "One of us has to be adult enough to take charge."

  "You know why this can't happen—"

  "And it's bullshit." She undid the top button and I caught a glimpse of creamy cleavage. "We both want this, Joel. And all your twisted logic of why we shouldn't won't stand up now."

  She slipped another button through its loop, revealing a white lace bra, demure and damn sexy. Innocent yet seductive. Annabelle all over.

  Because of our past, because of our friendship, because of what she meant to me, I tried to stop the madness one last time.

  I sat up, held up a hand. "We can't do this."

  "We can and we will." With sure fingers that didn't fumble, she undid the remaining four buttons on her coat- dress.

  I didn't stop her.

  My lungs had seized somewhere around the fourth button, when she'd revealed the top of her matching white lace panties. I was rock hard. Aching for her. My brain turned to mush.

  She slipped the dress off her shoulders and it slithered to the floor. I groaned. Because Annabelle's pale, creamy skin glowed, almost incandescent, in the light cast from the lamps next to the bed. The lingerie was simple, the glint in her eyes complex.

  This sweet, gorgeous girl wanted me. Me, a bastard guaranteed to break her heart.

  But I was done fighting.

  By the determined expression on her face, Annabelle wouldn't let up until we'd done this. Which meant the next two weeks would be hell. Blue-ball hell, now I'd have this image of her semi-naked imprinted on my brain.

  "I didn't peg you for the seductress type," I said, scooting to the edge of the bed, within touching distance.