by Gayle, Mike
‘What about Carly’s?’ I suggested, thinking about Rosie’s best friend. ‘Maybe there’s a chance that Rosie told her what she was doing?’
‘I tried her after I spoke to the police,’ said Penny, ‘but she wasn’t answering her phone. I’ve left messages but I haven’t heard anything since.’
‘Well, I’ll go round to her house. Maybe Rosie told her what her plan was. You never know. It’s got to be worth a shot.’
‘And what if the kids have only just got to London and are on their way to yours now?’
‘I guarantee you, Penny, if the kids are only just reaching London the police will pick them up straight away. They’ve been on the news here. And if they’re on their way to mine I’ll make sure the neighbours keep a lookout for them. But I have to try Carly.’
Carly looked like she was about to burst into tears at any moment as she stood next to her mum in the hallway of their house. ‘I don’t know where she is, Mr Clarke, honestly. You’ve got to believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you about something like this.’
‘I know you wouldn’t,’ I said. ‘We just need to find her and Jack as soon as possible and anything you can tell me that might help would be really useful.’
‘But I’ve told the police everything I know.’
‘Well they haven’t told me, so it would be great if you could tell me what you told them. Maybe it’ll trigger something. When was the last time you spoke to Rosie? What did you talk about?’
‘The usual. School. Homework. What people had been saying. Things that had been on telly. Oh . . . and we talked about you.’
‘Me?’
‘She was saying that she wouldn’t have had to move away if it hadn’t been for you and Mrs Clarke splitting up. She said that she didn’t know what it was that you did but she was sure that it was your fault. I told her that parents get divorced all the time without it being anyone’s fault but she wouldn’t listen.’
Rosie knew. She knew that I was to blame for everything. Was that why she had wanted to come to London? To confront me about breaking up our family?
‘And that’s all she said?’
‘About you?’
‘About anything.’
‘The last thing I heard from her was a text that I got on the way to school. All it said was that she missed me loads and she’d see me soon. I thought she was talking about coming to see me during half term. I never thought that she was going to come down to London on her own.’
‘I know you didn’t,’ I replied. ‘But will you promise me something? Will you promise to call me – whether it’s day or night – if you even so much as get a missed call from her?’
‘I will, Mr Clarke. I’ll call you right away.’
My phone rang as I reached my house. It was Penny. I hoped she had good news.
‘The police have just called,’ she said. ‘They have CCTV images of Rosie and Jack taken at nine twenty a.m. at Harrogate station and getting off at King’s Cross just after twelve thirty.’ It was a small relief, but a relief none the less. They were definitely in London. How many times had I taken Rosie on the tube over the years? Was it too much to hope that she’d know how to get from King’s Cross to Lewisham on the underground and by the DLR?
‘How did you get on with Carly?’ asked Penny. ‘Did you manage to get hold of her?’
‘The police had already interviewed her. Apparently the last thing she heard from Rosie was a text saying that she’d see her soon. Carly thought she was talking about the holidays.’ I thought about telling Penny what Rosie had said about me but decided against it. This was neither the time nor the place.
‘Where are you now?’
‘Back at my place trying to work out where to try next.’ My phone buzzed. I had another call coming through. It was Van. ‘I’d better go, another call. Call me when you reach London.’ I switched calls. ‘Any news?’
‘None yet,’ said Van. ‘Paul’s made up some fliers and brought them over to me here at King’s Cross and is on his way to Victoria coach station now.’
‘Tell him not to bother,’ I replied. ‘I’ve just had word that they definitely came in at King’s Cross so concentrate your efforts there if you can.’
‘Will do,’ said Van. There was a pause and then he added, ‘Listen mate, I don’t care how long it takes I’m not going home till we find them. How you holding up?’
‘I’m fine, honest. I just—’ I swallowed hard. ‘I don’t know where to look next. Part of me thinks I should wait here in case they turn up and then another part thinks I should carry on looking.’
‘You should trust your gut,’ said Van. ‘No one knows your kids better than you do. Whatever you do will be the right thing.’
I ended the call and stared at my phone. Van was right. No one did know our kids better than Penny and I so where could they be? I’d already tried all the obvious places and yet they weren’t at my house, their grandparents’, Carly’s or the family home. How could it be that they’d just disappeared? I had to have missed something. Rosie would know that Penny would be worried sick about her, that’s why she’d left the note on her bed, so why would she have written that she was going home and then not gone there? There had to be an explanation. She’d run away because she wanted to be home and with Jack with her it would have to be somewhere she’d think was safe, somewhere she’d be sure they’d both feel secure. I felt a tiny click in my head as thoughts slotted together. There could only be one place that she could be. I was sure of it. I couldn’t waste another second. I ran into the hallway, flung open the front door and without bothering to close it behind me started running like my very life depended on it.
How old had Rosie been when Penny and I had first discovered her favourite hiding place? Four? Five at the most, I was sure. Jack was just a baby then, and had been down for his afternoon nap when Rosie had requested that we play hide-and-seek with her. She would take the first turn to hide – she had been insistent about that – and then after the count of ten Penny and I would try to find her. I’d been so certain that we would find her instantly I’d insisted that Penny give her an extra ten seconds before we yelled at the top of our voices, ‘Coming! Ready or not!’ I had gone straight to the living room, checking behind the sofa and chairs, underneath the coffee table and behind boxes of toys before yelling up to Penny, ‘She’s not downstairs!’ and joining her in a search of the bedrooms. After ten minutes of looking absolutely everywhere – underneath beds, inside wardrobes, and behind every piece of furniture we owned – it was as though she had vanished. That was when the panic set in. She did understand the rules of hide-and-seek didn’t she? She did know it was an indoor game not an outdoor one? In a panic I’d ran to the back door but it was locked as were the French doors in the living room. Penny called from the front of the house. The latch was still on the front door and she would have had to climb on something to reach it anyway. We began calling out to her. Rosie, where are you? Rosie, we give up. You’ve won, the game’s over. But there was nothing. Penny began to panic, what if something had happened to her? What if she was lying unconscious somewhere? It was a mother’s duty to always fear the worst and Penny was no different. I reassured her that Rosie was fine, and I was sure that she was, I could feel it in my gut. ‘She’s just found the best hiding place there is and she doesn’t want to give it up without giving us a run for our money.’
We continued calling out her name, Penny’s cries becoming increasingly frantic. We returned to each of the rooms we’d already checked. Sofas and bookcases were pulled away from walls, tables were upturned, and the clothes basket emptied on to the floor. No idea of where she might be was deemed too ridiculous to rule out and we searched everywhere so long as it ticked another potential hiding place off the list.
‘We need to think like a five year old,’ I’d said as we stood in the hallway, Penny close to tears. ‘Where would a five year old think is the best hiding place?’
‘Somewhere dark maybe, where they couldn’t be
seen or heard.’
‘Like a wardrobe,’ I mused. ‘As a kid my brother and I used to hide in ours all the time.’
‘But we’ve checked—’ Penny suddenly rushed up the stairs with me chasing after her. We came to a halt outside our bedroom and without any hesitation Penny went to the airing cupboard and flung open the door. Rosie was inside the cupboard, sitting on top of a pile of blankets, surrounded by cushions from her room reading one of her comics by the light of her pink princess torch.
‘This is my favourite hiding place,’ she’d said proudly. ‘I knew you’d never find me here.’
Penny had swept her up into her arms while I inspected the cupboard, which had clearly been commandeered for her own personal use some time ago. There were books, spare batteries for her torch, a tub of raisins, her pencil case and a colouring book too. It was like a home from home.
‘This is the best place in the whole house,’ Rosie had explained, completely oblivious to the terror she had caused. ‘I like it because it’s dark and cosy like a mole’s house.’
Entering the family home once more I called up the stairs but there was no reply. Had I got it wrong? Surely they would have said something by now if they had been here? I didn’t dare breathe as I took the stairs two at a time. I didn’t know what I was going to do if I was wrong about this. Every last shred of hope I had was pinned on them being behind the door to the airing cupboard. I turned on the light. The house was as silent and still as it had been on my last visit but as I opened the airing cupboard door and peered inside there they were, huddled together underneath their outdoor coats. In front of them was a half-eaten loaf of bread, two packets of custard creams and a two-litre bottle of lemonade. They both looked petrified as if they were about to be on the receiving end of the mother of all admonishments but telling them off was the furthest thing from my mind. All I wanted to do right now was hold them both in my arms and never let them go.
I lifted them out of the cupboard and set them down on the bare floorboards. They looked exhausted but it was nothing a decent meal and good night’s sleep wouldn’t sort out. I hugged them tightly and Rosie, who already looked tearful, started to sob, which set Jack off too.
‘Everything’s fine, now, you’re both safe,’ I whispered. ‘There’s nothing to worry about now that Dad’s here.’
There was so much to do now that I had found them, so many people to call. I thought about the police scouring the area around King’s Cross, my mum and Penny’s mum and stepdad waiting anxiously by the phone, and the Divorced Dads’ Club handing out homemade leaflets in the dark to passing Londoners. They all needed to be contacted, but as deserving as they all were, none was more so than Penny. I had to call her, and put her out of her misery.
She answered after the first ring.
‘It’s me,’ I said. ‘I’ve found them. They’re with me and they’re safe.’
35
It was late and the kids were safely tucked up in bed and the Divorced Dads’ Club and I were all sitting in the living room enjoying a celebratory beer – the least I could offer them given how much they’d done for me. Van took a sip from his bottle and looked at me. ‘So have you found out why they ran away?’
‘They haven’t been explicit but it’s easy enough to read between the lines. I think they missed their home and friends and life here and thought sneaking away would be the easiest way to get it back.’
Stewart laughed. ‘I bet now they wish they’d just called you on the phone instead of deciding to pay you a visit!’
‘I think we all wish that,’ said Paul. ‘I’ve never seen so many dodgy things in my life as I did handing out fliers around King’s Cross after dark. It’s a different world out there.’
‘Talking of which,’ I replied, setting down my bottle on the coffee table. ‘I know you’re going to say it’s nothing but, genuinely, hand on heart I can’t begin to tell you guys what it’s meant to have you help me out like this. It’s been—’ I stopped, unable to continue as I found myself getting choked up.
‘You don’t need to say a word, mate,’ said Van. ‘You would have done the same for any of us. That’s what we’re about. That’s what we’ve always been about.’
Overwhelmed with gratitude I was about to thank them all once more when the doorbell rang. Closing the door on the chatter in the living room I made my way along the hallway and opened the front door to find Penny standing on the doorstep. She looked small, fragile and completely exhausted and the sight of her stirred a deep desire within me to protect her for all time. From this day forward I’d never let anything bad happen to her. From this moment on my only wish would be to make her happy. Without saying a word she dropped the bag in her hands and threw her arms around me.
‘They’re OK, they’re OK,’ I said, stroking her hair as she sobbed with relief. ‘Everything’s fine now. We’re all home.’
Penny stayed upstairs with the kids for so long that the mug of tea and plate of toast I’d made for her had gone cold. I began to wonder whether she had fallen asleep on the bed next to the kids but just as the guys were beginning to talk about heading back to their own homes and relieving the friends, neighbours and family that were looking after their kids, Penny came into the room.
‘They’re both fast asleep. Sorry I’ve been so long. I’m not disturbing anything am I?’
From the look on her face it was easy to tell that she didn’t quite know what to make of the motley collection of men standing in her ex-husband’s living room. Obviously she knew Van already but the badly dressed tubby chap and the guy who looked like an off-duty geography teacher were clearly new to her. I made the introductions. ‘You’ve met Van before and well, this is Stewart and this is Paul and they’ve been amazing, Pen. They printed up fliers and spent the whole evening handing them out to people around King’s Cross. They’re an incredible bunch of guys. That’s the only way to describe them.’
Penny opened her mouth to speak but, overwhelmed with emotion, tears started rolling down her cheeks. I went over and put my arms around her. Drying her eyes with the back of her hands she said, ‘I can’t begin to thank you all for everything you’ve done. Joe’s so lucky to have friends like you.’
Van laughed and the moment I looked over at him I knew exactly what he was going to say. ‘Truth is,’ he said with a grin, ‘I don’t think Joey was all that keen on us to begin with but we kind of grew on him, you know, like athlete’s foot or a verruca. I doubt that he could have gotten rid of us even if he’d wanted to.’
After one final toast to happy endings, the guys gathered their things together and said their goodbyes to Penny.
‘It was great to meet you again,’ said Van. ‘And remember any time you and your friends fancy a night of top-flight entertainment courtesy of London’s premier Van Halen tribute act, just say the word and I’ll pop you on the list.’
‘Thanks,’ she said, and kissed him on the cheek. ‘And that goes for all of you.’ Penny planted a kiss on Paul and Stewart in turn. ‘You really have been amazing today. You’ll have to let me cook a meal for you all sometime soon so I can say a proper thank-you.’
As the guys put on their coats out in the hallway I took my turn to say a final thank-you. ‘Listen,’ I began, ‘I don’t know what I did to deserve a bunch of mates like you but whatever it is I’m glad that I did it. Once we’re all settled we should have a proper blow-out, pub, curry, and then maybe back to the pub again, my treat.’
Van laughed. ‘You do know that I can drink quite a lot in a single sitting, don’t you?’ He patted my back and everyone laughed. ‘Joey, we’ll be happy just to get our regular night at the Red Lion back up and running. Don’t worry about anything else mate, we’re as low-maintenance as they come. Just concentrate on looking after that family of yours. Right now they’re all that matters.’
Van’s words were still ringing in my ears as I returned to the living room in search of Penny. The room was empty and as I walked into the hallway wondering if sh
e had gone upstairs I spotted her in the kitchen just coming in through the back door.
She looked up as I came in. ‘Just emptying your bin.’
‘You needn’t have done that. I was going to tackle it in the morning.’
Penny smiled. ‘I wanted to do something.’
‘You must be starving. What do you fancy to eat? I did a quick shop earlier. I could do you beans on toast if you like or rustle you up some pasta.’
‘Toast will be fine.’
I dropped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster and filled the kettle. ‘Coffee or tea?’
‘Tea, thanks.’
I got out a mug from the cupboard and deposited a tea bag into it. In the background the kettle roared as it boiled. The silence between us was awkward; I could practically feel the nervous energy crackling in the air.
Was this it? I wondered. Was this how we were going to get back together? Our kids run away and travel over two hundred miles to reach their former home and we as parents realise the error of our ways and kiss and make up, right here in the kitchen?
I was hoping that there would be a look on her face, a glint in her eye, a slight smile, even a raise of the eyebrow that would somehow signal I wasn’t alone in seeing hope in our current situation, but Penny’s face was neutral, her eyes tired, there was nothing at all about her that even hinted we were thinking along the same lines.
Seeing me staring she suddenly became self-conscious. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Are you sure?’
I nodded, ‘I was a million miles away, that’s all.’
‘You must be shattered. You should get to bed.’
‘I’m fine.’
The toast popped and the kettle boiled. I buttered her toast, made her tea, and followed her into the living room.