Ryan rested her head on her friend's shoulder as she took in a deep breath. "I'm glad you told me, Ally. I've always been a little insecure about why you didn't want to get closer. There was a part of me that thought you just didn't like me enough."
"Nothing could be further from the truth," she whispered, gathering her in her arms for a tender hug. "I love you, Ryan, and I always will. But I want you to be with someone who can love you for yourself, without the echoes of the past invading constantly."
"I'm so glad you told me," she sniffed as she tried to stifle her tears.
Ally grabbed a tissue and gently wiped the tears that threatened to escape from Ryan's red-rimmed eyes. "It's okay, Sugar," she said softly as she patted her back. "It's okay."
Jamie could hear nothing but low voices coming from the parlor, and she knew that if Ryan wanted her to come back she would appear in the kitchen, so she busied herself making a very attractive platter of cheese and fruit. She was in the middle of brewing espresso when she felt herself being enveloped in a warm hug. "Thank you," Ryan whispered as she leaned over her.
"For what?" Jamie asked as she turned in her lover's embrace.
"For inviting her, for asking her all of those questions, for being my lover, for putting up with me when I'm cranky, and for being the prettiest girl in the whole Bay Area."
"Most of those things are part of the job description, Love. And I think you're a little biased about the prettiest girl thing."
"I am biased," Ryan admitted. "But I still think you're the most wonderful woman in the world."
It was quite late when Ally finally said goodbye. Jamie accepted a hug, but when Ally turned to Ryan the smaller woman suggested, "Honey, why don't you walk Ally out to her car?"
Ryan shot her a grateful look as she escorted her friend to the street. "She seems like a very understanding woman," Ally said, grasping Ryan's hand.
"She is that," Ryan said fondly. "And given my past, she has reason to be insanely jealous. But she seems more interested in my past than suspicious of it. Like tonight. I thought she wanted to know more about you, but I think she really wanted to know more about me."
"Well I think you did very well for yourself. I hope you bring each other a lot of happiness."
"We do," Ryan agreed. "We really do."
"I just find one thing kind of funny," Ally said as she folded her long frame into her small car. She looked up at Ryan with a grin and revealed, "I think it's cute that such a little woman can top you so easily."
"Hey!" Ryan complained good-naturedly. "I told you-I am not a bottom!"
"Keep dreaming, Sugar. But I will let you in on a little secret," she said as Ryan leaned down into her open window. "The fact that you don't recognize it is what makes it so darned cute!"
For the final time that night, Ryan blushed deeply as she shook her head and smiled down at her friend. "You keep in touch, Big Girl," she said fondly as she leaned in for a kiss.
"I will. Take care of your precious self." She gave Ryan one final broad smile and a little wave as she drove off down the dark street.
When Ryan came back in the house, she stood behind her partner at the sink and wrapped her arms around her tightly. Jamie didn't speak, didn't ask her why she was nearly squeezing the breath out of her…since she had a fairly good idea. Drying her hands quickly, she leaned her head back against her partner and stroked her bare arms for a few moments.
"Thanks," Ryan said softly, after a long time had passed.
Turning in her embrace, Jamie just looked up at her and said, "You're welcome, Sweetheart." She ran her hands through Ryan's hair, tossing it behind her shoulders and fluffing the bangs. "You had a pretty tough night, didn't you?"
With a ghost of a smile, Ryan nodded, pleased that Jamie seemed to understand that the discussion with Ally had taken a lot out of her. "How about you? Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm great," Jamie said sincerely. "I learned a lot about Ally, and, more importantly, a lot about you."
"I learned a lot, too," Ryan agreed. "I guess I feel better…but I feel a little raw, you know?"
"Yes, I know," she soothed. "Why don't we go to bed now? We can finish cleaning up in the morning."
Ryan looked around suspiciously, her eyes wide as she said, "You don't think Da can see dirty dishes from Noe, do you? He'd rather we leave the front door open all night than leave the kitchen dirty."
"You look like you need some hugs," Jamie declared, taking her partner's hand. "Sometimes hugs are more important than anything else…even something as vital as a clean kitchen." She gripped the tip of Ryan's nose between her thumb and index finger and gave it a gentle tug. "That'll be our little secret, Sweetie. We'll never admit that we broke the cardinal rule of the O'Flaherty family."
When Jamie came out of the bath, Ryan was in the process of unlacing her boots. She kicked them off and stood to unbuckle her belt, with Jamie watching her out of the corner of her eye as she went to get a T-shirt for herself from the dresser. The jeans fell to the floor, and Ryan bent over to pick them up, showing off her cute little butt to Jamie's appreciative eyes. The taller woman hooked her thumbs into her shorts to peel them off, but Jamie came up behind her and placed a hand on her arm. "Leave 'em," she said softly, meeting Ryan's surprised eyes.
The full, pink lips curled into a grin, blue eyes sparking interest as her voice dropped a little and she said, "All right."
Jamie pushed her back onto the bed and crawled up next to her, resting her head on Ryan's chest. The dark woman still wore her sports bra and sleeveless black T-shirt, and Jamie decided to leave both garments on her for the time being. She pulled the shirt up just enough to be able to reach her hand inside the shorts and begin to rub gentle circles on Ryan's belly. "I don't think of you with other women much," she said. "I used to," she added with a chuckle, "but I don't anymore."
"Tell me about the used to part," Ryan asked, loving it when her partner talked about the beginnings of her sexual desire for her.
Jamie laughed softly, her fingers never ceasing their gentle stroking. "We had a few pretty intense discussions when I was with Jack," she reminded her. "Especially when I got comfortable enough to tell you how bad things were with him sexually."
"Yeah…" Ryan said, urging her on.
"Yeah…we had a really uh…intense discussion when I was down at my parents'…I guess it was Thanksgiving…or maybe Christmas…"
"Thanksgiving," Ryan said emphatically. "We went for a bike ride and we stopped at a picnic table and started talking about sex." Her eyebrows popped a few times as she said, "It was fun."
Jamie sat up just enough to be able to face her, then asked, "Were you…um…did you think…did you…um…what do you mean, fun?"
"Not that kinda fun," Ryan smiled. "I didn't allow myself to consciously think of you in a sexual manner back then. But even though my mind didn't participate, I think my body was reacting to you." She smiled gently and said, "It was a long ride home."
"Oooh," Jamie smiled as her hand slipped out of the shorts and came to rest between Ryan's legs. She gave her a gentle pat and asked, "Got your motor running, huh?"
"Yep. I got home, stripped, and climbed into bed without even taking a shower." She gave her partner a rakish grin and added, "I had myself good that day."
Jamie smiled at her choice of words and echoed them. "I had myself, too," she admitted. "We'd been talking about oral sex, and I had this image that I could not banish from my brain. I saw you, on your back, with some unspecified woman between your legs, loving you with her mouth." She shivered violently as she recalled the image, still clear in her mind. "I could just feel what you were feeling as she licked and nibbled on you-thanks to your excellent powers of description, I might add," she said, patting Ryan's belly.
"I hadn't thought about the woman that introduced me to oral sex in the longest time," Ryan smiled. "But she had me again that afternoon." She chuckled low in her chest as she added, "She'd gotten even better over the years."
> "I just bet she did," Jamie smiled. "Anyway, back to my original point. I don't often think of you with someone else, but when Ally was talking about how you were when she was with you the first time, I started to get excited."
"Really?" Ryan smiled, rolling onto her side to see her partner more fully.
"Really. I had this image of you…all cute and innocent and naïve…lying in Ally's bed while she uh…played with you." A very becoming blush stole across her cheeks, and Ryan had a need to find out what was behind it.
Ryan's voice grew low and took on a very sexy timbre. "What did you imagine her doing to me, Babe? Be specific," she added, nudging her partner with her hip.
"Mmm…I don't think I can," Jamie said. "I don't really know what you two did together…and I don't really know how it would be to um…use things on each other…so I just had this mmm…I don't know," she said, sighing heavily.
"Embarrassed to tell me?" Ryan's expression was welcoming and open, and Jamie found her head nodding up and down.
"I know I shouldn't be embarrassed," she said, her cheeks still pink. "I mean, I share everything with you…"
"Hey, don't feel like that, Jamie." She wrapped her arms around her and gave her a comforting squeeze. "I was just trying to knock off a few minutes of foreplay," she teased, "but I'm confident you can rev me up pretty quickly." Jamie still looked uncomfortable, and Ryan sought to convince her that it wasn't necessary to reveal everything she felt. "It's perfectly normal to have some things you don't want to share. They're your fantasies," she reminded her.
"Thanks," Jamie said softly. "I'm a lot more comfortable showing you that I'm excited than I am telling you how I got there." She let out a small, wry chuckle, and Ryan nodded her head in understanding.
"Makes sense," the dark woman said. "I'm that way sometimes, too."
"I can share one thing with you," Jamie said, her eyes beginning to sparkle again. "I got excited thinking about Ally being kinda dominant with you." She looked up at her partner with an embarrassed giggle. "You're normally pretty clear about what you need and what you want when we're together. I guess it was kinda hot to think about you being more…compliant."
"I'm not compliant with you?" Ryan asked softly as her fingers slipped under her partner's T-shirt and started playing with the soft skin they found there.
"Well…in a way you are…but in another way you're pretty forceful. It makes me hot to think of you being completely at someone's disposal…letting them totally control what happens." She cocked her head and asked, "Will you tell me what it was like between you two? How you touched each other? How she pleased you?"
It certainly didn't take Ryan long to form her answer to the question. "No." She gave Jamie a warm smile, but her head was shaking decisively, emphasizing her refusal. "I don't think that's a good idea, Love. I show you things we did together…all the time," she laughed gently, "but the details of what we did together is between Ally and me."
"Embarrassed?" Jamie asked softly, returning Ryan's question.
"A little, yeah," she admitted. "But I want us to have a future relationship with Ally, and I don't want the things I tell you to get in the way." She hitched herself up against her propped up hand and said, "I used to go out with a certain woman fairly often, and one of her exes was a mutual friend of ours. The woman I was dating told me that her ex could only get off if she was lying on her stomach with her hands between her legs, masturbating. The woman I was going out with had to spank her-hard--at the same time." Ryan pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes slightly as she said, "I thought about that every time I saw this other woman. I wondered what had happened to her to narrow her sexual expression down to such a constricted form, and I wondered about the woman I was seeing, too. I knew she didn't like to spank this other woman, but she did it anyway, for a couple of years. It made me wonder if she was doing things for me that she didn't like either. Do you know what I mean?"
"I do," Jamie nodded. "Sorry I asked, Ryan. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"You didn't, Jamie. I just want you to understand why I don't want to talk about details. It's not quite like attorney/client privilege, but it's close," she chuckled. "You should be able to freely express yourself with a lover without worrying that the things you share will be revealed to others. It's kind of a sacred bond to be intimate with someone." She traced the gentle contours of her partner's face as she reflected, "Ally and I didn't just have sex, Jamie. You were right about that. We were intimate with each other…very intimate at times, and I treasure those moments. She trusted me, just like I believe you trust me. I would never, ever, tell anyone the details of what we share, and I'm sure you feel the same way."
"I do," she agreed. "I guess what I was asking wasn't for details as much as for you to tell me if there are things you want that I'm not doing for you." She had her hand on Ryan's side, and she started to run her fingers up and down the smooth, well-defined muscles of her torso. "I want to please you in every way you've ever dreamed of, Ryan."
"You do, Jamie," she assured her, giving her a wide smile. "I'm always very, very satisfied, and I can't think of a think we're lacking. I never lie here and think 'if only she would…'."
"Sure?" the blonde asked one more time.
"Positive." Ryan wrapped her up in a hug, their faces just inches apart. "Absolutely positive. Now, all of this yakkin' has thoroughly cooled my engines. You've got your work cut out for you if you want to get busy." Her bouncing eyebrows indicated that her challenge was a playful one, but Jamie took up the gauntlet immediately.
Pushing Ryan onto her back, the smaller woman climbed aboard, always loving the feeling of lying completely atop her partner. A few playful kisses segued into many, each one growing a little hotter, a little wetter. In minutes Jamie was sucking gently on her lover's tongue, feeling her desire rise quickly as the agile visitor slid sensually into her mouth.
She needed more skin to work with, so Jamie rolled off and removed her shorts, then tugged the T-shirt over Ryan's head and eased the sports bra from her body. As she tried to toss it away, Ryan managed to hold onto it, and she methodically wrapped the fabric around her hands, gently binding them.
Jamie cocked her head slightly and locked eyes with her partner, seeing the shy, almost hesitant look in Ryan's dark blue orbs. It was clear that Ryan was making an offer, and she realized that the offer was to make herself vulnerable…compliant…obviously trying to satisfy Jamie's expressed fantasy. The smaller woman swallowed nervously, and then took a few deep breaths, reminding herself that this was just Ryan, and that she had nothing to worry about. They were just going to play a little, and if she didn't like it, she didn't have to continue.
Ryan blinked up at her and extended her hands in front of her body, asking, "Would you like to tie them?"
Shaking her head, Jamie looked at her speculatively and decided, "I don't think so…I think I'd rather see you struggle to control them yourself."
Oh Lord! A born top! Ryan cried to herself in dismay.
"I want you to keep your hands above your head, Ryan," Jamie instructed her. "You can hold onto the headboard, but I don't want you to touch me…or yourself."
"I won't," the dark woman quietly agreed.
"I think your eyes should be closed, too," Jamie decided, her brow slightly furrowed.
The blue orbs shuttered, Jamie looked around the room for something to tickle her partner with…just to test her resolve. On the top of one of her bookcases was a dried flower arrangement that her mother had sent to her when she was out of town on some holiday or other, and she noticed that a few of the dried grasses would serve well as feather substitutes. She got up and walked over to the case, standing on her tiptoes to retrieve it. Two suitable specimens were found, and she came back to bed, intent on taking her partner to the limits of her self-control.
Rather than get onto the bed, Jamie stood next to it so her lover couldn't tell how she was leaning, or where she would strike next. She began to stroke Ryan's lo
ng body with the stalks, delighting as she saw the flesh begin to pebble wherever they traveled. A soft pink lip was drawn into Ryan's mouth, and Jamie could see her bite down firmly to keep from crying out. Ryan was essentially very ticklish, but she could suppress her urge to giggle when it was absolutely necessary. It appeared that she was struggling with her ability today, and Jamie was glad to see that this would not be easy for her lover to bear. She had no interest in actually hurting her or causing her pain, but she wanted to push her a little bit-just to watch her squirm.
The dark beauty was already squirming a little, and Jamie smiled at her as she directed her, "Put your feet together, and lift your legs straight up in the air."
Dark eyebrows lifted, but the eyes stayed closed as Ryan immediately complied. Jamie knew the position would be hard to maintain, but she wanted to tickle the backs of Ryan's thighs, easily her most sensitive spot. Ryan knew just what her intent was, and she renewed her grip on that lower lip, knowing she was going to need it.
The long, muscular legs rose straight up into the air, the muscles already twitching even though Jamie hadn't touched her yet. Moving to the foot of the bed, the smaller woman could already detect the first faint signs of her partner's arousal, and she smiled in satisfaction. The stalks of grass swiped across Ryan's buttocks, causing her to jerk sharply and let out a strangled whimper. Quickly moving from the tip of her toes, to the backs of her knees, the arch of her foot, back to her buttocks, Jamie never let her prepare for the next touch. It was always a second faster or slower, and always fell onto a part of her body that she hadn't anticipated. By the time Jamie urged her to lower her feet, Ryan was shaking like a wet dog, her hands grasping the underside of the headboard so fiercely that Jamie could see the tendons in her arms in raised relief.
She allowed her small hands to roam all over Ryan's body-soothing and reassuring her that she would receive substantial pleasure in return for her compliance.
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