Outside to the flitter, up and southeastward into the night sky. Settling back in my seat, I thought about the day. Had I at any time not seemed sincere, damn it? Yeah, I was pissed. Real pissed. I couldn’t believe she’d somehow come to the conclusion it was all a con. It was easier to believe I was the one who’d been conned. Maybe she’d pretended the whole thing; from tailing and meeting me to going all glassy-eyed on the end of my dick. Job done and she got a few good lays in the process. Great actress. Oscar grade.
With a glance at Tanya in her seat, I had Tea morph into standard configuration. Ignoring Tanya’s startled reaction to being hoisted upward as the flitter changed around her, I got up and went to stand at the end of the rear deck.
I don’t like being pissed off. Aggravated or irritated can be caused by outside influences, like a flat tire or a tree limb falling on the house. They’re unintentional happenings, so they aren’t worth much emotion. But being truly pissed off usually means something I really care about is fucked up, and such things are almost always my own damned fault in some manner.
This felt like one of those things, either in that I’d somehow screwed things up or I was thinking in a manner guaranteed to make them worse. Or both, I suppose. I reached for my coffee mug and it wasn’t on my pocket. Damn. Turning around, I started back to my seat and saw Tanya standing by hers. I stopped and eyed her.
She looked upset. Extremely upset. Wringing her hands and on the verge of tears. More exemplary acting? Scratch that, it’s assuming something. Never assume. Only idiots assume. Gawd, she looked delicious and I could smell her from here. I felt like slapping myself to clear my head. Damn it, I couldn’t even think while I was looking at her. Was I that far gone? Had I followed my stupid damned dick and tongue right up to a goddamned chopping block?
Chapter Twenty-one
I needed to hear something that would decide the matter right then and there. Something that would… that would… do the same for her. Tanya looked as if she’d burst into tears if I said ‘boo’. Real? If so, why? If not, why? I’d told myself not to assume, then I’d done it anyway. Duh. Turn off the heart, turn on the head, don’t continue being stupid.
With that thought, my pulse began to slow. I hadn’t even realized how fast it had been, nor how strong. Looking at anything but Tanya to keep from spiking again, I located my mug and sipped some coffee. Better. Familiar motions. Tastes. Something else to think about for a second.
I cleared my throat, tried to speak, and failed the first attempt. A sip of coffee helped and I said, “If this was all just a fancy con to get me to help you with Marie, you fucking well accomplished that mission, ma’am. Just send me a grand when you have it and keep the goddamned board. You won’t have to see me again. Tea, slow down and let me know when I can get off, then take her home, please.”
With that, I called up my board, but as I stepped onto it, Tanya lunged forward, grabbed my arm, and almost yelled, “No! Wait!”
I said, “You can’t un-think the thoughts that made you ask if it was real. Same here. Did you use me? Was it all just an act? How the hell would I know? Don’t forget, I knew your mom at her best. Maybe you just came by it naturally, same as she did.”
The shock and outrage in her eyes looked real. So did the blindingly fast slap that Tea stopped an inch from my face. Tanya seemed to realize another dose of shock as she stared at her hand, then she galvanized.
She grabbed my arm in both hands and pulled hard as she yelled, “No! Goddammit, I almost hit you! Get off that board! You can’t leave like this!”
And by that time, Tea was cushioning our fall. I landed gently on my back with Tanya suspended in stasis above me.
Scooting out from under her, I said, “Tea, thank you, but let her go, please. I think we have to have this out.”
Tea said, “Yes, Ed,” then said, “Miss Connor, violence is not allowed aboard flitters.”
She turned Tanya in the air to stand her on her feet before releasing her. Tanya tottered briefly, then yelped, “What the hell just happened to me?!”
“Galatea used a stasis field to immobilize you. Amaran protocols don’t permit violence in the presence of an AI.”
Tanya looked at the console and took a moment to process that, then asked me, “You thought I used you?!”
I gave her an arms-wide ‘have yourself a fucking epiphany’ look and said, “Hey, check it out, ma’am! Marie’s as fixed as anyone can make her and all of a sudden you tell me over dinner that our honeymoon’s over?! What the hell else was I supposed to think? If I was into cliches, I’d have used the one that says there’s no fool like an old fool. I was tempted to let you walk home from Denver!”
Tea said, “Ed, it is now safe for you to disembark,” and Tanya snapped, “We aren’t through yet!” Closing her eyes and seemingly counting to ten, she said to the console, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
With a sigh, she added, “And now I’m apologizing to a damned machine! And you think you’re the fool? The way you slapped one layer on top of another like you were laying bricks in a wall or something… What was I supposed to think?! What?!”
As sardonically as possible, I replied, “Oh, gee, I dunno! Maybe that you’d been part of something important?! You weren’t just a coincidental fuck, you know. I was thinking about how good you’d look standing on a castle wall. How you’d smile and go apeshit shopping and make happy noises at the antique scenery. You know all those little picture postcard villages you see in… well, in picture postcards? And in magazines? On travel shows? Well, guess what? They’re real! All we had to do was go, y’know? Just pack a damned bag and go! Who gives a rat’s ass what else I might have to do?”
“What do you mean, ‘what else you might have to do’?”
“If I’d run off with you, I’d still have been on tap for Angie. And Linda. And me. Sometimes the past comes back, like Mike’s crash and this Brian White guy. We have to know.”
“We meaning ‘you and Linda’, right?”
“And Marie. And even Will and Connie. If it wasn’t an accident, it was murder, and Mike was one of us back when we were an ‘us’.”
Putting a hand on the back of a seat, Tanya looked weary as she lowered herself into it and said, “Apparently you’re still an ‘us’. Make your damned board go away. I think I made a big mistake this evening.”
Maybe I looked at my board for a moment too long. She said insistently, “Please put your board away, Ed. We need to talk some things through.”
I made the board vanish and considered whether to sit down, then took a seat anyway.
Tanya said, “You’ve had your say and now it’s my turn. I’m sorry about that ‘return to the thrilling days of yesteryear’ crack. Maybe I watched too much ‘Lone Ranger’ as a kid, I don’t know. It just suddenly seemed to me that I was just a piece of your puzzle that happened to be fuckable. I remembered what you said about Linda’s daughter… I mean niece… and how you’d never do her. But you’d do me? The daughter of someone else you’d worked with back then? What did that say about my mom and me? That we weren’t as important to you as Linda?”
She grabbed her juice pack and sucked it dry, then wadded it up and looked for a place to put it. I silently pointed over the side. Tanya raised her left hand to shield her eyes and threw the pack-wad. It flashed to plasma with a soft ‘paff!‘ and she lowered her hand.
“So tell me, Ed, was that it? You could fuck me because I wasn’t as important to you?”
Elbows on knees, I sighed and tried to think of how to explain that. “If Linda’s niece pounced on me, I’d pry her loose and send her on her way because Linda is way more important to me than her niece’s libido. Which I’ve never actually seen, but it seems likely she has one, since everybody else does.”
Sipping coffee, I said, “But with you, it’s exactly the reverse. Marie already hates me. Linda’s been in my life for the last decade and I love her after a fashion. Not romantically; her boyfriend has that covered. But I�
�ve been completely out of Marie’s life for the last nearly-forty years. I don’t have to give a damn about pissing her off and your libido has been a magnificent work of art, as is the rest of you.”
With a sour chuckle, I said, “Imagine what it would be like to be kicked out of heaven for no apparent reason. That’s what it was like at dinner. I wanted to grab you and scream ‘what the hell did I do?‘ and force an answer out of you.”
With a chuckle of her own that sounded almost like a sob, Tanya stared at her hands and said, “Funny, I felt the same way. Heaven suddenly looked like a porn set and I was just a bit player who got screwed all through the movie.” Looking up, she said, “I wanted to scream, too. ‘What the hell’s wrong with you? How could you do this to me?‘ I got pissed off and depressed at the same time.”
After a moment, I said, “Sounds like we both got wrong ideas about things. I guess the question now is whether we still have those wrong ideas. We can’t unthink them, but can we get past them? Put things back like they were and keep them there until they really are like they were?”
There was a pause before Tanya said, “I… I don’t know. Can you do that? I mean you, personally?”
“Yes. We just had a misunderstanding, Tanya. A real one, not some social euphemism for hard-headed intractability. On one level, what we had was about fixing Marie. On another, we had each other. If that desire is still in you, let’s just go with it. Let’s try to get all we can while we can. When I stop being cute enough or you meet a guy who really winds you up, we’ll take our winnings and leave the table.”
“You’re assuming I’ll be the one to meet someone else.”
“Sure am. No, wait. I’m ‘presuming’, not ‘assuming’.”
She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Why?”
I shrugged. “Everything about you was perfect. I’m not kidding in the least. Everything. Even your personality and character matched up. I was happy to be with you, even when I thought you might say or do something to spill the beans. I’d have found another way. No sweat.”
Pausing to sip, I said, “I don’t feel that way about many people. Only about three, in fact.”
“Three? Who?”
“Linda, Angie, and you. And because Angie might have to follow orders when that would be very inconvenient, she’s a sort of provisional member.”
Tanya just looked at me for a moment, then smiled slightly and said, “You better hope she doesn’t hear that.”
“She knows. Sometimes I’ve had to leave her out of a piece of an info loop to avoid putting her on the spot about something. If all worked out, fine; her troubleshooter came through and beers all around. If not, she could truthfully say she didn’t know what I was doing until it was over.”
The bright splash of light that was Ocala came into view and I pointed over the side. Tanya marveled at the world below for some moments as we descended, then looked at me.
She said, “Maybe if we take it easy at first.”
“That’s not how you were doing things, ma’am.”
“Well, maybe it should be. Maybe I let myself go too far too fast with you.”
I looked at Ocala and said, “All you get when you cut yourself short is less than you need. It’s frustrating as hell.”
“Experience speaking again?”
“Hell, yes, it’s experience. When the track is wide open, you stomp the pedal and go. If you can’t or won’t open up, why be there at all?”
I turned to her and asked, “Have you ever had sex with someone who was timid and shy? Someone you had to try to encourage just to get the basics? Nothing fancy?”
She snickered, “What do you consider fancy?”
“You’ve had it a lot since yesterday. It seemed to work really well for you, too. Answer the question.”
Tanya sighed, “Yes. I have. It was like trying to talk a frightened puppy out from under the bed.”
Nodding, I agreed, “A good comparison.”
“So… it’s all or nothing?”
“For me, yes, so it’s your call. Remember when you said, ‘We’ve done what we can for my mom. This is all about us now‘? If that statement was true then, it’s still true. Continue as before or let the fears win.”
We landed in front of her apartment. My probes swept the place inside and out. No bugs.
Tanya picked up her pack and studied me for a moment, then asked, “Can I have a night to think about it?”
Uh, huh. Right. But I agreed, “Okay.”
She stepped forward and kissed me. It felt nothing like her other kisses, but I cooperated fully. When she stepped back, her eyes were brimming slightly. Or was it a trick of the light?
No matter. She stepped off the deck and went to her door. I waited until she was inside, then started to lift away. A six-inch red dot appeared on Tea’s hull field. It wiggled back and forth and up and down quickly. Tea tracked it to a car in the parking lot and a probe showed me Agent Elgin using a laser pointer.
As I flew past her, I pointed at her, then pointed ahead and followed the road south. At the next intersection I turned left and waited. Elgin followed and stopped her car behind Tea.
I stepped down and walked back to her car as she rolled down her window and said, “Get in.”
“Why?”
“We need to talk.”
“Not in your car.”
“It’s fifty degrees out there.”
Casting a small dome field around myself, I said, “Not in here. Feel free to join me.”
After a moment, she rolled up her window and got out, then stepped inside my field, which detected active electronics on her and drained their power cells immediately.
She said, “This is rather awkward.”
“I can make chairs, too. Or we could sit on the flitter.”
With a small smile, she echoed, “Not in your car.”
“Then this is it. What’s on your mind?”
“You’ve got a real mood going, haven’t you?” Waving a dismissing hand, she said, “Sorry. Forget I said that. I’m used to having to push to get what I want and everything I’ve seen says you aren’t pushable. Why were you in Aspen?”
“Tanya wanted to see the place.”
“So it was about… romance?” Glancing at her watch, she said, “Just after seven? Did things not work out well?”
I shrugged. “It was about romance. I’m not altogether sure how that will go at the moment. Why’d you stop me?”
The moonlight played over her face and hair as she seemed to decide what to say next. Not a vapidly pretty woman in the paint and powder sense. Very attractive without obvious cosmetics. Firm, pronounced features without exaggeration. Who did she kind of look like? An older, slightly better-filled Jennifer Garner? Sort of? In this light, anyway? She looked about forty. She also looked very competent and she had some guts or she wouldn’t be out here in the dark with me. I decided not to be a smartass with her.
Elgin said, “Just a minute,” and disengaged two listening devices from her jacket. She put them in the car and returned. This time my field didn’t detect any electronics on her, not even a cell phone.
“I think,” she said, “I just think, mind you, that you’ve already done what you can about Marie Connor. If you hadn’t, you’d probably be in that apartment right now.”
“Thoughts are still free. Assumptions can be expensive.”
Her left eyebrow arched slightly. “I like that. I think I’ll keep it, if you don’t mind.”
“Sure. Just take it off my taxes, ma’am.”
She laughed softly. ” I have trouble taking things off my own taxes. Sometimes I think they watch us closer than anyone else.”
“Prob’ly so. Why’d you stop me?”
“I wanted to see who and what I was dealing with. Just you and me, nose to nose. I’ve read your file. I wanted to see if you were for real.”
Damn, I was getting a lot of ‘are you for real‘ crap this evening. Maybe my annoyance showed more than I thought.
Elgin put up a hand and said, “That wasn’t meant to be any kind of challenge or cheap shot. I’m serious. Do you know any of the things people have reported about you?”
I shrugged and continued studying her face.
She said, “You’d be surprised, I think. I talked to Hayes. He told me about an incident at a Texas farm, but I didn’t completely believe it until I read the reports.”
“If they’re factual, they’re true. Why’d you stop me?”
Her eyes followed mine for a moment more, then she asked, “What are you looking for? A bug?”
“Nope. My flitter said you were clean.”
“What, then? It’s like you were memorizing my face.”
“I was. I like it. In fact, I think I’ve liked you ever since I first saw you, but you’re NIA, so I won’t tell you how much.”
She blinked. She stared. “You’re serious?”
“Oh, hell, yes. Have people ever said you look a bit like Jennifer Garner?”
Even in the moonlight I could see her blush slightly. Her fingers clenched lightly a few times, something some people do when they don’t know what else to do with their hands.
I said confidently, “Yup. I can see they have. And they’re right. And this isn’t some kind of pass at you, so let’s get back to why you stopped me.”
Her face lost its startled expression.
“As I said, I think you’ve already done what you can. I think that’s why you’re going home alone, too. Is there anything you’d like to tell me while you still can?”
“You mean you wouldn’t come see me in jail, ma’am?”
“I’m sure they’d keep me too busy. What about it? Anything you want to get out in the open?”
“Nope. You’re NIA. Even if I were hopelessly in love with you I wouldn’t tell you while you’re toting that badge.”
Elgin gave me a droll look and said, “Then I guess we’re done. For now. You have a good evening. Sir.”
3rd World Products, Book 16 Page 23