by Tiffani Lynn
He stops, tugging me to him, and leans down so that he’s only a whisper away. “Me too.” Then he closes the distance between us, pressing his lips to mine. I’m so giddy I could giggle. All of this kissing and hand-holding makes me want to call Simone and tell her all of this and mull it over like we do every time one of us starts seeing someone new. These are definitely moments you giggle with your girlfriends about. But for now, I’m not giggling; I’m too busy swooning. I open my mouth, allowing the kiss to deepen, twisting my tongue with his. One of his hands slides up into the back of my hair, gripping me as he plunders my mouth. Both sweet and strong. An amazing kiss. When he pulls back, his eyes are hazy and lust-filled like I assume mine are. Feels like I’m living a dream. For the next couple of hours, we walk along holding hands, occasionally splashing each other a little and talking about anything and everything. We even stop quite often to steal kisses from each other.
When we finally make it back to Will’s truck, it’s time for us to go back to his parents’ house for dinner. By then the streets are less crowded, probably because it’s Christmas Eve and people want to be at home with their families, not running around.
Walking into his parents’ house, I’m welcomed by the delicious scent of the prime rib cooking. If it tastes as good as it smells, I’m in for a treat.
“Mom, Dad, we’re back!” Devlin yells, announcing our arrival.
His dad comes around the corner with both hands covered by oven mitts and grins at us. “Come on in. Perfect timing. Red, can you get everyone a drink? Table is already set and the meat is coming out now. Mom is finishing up the potatoes and green beans.”
“Yes, sir. Luci, why don’t you take a seat at the dining room table. What would you like to drink? We have wine, sweet tea, milk and water.”
“Wine sounds nice.”
Once we are all seated around the little wooden table with the beautiful feast laid out before us, his dad raises his glass to toast. “To the best Christmas in a long time and to our new friend, Lucianna.” Our glasses clink together, signaling the beginning of our meal, and we fill our plates with food.
“So, Ms. Lucianna,” Will begins, “how did you end up in our neck of the woods?”
“I was traveling north when my car broke down. It’s at Earl’s Auto Shop being worked on, and because of a snowstorm in the midwest, the special part they need to fix my car is delayed. So I was sort of stranded here. But it’s been really nice. I love the town and the people too.”
“Where were you headed? It’s dangerous traveling alone.”
“New York was what I was thinking. Believe me, I’ve heard all about how unsafe it is from everyone I know, but I had to get away. I felt like the walls were closing in on me down there.”
“Dad,” Devlin says low as a warning, protecting me again.
Placing my hand on his arm, I stop him from saying anything else. “It’s okay, Devlin,” I assure him and turn my attention back to Will. “Last year in September I was shot in a hostage situation in Miami and almost died. I spent months being so sad and scared that I couldn’t leave my house. Then I got help with medication and counseling. Then I went numb. It was like I couldn’t feel anything anymore. Not fear, not happiness, not hurt, not love, absolutely nothing. My family and friends did everything they could to snap me out of it and nothing worked.
“When I finally said I was taking this trip alone, they all thought I’d lost it. I may have, but somewhere along the shore of your beautiful city, I think I’ve found it again. I doubt I will continue this trip once I get my car back. I’ll likely drive to Tampa and spend New Year’s with my best friend and her fiancé and then head back home to Miami.”
Claire speaks up. “I was once where you were when you started this trip. It feels good to come out from under that blanket of fear and sorrow, doesn’t it?” Her smile is gentle and knowing.
“Yeah, it really does.” I glance over at Devlin to find him staring at me like I’m the most interesting thing he’s ever seen. I squeeze his arm lightly before I let go and cut up some more of my meat.
Dinner passes in a haze of good conversation and great food, and I couldn’t be happier anywhere else in the world, I don’t think.
After dinner, Devlin takes me back out to the historic district where we ride the trolley on the last tour of lights for the night. It’s even more beautiful from this view, cuddled up next to Devlin with his arm around me. Along the way he shows me the college where his dad is head of maintenance and the little investment firm where his mom is a secretary. There are a lot of anecdotes of Devlin and his friends around town at the various places, causing different levels of young boy mischief.
At the end of the night, we return to his parents’ home and I notice my stuff has been moved from the living room. “You’ll be sleeping in my old room and I’ll grab the couch. Let me get a few things out of there before you go in for the night.”
About that time, his mother comes down the hall, face free of any makeup, in her nightgown and robe. “Oh good, you’re back! Luci, I put your stuff in Briana’s room. Dev can show you which room that is. Please make yourself at home. We’re so glad you’re here.” She leans in and kisses my cheek before hugging Devlin and wandering back down the hall.
Devlin is motionless and it’s kind of freaking me out. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“She has you sleeping in Bri’s room.”
“Okay?” I prompt him for further information.
“Mom’s the only one who’s been in that room since Bri died. I offered for you to sleep in my room and me on the couch because I knew it would be too hard to have you in Bri’s room.”
“I don’t have to sleep in there. I don’t mind taking the couch.” I feel horrible. I don’t want to make it uncomfortable for them, especially when I can easily crash on a couch without an issue.
“No, if she says that’s where she wants you, that’s where she wants you. I’m just shocked.”
“Are you sure it’s okay? Really, I don’t mind—”
He places his fingers over my lips to stop my protest. “This is a good thing; it’s great, actually. It really is, but it’s also a Christmas miracle so let’s not waste it.” He grabs my hand and leads me to the room and through the door. It is definitely a teenage girl’s room—a Jonas Brothers poster on one wall, a poster of Zac Efron on the other and various pictures of Briana with her family and a few friends pinned to the wall. A picture of their family sits in a silver frame on her dresser and a pair of shoes sits partially hidden by the desk on the other wall. In the center of the room sits a full-size bed with a fluffy green comforter and a stuffed penguin.
Devlin walks along the wall with all the pictures and touches each of them with a small smile on his face. “Damn, she had a snaggletoothed grin forever. She was so happy when she got braces, was looking forward to having pretty teeth. But I kind of liked her snaggletoothed grin.” Finally, he gets on the bed, lies back and motions for me to join him. “Come lie with me for a minute. I just want to remember for a few minutes.”
I happily oblige him, pleased that I can be here for him as he feels all the emotions that I can see are moving through him. I curl up to him, just like we were on the beach last night, and again there is nowhere else on earth I’d rather be.
He twists a lock of my hair around his finger as he begins to tell me some of his Briana stories, and I listen quietly, giggling at times and gasping at others. My heart grows light as he laughs along with me. I don’t know how much time passes, but at some point I drift off in his arms and he must too because I wake up at eight o’clock in the morning and neither of us has moved. There is a blanket covering us both, but we are lying on top of the green comforter, so one of his parents must have put it there.
I tap Devlin’s chest. “Dev, wake up. We fell asleep.” His eyes blink open and he looks around and down at me before he chuckles.
“Yeah, looks like we did. We should probably get up and go see what my folks are
up to.”
“Do you think your mom will be mad we slept in the same bed?” I ask, embarrassed that it happened, even though clearly nothing happened.
“We didn’t sleepwalk and get a blanket to cover up. I’m sure it was her who did it. If she was mad, she would’ve woken us up to tell us. Come on, let’s go.” I see his logic, so I wiggle off the bed and dig through my suitcase to find my toothbrush and toothpaste. Then I hit the bathroom before joining everyone else.
Devlin was right; his parents weren’t pissed. In fact, they were both in excellent moods, as was Devlin, and their good mood only helped mine along. We all had coffee before we moved to the living room for them to exchange presents. When I thought about it the night before on the ride home, I thought it might be awkward watching them exchange gifts, but it really wasn’t. It was relaxing and fun.
They are down to two presents under the tree when Will lifts them and reads the tags, and both are for me.
“You guys shouldn’t have,” I gasp. “I’m embarrassed I didn’t do anything for you.”
“You’ve done more than you know for us. The one from Will and me isn’t much, just a little something.”
I open that one first and find a pretty little pajama set in emerald green. “Thank you, I love it and it even looks like the right size. I’m so short and curvy that people have a hard time buying clothes for me.”
“You’re welcome. I hope you like them. I figured that people can always use a nice pair of pajamas.”
“That one’s from me,” Dev points out. “And for the record, I’m pissed that you didn’t get me one.”
My eyes widen and I stutter, “I…I…I…”
“Just kidding! I saw it and thought of you and knew I had to get it.”
“When did you do that?”
“Yesterday morning. I saw it while we were going through the shops, so I went back to pick it up the next day.”
Now I’m really curious. I unwrap the long skinny box and lift the top. Turquoise glass beads make up most of the bracelet, but in the middle is an artful rose-covered anchor painted on a flat stone. It’s so pretty, but I don’t understand why he thought of me. “It’s gorgeous, I love it, but what made you think of me when you saw it?”
“That anchor means hope. I hope you heal, I hope you’re happy and I hope you’re able to hope again.”
A few tears leak out of my eyes and slide down my face. “Thank you. This is the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received.” I turn my attention to his parents. “Thank you so much for having me. This is the best Christmas I’ve had in longer than I can remember.”
The rest of the day we spend watching Christmas movies and vegging out. Then we have a ham dinner and play cards late into the night. The drama with his extended family was never mentioned, but they all seemed relaxed and comfortable with how their holiday turned out.
Devlin
The morning after Christmas, I wake up on top of the covers in my room this time with Luci snuggled close to me. For the second night in a row, during our marathon talking session, we fell asleep together and my mom came and covered us up. I can’t complain, though, because these are the best two nights of sleep I’ve had in forever.
Tonight, I fly back to San Diego. I have to report for duty the day after tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I’d like to stay here with Luci longer, but I also know that would only make the inevitable separation worse than it’s already going to be. I can’t quite figure out how I’ve spent the last eleven years guarding myself from anyone and everyone, only to fall head over heels with a stranger who lives twenty-six hundred miles from me. It’s like I’ve lost my mind completely. If the guys on my team saw me these last few days, they would likely think I’ve been brainwashed.
For the next half an hour, I lie there savoring the feel of her in my arms, memorizing the softness of her hair as I sift my fingers through it. I figure these memories are going to have to last me a lifetime.
Around eight o’clock, Lucianna stirs. I can tell the minute consciousness returns because her body goes from completely lax to wound tight in an instant.
“Morning,” I greet her.
She lifts up to an elbow and looks down at me. “Your mom is going to think I’m such a slut. She gave me a room to sleep in separately and both nights I sleep with you under her roof.”
She’s mortified. It’s so damn cute I bust up laughing. “My mom’s the one who covered us up both nights. She knows we were both fully clothed and had the door open both times. She’s not going to think anything except that we probably slept well. If she had a problem, we would already know it. Now lie back down for a few minutes so I can enjoy what’s left of my last morning here. We can get coffee and breakfast soon.”
Settling back in, she wraps her arm around my stomach and squeezes. “Why am I so sad you’re leaving today? I didn’t even know you this time last week. Hell, I’m leaving tomorrow, I hope. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“I was lying here thinking the same thing and I’m feeling pretty shitty about it too.” I go back to running my fingers through her hair while her fingers draw little circles on my belly over my shirt. Finally, I have to stop her by placing a hand over top of hers. “It’s morning and I’m a man. Pretty soon I won’t be able to stop my reaction.”
Her giggles are muffled as she turns her head into my chest to laugh. “Okay, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about that. My mind was just drifting. Do you think we can stay friends when you leave?” Her whole body stills as she waits for my response, obviously afraid I’ll say no.
“Yeah. When I’m gone on a mission, I won’t have my phone, so I won’t be able to reply, but when I get home I can. Although you may change your mind once you leave. Out of sight, out of mind.”
“Not likely. How long are your missions? I know nothing about what you do except what I see in the movies.”
“Don’t believe everything you see. Missions can be anywhere from a couple of days to six months. We can also be deployed, but we aren’t due for a long deployment for another year, so I’m not concerned about that.”
“Are you scared when you go on these missions?”
“Sometimes, but mostly I’m focused. They put us through such rigorous training that it’s like a runner practicing for a race. Your body and mind just do what they’re trained to do. I won’t lie, sometimes things get hairy and all contingencies that we planned for are not all we encounter, but we are also trained to think outside the box, so it works in our favor most of the time.”
“Why did you want to be a SEAL? I’ve seen the documentaries and what you go through just to become one is crazy. But then what you do once you are one, is beyond my comprehension.”
“I could tell you a big fat lie about how I always dreamed of being a SEAL and serving my country with an elite group like that, but honestly I was punishing myself. I blamed myself for Briana’s death and thought I deserved to fight for my life every day. Now I do it because I’m good at it and I like it, but I can’t say that I don’t still have that little voice in the back of my head telling me I have to fight to deserve to live.”
“Why do you think it’s your fault Briana died? You didn’t hold her down, did you?”
“Fuck no! We were at the beach. My friends and I were throwing the football and talking to a group of girls. Bri kept bugging me to swim with her, but I was too busy trying to keep the attention of one of the girls. Bri got tired of waiting for me and went in the water. Normally it wouldn’t have been a big deal. She was a great swimmer, but the rip current was bad that day and none of us knew. By the time my buddy Alfie spotted her, she’d been pulled too far out. I went after her, we all did. But by the time I got to her she was gone.” One tear slides out of my eye and down my face into my hairline. “The worst part of it all is I don’t even remember the girl’s name or what she looked like. The one I ignored Bri for.”
“So how did you end up in the Navy? I figure you would avoid the ocean after that. Seems like
you would have chosen the Air Force or Army.”
“I went off the rails after Briana died. Partying, acting stupid, not caring about anything. When it was time to get my act together, I went to the recruiters’ office where all the branches are all lined up in a row in a hallway, and the only one that was in his office was the Navy recruiter. He talked me into taking the ASVAB and then signed me up to be a corpsman. When I was in boot camp, they asked who was interested in being a SEAL. Feeling reckless and bold, I raised my hand and then worked my ass off.”
This time when she speaks, her voice is quiet. “You know Bri’s death wasn’t your fault. She was old enough to know not to be out there alone. And with rip currents, you could have been there with her and it still could have happened. The ocean is a beautiful, wondrous thing but her power is immense and unpredictable at times. Your sister loved you. She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself and close off from everyone who loves you.”
“Easier said than done, but I’m starting to get that. I think somewhere down deep I always knew that forgiveness was waiting here, and that’s why I didn’t come home. I wasn’t ready to be forgiven.”
“Damn, that’s deep for first thing in the morning,” she adds, probably trying to break the heaviness hanging in the air.
Lightning quick, I flip her over to her back and begin tickling her. I’m sure the neighborhood can hear her squeals of laughter as she fights to push me away. Finally, I leap off the bed laughing. “Time to get up!”
Propping herself on her elbows, she shakes her hair away from her face and grins. “I need coffee.”
“Then meet me in the kitchen!” I laugh as I leave her lying there.
As I’m pouring her some coffee and freshening up my mom’s cup, her phone rings. It’s Earl telling her the parts are in and her car will be ready tomorrow morning.
“Lucianna, Will and I would like you to stay with us again tonight. I know Dev has to leave tonight but it will keep us from worrying if you just stay here.”