by Bruce, Leo
“I suppose the lady at the table where you sit didn’t recognize the man who came to her cabin?”
“No. She didn’t.”
“It was not, for instance, the man who she saw ‘behaving in a funny way’ when she had gone on deck the previous evening?”
“Not unless he’d grown a beard in the meantime. This one she said who looked horrible had a beard, like a lot of the stewards.”
Carolus thanked her for informing him so promptly and went in search of Mr Porteous. He found him being expansive at the bar.
“Have one?” he asked Carolus. “I know it’s a bit early …”
“Porteous, I’ve come to the conclusion that our attempts to hush things up are useless. Everyone on board knows about the incident, whatever it was, of the night before last and it will be only a question of time before they realize that I’m here to watch things for you. I think we should anticipate that and tell them what my job is. They may have useful information.”
“Aren’t you rather rushing things? We know now that no one is missing.”
“You do?”
“Yes. Passenger list complete.”
“Then how do you account for the clothes left by the ship’s rail, the stifled cry and the rest?”
“I’m afraid Leacock must have imagined the stifled cry. Unless, of course, someone was attempting to stow away and when he found he was discovered made an end of himself.”
“It sounds most improbable. You think it was a stowaway who …”
“It seems the only solution.”
Carolus looked rather serious.
“In that case I should like to examine the overcoat, jacket and shoes.”
“I’ll have them taken to your cabin at once, but I may tell you there’s nothing noticeable about them. Not even a name-tab and nothing in the pockets.”
“That in itself is noticeable. But what I want you to do is this. Tell the Captain, and anyone else you think should know, exactly what I’m doing here, and ask them to give me any assistance they can.”
“Yes. I agree to that,” said Mr Porteous as though he was making a large concession.
“And I want to have a talk with that deckhand, Leacock.”
“I don’t know what you’ll gain by it but I see no objection.”
“This morning?” stipulated Carolus.
“I daresay that can be arranged.”
Carolus nodded and after some time went to his cabin where he found, thrown carelessly across the bunk, a brown raincoat and a tweed jacket. A pair of black shoes were beside the bunk on the floor.
He set to work to make a close examination of these and found, as he rather anticipated, that a maker’s name had been removed from behind the collars of both the jacket and raincoat, denoting, he decided, that the jacket was a product of mass tailoring. He felt inside the wallet pocket but no tailor’s name had been removed from there.
Otherwise, nothing. Every pocket was empty and only a forensic examination by experts was likely to reveal anything more. The shoes gave him no more information than the clothes, though here, he knew, he was more at a loss. An examination not necessarily in the police laboratories would reveal a great deal about the man who had worn them, probably his habits, certainly his walk. But Carolus was no microscope or magnifying-glass man. He trusted little more than his instincts, his gift of logic and insight into motives. These pieces of possible evidence meant nothing to him. He decided that before he was likely to make any further progress, he must wait for the man Leacock. Of him he had great hopes.
Meanwhile he went out on deck and was in time to hear an announcement made over the loudspeaker system which was audible in every part of the ship. He had been dismayed, when he had first come on board, to hear the self-consciously refined voice of a female member of the staff giving instructions with exaggerated politeness.
“Will all cruisers please take their passports to the office in the central lobby?” she had said ingratiatingly. “Will Mr Rutherford kindly come to the Purser’s office immediately, please?” And so on.
Now it was a male voice, loud and commanding as befitted the Captain of the Summer Queen.
“This is your Captain speaking,” he announced. “I want first to wish you all a very happy cruise and to assure you that we on our side will do everything we can to make it a pleasant one.
“It appears that certain rumours have been circulating and those of you who have been on cruises before will know that this is unfortunately no rarity. Somehow things get about which have no foundation in fact, and we who are responsible for giving you a good time do what we can to prevent them. Let me say at once that the story of someone calling ‘Man Overboard’ in the small hours of yesterday morning was a very foolish practical joke on the part of one of the cruisers. Nothing of the sort had any basis in fact, and such tricks will not be repeated. Summertime Cruises take every precaution to prevent that sort of thing, so I hope that if any of you have felt the least alarm, you will now relax and enjoy yourselves. Thank you for listening and have a good time.”
There was, Carolus noticed, silence among the cruisers who had heard this announcement, and he wondered whether it was a reflection of scepticism. He would have liked to have heard what the lady at the table where we sit had to say about it.
Five
LEACOCK GAVE A DOUBLE bang on the cabin door.
“Captain says you want to speak to me,” he said.
He was a powerful man, but not heavy. His hands were enormous and his neck was like rope.
“Something about the night before last, wasn’t it?” he continued, as Carolus silently observed him.
“No,” said Carolus finally. “About last night.” Watching Leacock, he saw that he was more than surprised; almost, he thought, startled. But he might be gaining the wrong impression. “Were you on the Middle Watch again?”
“No, sir. On the First Night Watch. Off at twelve o’clock.”
“I see. Were there many passengers about when you went round the saloon?”
“It was empty. No one asleep there this time. I didn’t see a soul about.”
“None of the stewards?”
“No. If the passengers have all gone to bed they go off duty about eleven.”
“There wasn’t, for instance, a man half dressed in steward’s uniform?”
Leacock grinned.
“Now I see what you’re getting at. I heard about that lady saying someone had come to her cabin half in uniform.”
“How did you hear that?”
“Now, sir.” Leacock spoke as though to a child. “You should never ask anyone how he heard things on a ship like this. Everything goes round. Passengers, crew, no one can help hearing things. One of the stewards told me as a matter of fact about this old biddy imagining a man coming into her cabin. Wishful thinking, he said it was.”
“She said he had a beard.”
“Very likely. They all have them nowadays. The wife wants me to grow one ‘and look like an old-fashioned Player’s cigarette?’ I asked her. No, thank you.”
“And grey flannel trousers under his white jacket.”
“If you’d been among these cruisers, as they call them, as long as I have, you wouldn’t be surprised if she’d seen purple tights, sir. She might have imagined anything.”
“She might. But she didn’t. She saw very clearly a man in a white jacket and grey flannel trousers coming into her cabin in which he expected to find someone else.”
Leacock laughed aloud, “Well, I don’t suppose he expected to find her, if what the steward says she’s like is true.”
“The cabin had been allotted to a Mr and Mrs Darwin. It was a double cabin—number forty-six. Mr Darwin could not leave his business in time and is joining the ship in Lisbon. So the occupants of the cabin were changed. This might account for the intruder’s surprise on finding Mrs Grahame-Willows there.”
“Of course I know nothing about that,” said Leacock, “I don’t have anything to do with the ca
bins. My job’s on deck. What I thought you wanted to see me about, when the Captain told me that you were a sort of detective, was this business the night before last.”
“I was more interested in the intruder, to tell you the truth.”
Leacock laughed again.
“We get those every trip,” he said. “Whenever there’s women travelling alone.”
“So you’ve said.”
“Now that fellow the night before last was something unusual. Asleep in the saloon when everyone else had gone to bed. What do you make of that?”
“I don’t,” said Carolus.
“I mean, it gave me quite a start. I’ve known drunks lying about the ship, but this fellow wasn’t drunk. Not by any means.”
“How do you know?”
“I could see him, couldn’t I?”
“Could you? W hat did he look like?”
It seemed that Leacock did not much care for the question.
“Sort of … ordinary,” he said. “Like you might see every day.”
“I thought you said he was unusual?”
“I said finding him there was unusual.”
“What height would you say he was?”
“About my height, I should say. Five foot eleven, that is.”
“No beard?”
“No. Nothing on his face at all. Clean shaven, like me.”
“That’s not so usual nowadays. How was he dressed?”
“Can’t say I noticed. Or if I did I don’t remember. There can’t have been anything very striking about him, can there?”
“Was he wearing a raincoat?”
“Now you come to mention it I think he was. The one that was found after he’d gone overboard.”
“Did he wear spectacles?”
Leacock looked narrowly—or was it suspiciously?—at Carolus.
“No,” he said loudly. “No, I’m sure he wasn’t. But he might have taken them off, mightn’t he? You never know. Remember, he’d just been woken up.”
“Yes. I do remember. You woke him, I believe?”
“Certainly I did. You can’t have passengers sleeping all over the ship, can you? He ought to have been in his cabin.”
“How do you know he had one? He wasn’t on the passenger list.”
“That’s something I know nothing about. You could ask the Purser about that. As far as I know he was a passenger like any other.”
“Except that from what you tell us he was on the point of committing suicide?”
“I wasn’t to know that, was I? He didn’t look like a man having his last minutes on earth.”
“How did he look, Leacock?”
“I’ve told you, just ordinary.”
“He didn’t seem nervous?”
“Not at all. A bit sleepy if anything.”
“Yet a minute or two later when you’d gone round to the other side of the saloon, he had taken his overcoat and jacket off, undone his shoes and gone over the side?”
“That’s what it looked like. That’s why I shouted ‘Man Overboard!’”
“Do you still think that’s what happened?”
“As we used to say in the Service, sir, I’m not paid to think. That’s what it looked like, anyway.”
“You’re quite certain that you’d never seen the man before?”
“How can anyone be certain of a thing like that? For all I know we might have travelled in the same railway carriage, or something of the sort. But I don’t remember it.”
“You would know him again?”
“Well, not if he’s gone over the side, as it seems he has. I shouldn’t know him then. Have you ever seen a stiff that’s been three or four days in the sea? It’s not a pleasant sight I can tell you. They seem to go for their eyes first.”
“There’s no evidence except your own that there was such a man. He’s not shown on the passenger list.”
Leacock looked hostile and defiant.
“I saw him, all right,” he said.
“But you didn’t see him go over the side?”
“Not see him in the act, I didn’t. But when a man’s there one minute and the next he’s gone and his coat and shoes are all that’s left of him, you can pretty well tell what’s happened, can’t you?”
“No,” said Carolus.
“Well, all I can say is, if you’ll excuse me, you can’t be much of a detective. I should have thought it was obvious.”
“It was. Too obvious. At least that could be the explanation. It could have been what you were meant to think.” Carolus paused. “Or it could not, of course. Another thing, Leacock. Do you remember Mrs Travers?”
“Mrs Travers? You mean Mrs Darwin, surely?”
“No. I meant Mrs Travers. Do you remember her on the ship about a year ago?”
Leacock grinned.
“I should think I do. Quite a bit of talk it caused.”
“What caused?”
“We get used to that sort of thing. Nothing out of the way on these cruises. But there it was—her old man out of the way and her running round with this Darwin fellow. No wonder they had to get married. If you’d been on board at the time you’d have seen it coming.”
“Indeed.”
“You say he’s joining us at Lisbon. That’ll be a funny turnout.”
“You think so?”
“No worse than any of the others. Look at that Lady Spittals. Call her a lady?”
“Don’t you?”
“Well, it depends what you mean by a lady. If it’s being a lady to meet the Second Engineer every night when her old man’s gone to bed, I suppose she is one. But it’s not what I’ve been brought up to think a lady is. Then there’s that blonde. You must have seen her. One of the last to come on board.”
It was evident that Leacock had found a topic after his own heart.
“What about her?” asked Carolus innocently.
“What about her? Well the Mate’s had it off with her already and the Chief Steward’s got his eye on her, too. I mean to say. I’m not saying she’s not all right. I daresay she is for anyone who likes that type. Only you can tell what she comes on a cruise for, can’t you?”
Leacock laughed boisterously.
“Isn’t she with a young man? A passenger?”
“That’s what he was hoping. Not a chance when this lot they call officers got their eyes on her. And have you seen that thin piece of goods? Rabbit-mouthed sort. I saw you talking to her the first day out. Fancy her, do you?”
Carolus did not answer. Anything he could say would sound unbearably priggish.
“I thought you did,” said Leacock. “Noticed right away. We shall be in to Lisbon the day after tomorrow so you’ll be able to take her ashore.”
“When do we get in?”
“Tomorrow night. Into the Tagus, that is. We come in and lie outside the port till daylight.”
“How do you know all this?”
“Regular every trip. So many hours out from Southampton. Up the Tagus overnight, then in to the docks for you lot to go ashore. Though what you find to do all day I can’t imagine. I always wait till we get to Tunis where you can enjoy yourself. But that’s how it is every trip. Never varies. Anyway, I wish you luck with that tall thin one. Not my type, but I daresay it suits you. Now if you was to say the blonde it would be different.”
“Thank you, Leacock. I think you’ve given me all the information I wanted.”
“Glad to oblige. I don’t know what you’re trying to find out but anyway … Cheerio, then. See you on deck some time.”
Leacock lumbered out and Carolus decided to get some fresh air.
He was amused to see Mr Gorringer being an Edwardian escort to Mrs Darwin. They were pacing the deck side by side and in seemingly deep conversation.
“Do you know Mrs Darwin?” the headmaster called to Carolus. “My former history master, Carolus Deene,” he explained.
“We have met,” said Mrs Darwin, without any great warmth.
“Mrs Darwin had been telling me
that she will be joined by her husband in the port of Lisbon,” went on Mr Gorringer. “He is flying out from England while we plough our way through the sea. What an age we live in!”
“Guy likes flying,” Mrs Darwin explained. “He was in the Royal Air Force during the war.”
“Indeed? A splendid service. My own unhappy lot was to be prevented by duty from taking part in actual combat. I was however one of that often derided faction, the Home Guard. Memorable days for me! Your husband will complete the cruise with us, I trust?”
“I expect so. But you never know with Guy. He goes flying off when you least expect it.”
“Ah, yes. These business tycoons. I know something of their ways. Here today, on an aeroplane bound for New York tomorrow. But I assure you, dear Mrs Darwin, that whatever your husband’s movements you will not be left unescorted on this ship. I shall consider it my pleasurable duty to look after you. Ah, I see Lady Spittals approaching with her usual smile. She is indeed the very life and soul of the ship, is she not?”
“Hullo!” called Lady Spittals. “Win anything in the sweepstake on the ship’s run this morning?”
“I fear not.” said Mr Gorringer. “Did Fortune treat you any better?”
“Yes. I won a fiver. Not bad, was it? Of course Lazybones wouldn’t bother to buy a ticket. That’s Sir Charles. Couldn’t leave his book, I suppose.”
“Yes. I’ve noticed that Sir Charles Spittals is a great reader.”
“Great reader! He can’t hardly take his eyes off the page. I tell him, aren’t you coming down to see the film? I say. But he won’t budge. As for dancing …”
“There you touch on a tender spot, Lady Spittals. I myself am a notable failure in that respect. I am willing enough, even anxious to assist, but fear that my clumsiness would cause embarrassment to a partner.”
“It’s a good thing you know it, that’s all,” said Lady Spittals. “Half of them don’t. Have you put your name down for the deck tennis, though?”
“Oh yes, indeed. I feel we should essay every sport even though we have no experience. I trust you have done the same, Deene?”
But Carolus seemed to be interested in something far out at sea, and did not answer.