by Jamie Berris
Sadie was on the porch, touching up her toenail polish as she waited for Dylan. She had already changed into her suit and packed a small cooler with drinks. Her dad had taken Nicholas fishing, and Jayna and Liz were hanging out with Travis and Cody next door.
Sadie was enjoying the peace, but couldn’t help glancing over to the porch every so often. It looked like they were playing cards. Whatever they were doing, they were crowded around the table, laughing and having a good time. A pang of jealousy ripped through Sadie, but she quickly shook it off. She could easily go over there and join them, but she convinced herself she would rather wait for Dylan.
Travis looked up two seconds too early and caught Sadie staring. Their eyes met for a minute, and Sadie quickly looked away. This was a little awkward, her sitting here alone while they all hung out, just feet away.
Thankfully, she heard the crunch of tires on gravel, telling her Dylan had arrived. She walked to the corner of the porch and saw Myla and Kyla running up ahead of Dylan. The girls embraced and started chatting instantly, until Dylan interrupted, “Ah, h-e-l-l-o, I’m here too.”
Sadie broke away from her girlfriends and gave Dylan a kiss. “This was a good surprise, thanks.”
“They cornered me. I really had no choice,” Dylan teased.
Kyla gave Dylan a playful swat on the arm. “Puh-lease, you thought you were hot shit with the two of us in your car.”
“What I was really thinking about was walking down the beach with all three of you in bikinis.”
Now Sadie was the one to swat Dylan, along with a glare. The four of them made their way toward the water in front of the cottage, Dylan calling a name out and haphazardly throwing a Frisbee.
Sadie noticed Dylan nod towards Travis and Cody and the two of them give the same gesture back. She wondered what Travis and Cody said about the whole ordeal. She told herself not to think about it.
A half hour later, Travis, Cody, Jayna, and Liz all came down to the beach and plopped their towels amongst Sadie’s little group. Everyone was introduced, and in no time, they were all hanging like one big group. The tension between Dylan and Travis was slight, but nothing too intense.
Travis was acting rather cool about the ordeal, like he could care less, which Sadie admired. He was being mature about it. Dylan, well, he probably felt like he had the upper hand, so he was extra chummy. Things were going smoothly, so Sadie figured that was all that mattered.
Myla and Kyla were filling Sadie in on what had been happening at home. Lauren Holley had made a complete idiot out of herself. After staggering over to her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend, she made a huge scene when she begged him to take her back in front of over fifty people.
“It was frightening,” Myla explained. Can you believe that? I mean, really, I felt bad for her.”
Sadie was feeling better already, not that she thrived on other people’s misfortunes, but that she was hanging with her friends and having fun, not worrying about her own issues for a change. Dylan was even making an effort to chat with Travis and Cody. They were, of course, talking sports again, this time college football. Sadie felt content until Kyla sat up on her beach towel, shaded her eyes, and asked if that was Paige walking toward them.
Travis heard Kyla and jumped up from his towel to meet Paige. Sadie’s heart sank as she cranked her head around, and sure enough, Paige was strutting toward them. She felt her good mood dissipate in an instant and her stomach lurch. She was glad she had her sunglasses on; otherwise, she was sure the daggers shooting from her eyes would have pierced Paige’s skin. What she didn’t notice was that Dylan, lying next to her, was watching her from the side and, despite her sunglasses, could see she was pissed with Paige’s presence.
“Are they some sort of item?” whispered Kyla.
“Paige is definitely workin’ it,” Sadie said in a catty tone that Dylan picked up on. Myla and Kyla both knew from Sadie’s texts that Marissa and Paige had paid a visit and that Sadie was none too happy about it.
They all watched as Paige and Travis said hi to each other. Whatever Travis said must have been hysterical because Paige burst into laughter, throwing her head back for emphasis. She flung her hair over her shoulder and adjusted the strap of her beach bag while looking straight up into his eyes.
“Really?” sneered Sadie.
Travis quickly took Paige’s bag and walked her towards the group. Sadie couldn’t help but think that Dylan didn’t perform such gestures as carrying Sadie’s bag or opening her car door as often as he did when they first started going out. It was all very nauseating!
“Hey, everybody,” Paige said in her chipper voice.
Everyone said “hey” or “hi” back to Paige, except Sadie. All she could manage was a muted grunt. Did Travis call her and invite her when Dylan showed up? Just to get back at her or throw it in her face? It had been just over an hour since Dylan arrived, just about the same amount of time it took to drive from home to Pentwater. Was Paige waiting by the phone for his call, or did they already have this planned? Either way, Paige’s presence did not settle well. Sadie knew she wasn’t being fair, but she couldn’t help it.
It was hard not to stare at Travis and Paige. Everyone was talking as a group and having a great time, but Sadie knew her attention was focused on the two of them, and Dylan noticed too. As they all headed for the water, Dylan grabbed Sadie and gave her a playful shove that almost sent her tumbling back in the waves. But at the last second, he grabbed her and she fell into his arms. He nuzzled her nose with his and kissed her.
They were crouched in the water up to their shoulders, and Dylan’s hands were moving up and down Sadie’s stomach. Sadie flinched, pushed Dylan’s hand, and pulled away, looking over his shoulder at Travis and Paige playfully splashing each other.
Dylan grabbed Sadie’s chin and turned her head towards him. “What’s your deal, Sadie? Why are you so pre-occupied with Travis and Paige? Ever since she got here, you’ve been acting pissy. Are you jealous?”
Sadie couldn’t swallow the lump in her throat; it was too big. “Jealous of what? I just . . . I guess I’m holding a bit of a grudge, you know. I don’t really want her or her mother around.” Sadie thought this would surely get her out of the corner; it was even partly true.
Dylan looked at Sadie with a steely stare, and she had to look away. He was definitely studying her and not buying it. “I think there’s more to it than that, Sadie.”
“Like what?” she asked, playing dumb.
“Like you’ve got a thing for him.”
“Please, I’ve known Travis all my life. He’s like a brother to me.”
“So you two have never messed around?”
Sadie thought back two summers ago to their tiny fling. It was so long ago, not to mention she was fourteen and clueless. It really hadn’t meant that much. When Dylan came along the following fall, Travis wasn’t even a thought, but she knew her answer would still piss Dylan off.
Sadie shrugged. “We kissed a few summers ago, but it was more experimental than anything, not a big deal.”
Dylan looked angry and it annoyed Sadie. He really had no right.
“Whatever,” he said.
Sadie knew this was where she should try and comfort Dylan by kissing him and reassuring him that she had absolutely no feelings for Travis, that Dylan was the only one she could ever love, but she couldn’t, and she wouldn’t.
“You’re not trying to line him up for when I take off to school?”
“Puh-lease Dylan, don’t be ridiculous.”
Sadie couldn’t have been more thankful when the group swarmed around them, interrupting what was definitely the start of a fight. Dylan broke free from Sadie and dove into a wave, swimming out towards the swim buoys. She let him go, acting as if nothing happened, and decided to enjoy some time with Myla and Kyla.
Dylan acted coldly toward Sadie the rest of the afternoon. He hid it well from everyone else, but it was obvious to Sadie that he felt threatened. He made no effort
to hold her hand, touch or kiss her, all the things he would normally be doing. Oddly, he was extra chummy with Travis and Cody. What? Was he going to hang out with them all day?
Myla sensed something was askew and whispered to Sadie. Sadie filled Myla in on Dylan’s accusations about Travis and how immature Dylan was being. “He needs to get over it. He’s being an ass!”
Myla continued to question Sadie, putting her on the spot. She was never one to let her get away with anything, at least not without a complete drilling.
Sadie confessed to Myla that she was bothered by Paige coming to visit Travis, but she sloughed it off as a territorial thing, that she was just being protective of Travis. He had been her friend since they were in diapers, and she was just looking out for him, plain and simple.
Chapter 29
Sadie
Pentwater was supposed to bring her peace, not angst. The trip that had started out so wonderfully had taken a serious nose dive, and Sadie was feeling helpless. Everything was out of her control!
She was nervous about losing Dylan. In their almost two-year relationship, which she realized was almost unheard of at her age, they rarely fought. Lately it seemed like they were always on edge, happy one minute and irritated with each other the next.
She stared at Dylan across the fire, yes, across, not next to her. He had been floating around all night, barely speaking to her, and as much as she wanted him here, just as much of her wanted him to leave. She was so indecisive!
He was standing there with the light from the flames flickering across his face and a chip on his shoulder, looking hot as ever because he was, but also looking ugly as could be because jealousy was ugly. But could Sadie blame him? Wouldn’t she be jealous? Was she jealous?
Was it obvious to everyone, well, except Paige, that she felt something for Travis? Oh shit, jealousy is ugly, guilty, and admitting feelings for Travis was someplace she’d rather not go. But the more she sat there and watched Paige and Travis flirt, the more she couldn’t stand it.
Who could blame Paige? Travis was the total package—good-looking, outgoing, easygoing, athletic, funny—the kind of guy that could be friends with anyone. He had that natural confidence without being cocky, something that, until recently, Sadie had always overlooked in Dylan.
Dylan, though, had been by Sadie’s side through her mom’s illness, death, and thereafter. Besides Myla and Kyla, he had been her social life for the first two years of high school. Two years, exactly how long Sadie still had left of high school, while Dylan was off at college, doing who knows what!
Sadie wished she could ask her mom’s advice on this one; she wondered if her mom had written her any letters about choosing boyfriends. She looked at Travis and Paige sitting next to each other, both digging their bare feet in the cool silky sand. She probably didn’t even have a choice when it came to Travis. From the looks of it, they had both made their choices. Sadie wondered if they had kissed yet.
“Earth to Sadie.” Kyla nudged Sadie with her elbow. “What’s the deal? Are you and Dylan totally at each other’s throats?”
Luckily, between the roar of the fire, the music, and everyone talking, no one heard Kyla. She wasn’t the subtlest person.
“I mean I’ve never seen you two like this,” she went on.
“It’s so complicated, Kyla.”
“Or rather, you are!” She grinned.
Sadie gave Kyla a friendly glare. “Okay, you know me well enough to get away with that, and I half agree with you, but that’s just the way I am. As hard as this is to say, I’m wondering if our relationship has run its course. At the same time, I can’t imagine losing him. Quite frankly, the whole college thing terrifies me. It always felt so distant, and now it’s almost here, and I’m freaking out.”
“Are you worried he’s gonna break up or cheat?”
“Kinda both.”
“That’s it?”
“It’s the long-distance thing in general and the fact that I’m only going to be a junior. For the first time, I suddenly feel so much younger than Dylan.”
“Hmm, that all?”
Sadie looked at Kyla. “What are you getting at?”
“Travis.”
All Sadie could do was shrug. She wasn’t about to lie to her best friend. What good would it do anyway?
A couple of hours later, Dylan announced to Myla and Kyla that he was ready to go. Sadie felt relieved. All she wanted to do was go for a walk on the beach in the dark, alone, just her and the Pentwater stars.
Their good-bye was awkward, a cold kiss that normally would have left her in tears, but she wasn’t feeling in the mood to be kissing Dylan or his ass, and she knew that was what he was expecting.
The second they pulled away, the text messages from Myla and Kyla came pouring in. Dylan was clearly pissed, driving like a maniac and cussing about Sadie, asking Myla and Kyla what was going on. How were they getting away with texting her while riding in his car? He must be livid if he wasn’t even noticing.
Sadie couldn’t help the surge of joy she felt. If they ever fought, it always seemed like it was Sadie worried about Dylan breaking up with her. She found it comical that her friends were watching, listening, and reporting firsthand to her how Dylan was reacting when the tables were turned.
While her phone was still in her hand, she decided to be daring and send Travis a Bitmoji. Why not? They were friends and friends texted each other. She decided to play it safe with YO DAWG above her cute smiling face.
Whenever she had a pause from a text message, Sadie enjoyed the stars overhead, especially her Big Dipper. It was a calm night, and the waves came to shore gently over her feet as she walked. She said a small prayer for everything to just work itself out—her mother’s advice was trust God to handle whatever is heavy on your heart—and felt a wave of peace wash over her, probably more from her surroundings than anything.
On her way back to the cottage, a text came through from Kyla that they had made it back to her house safely, despite Dylan’s reckless driving. She responded back, and when she looked up, she was temporarily blinded from the bright glow of her cell phone screen and didn’t see the two figures right before her. One more step and she would have run into them.
Sadie’s eyes registered a gut-wrenching sight. Standing before her were Travis and Paige, arm in arm, embraced in a kiss. Sadie felt as if she had just been punched in the stomach, and she wanted to puke.
Both Travis and Paige jumped. They clearly hadn’t heard Sadie walking up. Sadie didn’t stop. She kept walking and muttered an “Oops, sorry.” When she got far enough away, she couldn’t help it. The dam broke, and the tears came flooding over. She picked up her pace and started running along the beach, kicking up sand and water on the backside of her legs.
She ran past the cottage, past the public beach, and ran down the cement pier full throttle until she reached the lighthouse at the end. Her tears came even harder as she stood alone, gasping for breath and staring out at the black mass of water.
Sadie cried over Dylan and Travis, she cried over her mom, and she cried over the fact that her dad was dating Marissa and he didn’t care that it was killing her. She even cried over Jayna and Nicholas. She felt overwhelmed by the duty to care for them. Heck, she couldn’t even take care of herself. What was happening? Sixteen wasn’t sweet at all! It was sour and it sucked!
What if Travis showed Paige her Bitmoji and they were laughing at her? How hideous!
Fifteen minutes later, Jayna startled Sadie when she sat down next to her. “What’s up?” she asked.
Sadie sniffed and was glad it was dark. Maybe Jayna wouldn’t notice she had been crying. “How did you know I was here?”
“I was still sitting by the fire when you went streaking by. I wasn’t sure if you were on another health kick, out for a late night run, or if something was wrong, so I followed you.” Jayna giggled. “I wasn’t worried enough to sprint to catch up.”
Sadie couldn’t help but crack a smile. She probably
did look a little ridiculous running down the beach at midnight. “I thought I heard something in the dunes, and it freaked me out, so I took off running to the pier.”
“You’re a horrible liar, Sadie. You saw Travis and Paige walking on the beach, didn’t you? It’s obvious you like him, Sadie. Just admit it.”
“But I still love Dylan too. And they were doing more than just walking—I saw them kissing. I can’t believe he likes her. Why can’t she and her mother just get away from us?”
“I’m not trying to defend Paige, but she has every right to have her fling with Travis, and you do have a boyfriend. You can’t be mad at her. She has no idea.”
“I know. I need to get over him. I’m sure I will once we’re home. Myla and Kyla think I’m in panic mode since Dylan is leaving for college. I’m sure they’re right.”
“Let it be, Sadie. Dylan loves you. He texted me and told me to talk some sense into you.”
Sadie was half flattered, half annoyed. Dylan had texted Jayna, really? “Ugh, I can’t deal with it anymore.”
“Okay then,” said Jayna. “I’ve been thinking about snooping in Mom’s diaries to find out what really happened between her and Marissa. Before you go and give me a lecture, just hear me out. Mom poured her heart out in her diaries.”
“I’m not going to give you a lecture, Jayna. You make it sound like I’m always such a bitch.”
“Not always!” Jayna snickered.
“I’m going to feel guilty as heck reading Mom’s diaries, but I think this is a good reason to break the rules.”
“So are you done crying now? Can we go back?”
Chapter 30
Sadie
Sadie and Jayna were sitting on the bedroom floor, playing cards. Peanuts had been their favorite card game since they were little. Their mom had taught them how to play by the time they were five. Sometimes their games would last hours or would even continue on for days if they set the score high enough.