by Noni Calbane
“I’m going to eat fantastic pizza …,”
“I’m going to eat fantastic pizza,” she echoed.
“Then, I’m going to eat the best gelato in Florence.”
Gaby stopped short at that and bit back a laugh. After all the good natured joking with Carmina about Luca being ‘gelato’, the double entendre in his words made her giggle.
“What?” Luca asked bewilderedly. “You don’t like gelato?”
“Um … it’s not that.” Gaby could feel the laughter bubble up in her.
“But Gaby, the gelato I’m going to feed you is the most amazing you will ever have!”
Gaby looked away in amusement. “I don’t doubt it.”
Descending the stairs, they exited the Villa and Luca took her arm. Leading her down the driveway towards the front gate, Gaby turned to him, “No car?”
“No. I thought we’d walk this evening. How’s that for being normal?”
“Great idea,” she beamed at him.
*****
The pizzeria was a few blocks away from the Villa and after being seated at a cosy table for two, they ordered two Margerita pizzas. They were brought very quickly to their table and they both dug in.
“Of course, to have an authentic pizza, you have to have one in Napoli,” Luca explained. “They use all the same ingredients up here in the North, but there must be something in the water down in Napoli –it tastes so much better.”
“This tastes fine to me,” Gaby said chewing a mouthful. “But then, our pizzas are nothing like this in America.”
Luca said nothing and she couldn’t help but notice. The American thing was rearing its ugly head again. Gaby needed to be especially careful to not mention his mother specifically –she knew it was a sore point that could set him off. She was sure that if she could just get him talking about it, it would help ease the pain. “It bothers you, doesn’t it?”
He looked at her guardedly. He knew Carmina had filled her in on the family history and he felt at a complete disadvantage and vulnerable as hell. Did it bother him now that she was American? No. Not really. It disturbed him more that she’d be returning there all too soon for his liking.
“It bothers you. The fact I’m American,” she repeated again pointedly.
Playing with his napkin, he couldn’t meet her eyes. “It matters less to me than I thought it would,” he slowly explained. “I know that Carmina has told you something about why I feel this way.”
Gaby nodded. “Yes, she did.”
Luca looked up and held her gaze. “I’ve felt this way for so long, I’ve never really analyzed it or thought about it rationally. It’s not like I know a lot of Americans. Or, maybe my attitude stems from knowing the wrong ones, like David Whittaker.”
Gaby dropped her slice of Margerita down on her plate. “Oh please. And here I was enjoying my pizza.” She rolled her eyes then smiled at him. “The mere thought of that man causes me indigestion.”
“I’m glad.”
“What? You’re glad he gives me indigestion?” she laughed.
“No,” he said softly. “I’m glad that you aren’t his. I thought you were the first night I saw you.”
“Yes. I remember what you thought the first night you saw me,” she said caustically. “The less said about that night, the better.”
Taking her hand in his, he started to caress her fingers intimately.
“Gaby, I didn’t mean what I said that night. If I could take it back I would. I said those things because I … I wanted you ... badly.”
“You have a funny way of showing it. By insulting me,” she replied flippantly, trying to make light of the desperate need in his statement.
“I know I hurt your feelings. You see, I didn’t want to want you.”
“You didn’t want to … want me?” Gaby mentally smacked herself in the head in understanding. “Because you’re a noble Count and I’m a crass American?” she snapped.
He looked away uncomfortably.
“That’s it, isn’t it? It goes against your grain to want to be with someone like me. You must have been overjoyed that we came to this pizzeria tonight. No chance of your high and mighty friends seeing you here with me. How degrading for you if they found out you were spending time with someone so classless and lowly.”
He answered her solemnly. “You’re right, they would think such things. But if you remember, I wanted to take you somewhere lavish and expensive. The pizzeria was your idea.”
Gaby started to rise from her seat and he held her hand firmly, not allowing her to leave. “No!” he said sternly. “Sit. Please.” She grudgingly did as he requested.
Luca exhaled a long, exasperated breath and spoke softly. “You think I care that I’m a Count and you’re not some European debutante? I may know and socialize with a lot of upper-class people, but that doesn’t mean they’re my friends and I care what they think. Sometimes being a Count is more of a curse than a blessing. Most women look at me and see a title and a fortune. They set their cap for me without even knowing me or even liking me. Or caring if I like them.”
“You want me to feel sorry for you? Oh, you poor thing, women throw themselves at you,” Gaby interjected sarcastically. “I’m sure you’re hardly lonely Count Manetti.”
He let out a frustrated snort. “So we’re back to formality?” When she didn’t answer he continued, “You’re right of course. I’ve used my title to get what I’ve wanted all my life; women especially. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve never knowingly deceived any of them into thinking it was more than what it was. It was all very mutual and emotionless. I never really cared if they liked me or not.” He shrugged dejectedly. “That is …, until you.”
Gaby opened her mouth in doubt.
“Sure, I have an unreasonable dislike for Americans,” he continued emphatically, “But you could have been Martian for all I cared. The reason I didn’t want to want you was because … because deep down I knew from the minute … no … the second I saw you, that you … that you were the one woman who could hurt me like no other.”
Processing what he had just revealed, Gaby looked away from his forthright stare. She had wanted him to talk to her, really talk to her without all the hidden meanings and banter, and he’d more than met her expectations with his revelation.
Swallowing the hard lump in his throat, Luca hoped he hadn’t scared her by saying what he had. He hadn’t planned to let her know the extent of his need for her, but now he had, he felt almost relieved. Like a huge weight had been lifted from his heart. The ball was firmly in her court to volley back or let go out. Holding her small hand in his, he held her gaze and smiled, “So can we forgive and forget everything that’s happened until now and just be Luca and Gaby on a date, having a pizza?”
Gaby narrowed her eyes at him then smiled slightly. “I guess I can forgive you,” she relented. “And I guess I can forget you’re a Count for the evening.” She pointed at his shirtfront. “Especially with pizza sauce all down your shirt,” she finished brightly.
“What?” he exclaimed looking down. “Odio.” Grabbing his napkin, he started scrubbing at the spot.
“I like it,” she said with a smirk. “Makes you seem more like a regular man.”
Giving up and tossing the napkin on the table, he grinned back. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’m just a man, and you’re... well, you’re just a woman.”
“Just a woman?” she teased.
“Correction.” His smile widened and he covered her hand again with his own, “You’re quite a woman, Gabriella. Quite unlike anyone I’ve ever met ... or I think, shall ever meet.”
As they stared into each other’s eyes, Luca became suddenly uneasy with the intimacy of their conversation and extricated his hand from hers. He was getting in way too deep. Revealing his feelings was leaving him open wide to be hurt in a way that was completely foreign to him. He couldn’t take that chance. He had to pull back. He had to.
Gaby wasn’t quite sure wh
at to do or say. They were getting closer, but now he was swiftly retreating. Changing the subject she asked, “You’re English is amazing, where were you educated?” When he didn’t respond immediately, she rambled on, “I’m guessing the U.K., as you speak with a decidedly English accent.”
“You’re quite right. I was schooled in England. Eton to be exact,” he stated almost coolly.
“Good school,” she uttered softly. The easiness between them seemed to evaporate before her eyes and Gaby didn’t know how to stop it.
Shrugging slightly, she decided to focus on the other half of her pizza still to be eaten. Her appetite was somewhat gone, but without conversation, it appeared to be the only way to pass the awkwardness of the moment. Picking it up, she was well aware of Luca’s watchful eyes on her. He was making her incredibly nervous. She took a big bite of pizza.
“You have sauce on your chin.”
“Huh?” she exclaimed, shocked out of the silence.
“You have sauce …,” he said putting his finger to her face¸ “… right there.” Luca swiped her chin with his finger, taking the sauce away. Lifting his finger to his mouth, he sucked it clean.
“Thanks,” she said quietly.
“My pleasure,” he replied carefully.
*****
“Oh. My. God.”
“You want me to give you more?”
“Oh yeah.”
Gaby finished off the small cup of Gianduja gelato and looked over again at the refrigerated case for another flavour. “I think I’ll try the pistachio this time,” she said licking her lips. The hazelnut gelato was fantastic, but Luca had suggested having a small cup, so she could try more than one of the gelatos on display.
The tense atmosphere that surrounded them at the pizzeria had disappeared as quickly as it had occurred. Like a storm blowing through, once it was over, the jovial and affable mood returned.
Gaby couldn’t help but hear Carmina’s words in her head about enjoying herself while she was in Italy. But every which way she looked at it, the consequences of getting seriously involved with someone like Luca could only end in misery. Of course, he may not even be thinking in terms of serious involvement. The man was simply not built that way. She was crazy to even go there. But he had said she was the one woman who could hurt him. Was he finally being sincere?
She had been quite happy to think of him as a complete and utter jerk until Carmina told her about his history. Now that she had spent some time with him, she couldn’t help but see him differently. It was much easier and less emotionally vulnerable to not think of him as a human being with problems and pain –like everyone else.
Licking the pistachio gelato from her spoon, Gaby knew he was watching her intently. “Aren’t you having any?” she asked.
“No. It’s more fun just watching you enjoy it,” he grinned.
“I don’t see how you can resist it?”
“I’m having a hard time,” he countered sexily, looking her up and down with desire in his eyes.
Gaby looked away. “Why do you do that?” she frowned.
“What?” he smiled.
“Make everything into a sexual joke.” She turned her gaze on him once again.
Luca chuckled nervously. “I thought you enjoyed our, how would you say it, our word play.”
Gaby sighed and looked down at her rapidly melting ice-cream, “Frankly, I find it a little tiring after a while. I’d much prefer it if we could just talk honestly.”
“Honestly?” he asked, folding his arms.
“Yes,” she replied firmly.
“You really want me to be honest with you Gaby?” he demanded.
“Yes, … yes, I do.” she stuttered. Oh hell!
“Va bene. How’s this for honest for you?” he stated, leaning closer to her face. “I’m standing here watching you eat ice-cream and you know what I’m thinking?”
She shook her head.
“All I can think about is that I want you in my bed. That I’ve wanted you under me screaming my name since the moment I saw you. I want to get you alone so badly it hurts. So hurry up and finish your gelato, so we can make that happen. I won’t take no for an answer.”
Puckering her brow, Gaby replied huffily, “Oh, you won’t?”
Seeing her disdain, Luca took the ice cream cup from her hands, throwing it into a nearby trash can. Taking her hands in his, he pleaded, “I can’t take no for an answer. Please Gaby, spend the night with me.”
Gaby looked down at their joined hands. “And tomorrow?” she asked softly.
He bit his lip. “I can’t promise tomorrows. But neither can you. You’ll leave … eventually.”
“That’s very convenient for you, isn’t it?” she remarked angrily, arching her eyebrows at him.
Luca said nothing.
“What if I said I wasn’t leaving?”
His mouth dropped open and he pulled his hands from hers. “What?”
Gaby shook her head sadly. “That scares you to death, doesn’t it? You said from the moment you saw me, that I was the one woman who could hurt you like no other. But you know what I think?”
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” he replied acerbically.
“I think you want to get hurt. I think deep down it would cement every single opinion you have about Americans, women, and relationships. If I left, you could hate me and blame me all you want, without any guilt on your part. I’d be just another heartless American who left you.”
Luca’s eyes glazed over with ice. “Hmm. You and Carmina are quite the psychiatrists. You should set up shop somewhere,” he said with a small bitter laugh. “But if you don’t mind, you can keep your amateur analysis to yourself.”
“I guess honesty is highly overrated,” she quietly commented. “We should go.”
Without a word, they left the Gelateria.
Walking back to the Villa, Gaby glanced cautiously at Luca from time to time, to see if his mood was changing. She’d really done it this time. But it needed to be said. He may want to share his body with her, but he would never share himself in any other way. Even though she wanted him physically too, that would never be enough for her. Yes, he had opened up to her this evening and revealed himself in a way that he hadn’t before. But he would hurt her in the long run. He couldn’t promise her any sort of future; at least he’d been honest enough to admit that. He’d said she was the one woman who could hurt him; could she be the one woman who could change him? No. If any changes were to be had, they had to be initiated by him.
She would be returning home in no time at all. But could she really return home and not wonder what could have been?
Luca could feel her nervous glimpses at him, but kept his eyes firmly directed straight ahead. She’d hit him where it hurt most. His mother. He knew his mother coloured his view when it came to women, but no-one had ever pegged him as accurately as Gaby. He had wanted to lash out, but controlled himself. Instead he replied as calmly as possible and then remained silent.
She had wanted honesty. Well, he’d been honest. Did she really think that a relationship between them would last? Nothing lasted. Especially not love. Love? He meant lust, not love.
Odio. This feeling he had for Gaby was overwhelming and confusing. It went way beyond mere physical craving. It was an all-consuming need to be liked and wanted by her. But he knew, in the back of his mind, that even if she felt the same as he did, that it probably wouldn’t be enough. He was terrified of giving and receiving anything remotely resembling love. It was too painful when it was yanked from your grasp.
After arriving back at the Villa, the awkward task of saying goodnight loomed ahead. They both silently ascended the stairs.
Although the night had not been perfect, by any means, Gaby still hesitated in ending the evening. She still longed to be in his company. Reaching her bedroom, she opened the door and turned back to him, “Thanks for dinner.”
Luca let out a relieved breath. At least she was being civil with him. “Thank
s for coming,” he whispered.
Gaby touched his chest where he’d spilled sauce down his front. “You should put something on that before it leaves a mark.”
“I’ll do that.”
She smiled slightly and tried for levity. “You’ll do that, or will one of your minions?”
He noticed her attempt to lighten the mood and did the same. “You don’t think I can do laundry?”
She looked at him sceptically.
“You want to see me do it?” he grinned, unbuttoning the top of his shirt. “Because I can take this off and wash it right now in front of you.”
Gaby laughed. “No. No. I believe you.” He continued undoing his buttons. She placed her hand over his to still his motion. “Luca, stop!” she giggled.
All movement and mirth ceased at her touch and Luca stared into her eyes. Seizing her hand, he brought it to his lips, his eyes still boring into hers. His mouth brushed against her palm and she shuddered. “Goodnight Gaby,” he said quickly and let her go. He rapidly started off down the hallway towards his door.
Gaby watched him walk away from her with a heavy heart. It was for the best, wasn’t it? All of sudden something clicked inside her and she knew she couldn’t let him leave. Foolhardy or not, she wanted him, and the feeling wasn’t going away any time soon.
“Hey?” she called out, and he looked back at her. “Maybe I would like to see you … soak your shirt.”
“Si? Yes?” he said incredulously. Slowly he made his way back to her.
She nodded mutely.
“Tell me that you’re saying what I think you’re saying?” he asked huskily.
Gaby cleared her throat and smiled shyly, running her hand down his chest. “I certainly don’t want it … leaving … a mark.”
His hands cupped her face and he boldly looked into her eyes. “You’re the one who’s left a mark on me Gaby. From the second I saw you I was …was. I mean, when I look at you … I feel like … like I’m … falling.”
Leaning down, his lips almost on hers, she stopped him and whispered, “Trust me Luca. I’ll catch you … I swear.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN