Love's Hiding

by Karen Deen

  “Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Andrew was clearly looking agitated, picking up pieces of what we were saying. My shoulders sagged as I turned to face him. This wasn’t going to be easy.

  “They think your brother is a rapist. They’re trying to catch him now. Zoe is working undercover for them. They thought it was you, they planted her here to catch you.” My head fell because I didn’t want to see the hurt in his eyes. I knew it was focused at me as well as his brother.

  “You thought I could do that? You thought I was like that?” he asked, stumbling over his words.

  “Deep down, I knew it couldn’t be you, but I had to do what was needed. I’m so sorry, man. I know you’re angry.”

  “He’s my brother. It can’t be him. Surely, it’s not him. There must be a mistake. I know he acts strange and picks up a lot of women, but it can’t be him. Christ, six months ago I was convinced he was gay. All the women leave falling all over him.” I could see the moment Andrew’s mind started connecting the dots. “Holy shit, he’s drugging them, isn’t he? They’re all over him because they can’t stand up properly. What the fuck is going on?” His voice was rising and the disappointment at me was overtaken by anger toward his brother. A couple of policemen gathered near us seeing that things were escalating.

  The detective who’d held me back, listened to the voice in his earpiece.

  “Got it. On my way.”

  “What the hell is going on?” I yelled, following him out the door.

  “It’s over,” I heard him over his shoulder. “They’ve got him and she’s safe.” The two words that I needed to hear. Now, I just needed to see her with my own eyes. Running down the marina, I heard Andrew behind me. I couldn’t deal with him at the moment. Not until I saw Zoe was okay and not hurt. I arrived to see Peter face down on the pier being handcuffed and arrested. Zoe stepped off the boat with the help of the female officer. I didn’t wait. She was in my arms before her feet took another step.

  “It’s okay, Luke. I’m okay, he didn’t hurt me.” Zoe clung to me as hard as I clung to her.

  “Baby, let me look at you.” I pulled back so I could check her out. “You shouldn’t have left with him, what if he hurt you? I told you to stay with me.” Pulling her into me again, I needed to just hold her. “Never again. Never are you putting yourself in danger. I will never let you out of my sight again.”

  “They got him, Luke. All those women are now safe and have their control back. They get justice. It’s over now for them and for me. I can leave it all behind.” The tears fell like she was letting go of the last little piece of her that hurt. By being able to help others, she had helped herself to finally heal. Behind me, I could hear shouting.

  “You always were the golden boy, you got everything. You were always better than me. I took them from you. You thought you were the ladies’ man, but they wanted me. Me, the little brother who was useless. I showed you, didn’t I?” Peter yelled as they dragged him away. I needed to go to Andrew. He was in shock.

  “Are you really okay, baby?” Looking down at Zoe, she knew what I meant.

  “Go to him, he needs you now more than I do.”

  I slowly approached Andrew who was crouched on the pier, trying to get breath back into his lungs from the shock of what has just transpired.

  “Why, Luke? Why would he do that? Those women, he hurt them but only to hurt me. What kind of fucked-up brother do I have? How do I tell my parents?” I dragged Andrew to his feet and embraced him. A grown man sobbing in your arms was hard to take. To see someone so shattered, they fall apart and didn’t care who saw them, showed the devastation they were feeling. I felt her hand on my back as Zoe embraced us both.

  “Andrew, I’m sorry, but don’t blame yourself. Take it from someone who’s been here. You can’t blame yourself. This is all on Peter.” He turned in my arms and grabbed her.

  “Zoe, I am so sorry. So sorry for everything. Thank God he didn’t hurt you, too.” The compassion in her eyes as she rubbed his back and consoled him, told me she now saw him in a different light. This would take time for us all to get past, but I felt like they would both be okay. With my help and that of a professional, they will both get on with living life.

  34

  Zoe

  IT TOOK A FEW DAYS to get through the mess that was associated with the bar and Peter. There was giving statements and talking with Andrew. We spent time with him just trying to help work through in his head everything that had happened. I put him in touch with Dr. Fordosa and he had had a few skype sessions with her already. The more time I spent with him over the last few days had made me realize I’d judged him wrong. He was not like my Luke, but he was harmless. Just a guy, who in some ways hadn’t grown up. There was more to him than most people saw, and I hoped Dr. Fordosa could help him find his happy place where he could drop the macho persona and just feel like Andrew.

  I knew all about using different skins to hide your inner soul from a world you didn’t know how to fit into. Looking back, I saw how exhausting and awful it was. My life was exactly where I wanted it to be.

  Luke had said he had another surprise for me.

  Walking hand in hand along a beach Andrew had told him about, I felt relaxed, like I had when we first arrived. The water was crystal clear and lightly rolling up and down the shore. My body felt the warmth of the sun all over. Luke stopped and placed both his hands around my waist, pulling me into him. He had something on his mind he wanted to say.

  “Zoe, I know our relationship has been a little different to most. It’s been special in its own way. I have learned so much from loving you. Your strength and determination to make yourself and the world a better place are amazing. I know you want to do this all on your own, but I don’t think I can live without you. I want you to move in with me and let me help you renovate your house. Keep it as an investment and rent it out. It will always be yours and you will have done it all on your own. I know you aren’t ready, and I have tried to let you call the shots the whole way along. So, I’m telling you now. I want to marry you, Zoe. When you’re ready, I want you as my wife. I want a family with you, to live a long and happy life with you, filled with lots of hot sex, of course.” Even with tears in my eyes, I couldn’t help but giggle. “There’s no way I will stop wanting you even when I’m ninety years old.” His hand caressed my face. “Kitten, I love you with all that I am and when you are ready, you just let me know and I would love nothing more than for you to be my wife.” With that, he pulled out a ring from his pocket, taking my breath away. “This is a promise ring. One that you can wear on any finger until that time you put it on the one that tells me you’re ready. With this, I promise to always be beside you, to never hurt you, to always protect you but still let you grow, and most importantly, to love you with everything I have.” My heart was beating so hard for this amazing man in front of me. How did I even begin to tell him how he made me feel?

  “You’ve made me whole, Luke. I never knew what love was until I met you. You have been so patient and kind in not rushing me. You took the time to understand me and all my faults. With you I have found the true me. I want to be your wife and the fact that you even know that I needed time to process that makes me know you are the man for me. Once we have lived a normal relationship, then I will be wanting you down the aisle quicker than you can ask me. Moving in with you is a big step, but let’s face it, we are virtually living together already. Let’s sort out the house when we get home and tell everyone. After that, I will move everything in with you, I kinda love waking up in your arms, and your bed is so much comfier than mine.” That earned me a kiss on the forehead. “I love you and just know I can’t live without you. I’m yours forever.”

  “Damn straight you are.” Luke slid the ring on my right hand sealing it with a kiss. “When you are ready, baby, no pressure. I’m not going anywhere.”

  He kissed me like I was the oxygen he needed to breathe.

  I would never again be alone.r />
  My Luke would always be by my side.

  I was loved, and it was the best feeling in the world.

  I would continue to find strength and peace in my new beginning.

  Finally, I was whole.

  EPILOGUE

  Luke

  “Why am I the last to know, Luke?” Grant stood with his hands in his pockets, pinning me with his stare.

  “Because of you and your stupid ‘no work relationships’ rule. You had Zoe frightened she would be sacked. You are so damn intimidating at times.” I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. “Look, Grant, it wasn’t just you. It was complicated and something which Zoe lived through that she needed time to understand. We needed time to work on our relationship before she was able to share it with others. She’s a strong woman, but life has been hard. She does things the way she needs to. I had to respect that.”

  He walked toward me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Luke, I might be the CEO here, but you’re my brother, that will always come before the business. I just want you happy. Why do you think I do this, pushing the company so hard? It’s all for the family. I want you all to be happy, healthy and comfortable. If Zoe is the woman for you, then who gives a fuck about some policy we can rip up and change. I wished you had come to me before and saved Zoe the stress. We all love her like a sister, surely she knows that.” For the first time, I saw Grant drop the hard shell exterior.

  “I know, like I said, we did what we thought worked for us. Anyway, your life has been a bit crazy lately, too. You haven’t exactly been easy to talk to. Zara has you in knots. I’m not going to lie, it’s pretty funny seeing you this wrapped up over a woman.”

  “You find everything funny, Luke, that’s the problem.” With that, he jabbed me in the ribs like I had done so many times to him as a kid, trying to make him laugh at my jokes. I felt relieved that Grant has accepted Zoe and me. Not that anything would have changed if he didn’t. “Welcome to the ridiculous world of being in love, big brother.” For the first time in a very long time, Grant laughed a deep belly laugh.

  “Zara is killing me, man. As much as I want to walk away, I can’t. She’s it, she’s the one.”

  “Then, no matter what, do not let her go. Fight for her. When you find that person who you can’t live without, you just know it. They’ve found a way to your heart through all the outside barriers and life is never the same again.”

  “Isn’t that the truth. Let’s go and see this girlfriend of yours and sort her out.” Putting his arm around my shoulder, I felt the closest I’d ever been to Grant. Maybe Zoe wasn’t the only one getting a new beginning. Zoe being in my life had given me a reason to grow as a man. Maybe Grant and I could finally feel like we were on common ground, which was all I ever wanted.

  Twelve months later

  Zoe

  My head was spinning watching Luke hand me the scissors. Facing the front door to my house, a red ribbon hung across the threshold courtesy of Me-Me. You could never tell her you were having a little, quiet celebration because I was certain she didn’t know the meaning of it. I had to admit, it looked beautiful. My little dream house was finally finished.

  The whole family had contributed in some way to make it a home I could be proud of. Even Sammy and Sophia helped to plant the flowers in the garden. Baby Thomas made his mark by eating some dirt which was close enough to helping. I learned the true meaning of family and caring. Everyone wanted to pitch in to help, but I made sure they did it at my pace. It was important I paid for everything so I could look at my achievement and sit back knowing I had made it. I could tick this off my bucket list. I was so grateful for all their help, but most of all, grateful they accepted me for who I was. With all my hang ups and issues, they didn’t even notice. I was one of them and couldn’t be happier.

  “Can we help Aunty Zoe, please?” The beautiful eyes of our little Sophia looked up at me with her baby brother on her hip. Sammy was behind her jumping up and down clapping his hands, pleading.

  “Of course, sweetheart. I couldn’t have done it without your help. Maybe you need to give Thomas to Uncle Luke to hold while we hold the scissors together.” Luke scooped a giggling Thomas into his arms. If I ever doubted what Luke would look like as a father, the vision at that moment made my ovaries and uterus ache.

  “Ready?” I asked the kids whose hands were wrapped around mine. Looking over my shoulder, I saw the family who had become mine, smiling and waiting in anticipation. Love surrounded me.

  “Thank you,” was all I could say, trying to stop the tears.

  “Zoe’s House is officially open. A place for families who need to escape dangerous home lives. A place for them to find their feet. Here’s to the first of many of these homes.” Luke cheered as we cut the ribbon. This set off a cheer from all the family while Luke gently wiped away the happy tears trickling down my cheeks. Zach leaned in to grab Thomas so I could have Luke’s full attention. Pressing a kiss to my forehead, he looked me in the eye. “I am so proud of you. I hope you know how much. About as much as I love you and that’s too big to measure against. You’re making a difference in this world.”

  I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Luke,” I said, holding my hand in front of me. “I need your help. This,” I pointed to the ring, “seems to be on the wrong finger.” He fell immediately to one knee.

  “Let me help you. Zoe, I love you so much and want you in my life until the day I die. Marry me, be my wife, my partner in crime, my sidekick in comedy, but most of all, be my best friend, lover and soulmate.” Holding the ring on the end of my ring finger, he waited for my answer. I nodded and he slid my ring to the place it should have always been, and always would be.

  “Yes, yes, and yes.” I giggled, bursting happiness. “Only if you promise to be all of that for me, plus one more thing. I need you to promise to be the best dad to our baby.” Placing his hand that was still holding mine, on my stomach, I heard the gasps from behind us. Luke couldn’t contain his excitement.

  He wrapped me in his arms. “Really, we’re really having a baby? Oh, God, I’m going to be a dad. Did you hear that? We’re having a baby!” Luke started to scream while twirling me around. “She said yes, we’re getting married and having a baby!” Everyone was laughing at Luke who seemed so stunned and excited, he couldn’t help but ramble.

  Putting me down, he scooped me into his arms and carried me over the threshold. “Luke, we aren’t married yet and this isn’t our home.” I smacked his arm, laughing at my man who had the heart of a boy.

  “I know, I’m just getting in practice. I mean, you might be as big as a whale by the time we get married and I might not be able to lift you.”

  “Wow, not even I would be game to say that,” Grant commented to Zara while following us into the house.

  “That’s because you’re smarter than that.” She rolled her eyes at him while leaning in to hug us both.

  “Luke hasn’t quite worked out what female hormones are capable of in a pregnant woman, yet. Good luck with that, buddy.” Zach slapped him on the back as he walked past.

  “You can all laugh and think you’re funny but we all know I’m the funniest person in this family. Plus, I don’t care what you say. I’ve got my girl, and now baby, makes three!”

  Looking into my soul, his words were meant just for me.

  “Life doesn’t get any better than this. Now for my surprise.”

  Lifting up his shirt he showed me his chest above his heart where there was now a tattoo. Between happiness and hormones, I became a blubbering mess. My hand touched his heart where his tattoo was of my little girl tattoo, holding her heart in her hands. But now, there was a little boy standing next to her, holding his hands around hers and her heart. The heart was healthy and red with no cracks. Two daffodils grew together, wrapping around the heart. The little girl and boy stood in a field full of daffodils, facing the sun with a sky behind them full of stars. I couldn’t speak, I was so full of emotion.

  In a whisper
just for me, he said, “Always beside you, kitten, always will be. Love you.”

  Forever love, they called it in this family.

  They were right.

  THE END

  Message from the Author

  We all travel this journey of life together. Some days are easy, some are hard. There are others that are amazing and days that feel so hard, you’re unsure what tomorrow will bring.

  Remember, no matter what type of day you’re having, it’s okay not to be okay. It takes more bravery and strength to ask for help than it does to struggle alone. However, you’ll be surprised by how many people care and want to help if you let them in.

  When I started writing Love’s Hiding, Zoe spoke her story differently to how I originally saw her. That was the irony of the whole story. Quite often, people who are having a hard time are very good at hiding it. Zoe was one of those people and for a period of my life, so was I.

  Sometimes, we experience awful things that affect us, and often there’s not a particular reason. It’s just a time in your life where it just feels hard. Whatever the reason, never feel you are alone, because you most certainly are not. Don’t be afraid to put your hand up and say I need help, no matter how hard it feels. It will be the first step to your new beginning.

  To all the loved ones and friends who hugged me and said it’s okay that you aren’t okay, you are my daffodils.

  I’m grateful every day for the life I live and the people who live it with me.

  You are loved xxx

  Karen

  LIST OF TITLES

  Available Now

  LOVE’S WALL #1

  LOVE’S DANCE #2

  LOVE’S HIDING #3