by Suzan Lauder
And perhaps opposites do attract, for he could show me a world I have never before known, and I could bring out his kind and amiable side for the rest of the world to see.
But the main reason “lively Lizzy” was marrying Mr. Darcy was that I was incomparably beholden to him for capturing my heart and cherishing it, loving it in a way that overwhelmed me. That would be my reply had they let me hear their question.
By the time those thoughts had run through my brain, I was facing my husband-to-be, and he was taking my hand from Papa’s. All at once, my trepidation dissipated, and I became as calm as Jane. No more trembling, no more fretting. In the last months, my time spent in conversation with Mr. Darcy caused him to take over from Jane as my best friend. I was most comfortable at his side.
The service went quickly, and although I had heard the sacred words at others’ weddings, they meant so much more when I recited them myself. Mr. Darcy had tears in his dark eyes when he spoke them reverently back to me in his wonderful, deep voice. When the service was completed, I proceeded through the small group of smiling faces on my new husband’s arm.
The first faces we encountered among the onlookers were those I care most about: my immediate family. Mary was all gentle smiles that reminded me a bit of Jane, and she looked her best with her hair arranged in a softer style than usual. Kitty and Lydia leaned together whispering, grinning, and giggling as was their wont. All three of my younger sisters wore new gowns made from the same soft blue muslin. The cut, needlework, and lace on their gowns differed to suit the personality of each, from the latest design for Lydia to the modest but pretty dress for Mary. Their outer garments were in darker shades of blue, with a fitted spencer for Lydia, a stylish capuchin cloak for Kitty, and a mantle for Mary. Mama was with them, her hands clutched together with a handkerchief between them. Between dramatic dabs at her eyes, she held the fine, embroidered piece of fabric over her heart. All four bore the evidence of happy tears. Even Papa looked sentimental.
Two ladies who had married prior to us were amidst the crowd that waited outside the church: Mrs. Charlotte Collins with her remarkably handsome husband and Mrs. Anne Wickham with her slightly less attractive—but nevertheless striking in regimentals—spouse of one month. Both ladies’ empire gowns were cut even higher in the waist in an effort to disguise their heavy bellies. The two glowed in a way they had not mere months ago. Before their marriages, Charlotte had lost her bloom and the former Miss de Bourgh had been ill-treated with medicines for her sickly constitution, leaving her with a tiny body and a wan appearance. Now the latter had gained a little weight—in addition to that which Mr. Wickham had put in her—and she looked pretty with her filled-out cheeks, soft skin, and shiny hair. Charlotte had always been round, but now her weight was all in front and her skin glowed. The two women had become intimates with their similar situations of hasty recent weddings, impending motherhood, and adjacent homes.
I paused to hug Charlotte before we paraded to carriages to transport us to Longbourn’s largest parlour—really, two parlours joined by the main hall—for the wedding breakfast. Mr. Collins took the opportunity to bless us ebulliently, and even his most loquacious speech could not annoy me on this happy day. For the remainder of the morning, he smiled at his new wife with pride, not noticing anyone else in the room. Nothing could have made his sculpted face more breathtakingly beautiful than the love in his eyes. He had joined Charlotte’s gain of considerable girth, and his tailor had not kept up, so the brass buttons on his gold-threaded waistcoat threatened to burst. This less than flawless Mr. Collins was a shock to me; marriage obviously had changed him. But his proud, smiling face remained almost as handsome as Mr. Darcy’s.
The scapegrace who had tried to fool me had changed too. Mr. Wickham smiled at every lady in the room and flirted with those who came near, but he never left his wife’s side the entire time. His rushed marriage to Anne de Bourgh had sealed his fate and bought him the fortune he always wanted. He also gained a domineering mother-in-law, who thought he would have a more dashing air in regimentals than a blue coat for his recent wedding. But he would soon be relieved of his uniform because Lady Catherine thought it unseemly for a gentleman to be in the militia and insisted he resign as soon as he could be released from duty. Though I was less than pleased that he had finally achieved his goal of a rich wife, I could not begrudge him. He did seem enamoured of her, and as already noted, his influence on her health was striking.
Mr. Bingley, always happy and gregarious, moved around the room, laughing and joking with all the guests. His pleasant countenance was the result of the crinkle of his eye, the breadth of his smile, and his easy, unaffected manners. Had the other superior-looking men not been present, everyone would surely be admiring his fine appearance in his wedding clothes. Jane, happy to share her husband’s attention, sat composed and contented like she belonged in a portrait gallery.
The man on my arm received my next glance—upwards since my new husband was wonderfully tall to complement his noble mien and fine figure. He was already gazing down at me, and his expression portrayed the words his lips formed silently: “I love you.” I whispered the words back, and I had never been so certain of a feeling in my life nor more elated to say any group of three tiny words. And who could not be? He is so dear to me and important to the completion of my happiness. I could stare at my love day in and day out. He is the best of men.
At one time, I would never have said any man had a finer countenance than Mr. Collins; yet, as nearly perfect as my cousin was, he paled in comparison to Mr. Darcy, particularly because I could read every nuance of expression in those chocolate eyes inside his attractive, aristocratic face.
Most of all, I had no idea how much love could change my perception of a man for the better. My own eye would always prefer the man I married, for Mr. Darcy indeed was the most handsome gentleman.
THE END
Acknowledgements
A little book can have a huge number of people who have inspired or contributed to its success, and this little book has a village of them!
My heartfelt thanks go to my readers who laughed with me while this was posting at AHA, and those who will laugh with the published version. You always latch onto a new book of mine with enthusiasm even before you read it, you give me positive feedback in your comments and reviews, and you make me feel like it’s all worth it. That dedication keeps me going onto the next project.
As usual, I’m grateful to the cheerleaders that are known as the AHA Chat Chits, who always asked how the writing was going on working title “Hot Collins,” then they’d shoot out a few comments that I usually already had in mind but were still appreciated! They’re firm supporters of AHA writers of all qualities.
Best thanks to my amazing beta team of Leslie D. and Nina H. Both were new betas to me, yet their speed and quality exceeded the majority of betas I’ve ever worked with! They are also great cheerleaders and dear friends, never mind being cat moms like me!
Smooches to Gail Warner who always takes what I think is my best shot at it and helps me edit it to near perfection. This one was easier—do we have a certain vibe going on that we play off each other and make each other faster editors? Cover artist Janet Taylor and proofreader/layout artist/graphic designer Ellen Pickels make it all purdy to appeal to my wonderful readers. Thanks to the cover model for Mr. Darcy, Janet’s grandson Chayseland Taylor, who is a very handsome young man. The marketing savvy of Zorylee Diaz-Lupitou and blog tour coordinator Janet Taylor brought the book to a new market of readers with panache.
Several of the Meryton Press team who weren’t directly involved in publication of this book deserve special thanks for helping me retain my pride through some disappointments: Jenetta James, Karen M. Cox, A. D’Orazio, Lory Lilian, Christina Boyd and Zorylee Diaz-Lupitou all gave marvellous encouragement and kept me smiling all the way to publication of my unique and original plot ideas—cop
ycats and saboteurs be damned.
Of course, Mr. Suze and the boys make my life happy every day, no matter how well the writing is going. They’re worth more than the rest put together.
The Tunes for “Hot Collins”
The challenge when writing a book about a minor character is to not have him take over the story. A challenge when that character has a rather odious personality is to not let that take over your writing and make it negative when it’s supposed to be a comedy. That’s where muse-ic came in, and I have not one, but two playlists to go with this story. They can be found on YouTube under user name “Studio 54,” and their titles are “Lighten Up,” which helped me with humour, and “Hot Collins,” which helped with characterization. They contain a mix of genres that will be pleasing to many readers.
In addition, some words from the English libretto for a favourite aria were used in Chapter 4: Largo al Factotum from Rossini’s Il barbiere di Siviglia, best known as Figaro’s Aria from The Barber of Seville.
Historical notes—
Elizabeth’s reference to law books
We all know it was considered a dastardly plan for Wickham and Mrs. Younge to conspire for Georgiana Darcy to elope with Mr. Wickham—Jane Austen makes that clear in Pride and Prejudice.
What she does not say that would be common knowledge to readers of the early nineteenth century is that taking a woman against her wishes for the purposes of marriage for lucre, that is, “a crime vulgarly called stealing an heiress” was a felony, and the marriage would be invalid. The woman could claim damages, and injury by libel associated with the act was punishable as well. If a person over fourteen “who unlawfully should convey or take away a woman-child...within the years of 16” against the wishes of her parents, etc., they go to jail for two years. If he deflowered the “woman-child” in this circumstance, the penalty was five years. So what Wickham did with Georgiana wasn’t just morally corrupt, it was illegal at the time.
Reference: The Law Dictionary, Defining and Interpreting the Terms or Words of Art, and Explaining the Rise, Progress, and Present State of the English Law by Thomas-Edlyne Tomlins, 1810, pages 608-9. (Google Books)
About the Author
A lover of Jane Austen, Regency period research and costuming, cycling, yoga, blogging, and independent travel, cat mom Suzan Lauder is seldom idle.
Her first effort at a comedy, A Most Handsome Gentleman is the fourth time Lauder has been published by Meryton Press. Her earlier works include a mature Regency romance with a mystery twist, Alias Thomas Bennet; a modern short romance, “Delivery Boy,” in the holiday anthology Then Comes Winter, and the dramatic tension-filled, Regency romance Letter from Ramsgate.
She and Mr. Suze split their time between a loft condo overlooking the Salish Sea and a 150-year-old Spanish colonial home near the sea in Mexico.
Suzan’s lively prose is also available to her readers on her blog, road trips with the redhead suzanlauder.merytonpress.com, on her facebook author page https://www.facebook.com/SuzanLauder, and @suzanlauder on Twitter where you can read the latest tweets about #HOTCollins.
Alias Thomas Bennet
Then Comes Winter
Letter from Ramsgate
Book Club Questions
The author’s nickname for this novel as she was writing it was “Hot Collins.” How do you think this suits her descriptions of the character of Mr. Collins? What else would you envision?
What in Mr. Collins’s personality in A Most Handsome Gentleman is the same as in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice? What differs? What changes do you see in Collins as the story progresses?
All the ladies are smitten with Mr. Collins. Select three to five female characters and compare their attitudes and actions related to their adoration of Mr. Collins.
The story is told in first person (Elizabeth Bennet). If it were told with additional points of view represented, whose point of view would you be the most interested to hear? Why? Give examples of what it would sound like and enjoy your friends’ reactions.
Compare the key plot points where Elizabeth’s change of heart towards Darcy take place in A Most Handsome Gentleman in comparison to the key plot points of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. Where are the parallels?
Name some personalities you think Mr. Collins looks like, such as movie stars, public figures, etc. Discuss your choices and the pros and cons of each individual in comparison with the physical traits in the novel.
Can you think of public personalities or roles played by actors where the individual not only has the physical traits, but have also represented Collins’s obsequious, self-important, foolish attitude?
Compare Mr. Darcy and Mr. Collins at the start and at the end of the book. What has occurred to change them, and when did those key plot points take place?
A Most Handsome Gentleman was written to suit readers of all ages who can easily read Pride and Prejudice; however, there are some mildly titillating scenes, and some online readers imagined mature scenes. What do you think of the role of sexual scenes in a book like this?
Online readers of this story enjoyed specific quotes of the author’s original prose as well as the novel ways in which favourite quotes from Austen were re-used. Pick out a few of your favourites and compare them with the others in your group.