Finders Keepers (Norman Brides)
Page 19
Never in her life had she felt so alone or so trapped. The fact her current predicament was of her own making only made her desolation that much deeper. The weak light of the new moon glanced off the rich sapphire ring Luke placed on her finger during their marriage ceremony. Was that only hours ago? She accepted his generous gift as a token of the friendship between them and his promise to find Michel. Now the expensive jewel weighed on her hand like an iron cuff clapped around her wrist, with the vows she repeated before the elderly priest binding her to Luke more securely than a jailor’s shackles in a prison cell. Tears burned behind her eyelids but she squeezed her lids shut to prevent them from escaping. She would not cry over the loss of her shattered dreams of finding a true love to last a lifetime with Luke. He was right. Dreams belonged to little girls. She was a grown woman now. It was time she faced the stark truth. Perhaps she once allowed herself the indulgence of thinking Luke might possibly be the right man for her. Now she knew her previous presumption was correct. There was no such thing as the right man.
Luke made no effort to prevent his bride’s retreat from his bed. Her stilted posture as she stared out the window into the night revealed her youth and innocence. There was a fragility to her slender shoulders and bent head that concerned him, almost as much as the defeated expression she regarded him with when he refused to indulge her foolish fantasies about her experience of life. He was afraid to disturb the stilted silence between them, thinking a single word from him would be enough to shatter any hope of recapturing their previous joy in each other. For all his enviable reputation with women, the ease with which he convinced them to warm his bed; he had no idea how to repair the damage he’d inflicted with his harshness on his delicate bride. He didn’t regret his vow to her. It was time Melissa accepted he had no intention of ever letting her go; regardless of his singular act of stupidity in affixing his seal to the bottom of those stupid divorce papers she waved in front of his face like a flag bearer on a battlefield. He could force her back into his bed now, but the thought of doing so brought his brother’s foul actions too close to mind. So he allowed her to remain where she was, alone in front of the cold window, and hoping she didn’t catch a chill.
Chapter Sixteen
When dawn made its fresh appearance the light of a new day found them as the previous day left them, with Melissa still standing in front of the window wrapped in the covering from their marriage bed and Luke watching her from where he remained on the bed with his back leaning against the finely carved headboard. His glance took in the golden light piercing the open shutters and falling over his wife’s lovely face. The slivers of light caught the mahogany streaks in the dark curls streaming over his bride’s naked shoulders to stop just short of her slender hips. He could not prevent the almost savage pang of lust at the sight of the luminous glow her perfect skin took on in dawn’s subtle light. He suppressed it just as savagely, recognizing the distance between them had been honed to a sharp edge by the long silent hours of the endless night when they arrayed themselves on opposite sides of the dividing line drawn between them, foolish pride preventing them both from reaching across the rift separating them. Luke acknowledged Melissa was just stubborn enough to stand there all day if he allowed this idiotic standoff to continue between them. So, promising himself it would be the last time he would bend to her will, he broke their long silence.
“Melissa, come away from the window. I’ll call for a bath. You need to get dressed and pack your things. We’re leaving this morning.”
Mistaking the promise in his words, Melissa swung around and eyed him with renewed hope and excitement. “You’ll take me with you to search for Michel? We can leave today?”
Luke thrust his hand through his hair in a singular act manifesting his frustration at the joyful anticipation on her face. An anticipation he would be forced to crush when he disabused her of the foolish notion he would take her with him into the Saxon wilderness on what would definitely be a cold and uncomfortable journey, and might very well prove to be a dangerous one. “You mistake my meaning. We will be sailing for Normandy today. I must inform my father of my brother’s death. When I have accomplished that task I will return to Saxony to search for Michel. You will remain behind at the family estate with my father until I return.”
It took a few moments for his meaning to sink in, but when it did Melissa felt the color drain from her face. He meant to take her away from everything she’d ever known and dump her on her unsuspecting fatherin-law, then return to Saxony without her. How was it possible she so misjudged this man? How could she for a single moment have believed he was different from the other noblemen of her acquaintance? “Do you hate me so much? Have you not yet finished taking your revenge against me? Was your brother dearer to you than you claim that you would send me to your father so he may exact his revenge for his son’s death? Why not just kill me now? Why would you nurse me back to health only to deliver me to my executioner?”
Luke was so stunned and furious at the insult his bride flung at his head he was hard-pressed not to jump from the bed and shake some sense into her stubborn little mind. Only the sight of her pale face and very real distress kept him where he was, because beneath her distress he saw something that was nearly his undoing. Terror lurked behind the hurt and disappointment he read in her shocked expression. Still he couldn’t totally subdue the roughness in his voice when he challenged her affront to his honor. “If a man were to lay such a loathsome accusation against me, I would kill him without a moment’s hesitation.”
“Then kill me now, husband. It would be kinder than the alternative you have spelled out for me.”
Luke couldn’t stop himself this time. He bounded from the bed and gripped his wife’s stubborn, slender shoulders and pulled her fiercely against him. “You are my wife. I will not drag you on a difficult journey across the Saxon wilderness on a search that will likely result in a devastating conclusion for you. Tell me. Explain to me how that would be kinder than seeing you warm and well-fed in my family home, with servants to see to your every need and under my father’s protection.”
“A father you admit you are not on good terms with. A father who believed the son I killed was an honorable man and who would believe his own honor demanded he exact revenge against his son’s murderer. Is this the man whose protection you would leave me under? In a strange country where I know no one, among soldiers who were responsible for my own family’s deaths? And my loving, temporary husband will remain by my side only long enough to see me imprisoned in his family’s keep? Is this the alternative I am supposed to prefer to the comfort of my childhood home, with the company of my sister, and under the protection of my new brother-in-law, who I realize may not harbor particularly kind feelings towards me, but I have witnessed his genuine fondness for my sister and he would keep me safe and warm and well-fed if for no other reason than his regard for her?”
“You expect me to grant my permission for you to return to Heaven’s Crest with Rhiann? The keep, I might point out, you fled just short months ago.” Luke was having difficulty crediting the way his wife’s mind worked. She was his wife. Of course she would take up residence in his family home while he fulfilled his promise to her and to the king to search for her missing and likely dead, twin.
“I am not certain what I expect of you anymore. I so obviously misjudged you I no longer have any expectation of you at all.”
Luke cursed vividly at her honesty unknowing his hands clamped tighter around her arms. Melissa offered no protest at his rough treatment of her, and it wasn’t until he saw her wince in pain, Luke realized what he was doing. Not trusting the extent of his control over the fury engulfing him he dropped his hands to his sides and retreated a step from where his wife stood regarding him with unbending, majestic, but incredibly foolish pride. “It doesn’t have to be this way between us, Melissa. You trusted me once.”
“And you betrayed that trust,” she threw at him starkly, the devastation at what she perceive
d as his betrayal evident in her pale face.
“I did not betray you. How have you come to such an absurd conclusion?” Luke’s shouted demand was in stark contrast to Melissa’s anguished voice.
“You forced this farce of a marriage upon us both and you are only now realizing the damage your irrational male pride has wrought. If you would only agree to release me from my commitment to you we can both return to our own lives and part as the friends I once believed we were.”
“And what if you are with child?”
His challenge hung suspended for a long moment in the space separating them before Melissa dismissed it with sweeping motion of her hand. “That is very unlikely. You accepted the same chance when you agreed to our divorce.”
“You cannot seriously believe I would divorce the mother of my son or daughter,” he retorted incredulously. “You once accused me of having a surfeit of honor, now it appears you believe I lack any at all.”
“I do not doubt your honor, Luke, only your motivations behind this marriage. Forgive me if I prefer not to be tied for life to a man who only wed me because I bear the distinct dishonor of having been his dead brother’s final, unfortunate victim.”
Luke closed his eyes and rubbed his fists against them in a futile gesture of faith that when he opened them again his world would return to the orderly, disciplined life he once knew before this frustrating, argumentative, passionate, fiercely proud, yet incredibly alluring woman entered it. “Melissa, I did not lie to you about my reasons for marrying you. There is no other woman who appeals to me the way you do. There is no other who has touched my heart as you have.”
At his gallant admission, uttered with such conviction, tears stung the sapphire eyes that clung to his trying to discern the truth of his claim. “If what you say is true, allow me to go to my sister’s while you search for Michel. Please, I beg of you, Luke, do not force me to leave my home and spend the next months alone in the company of strangers who will regard me as their enemy at best, and their future lord’s murderer at worst.”
Perceiving her fear of her reception from his father and his family’s servants was real Luke sighed heavily and acquiesced to her request, once again promising himself it would be the last time his will would yield to hers. “If I agree to send you to your sister’s, I want your promise I will not be forced to chase my wife all over Saxony when I return to Heaven’s Crest with news of your brother.”
Relief swamped her and Melissa quickly agreed to his terms before he could reconsider the olive branch he extended in her direction. “I promise.”
Reluctantly Luke nodded his agreement while at the same time he wondered if he was destined to spend the remainder of his life arguing with this spirited woman and squeezing every tiny concession from her as he would an opponent in a court of law. “I will speak with Nathan and the king and place you under his guardianship while I am away. The prospect does not sit well with me, and I hope you recognize it is only my very real regard for you and for our future together that compels me to do so.”
“Thank you.”
If Luke was expecting a repeat of his wedding night as a reward for his indulgence he was severely disappointed. Instead he was forced to content himself with his bride’s two little words of appreciation. The unwelcome suspicion was beginning to take shape in his head that Lady Rhiann’s prediction on the eve of his marriage was going to prove painfully accurate and his new bride was going to lead him around in circles until his head was spinning before she finally settled down and accepted her role as a dutiful wife to him and as the mother of his children. The only difficulty he could foresee for his planned future of marital peace was that after only a single night of wedded bliss his head was already circling so fast he was nauseous with it. How in the world he was going to survive the next twelve months if they were filled with similar contests, he had no notion.
Shaking his head in bemusement he turned and left the room without another word to his wife, summoned a bath for his bride from a passing servant, and then went in search of his friend and new brother-in-law. He swept through the large double doors of the keep and saw Nathan engaged in readying his men for their departure to his new estates. Luke knew what this moment meant to Nathan and he was loath to spoil it, but as far as he could reason he had no choice in the matter. Nathan was the only man he would trust with his wife’s welfare. If their situations were reversed Luke knew he would believe he had no choice but to accept guardianship over his wife’s sister. Luke felt certain Nathan would feel similarly constrained when he put his request to him.
If Nathan was surprised to see Luke approach within an hour of dawn on the morning after his wedding night his expression gave nothing away. Luke watched as Nathan turned the arrangements for his departure over to his commander and then strode in Luke’s direction so that their meeting would be held away from curious ears. At Nathan’s inquiring look in his direction, Luke admitted bluntly.
“I’ve made a mess of things.”
Shaking his head, and with a sympathetic smile playing around his lips, Nathan replied drily, “I imagine you had a little help from your bride.”
In a habitual gesture of frustration, Luke thrust one hand through his hair. “Yes, well, she would no doubt dispute your assertion.”
“And you are so besotted with your new wife you are unwilling to set her straight on the matter of who is the lord and who is the chattel.”
At Nathan’s dry repetition of the very accusation Luke put to him, Luke laughed appreciatively, finding his first bit of humor in the bizarre situation he was immersed in with Melissa. “Yes, that is no less than the truth and I do not blame you for taking your revenge for my earlier amusement at your expense.”
“You seem to be in a remarkably conciliatory mood this morning, which makes me suspect I am not going to be pleased about the reason for your dawn visit the morning after your wedding night. I imagine it was not to simply wish me a pleasant journey as you would no doubt conclude Rhiann would not leave the city without bidding her sister farewell.”
Luke acknowledged his friend’s perception with a regretful glance. “Tis the truth you speak, my friend.”
“My dread knows no bounds now.”
Luke bit back a laugh and reluctantly confessed the reason for his visit. While he could see Nathan had no liking for his request, he also knew he would not refuse him.
“Do I even want to know how it is your wife will be leaving London in my company, rather than that of her lord and husband’s?”
Luke once more thrust an impatient hand through his hair and reluctantly explained. “I thought to leave her in my father’s care while I set out on what we both know will likely prove a futile search for news of Michel’s fate, but Melissa was so upset at the prospect of being left alone with my father, particularly considering she was the one responsible for Mason’s death, I suspect even if I did manage to drag her all the way to Normandy, unless I was willing to instruct my father to make her a virtual prisoner in the keep, she would find a way to escape the walls and try to make her own way back to Saxony to find either Michel or her grandmother on her own.”
Nathan nodded, acknowledging Luke’s reasoning. “May I just state for the record I am more grateful than ever that it was Rhiann the king decreed would be my wife rather than her older sister, who by rights should have been awarded the dowry of their father’s estates. And since I was the one who benefitted most from her headstrong ways I will agree to act as Melissa’s guardian until you return to claim your wife. Hopefully neither of us will have to wait the length of a full year for you to do so.”
Luke nodded, relieved. “I will find a way to repay you.”
Nathan dismissed Luke’s offer with an impatient gesture. “I would tell you your suggestion is absurd considering our long years of friendship, but since I know very well my wife is more like her sister than either she or anyone else pretends, I have no doubt the opportunity will present itself for you to make good on your vow sooner
than either of us would like.”
Luke laughed, not surprised Nathan had already seen past Rhiann’s pretense of simply being a young woman whose only goal in life was to be a dutiful wife to her new Norman husband.
Nathan glanced over Luke’s shoulder and commented on a long-suffering sigh. “Besides, Melissa is not the only additional company we will be leaving the city with.”
Luke turned to follow Nathan’s gaze and saw one of Nathan’s soldiers engaged in conversation with Father Bernard in front of the old church. He turned a quizzical glance in his friend’s direction.
“My wife has taken a liking to the orphaned children in Father Bernard’s care. She is fully convinced we will be able to find families in the villages surrounding Heaven’s Crest who will be pleased to take them in.”
At Nathan’s reluctant explanation, Luke turned his attention back to the scene where Nathan’s soldier stood with the priest, noted the small group of excited children being led out of the back of the church, each clutching little bags and dressed in their warm cloaks, and his shoulders began shaking with a laughter he made no effort to suppress. It comforted him to know his good friend was not having an easy time adjusting to married life either. “And if you cannot find families willing to see to their care?” Luke inquired grinning.
“Rhiann assures me that will not be the case, and even if it does turn out to be so, she will not put the charge of the children’s care upon my shoulders. Instead, she plans to sell some of the jewelry her father left her to see to their needs.”
Laughter exploded from between Luke’s lips and he gave his friend a sympathetic clap on the back. “And who is going to purchase her fine jewelry in the humble villages surrounding your new estate?” At his friend’s wry look, Luke added grinning, “I know you have no reason to find the situation amusing, but it comforts me to know I am not the only one who has lost complete control over my household and my wife.”