by Wood, Lynn
As if bound by some invisible string, Nathan began trailing after his wife. Michel’s arm shot out as he would have passed him and halted his brother-in-law’s progress. “I believe both of my sisters need a little peace from their new husbands.”
His friend’s regret mirrored Luke’s own when he admitted. “I have been a fool. Rhiann was right. I believed I was the only one who was forced to make compromises in our marriage.”
“You are not the only one who has been a fool.” Luke echoed bitterly.
Smiling, Michel took possession of one of each of his new brothers’ arms and began leading them back to the table in the center of the room. “Yes, well, Rhiann does tend to have that effect on people.”
Luke heard his friend echoing his own regret as Michel led them along. “I never considered she would find comfort in her grandmother’s presence, particularly now given her delicate condition and with her own mother gone. What kind of a husband am I? How could I not have recognized Rhiann would need a mother’s comfort after all she’s been through?”
Even as Michel signaled Addy to bring food and fresh ale, Luke popped up from his place at the bench Michel just pushed him into. “I must leave tonight. I need to speak to Melissa before your grandmother convinces her she would be better off without me for a husband.”
Michel pushed him back down on the bench. “I will summon an escort for you in the morning. Eat.” He instructed as he filled all of their glasses from the pitcher of ale Addy placed in front of him.
“Rhiann said she summoned a Salusian guard.”
“Yes.”
“How does one do that?”
Michel’s lips curved upward in his ready smile even as he denied his host’s request. “I am afraid there are certain things we are not permitted to share with outsiders.”
“I am hardly an outsider. I’m her husband.” Nathan made no effort to disguise his affront.
“And as her husband you have done everything possible to mold my sister into the kind of wife you expect her to be.”
“She is my wife.” Nathan repeated, as if that explained everything.
Luke met Michel’s glance across the table. “Rhiann claimed they were different from other women.”
“Yes. Did you need to hear her words to comprehend that truth?”
Luke swallowed half the ale in his mug. “No.”
“But you thought my sisters would be transformed into proper Norman wives by virtue of the vows they exchanged with you. Vows I might add they had very little choice in the matter of repeating.”
“What is your point?” Luke demanded, his frustration erupting in his surly tone.
“My point is, you have a choice, the same choice my father faced, but I think never truly acknowledged.”
In unison his two companions proclaimed, “I’m not giving her up.”
Michel smiled and changed the topic of their conversation. “Did my sisters tell you we spent our summers with our grandmother’s people?”
“Yes.” It was Nathan who answered Michel’s curiosity.
“And you have already decided your own children will not be spending their summers in a similar fashion.”
Neither man neither confirmed nor denied Michel’s supposition.
“My father left the raising of his young children largely to my mother, as do most men. So he raised no objection when we were sent to our grandmother’s, though he would not permit my mother to remain away from him for long. I think he actually looked forward to the summers. It gave him the opportunity to have time alone with my mother without our constant demands on her attention, but as we grew older and it became apparent we were developing some unusual attitudes, in our father’s view, particularly Melissa, he began refusing his permission for more than a brief visit with our grandmother’s people, as if he could change us all back into proper Saxon lords and ladies by doing so. My mother was crushed, though she never raised a complaint with our father. In her eyes, I think, she regarded my father’s position as just one more rejection of that part of her, as if her life before becoming his wife could be wiped clean, or swept beneath the rushes. I often wondered why she stayed with him. Frankly, I never understood how the two of them ended up together in the first place. She loved him in a way I am unable to comprehend. I honor her for it, even though I cannot understand it.”
Later that evening, with the memory of Michel’s confusion ringing in his ears, Nathan climbed the stairs to his room. “I often wondered why she stayed with him.” His ale soaked brain rebelled against the foolishness of such a statement. Where else would the duchess have gone? She was the duke’s wife, his property in the eyes of the law. She had no say in the matter. Nathan recognized he was just drunk enough to be a real danger to his aim to reconcile with his wife if he attempted to confront her in his current condition, so he contented himself with looking in on her where she slept alone in the bed meant for both of them. He stoked the fire in the hearth and added fresh logs to ensure the room remained comfortably warm through the night.
It was not only Luke who was making a mess of his marriage, Nathan realized, as he closed the door and started down the hall to the spare room he’d been sleeping in lately. He prayed his wife’s patient and gentle spirit extended to her sometimes overbearing husband. They were still searching for the common ground he sought to find between them in London. He’d been so busy dealing with the matters of the estate since their return to Heaven’s Crest it hadn’t occurred to him his inattention and masculine pride would bring him to the brink of losing the one thing that was the true source of his new joy…his wife’s love.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
Rhiann watched from the window of the tower room as Luke and his men rode through the gates in search of Melissa. She could see Amele waiting for them at the top of the ridge and offered a prayer for her sister’s marriage. Her own seemed beyond repair. Or perhaps it was not beyond mending but her husband appeared to have no interest in fixing it. Where did that leave her? She envisioned long years similar to the past several weeks stretching out in front of her and her heart stuttered at the thought. She realized she was not her mother. Maybe Michel would be willing to take her with him when he left. The appealing prospect was squelched by her more rational side, the part of her she inherited from her father. No, she could not put Michel in such a position. Nathan would never allow her to leave with her brother, despite now possessing everything he spent his life laboring for. She doubted she could convince him he would be better off with a wife from his world who would expect nothing more of him than what her father gave her mother, a beautiful home along with a wealth of material things.
She turned at the sound of the door to the room being pushed open. Her wary glance met her husband’s across the width of the narrow space separating them. Rhiann couldn’t think of anything to say to break the silence and her husband seemed disinclined to do so. He was regarding her with an odd expression on his face she was unable to interpret.
For his part, Nathan was waiting for the hammering in his heart to slow before he approached his wife. He’d gone to their room ready to have a reasonable discussion about their marriage only to discover it empty. He knew Rhiann had not yet been downstairs that morning, so his first thought was that she followed her sister and flown from him. He doubted Michel was in the mood to be so accommodating as to summon a second Salusian guard for Nathan to chase after his wife, so Nathan planned to catch up with Luke’s party.
His half-formed plan was running through his mind as he raced down the stairs into the hall, when he remembered Rhiann sometimes took refuge in the tower room when she wanted to be alone. Before he took off on a mad gallop to catch up with Luke’s party, he dashed back up the stairs and then further up the narrow, winding staircase that led to the top of the tower. He assumed the relief crashing through him at the sight of her turning to face him at his abrupt entrance was responsible for the way his thoughts rushed through and crowded his head until he was unable to think cl
early and summon an appropriate greeting for the wife he virtually ignored over the past several weeks.
Gaining his breath, and seeking a few more moments to come up with some incredibly meaningful wisdom that would turn Rhiann’s gentle heart back to him, he took a few steps into the room. No such wisdom came to mind. He was a simple man, a soldier in the king’s service, regardless of what he now possessed. His previous life did not lend to such moments. He had little experience courting a woman’s affection and never before had he felt the lack in his previous education as he did now.
“Rhiann…” Reaching her he gently held her shoulders and drew her towards him. She flinched at his touch and averted her gaze from his searching regard. Nathan’s heart sank in his chest and whatever words were hovering on his tongue became glued there.
A new harsher silence fell between them until his wife finally broke it in a soft voice. “If the vows we exchanged in God’s house are ever going to be more than hollow words we spoke with our lips but did not mean with our hearts, you cannot turn from me and leave me alone in our bedroom every time I displease you.”
Nathan controlled his instant indignation at the reminder of her blatant betrayal of the very vows she reminded him of only with an effort. “You did not merely displease me, wife. You put your sister in deadly danger and me in an untenable position with my king and my close friend.”
Rhiann lifted her direct gaze to his when she challenged him. “If I confided Melissa’s condition to you, if I explained her feelings, would you have provided a safe escort for her to our grandmother’s?”
“No.”
“No, you would have attempted to keep Melissa from leaving the estate, which would have only compelled her to leave without anyone’s knowledge, thus forcing her into the very position I was protecting her from by not confiding in you.”
Nathan was having difficulty following his wife’s feminine logic. “Had you trusted me, Rhiann, your sister would not have been in a position to leave the keep and she would have been here when Luke honored his vow to her and returned your brother to you both. She would even now be reunited with her husband.”
Rhiann rolled her eyes at him as if she was having difficulty comprehending his logical reasoning. “Luke did not bring Michel here. He accompanied him as a favor to Luke in repayment of what he perceived as an old debt.” When Nathan would have inquired as to the nature of the obligation Rhiann referred to, she continued, “Melissa would have left the keep alone and unescorted no matter the precautions you took to keep her from doing so.”
“She would not have been in a position to leave the keep if you, my wife, and my supposedly faithful retainers, revealed the hidden ways in and out of what is now my property.” Nathan’s voice rose along with his feelings about his wife’s insult, an offense she had yet to correct.
“The servants do not know them. You accuse them unjustly.”
“And you, wife? Are you going to claim you do not know them?”
“No.”
The single soft word was enough to incite the anger Nathan swore he would restrain when he spoke to his wife. “You do not even apologize for your defiance of your husband?”
“My husband?” Rhiann echoed, as if astonished by his claim. “I have seen no evidence of having a husband in these past weeks. I have slept alone in our chamber. There have been no kind words exchanged between us, no evidence of the love you profess to feel for me. In London you told me there was nothing you could learn about me that would change your love for me, but I think you lied to me, to both of us.” At his dark scowl at her conclusion, Rhiann added, “Not deliberately, for you are an honorable man, but it is obvious to me, Nathan, there are some things about me you are unable to accept. Because of them, I am no longer your wife in your eyes, or in mine.”
“That’s ridiculous, Rhiann. You are my wife. Nothing can change that.”
“You have changed that, Nathan, by your own words and your own deeds. Have you found someone else more pleasing to you to share your bed?”
“What?!” Nathan was genuinely shocked at his wife’s suspicion. He could not credit she would think him capable of being unfaithful to their marriage vows. “Rhiann, do not be ridiculous. There is no other woman who warms my bed. You are the only woman I want.”
Apparently that is not true as you have not shared ours since you returned from your search for Melissa. Is it because you no longer find me attractive now that I cannot hide my pregnancy?”
Nathan was so astonished by her absurd conclusion his grip on her shoulders tightened in reaction. Seeing his wife grimace in pain, he eased his hold, but still shook her gently. “Rhiann, the evidence of your condition adds to your appeal to me, it does not detract from it. I imagine every man feels the same”
“Pretty words, husband, but your actions of late belie them.”
“And what of your actions, wife? You continue to cling to your loyalties to your family while you deny me my rights as your husband.”
“I have never denied you your husbandly rights, Nathan.”
“It is not my intimate rights I speak of, wife. I refer instead to my rights to your obedience and loyalty above all others, above even those of your siblings.”
“You expect me to choose between you and my brother and sister?”
“No, there should be no choice. I am your lord. Your loyalty belongs to me.”
Rhiann appeared at a loss as to how to respond to his perfectly reasonable argument. Perhaps she was beginning to comprehend her duty was to him and how patient he’d been with her to date. “And if I asked you to choose between my safety and that of your brother, Mark?”
Nathan dismissed her question with an impatient gesture, realizing his wife was not yet done with their contest of wills. “It is my duty to keep you both safe, and all those under my protection. I cannot do that if you continue to maintain secrets from me.”
“You expect me to offer you my complete trust, yet you have none to extend to me in return.”
“That is not true, Rhiann. Even if it were, I am your lord, by the laws of both the king and the church.”
“And I am only your property by the laws of both the king and the church.”
“Yes.”
“Then the vows we spoke to each other are indeed empty. In the sight of God marriage is a sacred commitment between equals. I am not your wife, Nathan. I am nothing more than your servant, or perhaps your slave, as even your servants are paid a fair wage for their efforts.”
Nathan was growing weary of an argument he was only getting sucked deeper into with every point and counterpoint. “You speak of blasphemy, Rhiann. Do you deny the laws of both the new king and the church itself?”
Rhiann pulled free of his grasp with a look of weary defeat in her eyes. “No, it is not blasphemy to speak the truth Nathan. That word is too often used by men seeking to lift their mortal opinion to that of the divine, and it is usually tossed about by those with barely a passing acquaintance of our heavenly father.”
Nathan gave up when he realized his young wife was actually daring to lecture him on the topic of blasphemy and implying his limited understanding was a result of his less than passing acquaintance of God’s holy will, a conclusion he could not in all honesty deny. The humor of the ridiculous dispute they were engaged in struck him suddenly and his lips twitched.
At the evidence of his amusement, Rhiann’s expression fell. Before he could stop her, she slipped passed him and rushed towards the door. “Rhiann, wait. I wasn’t laughing at you…”
Not surprising his defiant wife ignored his demand to wait. Sighing with resignation, but still grinning, he took off after her. When he heard the soft tap of her leather boots on the steep descent his amusement vanished. In her hurry and distraught emotional state she might miss her footing and tumble down the narrow stairs. He quickened his step. “Rhiann, wait. For God’s sake, slow down before you slip and injure yourself.”
But his words were lost in the empty hall. When he
reached the level of their room, he assumed she would seek sanctuary in their chambers. He was prepared to kick down the heavy wooden door if he found it locked against him, but when he turned the handle seeking entrance he was surprised to find it turn in his hand. He threw open the door only to find his former chambers empty. He slammed the door in frustration, wondering just how many secret ways there were out of his new home. Fortunately there was another member of the former inhabitant’s family in place who could answer that question for him.
He caught up with his brother-in-law at the stables. Both Michel and Sam, the old stable master, turned at his brusque approach. Sam bowed his head respectfully in his direction. Michel merely regarded him with an amused and knowing expression in his blue eyes so like his twin’s. At Nathan’s command to saddle his mount, Sam hurried over to the stall where Nathan’s horse was enjoying his morning meal. Seeing Nathan’s harried expression, Michel commented in a conversational tone in Sam’s direction, bringing a hastily suppressed grin to the old man’s face. “Let us hope my other new brother-in-law is enjoying greater success with his plan to convince Melissa to remain his wife. Otherwise I will likely be faced with the unwelcome prospect of both of my sisters’ company when I leave Saxony.”
Nathan turned to meet his new brother’s laughing glance. “Rhiann is my wife and carries my child. She will not be leaving Saxony or travelling beyond the village in anyone’s company but her husband’s.”
Smothering his amusement with obvious effort, Michel looked past him. “I hesitate to correct the new lord of the manor, but if you think to make good on your vow you would be better served to take my mount, otherwise you will have no hope of catching your wife before she is beyond the boundaries of the village.”
At his words, Nathan turned in the direction of Michel’s glance and swore softly at the sight of his wife flying across green the hills on the back of what would no doubt prove to be, a Salusian stallion. “Saddle the mare,” he commanded and then with a glare dared either of his companions to take further amusement at his expense.