She wanted to yell back, “Something is bothering me! It’s you! You’re driving me crazy!”
But all she said was, “I’m sure. Forget I said anything.”
They began to walk again. After about six feet, Jake stopped and said, “Meredith, there’s something I want to ask you.”
“Yes?”
“It’s pretty important,” Jake said. “I don’t know how you’ll feel about this. I’ve gone back and forth trying to decide if I should say anything.”
“It’s okay. What do you want to ask?”
Jake drew in a deep breath and said, “Let’s go to the car. I think you might want to be sitting down when I ask you.”
They walked briskly toward the parking lot, neither of them speaking.
Meredith suddenly understood why Shelly said she hated Meredith’s cat-and-mouse games. They were fun only for the cat and absolutely no fun for the mouse.
Chapter Twenty-six
They were in the car and pulling out of the parking lot before Jake sprang his question. “It’s really not a big thing. Well, maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. I don’t know. I just don’t know how you’ll feel about this, and it’s highly unusual that I would ask you.”
“I’m sure it’s okay,” Meri said, her patience wearing thin.
“You have the freedom to tell me I’m crazy,” Jake began.
Do I also have the freedom to tell you you’re driving me crazy?
“When I saw you in the skit last night, I had an idea. Do you remember my saying we still needed to cast the part of the Maiden of the Waterfall? I was wondering if you would consider testing for the part.”
Meredith looked at him with little emotional response. It was possible she had used up all her fiery emotions in trying to deny her feelings for the past half hour.
“What’s involved?”
“You would need to come to the studio tomorrow or the next day and read the part. We’ll tape you and run it past the casting director. The part isn’t very large, but it’s crucial we get someone right away because we start to film in a week. The scenes with the Maiden of the Waterfall are in the first filming sequence.”
“Sure,” Meredith said with a shrug.
“You’ll do it?” Jake looked at her and back at the road. “That’s great! Of course, I can’t guarantee you’ll get the part since the casting director has final say, but I think you have the right look and the right voice. You proved last night that you can act. I think it might be a good match.”
“What time should I come to the studio?”
“I can have Chad pick you up. Or better yet, how’s your schedule tomorrow after twelve-thirty?”
“Open. I teach my last workshop at eleven.”
“That’s when mine is scheduled, too,” Jake said. “This will work out great. I’ll take you with me after we finish our workshops, and we can get you back to the hotel whenever you need to. The screen test should only take an hour or so.”
“Fine,” Meredith said, still unemotional about the invitation.
She remained unemotional for the next twelve hours. Jake dropped her off at the hotel at almost eleven. She thanked him, and they agreed to meet in the lobby tomorrow as soon as their workshops were over. Meredith returned to her room and read manuscripts until two-thirty in the morning. She made it to her first morning appointment at nine-thirty a little groggy and met with people until her workshop at eleven.
It was easy to pour herself into her topic, “Learning from Your Mistakes,” since she felt she had made countless mistakes with Jake. As she told the students in her workshop, “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Just don’t be a fool and make the same mistake twice.” She wondered if that applied to relationships as well as publishing.
Could she possibly erase all her crazy rantings of the night before and start fresh with Jake today? She had to believe that was possible; otherwise everything else in her workshop would also be false.
She wouldn’t be a fool and make the same mistake twice. She would calm her emotions when she was around Jake and remind herself over and over that it was merely a business arrangement. They met in the lobby, and Jake hurried her to the car, joking that he didn’t want any of her devoted students to follow her. He chatted all the way to the studio about the part of the Maiden of the Waterfall, saying his explanation of the background would help her prepare for the role.
“Do you remember the daughter of Ramandu in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader?” Jake asked. “Her father was a star at rest. Every morning the birds would bring him a fire berry from the Valley in the Sun. He would eat the berry and become younger.”
“I don’t exactly remember that part,” Meredith admitted.
“His daughter ended up marrying Prince Caspian. She welcomed Prince Caspian and his crew on their journey to the Utter East. A great banquet table was spread for them.”
“Yes, I remember. The three Narnian lords had fallen asleep at the table.”
“That’s right. Think of the daughter of Ramandu when you read for this part. The costume will be a long, flowing blue gown with sparkles. Just like a waterfall.”
“Hence the name, Maiden of the Waterfall.”
“Exactly,” Jake said. “I should have told you to wear what you had on last night. That was a perfect look for this screen test.”
Meredith now wore a classic business suit: linen skirt, silk blouse, and matching linen jacket. It was the color of butter and didn’t show off her hair and eyes the way the turquoise outfit had. But the buttery vanilla color matched how she felt while riding to the studio with Jake. Bland. Neutral. Inoffensive to anyone.
At the studio Meredith was shown into a small soundproof room. She was given half an hour to read over the two pages of dialogue and was offered a bottle of spring water. When everything was ready, she stood in front of the video camera and read the part for the cameraman, with Jake standing right beside him. Jake kept smiling, offering nonverbal praise. Meredith had a hard time getting into the part. She stopped the test before they were halfway through.
“I’m sorry. I need another minute here.”
“No problem,” Jake said.
The camera stopped, the red light went off, and someone walked in the door. It was Chad. He had a message for Jake.
“I’ll be right back,” Jake promised. “Go ahead if you’re ready.”
Meredith read the first few lines again and tried to clear her thoughts. She didn’t really feel nervous. She didn’t feel much of anything. Only relieved that Jake was no longer in the room watching her.
“Ready to roll?” the cameraman asked.
She nodded.
“From the top. And action,” he said.
A short man stepped in front of Meredith and held up a board saying, “Meredith Graham, Maiden of the Waterfall, Take Two.” With a brisk slap of the board he stepped away, and the camera moved in closer.
“Hail, young traveler,” Meredith began, feeling freer and more into the part. “From where have you come?”
A reader sitting in a chair to the side read the part of Young Heart. Meredith allowed her facial expressions and body movements to reflect her response to what Young Heart was telling her.
“Then you have chosen well. Enter now into the Vale of Peace. Your journey ahead will hold many more adventures. You must be rested before you can embrace them.”
She made an elegant, welcoming gesture with her arm and open hand. “Come, Young Heart. Drink of the living water until your soul is quenched. Eat of the bounty prepared here for you.”
Young Heart then questioned how he could know if this was yet another trap like the many he had already faced.
“You cannot know,” the Maiden of the Waterfall responded gently. “You may only choose to enter or be on your way. Belief offers no guarantees until after the traveler has entered in wholeheartedly.”
She read for another five minutes, feeling captivated by this character she was portraying. It suddenly mattered very much that she get the part.
“And cut,” the cameraman said after she delivered the last line. He stepped from behind the camera and said, “That was good. The boss will like this one.”
Meredith gathered her things, still feeling her heart in a flutter from having put so much into the reading. She chatted with the woman who was sitting in the chair and had been reading the lines to her.
“Should I wait here?” Meredith asked.
“Might as well. Jake will be back eventually. Have you done a lot of this?”
“What? Acting? No. None.”
“Really?” The woman in the chair seemed impressed. “You have the right look and the right voice for this part. I think you can feel pretty confident that you’ll get it.”
Jake hurried in the door with a clipboard in his hand. “Are you about ready to roll in here?”
“Already got it,” the cameraman said, nodding at the camera. “When do you want to see it?”
“Get it ready for Jan, and we’ll view it up in her office.” He turned to Meredith. “That was quick.”
Meredith nodded.
“Do you want to go on back to the conference center, or can you stick around here for a while?”
She checked her watch. “I’d better go. I have a stack of manuscripts to read before my evening appointments.”
“Next conference,” Jake said, stepping closer, “tell them you can’t read manuscripts. You’re only there to teach. That’s what I did.”
“Sure,” Meredith said with a tease edging into her voice. “You’re not an acquisitions editor. That’s why they invited me to come. I buy books, as you well know. I can’t make any demands and say I’m a famous actor like you.”
“Not yet,” Jake said, giving her a wink, which she alone noticed. “We’ll decide after we view the tape if you’re going to be a famous actress or not.”
Chad drove Meredith back to the hotel. He spoke three words the whole way. This time she asked him to leave the windows up and the air conditioner on. She also asked if he would mind turning off the radio. She had brought manuscripts with her, and she wanted to do some reading. Chad complied, but she could tell he wasn’t happy about it.
Meredith read through two manuscripts on the ride back and marked her comments on the editor’s form that accompanied each manuscript when it was returned to the conferee through the central station. The system was a good one, and Meredith found she wasn’t as overwhelmed as she had thought at first. Fifteen more manuscripts waited for her back in the room. If she read for about four hours tonight, she could probably finish them all. Then she would meet with her next round of appointments, starting at nine in the morning and going through one fifteen.
Changing into shorts and a T-shirt, Meredith hauled a chair out onto her tiny balcony so she could sun her white legs. Just as she settled in and picked up the first manuscript, the phone rang.
“Hello. Is this the Meredith Graham?”
She recognized Jake’s voice but wasn’t used to his chipper greeting. “Hi, Jake.”
He paused before saying, “I think I have good news for you. You got the part!”
“Really?” She had been trying not to think about it since she was hoping for it, and that made it all the more probable, in her estimation, that it wouldn’t work out. She knew all about how deferred hope makes the heart sick.
“We’ll need you to come down tomorrow and get fitted by Muriel in wardrobe. I should have thought of it today to save you the additional trip.”
“That’s okay. I’ll be free most of tomorrow afternoon, and my plane doesn’t leave until seven-thirty tomorrow night.”
“Muriel is only here until four tomorrow. Should I send Chad over for you?”
Meredith sat down quickly on the edge of the bed. The news hit her, and she felt a little weak kneed. “No, I’ll rent a car. That way I can drive myself to the airport. I don’t think Chad wants to see me ever again.”
“Papers need to be signed, of course, and Gina in makeup wants some Polaroids.”
“Papers?”
“Your contract.”
Suddenly the roles were reversed in their relationship, and Meri was the one feeling at a loss. “Do I need an agent?”
“Do you have one?”
“No, but I know a few.”
“It’s up to you. It’s a standard contract for nonunion actors. For the size of your role and your experience, I’m afraid you won’t have a lot of negotiating power, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
Meredith started to laugh and flopped onto her back, laughing at the ceiling where she had written that nasty letter to Jake a few nights ago. All her fierce words had been erased.
“No, Jake, I’m not thinking of negotiating anything. This is all so out of the blue. I didn’t expect it to work out.”
“It’s a nice surprise for both of us,” Jake said. “We start to film in Glenbrooke on Monday.”
“Monday!”
“Yes. We need you there for at least two days, but plan on three or four since it’s the first few days of filming. A lot can go wrong.”
“Okay. Got it. Tomorrow I’ll drive to the studio about two o’clock, I’ll meet with Muriel, sign some papers, let Gina take some Polaroid shots of me, and get myself to LAX by six. It could happen.”
“It could and it will. You’re a lifesaver, Meri. Your screen test was perfect.”
He had never called her Meri before, and she wasn’t sure she liked it as much as when he said Meredith, and it rolled off his tongue.
“I like this character. She’s going to be fun to play.”
“I think so, too,” Jake said. “Now, how about going out to dinner with me? We can celebrate.”
It was Meredith’s turn to pause. A waterfall of thoughts and feelings cascaded over her, nearly drowning her on the bed. If she didn’t finish reading all the manuscripts tonight, she would never be able to leave the conference by one o’clock tomorrow. She was flattered that he wanted to celebrate with her, but what if it turned out to be an emotional mess like last night at the Cheesecake Factory?
“I’d better not,” she said slowly.
Jake waited.
“I have a huge stack of manuscripts to read, and I really have to do them tonight.”
“I see.” The disappointment was evident in his voice. “I hope they go quickly for you.”
“Thanks,” Meredith said, biting her lower lip and wondering if she had made the right choice.
“I’ll see you at the studio, then, tomorrow. Do you remember how to get here?”
“Yes, Valley View exit, right?”
“Right.”
“I’ll see you sometime close to two o’clock,” Meri said. “Bye, Jake.”
“Good-bye, Meredith.” For the first time, his farewell sounded sad.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Meredith read like a crazy woman. She ordered in room service, missed the evening session, and kept reading and writing her editor’s comments until well after midnight. Of all the ideas she had seen during the conference, only one proposal sounded like a book G. H. Terrison Publishing might be interested in. Meredith wrote her comments on that one last. She asked the writer to make a few changes and then send the revised copy to Shawn in the Chicago office.
She felt wonderful having all the manuscripts now in a tall “out” stack. At home the out stack grew this tall, but more were always coming in.
She fell into a deep sleep and dreamed of waterfalls and a fair maiden rowing across the lake in the same boat she and Jake had shared for their morning picnic. When the alarm sounded the next morning, Meredith tried to pull her dream with her into the waking world. But like all things made of feathery-light vapors, her dream fled before it could acclimate to the harsh realities of the world. The sweet images slipped back to her dream world.
It occurred to her in the shower that Jake had not appeared in her dream, at least to the best of her recollection. Did that mean he didn’t have access to the garden places deep inside, as
she thought he did? Had Jake only seemed wonderful and intriguing because she willed it to be so? Maybe nothing had been there to begin with, no chemical reaction even.
All the analyzing gave her a headache.
Dressing quickly and packing her clothes while her hair dried, Meredith realized she was going to be late for her nine o’clock appointment. There was nothing she could do about it. She hoped she could make up the time elsewhere in the morning and not have to reschedule anyone for the afternoon.
By the time she arrived downstairs in the meeting area, it was 9:10. She saw a small woman sitting alone at the table that had Meredith’s name on the placard. With sincere apologies, Meredith met the older woman and shook her hand. When the woman said her name, Meredith thought it sounded familiar. Then she remembered.
“I have something encouraging to tell you,” she said. “Of all the manuscripts I’ve read here this week, yours was the only one I thought might be a match for our publishing house. I have it right here.”
The woman looked as if she might cry as Meredith handed her the manila envelope with the editor’s notes on the cover. “I’ve made a few suggestions. I’d like you to make those changes and then send it to the editor I listed for you. Be sure to include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. This is no guarantee that we’ll buy your book, but it’s a lovely story, and I think it has a lot of potential.”
“Thank you,” the woman said, rising and bowing to Meredith. It appeared to be her Asian custom. Meredith nodded her head back and congratulated the woman again for her fine work.
“Thank you,” the woman said again. “You have given me hope.”
As she left, Meredith imagined how hard it must have been for a woman of her age to come to a conference like this and try to beat the odds of getting a book published. It did Meri’s heart good to know that at least one person would leave the conference with some hope. Hope was a good thing.
The appointments continued, one right after the other until almost noon, when Meredith had a fifteen-minute break. She went to the rest room and then grabbed a candy bar from the machine by the phone. The next three appointments went by like clockwork. At one fifteen, she was checked out of the hotel and sitting in the rental car she had arranged to have waiting for her. Everything was clicking right along.
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