“Look at that. You got double the protection, now,” he teases as he takes a seat.
Wow! I love this Haden. It’s sad his mom had to pass away for him to become the person in front of me. My heart aches at the thought that maybe he is trying to mask his pain this way.
“Right! You’d think I was of royal blood or something.” I smile.
Haden takes it upon himself to order our old usual breakfast, and the memories that flood into my mind from our past make me want to cry. God, I really loved him, but when I caught him cheating on me, it demolished that feeling very quickly.
“So, what have you been up to? Did you not go to nursing school at all?”
Oh shit, I forgot he didn’t know. “Nope. I’m doing online business management courses because, let’s face it, I’d be failing all of my courses if I weren’t doing something online. We go on lockdown way too much, and dad would worry if I lived on a campus. Even though he still acts pissed when people talk about my sudden change of mind.”
He seems to understand my reasoning because he drops it. This is what I miss the most about the relationship we had. He always understood the lockdown process. He hated it, and he always voiced that he did, and ultimately, it is what ruined the bond we had. When a person is neglected, he or she will seek to find that connection with someone else. I don’t give a shit if I am young, and have exactly one relationship under my belt. I know that people crave closeness with another person. It is the main reason my dad gave in and fell in love with Storm. She strayed from their friendship because she was in love with him, and it hurting her to be friends. When she started to back away slowly, my dad freaked. He craved, desired, and needed that bond with her, whether he wanted it or not. His heart failed at closing off towards her. She won, hands down, and the saying, all’s fair in love and war is true. He battled long and hard before surrendering to her.
“It’s really good to be talking with you again,” he mumbles quietly as our food is placed on the table.
“It honestly is, isn’t it?” I respond and then tell the waitress thank you.
“I see Shadow’s feelings about me haven’t changed,” he teases as he forks at his pancakes.
I groan and twist my body to look. The scowl on his face forces a laugh to bubble from my throat. He has no reason to be looking at Haden like that. What happened between Haden and me is in the past. I quit dwelling on things months ago. Being friends with Piper is amazing because she teaches you how to enjoy life the best you can no matter what and she does it without even knowing she is doing it. She helps the family loosen up all the time.
“I’ve changed a lot over the past six months,” I say as I take a bite of my pancakes.
His blue eyes search mine to see if I am telling the truth. He was always good at reading me.
“I don’t think you’ve changed, babe. I think you’re growing up, learning yourself.”
See. He’s so perceptive when it comes to me, and my heart squeezes when he calls me babe. The little butthead still has an effect on me. Who knew?
“It’s good to talk with you, Haden. I hate that it had to happen under these circumstances though.”
He takes a drink of his orange juice, sets it down, and wipes his mouth before speaking again.
“I know. God, we were together a long time, weren’t we?”
“Since sixth grade. Wow, that’s like what,” I count in my head, “shit, six or so years. Seven school years we were together.”
I hadn’t realized it had been that long until now. Our relationship was there, and our friendship was the glue that probably held us together that long. In a way, he will always be my best friend. He may have broken my heart, but if I ever need him, deep down I have always known that he will be there for me. I guess it has taken a lot of maturing to realize that. I still have a lot more growing to do, but at least I can see everything for what it was now.
“Tatiana, believe me when I say, I’m truly sorry for messing it all up. I was selfish. I broke the trust you had in me and I’ll forever regret that.”
My hand slides across the table and laces with one of his. “I’d like us to be friends again, Haden. I really would. You’re the only one from my childhood that understands my life, and I miss having someone to talk to about it. I know that’s selfish of me, but in a way, I need someone on the outside that understands it all. Someone besides my family.”
His thumb rubs against the back of my hand, and that single movement reminds me of the comfort I have always felt with him.
“No, I get it. In a way, you’re the only one that really knows me too. We’re tragic.” He laughs lightheartedly.
“We are.” I chuckle.
We banter back and forth while we eat, and when it’s time to say goodbye, we promise to hang out more before he goes back to school. It feels good to have him back in my life. It’s almost like he’s a safety net for my feelings. He was always a good ear for when I needed an outlet. The end of our relationship was when everything went so darn sour between us.
I ignore the glares from Shadow when Smokey follows me to my car. The time spent with Haden was enough to make me forget all about him. Knowing this makes me sad, but relieved, at the same time. I had been building such a great friendship with Shadow and my feelings got in the way of that. It saddens me to realize that, with the right company, I can forget he exists, at least for a little while, but in all reality, I know it is necessary for me to move on.
I’m not ready to go back to the compound yet, so I tell Smokey he has to go to the mall with me. I need space, and the club is not a place I can get much of that. He’s not happy with another detour, but he really doesn’t have a say in the matter. As long as I have him as my escort, I can stay out late and do what I want. He’ll get over it.
***
Chapter Fourteen
Shadow
(Part One)
I pace back and forth in frustration, anger, and horniness. What the fuck am I doing on the floor where her room is? Why? Why the fuck am I here? I can think of only one reason. I want her. I want her very badly.
Seeing her with that asshole at Ma and Pop’s, where I had escaped to enjoy my motherfucking coffee and egg sandwich, lit my ass on fire. It fueled me with an anger I didn’t realize existed inside of me. The demons clawed to get out, begging me to release them so they could unleash my pent up wrath on that little bastard. What was she thinking? That fucker cheated on her repeatedly. Fuck, who knows how many times and she could talk with him as if nothing ever happened? She could eat fucking breakfast with the little prick?
A growl escapes my lips as my pacing increases, and the anger boils the blood beneath my skin. And that hug? I thought I would come unglued, watching them embrace like that. I’ve honestly never been more pissed off in my life.
Could this be deeper? Could I actually want more than friendship with her? I shake my head as I stalk back and forth through the hall. That can’t be it. She couldn’t handle the demons lurking inside of me. I would not only ruin her. I would destroy her, and all the good that lies beneath her light blue eyes.
“Shadow?”
Jesus, fuck! I didn’t even hear her come up. She has me so far off of my fucking game, it is unreal. They call me Shadow for a fucking reason. This sneaky bullshit is my job.
“Shadow,” she repeats in frustration.
FUCK!
I grab her arm and drag her to her door. “Open it,” I growl.
I’m acting like a fucking animal right now. This isn’t me. Everything I do is about self control. I’m in charge of things that deal directly with me.
“Shadow… you’re acting weird.”
I jerk the key from her hand, slide it in the lock, and turn. After the tumbler clicks, I pull it out, push open the door, and shove her inside as I slam the door shut behind us.
“Drop your purse, Tea,” I command.
Her eyebrows pull together.
“Drop your goddamn purse. Don’t make me repeat myself
.”
The purse falls to the floor as I sling my shades onto her dresser. I tear my cut off and let it drop to the floor. I don’t have time for niceties. My demons beg me to rip into her, to punish her for something she doesn’t even know she did wrong. My dark eyes narrow at her as I pull my belt from its loops.
“You have fifteen seconds to strip down to nothing but your bare skin. Time starts now.”
When she makes no move to take her clothes off, I fold my belt in my hands and snap it. The sound echoes throughout the room. “The more you misbehave, the more pain you’ll receive, Tea.”
She has wanted this for so long, and now that I am about to give it to her, she acts hesitant and timid about the entire thing.
“I’m not asking again.”
Tatiana’s eyes widen when she realizes this isn’t another one of my head games. This is me, about to own her. This is my dark side she has always wanted to taste. She kicks off her shoes as her shaking hands lower her skirt. Her peach colored skin calls to me. The things I am going to do with that fine body excite me. When her skirt is pooled at her feet, I peel out of my boots and jeans, never taking my eyes off her. A growl of ownership rises in my throat as my shirt joins the other clothes on the floor. When she lifts her blouse over her head, her peaked nipples beg my mouth to latch onto them with my teeth. All the will power I have left evaporates. It escapes me completely.
“Baby oil,” I hiss. “Get me some, now!”
Tatiana’s blonde hair bounces as she runs to her bathroom and returns with baby oil in her hand.
“Toss it on the floor. If I decide to go easy on you, it might come in handy.” I lift a finger and motion for her to come near me, and her steps don’t falter. When she stands in front of me, I swipe her hair behind her shoulder. “What’s my color, baby?”
She gasps ever so lightly, bringing a devilish smirk to my face. “Your color or your scene color?”
Perceptive little lamb, isn’t she? “Mine,” I growl as I jerk her against my body. I run my nose along her jaw and whisper into her hair. “Mine.” I breathe.
Her head tilts to the side as she answers. “Black, god, your color is black,” she pants.
I pull back and stare at her. Get a fucking grip. She knows too much about you already. Take back control!
“Scene name,” I growl.
Tatiana’s body jerks backwards at the change in my tone of voice.
“Sage,” she growls back at me, earning her an extra welt on that delicious skin of hers. I don’t know if I like it, but it’ll do for now.
“You are to call me Tavis and nothing else.” I don’t ask if she understands. In a way, I am testing her, testing the knowledge she thinks she already has. “If I need to stop, you call black, not red.” Again, I don’t ask. “So… you think you’re a masochist, do you?” I murmur as I push her body slowly towards the bed.
“I don’t think. I know.” She glares at me.
Another strike is added onto her long list. “We’ll see,” I say as I jerk my head for her to climb onto the bed. “Sit on the edge, lie back, and stretch one leg to each post at the foot of the bed.” I am about to see exactly how much pain she thinks she can handle. See how toned her body is for rigorous activities. When her pale, pink, polished toes rest on each pole and her face contorts a smidge, the evil bastard inside of me smiles in victory. As I move away, her eyes follow my toned chest while I open her closet door to look for anything I might use to tie her ankles. I chuckle when I see scarves hanging from a hook. She is making this entirely way too easy on me. I don’t bother shutting it behind me as I walk back to her, fisting pieces of fabric between my fingers.
I wrap three of the colored scarves around my neck and wink at her as my fingers brush at one ankle. Her naked body rises and falls rapidly in anticipation of my next move, but she has no idea I’m playing with her. This is nothing like what she is about to experience.
When my long fingers clasp around her foot and jerk hard, she lets out a yelp. “Quiet.” I chuckle as I tie the silk around her ankle twice, before bringing the fabric to the pole and securing her to it. I stride to the other side and repeat the process. The demons chuckle as her thigh muscles pulsate from the stretch. Satisfied the ties are tight enough that she can’t pull loose, but slack enough for her to do what I need, I step back and admire her glistening pussy.
I snap my fingers as I bark at her. “Give me your hands, Sage!” I move forward to grasp her hands in mine, and slowly pull her up as she whines. “This is nothin, Darlin’.” I drawl because it isn’t. If she thinks her muscles are pulling right now, she has no idea what they are going to feel like in about five minutes. After the fabric slides as far as it can go against the skin of her ankles, and her feet are planted on the mattress, I climb up on the bed. I stand behind her and place my chin in the crook of her neck as she shivers against me. “Are you scared?”
“No, Tavis.” Her body leans against mine.
Good girl. I don’t do rewards, but if I did, she would have earned one. “You should be,” I whisper into her ear as my hand trails lightly down her arm. I tilt back and ram my cock into the globes of her ass. “I’ll ask again in a moment.” When I move away from her body, she whimpers in protest, when really, she should be crying for release. She’s a brave little morsel. I tie both arms to the poles, jump off, and move around the bed to see my handiwork. Not a bad job for being without my belongings.
She works her wrists, and the demons inside me smile in triumph as she yanks and pulls. “Okay… so, maybe this isn’t all that comfortable,” she murmurs in a small, quiet voice.
My stance changes as I spread my legs, cross my arms over my naked chest, and glare at her. “I thought you could handle pain, Sage,” I rumble. “If you can’t handle this…” I trail off, and act as if I’m going to leave. This is absolutely nothing close to what I want to do to her. I hope to fuck she hasn’t been teasing me. That will only anger me beyond control.
“No, no, I can handle it,” she protests.
I chuckle, turn back around, and smirk at her. “What are you feeling?”
Her lips tilt into a seductive smile because she knows what I want. She knows the answer I crave. “Pain.”
Uncrossing my arms, I stalk towards her and run my nose through the apex of her thighs, forcing her to moan. The sound of her melodic voice makes the skin of my balls tighten. It’s time for me to cause some pain and pleasure.
***
Tatiana
When I found him pacing along the hallway, I never in a million years thought I’d end up tied, standing upright, to my bedposts. The silk pulls at my skin, and my muscles feel as if they will tear at any moment, and yet, even though it hurts so bad, it hurts so good. The longer I stay like this, the harder it burns, and the harder it burns, the more my juices flow uncontrollably down my legs. Jesus, who knew?
“Well, what do we have here,” he mumbles into my pussy. The rumbles of his voice vibrate against my clit, and I moan. “You can’t be getting off, darlin’. I need you fucking dry for this shit.”
Oh, god. I can’t help it, I want to scream, but deep down, I am scared. I refuse to show that weakness. I can’t. I want him. So, I do the only thing I can do. I bow my head. “I’ll try better, Tavis.” God, that name makes me shiver.
“Good girl.”
I shut my eyes at the sound of his drawl. There is no way I am going to be able to get through this without coming. The sound of his voice makes me want to squirt all over his tongue as he runs his nose up and down my lips. When he moves away from my thighs, I want to cry out in protest, but I don’t. This is his show, and I so desperately want to take part in it.
“Open your eyes, Sage.”
I do as I’m told, and when the light from a flickering candle bounces in my vision, my eyes dart to his, and the evil smirk I have come to love, lines his gorgeous face. How did I not even hear him light that? His words that he is dangerous play over and over again in my head.
He
was trying to warn you, dumbass, and now look, the feel of his nose on your pussy makes you catatonic!
I bite my bottom lip, nodding that I give my permission. That is the reason he had me open my eyes. It is then I realize we aren’t doing a scene. He is testing my every limit, and that makes my heart pound against my chest a million miles an hour. Oh god. I look frantically around my room, trying to take inventory of all things he could use against me to cause pain, but I am coming up with a short list. When he chuckles, it breaks me out of my own head.
“Nothing in here is gonna save you, darlin’,” he cackles.
My eyes dance to the candle and watch the wax melt and pool around the wick. He’s letting it build, and the thought of hot wax pouring all over my skin causes the hairs on my body to stand at full alert. Shadow sets the candle on my dresser and moves to the door. Where the hell does he think he is going? Oh no, he is not leaving me here like this.
He opens the door and I panic. “Shadow, no! You can’t leave me tied the fuck up!”
The door slams shut with him still in the room. “What the fuck did you call me?”
My eyes widen with his tone. Shit!
“Let me tell you somethin’. We may not be in a scene right now, but I gave two direct fucking orders. Repeat them for me now!” he roars.
I gulp and release air. “To call you Tavis and to use the color black.”
Everything in me wants to argue that he didn’t necessarily order me to use the color, but the look on his handsome, mean face keeps that argument locked down inside me.
“Yes, now shut the fuck up, for once.”
Why is that turning me on, instead of pissing me off? While I am left questioning myself, he opens the door wide, right when Smokey walks by.
Oh, fuck me sideways, really?
“What in the fuck?” Smokey questions, doing a double take.
How embarrassing is this shit.
Shadowing Me (Breakneck Series #3) Page 9