Damn it, spending the night with Jaxon hadn’t been the problem—it had been waking up in his arms this morning and the things that had followed that made her cringe with embarrassment every time she so much as thought about it! Which had been often during the half an hour or so she had spent in her bedroom.
Thankfully the maid had been up to Stazy’s bedroom during her absence downstairs, so the bed had been neatly remade and the room tidied by the time she returned from talking with her grandfather. Unfortunately, as Stazy had crossed the bedroom to take her suitcase out of the wardrobe and place it on top of the bed, that neatness had done very little to stop her from remembering each and every detail of what had happened here between herself and Jaxon.
The joy of kissing and caressing him. The pleasure of being kissed and caressed by him. The unimagined ecstasy of the mind-blowing orgasm he had so easily taken her to.
Even now Stazy could feel the ultra-sensitivity between her legs in the aftermath of her orgasm. Her first ever orgasm.
And her last if it resulted in her not only feeling physically vulnerable but emotionally too!
Although Jaxon’s abrupt departure—without that promised talk between the two of them—would seem to imply that he had no interest in furthering a relationship between the two of them, so—
‘May I come in …?’
Stazy looked up sharply at the sound of her grandfather’s cajoling voice. ‘That depends on whether or not you’re going to lie to me again.’ She raised censorious brows.
He gave a self-conscious wince as he stood in the open doorway. ‘I have explained the reason for that, darling.’
She nodded abruptly. ‘And it was a completely unacceptable explanation. I’m no longer a child you need to protect from the truth, Gramps!’
‘So Jaxon has already pointed out to me,’ Geoffrey acknowledged heavily.
Stazy stiffened defensively just at hearing Jaxon’s name, let alone wondering in what context he might have made that remark. ‘Was that before or after he left on his Harley?’
‘Obviously before.’ Her grandfather grimaced before glancing at the open suitcase sitting on top of her bed. ‘What’s going on, Stazy …?’
She drew in a deep breath even as she gave a dismissive shrug. ‘I thought I might leave too, later this afternoon.’
His gaze sharpened. ‘Leave? But—’
‘You’ve said yourself that the danger is over now and your wound isn’t serious,’ Stazy interrupted firmly. ‘And now that Jaxon has left there seems little point in my not joining the dig in Iraq as originally planned.’
The fact that she had taken out her suitcase before she even saw Jaxon leave wasn’t something her grandfather needed to know! Even if Jaxon hadn’t decided to leave, how could she possibly stay on at Bromley House after the events of earlier this morning? There was no way she could continue calmly working on the details for the screenplay with Jaxon as if nothing had happened between them.
Stazy was extremely reluctant to delve too deeply into her own emotions and find out exactly what that ‘something’ meant to her …
‘Jaxon hasn’t left completely, darling. He’s just gone for a ride on his motorbike after being confined here for the past few days,’ her grandfather told her gently.
‘Oh.’ Stazy felt the colour drain from her cheeks.
Geoffrey gave her a searching glance. ‘Is there something you want to tell me, darling …?’
The very last thing Stazy wanted to do was to confide in her grandfather about making love with Jaxon this morning! There was no way she could tell another man of the intimacies she and Jaxon had shared, and there wasn’t the remotest possibility of her ever talking to anyone about how those intimacies had resulted in her first ever earth-shattering orgasm!
Although she might not have any choice if, as her grandfather said, Jaxon had only gone for a ride on his motorbike and intended returning to Bromley House later this morning.
‘No, nothing,’ she answered her grandfather abruptly as she carefully avoided meeting his piercing blue gaze. ‘As Jaxon isn’t here at the moment I think I might follow his example and go out—go for a run along the beach,’ she added lightly. ‘We can discuss later whether or not there’s any point in our bothering to continue with the research.’
Her grandfather looked puzzled. ‘What do you mean?’
Stazy shrugged. ‘You said the unauthorised biography on Granny was the reason this man from the past was able to track you down, so just think how much more exposed you will be if Jaxon goes ahead with the making of his film.’
‘There is even more reason now for Jaxon to make his film, darling,’ Geoffrey insisted firmly. ‘Don’t you see. It’s the only way to dispel the myth and show Anastasia for the true heroine that she was,’ he added when she still looked unconvinced.
Yes, Stazy did see the logic of that. Unfortunately. She had just been clinging to the hope—the slim hope, admittedly—that this recent scare might result in her grandfather rethinking his decision.
She gave an impatient shake of her head. ‘As I said, we can all talk about this later—when Jaxon has returned from his ride and I’ve been for my run.’
Geoffrey nodded slowly. ‘That would seem to be the best idea.’ He turned to leave before turning back again. ‘Are you and Jaxon still able to continue working together …?’ he prompted shrewdly.
Stazy felt the colour warm her cheeks. Surely Jaxon hadn’t—? No, of course he wouldn’t. ‘I can’t see any reason why not, can you?’ she dismissed lightly.
Her grandfather shrugged. ‘You both seem more than a little edgy this morning.’
‘Is that surprising when we’ve been cooped up here together for two days?’
And nights … Let’s not forget the nights!
As if Stazy ever could.
‘Geoffrey has gone to his bedroom to rest for a while.’
Stazy looked up from where she sat in the library, reading one of her grandmother’s diaries. Well. ‘reading’ was something of a misnomer; even she knew she had only been giving the appearance of doing so. Because inwardly her thoughts and emotions were so churned up Stazy couldn’t have concentrated on absorbing any of her grandmother’s entries if her life had depended upon it!
Sitting down to eat lunch with her grandfather and Jaxon earlier had been something of an ordeal—so much so that Stazy had finally excused herself after eating none of the first course and proceeding only to pick at the main course for ten minutes or so, leaving the two men at the table to continue talking as she hurried from the room with the intention of escaping to the library.
She and Jaxon hadn’t so much as exchanged a word during the whole of that excruciatingly awkward meal. That wasn’t to say Stazy hadn’t been completely aware of him as the three of them had sat at the small round table where she and Jaxon had eaten dinner together alone the past two evenings.
In the same room where Stazy had wrapped her legs around Jaxon’s waist as he had pressed her up against the china cabinet and kissed her.
Her expression was guarded now as she looked across the room at him. ‘Rest is probably the best thing for him.’
And what, Jaxon wondered as he came into the room and quietly closed the door behind him, did Stazy consider was the best thing for the two of them?
Logic said they should talk about what had happened between them this morning. Emotion told him that Stazy’s feelings were so strung out at the moment that even to broach that conversation would only result in another meltdown—something she definitely wouldn’t thank him for.
Because the two of them had spent the night in the same bed? Because of the intimacies they had shared with each other this morning? Stazy bitterly regretting the lapse?
Jaxon would like to think that wasn’t the reason, but he still smarted at the way she had tried to push him out of the bedroom before anyone discovered him there. Admittedly, her grandfather had just flown in by helicopter, but even so.
Jaxon had ha
d plenty of time to think things over during his long ride earlier. He had come to know Stazy much better these past three days, and knew without being told that with hindsight she would view her uninhibited response to him this morning as a weakness. A weakness she had no intention of repeating.
His mouth thinned and his lids narrowed as she seemed to recoil against the back of her chair when he crossed the room in long, silent strides. He looked down at her frustratedly. ‘Do you want me to make my excuses to Geoffrey and tell him that I have to leave unexpectedly?’
Her face was expressionless as she returned his gaze. ‘Why on earth would I want to you to do that?’
‘Maybe because you obviously can’t stand even being in the same room with me any longer?’ he reasoned heavily.
‘Don’t be ridiculous, Jaxon,’ Stazy dismissed scathingly, inwardly knowing he was being nothing of the kind; she did find being in the same room with him totally overwhelming. The intimacies the two of them had shared this morning made it difficult for her even to look at him without remembering exactly where and how his lips and tongue had pleasured her this morning …
‘I don’t understand you, Stazy,’ he bit out bleakly. ‘We’re two consenting adults who chose to—’
‘I know exactly what we did, Jaxon!’ She stood up so suddenly that her chair tipped over backwards and crashed against one of the bookcases. ‘Damn. Damn, damn, damn!’ she muttered impatiently as she bent to set the chair back onto its four legs before glaring up at him. ‘I don’t want to talk about this now, Jaxon—’
‘Will you ever want to talk about it?’
She gave a self-conscious shiver. ‘Preferably not! ‘
Jaxon breathed hard. ‘You’re behaving like some outraged innocent that I robbed of her virginity! ‘
Maybe. Because in every way that mattered that was exactly how Stazy felt.
She had been completely in control of the situation when she had chosen her previous two lovers so carefully. And she had been physically in control too. The loss of her virginity to her university lecturer had been perfunctory at best, the second experience four years ago even more so.
The rawness, the sheer carnality of Jaxon’s lovemaking this morning, hadn’t allowed her to keep any of those barriers in place. He had stripped her down, emotionally as well as physically, and in doing so had sent all her barriers crashing to the floor, leaving her feeling vulnerable and exposed.
Oh, she didn’t believe Jaxon had deliberately set out to do that to her. In fact she was sure that he had no idea of exactly what he had done. But, whether Jaxon knew it or not, that was exactly what had happened. And Stazy needed space and time in order to rebuild those emotional barriers.
She forced herself to relax, and her expression was coolly dismissive as she looked up at him. ‘Is it being an actor that makes you so melodramatic, Jaxon?’ she drawled derisively.
‘It isn’t a question of melodrama—’ ‘Of course it is,’ she said easily. ‘You’re reading things into this situation that simply aren’t there. Yes, our behaviour this morning makes it a little awkward for us to continue working together, but—as I assured my grandfather earlier—I’m more than willing to do my part so that we finish the research as quickly as possible. After which time we can both get back to our own totally different lives.’ She looked up at him challengingly.
At this moment the only thing Jaxon felt more than willing to do was carry out his threat to put Stazy over his knee and spank some sense into her! Or at least spank her until there was a return of the warm and sensual Stazy he had been with this morning!
Not going to happen any time soon, he acknowledged as he recognised the same cool detachment in her expression that had been there when they’d first met just over six weeks ago.
‘Shall we get on …?’ She pulled her chair out and resumed her seat at the table before looking up at him expectantly.
Jaxon looked down at her exasperatedly. He felt the return of all his earlier frustrations with this situation, appreciating how it had all seemed so much simpler when he’d been riding the country roads on the back of the Harley.
Obviously, he had reasoned, Stazy had been understandably dismayed by the unexpected arrival of her grandfather. But once she got over her surprise Jaxon was sure the two of them would be able to sit down and talk about the situation like the two rational human beings that they were.
Somewhere in all that thinking Jaxon had forgotten to take into account that Stazy as a rational human being could also be extremely annoying!
To the point where he now felt more like wringing her delicate little neck than attempting to talk with her rationally!
Had he ever met a more frustrating woman?
Or a more sensually satisfying one …?
Jaxon had made love with dozens of women during the past fifteen years, but he knew that none of them had aroused him to the fever pitch that Stazy had this morning. To the point where he had been teetering dangerously on the edge just from the touch of her lips and fingers—
That way lies madness, old chum, he told himself as he felt himself hardening again, just at thinking about having Stazy’s lips and tongue on him there. Total insanity!
‘Fine, if you’re sure that’s the way you want it,’ he bit out tersely, and he moved to sit in the chair opposite hers.
It wasn’t the way Stazy wanted it at all. It was the way she knew it had to be. For both their sakes.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘SO. THE work’s done, and we can both leave here later this morning.’ Stazy kept her tone deliberately light as she looked across the breakfast table from beneath lowered lashes as Jaxon relaxed back in his chair, enjoying his second cup of coffee after eating what could only be described as a hearty breakfast. Unlike Stazy, who had only managed to pull a croissant apart as she drank her own cup of morning coffee.
No, that probably wasn’t the best way to describe Jaxon this morning—after all, it was the condemned man who ate a hearty breakfast, and on the morning of his departure from Bromley House Jaxon appeared anything but that!
It had been a long and stressful week as far as Stazy was concerned, with the long hours she had spent alone with Jaxon in the library by far the biggest strain. But only for Stazy, it seemed. Jaxon, when he hadn’t been secluded in the study with her grandfather, had been brisk and businesslike in her company, with not even a hint of a mention of the night they had spent together, let alone that conversation he had seemed so intent on the two of them having five days ago.
Her grandfather’s return to London late yesterday evening hadn’t brought about any change in Jaxon’s distant manner either.
Had she wanted it to make a difference?
Stazy had no idea what she wanted, except she knew she found this strained politeness extremely unsettling!
Jaxon shrugged the broadness of his shoulders in the dark grey tee shirt he wore with faded blue denims. The heavy biker boots were already on his feet in preparation for his departure. ‘It’s over for you, certainly, but the real work for me—the writing of the screenplay—is only just beginning.’ He smiled ruefully.
Stazy’s heart did a little lurch in her chest just at the sight of that smile after days of strained politeness. ‘Can you do that while working on the pirate movie?’
He raised a dark brow. ‘I appreciate it’s a common belief amongst ladies that men can only concentrate on one thing at a time, but I assure you it’s just a myth! ‘
Stazy felt warmth in her cheeks at the rebuke. ‘I meant timewise, not mentally.’
‘I’ll cope,’ Jaxon drawled as he studied her from between narrowed lids.
Was it his imagination, or did the fine delicacy of Stazy’s features appear sharper than a week ago? Her cheekbones and the curve of her chin more defined, with dark shadows beneath those mesmerising green eyes?
Or was he just hoping that was the case? Hoping that Stazy had found the time the two of them had spent alone together these last five days as much of
a strain as he had?
If he was, then he was surely only deluding himself—because there had certainly seemed to be no sign of that in her cool and impersonal manner towards him these past few days as the two of them had continued to work together on Anastasia’s papers and diaries. Frosty had best described Stazy’s attitude towards him. In fact this was the first even remotely personal conversation they’d had in days. At five days, to be exact.
‘When do you expect to have finished writing the screenplay?’
‘Why do you want to know?’ Jaxon gave a derisive smile. ‘So that you can make sure you’re nowhere near if I should need to discuss it with Geoffrey?’
A frown appeared on her creamy brow. ‘I was merely attempting to make polite conversation, Jaxon …’
Jaxon had had it up to here with Stazy’s politeness! He stood up abruptly to move across the room and stare out of the window, the tightness of his jaw and the clenching of his hands evidence of his inner frustration. ‘As we’re both leaving here this morning, don’t you think you should start saying what you really mean?’ he ground out harshly.
Stazy watched him warily, sensing that the time for politeness between them was over. ‘I thought, for my grandfather’s sake at least, that the two of us should at least try to part as friends—’
‘Friends!’ Jaxon turned to look at her incredulously. ‘You can’t be so naive as to believe the two of us can ever be friends!’ he bit out scornfully.
She knew that, of course. But nevertheless it was painful to actually hear Jaxon state it so dismissively.
‘Friends are at ease in each other’s company,’ he continued remorselessly. ‘They actually enjoy being together. And that certainly doesn’t describe the two of us, now, does it?’
Stazy clasped her hands together beneath the table so that Jaxon wouldn’t see how much they were trembling. ‘I’m sorry you feel that way—’
‘No, you’re not,’ he contradicted scathingly. ‘You’ve wanted me to feel this way. Damn it, you’ve done everything in your power to push me away!’
The Talk of Hollywood Page 13