“Do you have his info from when he signed up for the hike?” Ian scraped his chair around to face Meg.
“I’m sure Matt’s already looked him up, probably even called his hotel. I know his name was Hans, at least that’s what he told me.” She placed her palms flat on the table, as if to still their worried motion. “Do you think he’s involved?”
“There’s only one way to find out. We need to locate him and ask him a few pointed questions.”
“We can at least help with that.” Jensen drummed his fingers on the table in a staccato beat. “We’ll search his hotel room and put a call out for his rental car, if he has one.”
Ian nodded. “I appreciate that, Deputy Jensen.”
The door burst open and Cahill huffed and puffed at the entrance to the office. “That Colonel Scripps is as closed-mouth as you are Dempsey, but you both check out. I mean, as far as I could check you out. Your background is a black hole.”
Ian pushed back from the table. At least Cahill had removed the sneer from his voice when he’d mentioned his name. That had to be an improvement. “If you boys are finished here, I have to make some arrangements for Kayla, and I’m sure Meg has pressing business elsewhere.”
God, he couldn’t even bring himself to mention her son. Every thought of the boy punched him in the gut. They couldn’t leave the subject hanging between them. She knew that he knew. He couldn’t pretend otherwise…even if he wanted to. She’d deem him a coward if he avoided the topic.
Cahill held out the card with the colonel’s number. “You can have this back, Dempsey. Just don’t cause trouble in my town. I don’t want any more unexplained dead bodies turning up, including yours.”
“That’s decent of you, Sheriff.”
“Hell, that’s not decent. Your corpse can turn up anywhere else, just not in Crestville.”
Ian stuck out his hand. “I’ll try my best to die outside of your jurisdiction.”
Cahill squeezed his hand hard. “Appreciate it. Meg, do you need a ride to the emergency room, or is Travis home now?”
“Travis is still in the emergency room and I want to pick him up, but my car’s at the office at the bottom of the mountain. Gabe can take me down in the van.”
Cahill sliced a hand through the air. “By the time Gabe gets you down there, Travis will be home. I’ll take you.”
“I’ll take her. I left my car up here and took the van down earlier, since we were skipping the train.”
Two pairs of eyes, one dark the other bright blue, studied him. Heat suffused Ian’s chest and he battled to keep it out of his face. A minute ago he couldn’t stomach the thought of Meg with a child, someone else’s child. Now he had a burning need to see him. He’d escaped torture by the enemy several times, and now he was prepared to inflict it on himself.
He held his breath, waiting for Meg’s refusal. She had every right to keep him out of this part of her life, out of every part of her life. He’d let her go without a fight, and he’d regretted it every day of his sorry existence after he’d left. He had to pay some kind of penance now, a glimpse into what might have been between them. Hell on earth.
“Okay.” Meg inclined her head, dropping her lashes. “You can give me a ride, Ian.”
Ian swallowed. She seemed almost conciliatory, as if she owed him something. Would she tell him about the boy’s father? Was he still in the picture? Did she want to rub his face in it?
Cahill tugged on Meg’s ponytail. “We’ll talk later. In the meantime, we’ll keep our eye out for the missing hiker, although I’m sure Matt’s already headed back to search for him.”
Meg reached for the door and turned, pinning Ian with her gaze. “Don’t you have to make arrangements for Kayla?”
“I’m sure Colonel Scripps has already started the wheels turning, since the good sheriff here informed him of the circumstances.” Ian tapped his phone in his pocket. “I’ll give him a call and we can work out the details on the way to the hospital.”
Wrinkling her nose, Meg cocked her head. “Are you okay?”
No. He had a sour knot of regret gnawing at his insides for Kayla, and now this child that Meg shared with someone else. Someone worthy of fatherhood.
“It makes me sick to think about Kayla’s family on the other end of this tragedy, but I’m determined to see this through.” He bent his head to whisper in her ear. “For Kayla and Jack.”
“If you need anything else, Pete, you know where to find me. And I’m leading another hike tomorrow.”
Like hell she was. Ian wasn’t going to allow that, not after what she’d been through today.
“And I gave my hotel to Deputy Jensen, so you know where to find me, too.” Ian touched two fingers to his temple and swept Meg out the door.
They walked side by side in silence toward the parking lot, as drops of rain hit Ian’s face and slid down his chin like chilly tears. Time to switch focus.
He and Meg had separated almost three years ago. She must’ve met someone else on the rebound. He’d had a couple of those relationships himself, but he’d recognized them for what they were—meaningless connections to fill the emptiness left by Meg. Definitely nothing serious enough to result in a child…a baby.
Meg’s boy had to be a baby, less than two years old, unless she’d gotten pregnant immediately after their split. That had to be one, huge rebound.
Ian dug his keys out of his pocket and dropped them on the cold ground. A tricycle accident. He scooped up the keys with stiff fingers and hit the remote. The rental car beeped once as the locks popped and Ian opened Meg’s door.
He walked around the back of the car, his steps slow. Babies didn’t ride tricycles. How old did a kid have to be to master a trike? Two? Three?
His chest felt tight and he pounded on it and coughed. Damned altitude. Not like his body couldn’t acclimate to heights, since he spent most of his time among the clouds. But he knew the altitude had nothing to do with his trouble breathing.
If Meg had a two-year-old, she’d gotten busy real quick after their separation. Unless…
A sharp pain stabbed his temple, and he braced his hands against the car, his head hanging between his arms. Unless she’d been busy before their separation.
No way. Meg was not the cheatin’ kind. The other alternative stared him in the face. Planted itself in front of him like the Abominable Snowman howling for recognition.
Ian gulped at the cold, wet air, but couldn’t fill his lungs. He grasped the car door handle, slippery with raindrops, and yanked. He fell on to the seat and dropped his forehead to the steering wheel.
The anger he’d felt at the thought of Meg having a child with another man couldn’t even compare to the fear that now engulfed him. He had a son. And his name was Travis.
Chapter Five
“Ian?” Meg jerked her head to stare at her rock of a husband hunched over the steering wheel. He’d taken the news of Travis so calmly at the office. It must be hitting him now…like a sledgehammer from the looks of it. At least he’d held it together in front of Pete and the other deputies. Of course he’d hold it together in front of others. In that respect, they had the same steely resolve.
Her hand hovered over his curved back. Would he welcome her touch? Shrug it off? Go ballistic?
He rolled his head to the side, still planted against the steering wheel. “Travis is our son?”
“Y-yes. He’s almost two and a half.”
He groaned and closed his eyes. He’d barely reacted in the office when he found out. He had an amazing talent for suppressing his emotions, an amazing talent for compartmentalizing the different facets of his life. But now it looked as if those compartments were crashing together.
“You’ve had about an hour to get used to the idea. I’m kind of surprised you didn’t yank me out of that office as soon as you found out.” She thrust out her chin. “But then, you’re good at shoving things to the corner and focusing on the here and now, especially when that here and now involves work.”
Ian jerked upright and pounded the steering wheel with his fists. “I just figured it out, Meg. Just now. Just this minute.”
“What?” Meg’s jaw dropped. Now it was her turn for an emotional turmoil to whip through her body. “You just realized my son was our son? Who the hell did you imagine I’d been sleeping with when I was still with you?”
Ian’s jaw worked, and then he passed an unsteady hand over his face. “I didn’t think you’d been sleeping with anyone while we were together. I thought…I thought, I figured it was someone after our breakup.”
She snorted. “I thought you were good at math. We’ve been apart just under three years.”
He rubbed his eyes as if awakening from a crazy dream. “I don’t know, Meg. I was thinking you had a baby, not a toddler.”
“A baby on a tricycle? You really are clueless about kids.” Her words extinguished the light in Ian’s eyes, and his face blanched. She bit her lip and drew blood. She’d gone on the attack before he could lambast her for keeping their son a secret from him. She’d gone after him in the cruelest way, and instant tears sprang to her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Ian.” She whispered into the hands that covered her mouth.
He grinned, a lopsided twist of his lips that never reached his green eyes, still slits of pain. “Don’t be. You’re right. You had every reason to keep the birth of our son a secret.”
One tear spilled over and rolled down her cheek to catch on her index finger, scorching it. “I had foolish, selfish reasons for doing so. But I didn’t start out with that plan in mind. I tried to reach you a few times at the beginning, but you were deep undercover.”
“Story of my life, huh? I haven’t been deep undercover for almost three years. Did you change your mind about telling me later? Did you ever plan to tell me about my son…our son?”
“Yes.” She stroked his forearm, tense with corded muscle. “I thought about it every day.”
I thought about you every day.
“Travis needs his father. I just wasn’t sure…”
“You weren’t sure I’d be there for him.” He held up his hands to stop the protest bubbling to her lips. “When did you find out about your pregnancy?”
“After you left. After I realized you didn’t want kids.”
“You should’ve told me, Meg. I had the right to know, even if you believed I’d turn my back on you.”
She curled her fingers around his, still white-knuckled and clenching the steering wheel. “I never thought that, Ian. I knew you’d come through for me, for us. I just didn’t want to force you into anything. I didn’t want to be a burden or a dreaded responsibility.”
Her words had a hollow sound, and she threaded her fingers through his to soften the blow. She’d just confirmed his worst fears—that she considered Ian Dempsey unfit father material. How could she ever convey that her reluctance to tell him about Travis bubbled from her own insecurities and fears? She had an overriding terror of being dependent on anyone. She’d seen firsthand the price you had to pay for that dependence.
She scooped in a deep breath and opened her mouth, but Ian cut her off. “Save it, Meg. You had your reasons, and I don’t want to hear any more of them.”
Ian’s jaw tightened as he cranked the engine of the rental car. He’d already transformed his hurt into anger. He’d pile it on top of all the other anger that formed the hard core of his soul.
“Now, which way to the hospital, so you can see your son before he’s discharged?”
She didn’t miss his reference to your son, but what did she expect? She’d cut Ian out of Travis’s life. She couldn’t expect him to brush that off or forgive her…ever.
She gave him directions to the hospital in Colorado Springs and settled into her seat while he plugged in his Bluetooth and called Colonel Scripps. As Ian exchanged information with the colonel, her ears almost twitched. Although she could hear only one side of the conversation, Ian’s responses sounded cantankerous. She’d always assumed he held Colonel Scripps in great esteem, but what did she really know about that side of Ian’s life?
Of course, the irritated edge to Ian’s voice could have everything to do with the fact that he’d just found out he had a son she’d kept from him. The loss of his partner, Kayla, could be sinking in, too. From where she was sitting, it sounded like Colonel Scripps had several choice words for Ian and his handling of the assignment.
She sighed and leaned her head against the cool glass of the window. She’d often dreamed of the moment when she’d tell Ian about their son. Driving to the emergency room with the death of Ian’s partner hanging over them and a covert mission in disarray somehow never entered those dreams.
Ian ended the call, yanked the Bluetooth out of his ear and scowled at the road. His short, dark hair capped off chiseled features as hard as granite. His erect posture, even cramped in a small sedan, spoke of Ian’s military background and precise nature. Everything had a place in his life, and she’d just stepped in and mucked it all up for him.
“It didn’t sound like the call went well.”
He raised his shoulders in a stiff shrug. “Colonel Scripps told me he’d handle the arrangements for Kayla’s body. I wanted to do it myself, finish what I started, but he wants me back on the case.”
Yeah, Ian would want to wrap up all the loose ends himself. Because of the chaos of his childhood, he had ordered everything in his life just so. He gravitated toward the structure and discipline of the military like a drowning man to a life preserver.
She figured that’s why he never filed for divorce. He didn’t want that black mark on his record—the mental record he kept of a life in constant peril of slipping back into the abyss of disorder, disappointment and disaster.
She’d panicked at being sucked into that orbit of preciseness, so much like her father’s world. The world she’d worked hard to escape, the world that had killed her mother and her twin sister.
“Turn left at the light.” She jerked her thumb and then held onto the edge of the seat as Ian careened around the corner. “The hospital’s up ahead on the left. I think the emergency entrance is the second driveway.”
He followed her instructions, his lips pressed into a thin line. He seemed to grow madder by the minute. She fully expected to see steam seeping from his ears and nostrils. But that’s as far as it would go. Ian didn’t allow himself to get really angry.
The car bounced as it rolled over the speed bumps, and Ian swung into a parking space. He cut the engine and gripped the steering wheel as if ready for takeoff. “Do you want me to wait here?”
“No. It’s time you met your son.”
He blew out a harsh breath and pushed out of the car. Meg scrambled from her seat before he could open her door. She didn’t want him attending to her, not after what she’d done to him.
The automatic doors whisked open for them, and Meg rushed to the intake desk. “I’m here to pick up my son, Travis Dempsey. Is he ready to go?”
The clerk tapped some keys on a keyboard and adjusted her glasses. “He’s all done. Just a couple of stitches. He must be in the playroom next door.”
“Thank you.” Meg tripped across the polished linoleum, her knees weak and shaking. She didn’t know if her anxiety stemmed from collecting Travis at the emergency room or from the first meeting of father and son.
She shoved open the swinging blue door, her gaze settling on Travis’s dark head bent over a couple of Hot Wheels on the floor. Felicia rose from her chair, dropping her magazine. “I’m so sorry to give you such a scare, Meg. He’s okay, but we should have kept him off that tricycle. The rubber is stripped off the pedal, and the edge cut him.”
“I don’t blame you, Felicia.” Meg held open her arms as Travis spun around on his bottom and scrambled to his feet. “I’ve let him ride that tricycle before myself. Time to throw it out.”
Travis’s little legs pumped across the room until he threw himself into her arms. “Whoa, big guy. You don’t want to open t
hose stitches.”
Leaning back in her arms, Travis jabbed a stubby finger at the red line beneath his chin. “Cut.”
“I know.” Meg gently touched her lips to the corner of his stitches. “You need to stop being such a daredevil, or you’re going to get a lot more of these little stitches.”
Meg rose to her feet, scooping up Travis in her arms. She nodded to Ian slouched against the wall, his eyes an unreadable dark green. “Felicia, this is Ian Dempsey, Travis’s father. Felicia helps out at her mother’s day care.”
Only two bright spots of color on Felicia’s cheeks betrayed her surprise. She smiled and held out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Dempsey. Travis is a great kid.”
With a visible effort Ian seemed to bite back the first comment that rose to his lips. “Good to meet you, too. I’m looking forward to discovering that for myself.”
Travis’s green eyes widened above the knuckle shoved firmly into his mouth. Had he understood already that this man was the father he’d just started to ask about?
Meg adjusted Travis on her hip and turned to Ian. “This is your son, Ian.”
“I’m going to head home now, Meg. I’ll leave the car seat we used for Travis in the waiting room. You can return it to the daycare when you get the chance. Nice meeting you, Mr. Dempsey.” Felicia discreetly sidled out of the door, letting in a boy and a girl with their mother.
Ian took a tentative step forward and wedged a large finger beneath Travis’s cut. “That’s quite a battle scar there.”
Travis’s eyes got even bigger as he took in the larger-than-life man before him. Then he smiled around the finger still buried in his mouth.
“This is your daddy, Travis.” Meg bounced him up and down a few times, but apparently Ian’s presence still overwhelmed him. She shrugged. “Like most boys his age, he’s not much of a talker yet. The girls his age are talking rings around him.”
Ian smirked. “That won’t change much, Travis.”
Mountain Ranger Recon Page 5