We get out and Alexander grabs a large backpack from the trunk. “It’s just through here,” he says as he points toward an opening in the trees. “I have a torch.” He pulls out a flashlight and we follow a small trail that winds through the redwoods and switchbacks up the side of the mountain. When we reach a plateau near the top, Alexander pulls a waterproof blanket out of his pack and spreads it on the ground to sit on. He has another blanket to put over the top of us to keep us warm. We nestle down side by side and he pulls me close under the covers and I rest my head on his shoulder. It’s just before sunrise and the darkness is fading. We’re facing the mountains to the east and behind us we have a clear view all the way to the ocean in the distance. “Now we wait,” he says.
“For sunrise?” I assume that’s what he means, but I can never be sure with Alexander.
“Sunrise and a surprise afterwards,” he says with a smile. He knows I’m dying to know what he has planned.
We wait and slowly the sun appears, spectacularly, illuminating the sky and reflecting the wonder in my heart as I marvel that I’m sitting here on top of the world with an angel watching the sun come up over the San Mar Mountains.
Alexander reaches into his backpack and pulls out two Capri Suns and hands one to me. I laugh.
“What? You like these.”
“I love them. And I love that you brought them. Sometimes I just find it hard to believe you’re an angel.”
“What do you mean?’
“I don’t know. I guess you don’t act very angel-y.”
“Angel-y?” he repeats, teasingly. “How should angels act?”
“I have no idea. But somehow the idea of you shopping for Capri Suns makes me laugh. I don’t know why. You’re a perfect angel. And this day is perfect. And I love it.”
Alexander smiles as we jab our straws into the shiny plastic pouches. He raises his for a toast. “To an eternity of sunrises together. There’s no one I’d rather greet each day with than you,” he says sincerely.
I smile as we touch our drinks together and take a sip. He pulls me closer and I rest my head on his shoulder again as we enjoy the view.
“Are you hungry?” he asks after a while. “I have muffins. The good ones—from Erin’s.” Erin’s is our favorite bakery.
“Not yet. I just want to take in the view and enjoy this moment with you a little longer. I love your present. Thank you.”
“If you really want to take in the view then now would be a good time to move on to the surprise.”
“I thought this was the surprise?”
He shakes his head with a sly grin. “Not even close.” He stands and puts out his hand to help me up. We walk to the end of the plateau and it’s a breathtaking view, but I’m nervous about getting so close to the edge. “You’re going to have to trust me on this one,” he says with a smile as he nudges me closer. I look at him warily but he whispers “Trust me,” again, softly in my ear. The heat of his breath calms me and as I lean into him, he pulls me closer into his arms. Just as I’m beginning to relax and feel safe, he leaps off the ledge, taking me with him.
Before I can scream we’re transformed—into what, I’m not sure—but it’s exhilarating and my whole being vibrates with a force more powerful than anything I’ve felt with Alexander before. We zoom over the hills and mountains at a breathtaking pace, swooping down to zigzag through the trees and then shooting straight up again as if we’re going to touch the sky. We reach the ocean in minutes, flying over the cliffs and rushing straight down to the waves before pulling up at the last second and flying into the clouds again. The ocean spray is cold and vibrant and I’ve never felt so alive. We soar around the lighthouse on the edge of the cliffs, spinning around it in a spiral until we shoot up like a rocket at the top and fly back down to touch the waves again. Then we speed over the ocean’s surface, inches from the water, and head out to sea, the world a blur around us. I should be terrified but I’m intoxicated with the electric rush. Alexander and I are one being, our connection so profound that it brings overwhelming tears of joy. We soar over the ocean and mountains for hours before alighting back on top of the hill where we started. As we touch ground I feel my body return to a solid state, re-forming from the soles of my feet on up. When the transformation is complete, we’re standing face to face with our arms wrapped around one another. Alexander starts to step back, but I hold him close a moment longer. I want to preserve the feeling of being one entity, connected. It’s pure bliss.
“Did you like it?” Alexander asks, grinning.
I nod, breathless, as we sit down. “I have … no words.”
“I’ve rendered Declan Jane speechless. That’s one for the history books.”
“You can fly?”
He nods, smiling.
“What was that? While we were flying I felt … different.”
“Energy state, babe. Pure energy,” he answers, laughing.
“How come you never told me you could fly?”
He shrugs. “Never came up, I guess.”
“Never came up?” I raise an eyebrow with mock indignation. “My uncle is in show business; My cousin lives in Tucson; I once owned a dog named Sparky—those are the types of things that might never come up. Being able to fly, on the other hand, is the type of thing you bring up because most people wouldn’t think to ask.”
“They might if they knew you were an angel.”
I smile. He knows he’s got me. “All right then, what other powers do you have?”
“You want me to list them?”
“Yes. But wait a minute, is that how you did the coffee cup thing?”
“What coffee cup thing?”
“In Mrs. King’s class. You reached for her coffee cup before it started to tip. I thought I imagined it. Did you know it was going to happen?”
“You saw that? I was just moving faster than the spill. We don’t always intervene—it’s important to let mortals steer their own lives—but she was having such a bad day I wanted to restore her faith a little. People tend to focus on the bad and they forget all the times when things go right.”
I nod. “So you can’t see the future?”
“The future is a construct. Time isn’t linear.”
“Hmm. Okay … not exactly sure what that means.”
“How about this: fate isn’t set in stone. Free will can change anything.”
“Better, I guess.”
He nods.
“So what other powers do you have?”
“I think you know already.” He starts ticking them off with his fingers. “I’m immortal.”
“Knew that one. Go on.”
“I can fly.”
“Check.”
“Guardians are much stronger and faster than mortals—even when we’re not flying.”
I nod. “I’ve seen that.”
“We can heal our physical bodies.”
“That one is amazing. If I hadn’t seen it myself I wouldn’t have believed you when you told me you were an angel.”
“You wouldn’t have believed me?”
I shake my head slowly as I form a smile. “I thought you were a little crazy, actually.”
“Is that right? …so now the truth comes out,” he replies, feigning offense. “But guess what? I already knew you thought I was nuts. I can read minds.”
My face turns ashen. The idea of him knowing all the things I’ve thought about him since the first time we met is mortifying.
“The look on your face right now has me very intrigued to know what you’ve been thinking,” he says with his lopsided grin. “Someday I hope you’ll enlighten me … in the meantime I can’t torture you any longer. I can’t really read minds. I figured as long as you think I’m crazy, I may as well make things up.”
I push his arm. “I can’t believe you did that!” I let out a giant sigh of relief as he laughs. “God, I almost had a heart attack … all right, keep going then. What’s your next power—a real one this time.”
“Yo
u mean assuming I’m not delusional?”
“C’mon. This incredibly hot new guy comes to my school and tells me he’s my guardian angel? It’s not exactly the kind of thing you expect to hear.”
“Fair point. Incredibly hot, huh?”
“Yes,” I say with a smile, “as if you didn’t know.”
“I like hearing you say it.” His deep green eyes lock with mine and suddenly I’m having a hard time remembering what we were even talking about.
“This is what I mean …” I say softly, “you don’t seem very angel-y right now.”
“I’m not feeling very angel-y right now.”
His voice is low and I swallow nervously as he gives me that look that makes my knees go weak. “Any other powers?” I manage to squeak out faintly.
“I see auras. I’m looking at yours as we speak and it’s beautiful, as ever, by the way.”
I smile, besotted. “I wish I could see yours.”
“You can feel it, which is even better. Take my hands.”
Alexander floods me with energy that ripples languorously from the top of my head down through my toes over and over. I close my eyes to enjoy the peaceful feeling and when I open them again he’s looking at me with that crooked smile of his. “Have I told you lately how much I love being around you?” he asks.
“Ditto,” I sigh, and if I wasn’t already, in this moment I am truly gone—hopelessly, irrevocably, positively lovestruck and there is no turning back.
“That was a demonstration of my last power, by the way. I can harness my energy to use as a force. To either fend off darkness, or—my favorite way—to impress girlfriends. Did it work?”
I smile. “I think you know the answer to that.”
As I sit and bask in the feeling between us, I notice the sun has barely moved in the sky since we left on our flying adventure. “What time is it?” I ask.
Alexander checks his watch. “Seven thirty.”
“How can that be? We were flying for hours.”
“Time is experienced differently in an energy state. You can cover a lot of ground when you’re moving as light.”
“Why don’t you travel that way all the time?”
“First of all, it might scare the heck out of people if I started popping up here and there in time. We’re meant to blend in, not stand out and raise questions. But the biggest reason is because it requires energy to go in and out of that state and it takes time to regain full strength afterwards.”
“Time travel … you forgot to add that to your list of superhero powers. You are very impressive, Mr. Ronin.”
“You have no idea,” he teases.
I smile. “I love your gift. It was unexpected. And it was stunning. Now I understand how you found this place tucked away in the park. It must be nice to be able to just fly off wherever you want.”
“It’s nice to be free of my mortal shell … no offense.”
“None taken. If I could do that, I don’t think I would ever switch back.”
We sit on the picnic blanket and eat our muffins, enjoying the gorgeous morning and the tranquility of being on top of the world amongst the redwoods. As the sun rises higher in the sky, I tell him I’m ready to give him my present. He smiles eagerly like a young boy on Christmas morning. Oh God, I’m nervous. I hope this isn’t disappointing.
“After watching the sunrise together and soaring over the ocean in a state of utter bliss, I don’t know how impressive this is going to be,” I say, trying to temper expectations, “but I worked a long time on it and it comes from my heart.”
We sit with our legs crossed, facing one another on the blanket. I hold his hands, close my eyes, and relax, focusing on my energy center. Worry spills into my consciousness because although I’ve practiced hundreds of times, I’ve only been able to do this once successfully so far. I push the worry to the back of my mind each time it resurfaces and return my concentration to the task at hand. I focus on my feelings for Alexander and how much I want to give him this gift. I visualize the warm white light of my energy moving through my body and settling in my fingertips where it intensifies until I can feel its vibration, straining to be released. When I think I’m ready, I open my eyes and trace the image of a large heart in the air, where it holds, shimmering with white hot intensity. I quickly trace our initials within the heart, writing “D. J. loves A.R.” and then add underneath “Always.” The image is suspended in the air for a moment like fireworks in the sky, then slowly fades and disappears.
I search Alexander’s face, hopeful that he liked it. His expression is a mixture of surprised wonder and what looks like alarm.
“It was stupid, I’m sorry,” I say, embarrassed.
“Declan, no,” he says softly, “it was perfect. More than perfect. I’m speechless not only because I love your gift but because I’m trying to understand how you did it. It was astonishing.” He leans forward as if to kiss me and then stops, catching himself. He gazes into my eyes as he slowly kisses the tip of his index finger and touches it to my lips. He lets it linger there as our eyes lock until he slowly moves it down, parting my bottom lip and gently cresting my chin before he pulls it away.
“You bewilder me,” he says.
“I wish I could make it last forever,” I say softly.
He searches my eyes for a long moment before slowly rising to his feet. “I have an idea. Come with me.” He takes my hand and helps me up.
We hike partly down the hill and follow a faint trail—or what looks as though it may have been a trail once—that winds deep into the redwoods until we arrive at last at a circle of towering trees around a clearing. I raise my head to try to see how far up they go.
“This is called a fairy ring,” explains Alexander. “When the parent tree dies, sprouts form around the base to create a new generation. Some of the trees in this park are over a thousand years old. The parent to this ring was very large.”
“It’s beautiful,” I say as I take in the trees arranged like quiet, stately sentries protecting us all the way to the sky. The sun is shining above and the clearing is lit up like a stage. It’s hard to believe this was all made by nature. “It’s so magical and private. I could stay here all day.”
Alexander nods. “It’s one of my favorite spots.”
He takes my hand and walks with me to the center of the ring. There, he bends down and brushes aside needles and dirt to expose what appears to be the petrified remains of the parent redwood tree. A blinding white light emits from the tip of his finger as he forms first a heart and then our initials inside, “D.J. loves A.R.” with the word “Always” underneath, just as I did. When he finishes, the image is seared into the surface, preserved for all time.
He stands up and smiles. “Now it will last.”
I move into his embrace and smile. “I love it.”
“And I love your gift … I’m still trying to figure out how you did it, though. You are the most amazing mortal I’ve ever come across.”
“I had a very good teacher.”
“Not that good,” says Alexander with a somewhat quizzical expression.
I look up at the sky—it’s so peaceful to be within this quiet ring of soaring trees. We stay for a long while and eventually hike back the way we came until we’re back where we started on the plateau.
The sky is crisp and blue with billowy white clouds floating across, intermittently blocking out the sun. We lay down side by side on the blanket, hands entwined, and look up at the clouds.
“I see a monkey,” Alexander says, pointing. “He’s got his arm up over his head.”
“That’s a giraffe,” I counter.
“Are you nuts? Anyone would tell you that’s clearly a monkey. See the banana in his hand?”
For the next lazy hour we just lay there, enjoying each other’s company and bantering back and forth about the images we see above us. After a while, our voices trail off and for several minutes we enjoy the movement of the clouds in silence. Then I have an idea.
&n
bsp; “I just kissed your eyelids,” I say.
Alexander is silent so I continue.
“Now I’m gently kissing the tip of your nose.”
After a long pause Alexander decides it’s his turn. “I’m holding your face in my hands.”
I don’t dare to look at him. We’re still lying side by side, eyes closed, hands clasped. “I just kissed your chin and now I’m making my way down to the hollow of your neck.”
“I like that,” he murmurs huskily, “My hands are wrapped in your hair now.”
“I glide my hand slowly down your chest until I slide it under your shirt and back up to feel your heartbeat and the heat of your skin,” I breathe.
“Mmm,” he groans softly, “I gently pull you up so I can kiss your face. I’m making my way to your lips, very, very slowly.”
The air around us is crackling with intensity. I wonder if we should stop but I can’t help myself. “I part your lips with mine and tug at your bottom lip, gently, with my teeth ...”
“Stop,” Alexander says breathlessly before I can say anymore. He sits up and turns toward me, his eyes deep pools, hungry. “Declan, I’m sorry. I can’t do this … I want to, believe me … but it’s just … I mean, I’m an angel but I’m also a man, and it’s more than a guy can take.” He covers his heart with his hand and flashes me a helpless look to try to lighten the mood.
“It’s more than a girl can take, too,” I say as I exhale. “I was honestly starting to wish I hadn’t started it.” I place my hand over my heart, too, and feel it thumping rapidly.
“A loophole,” he says with mock determination as he squeezes my hand. “We need to find a loophole.” Then he adds, more seriously, “I’m going to talk to Edwin about it again.”
Chapter Twelve
I’m beginning to think of myself as a master at warding off negative energy. Whenever I feel that familiar panicky feeling start to rise in my chest and throat, I close my eyes and focus on my breathing as I imagine white light emanating from my core, creating an impervious shield around me. Molly’s bursts of negativity don’t send me spiraling anymore, and even calculus with Ms. Tamen no longer affects me.
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