“I think it’s the other way around,” I say as he pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me. As I gaze into his eyes all I can think about is how much I want to kiss him, right now, until I remember we’re not alone.
I turn to see that Edwin is clearly happy for us but looking uncomfortable. “Do you want me to go on?”
“Is the rest good?” I ask, warily.
He shakes his head. “But you need to hear it. Alexander should never have gone to Nusquam.” His lips are set in a firm line as he eyes Alexander. “However, considering the fact that he was saving a sprite and almost lost his life, I believe the high guardians will go easy on him. But as far as you bringing him back, Declan, until we figure this out, the story is only that he was weakened and your powers as a sprite revived him. Nothing more.”
We nod in agreement but inside I’m still confused by all the secrecy.
“While you were gone, the resistance the other guardians and I encountered was stronger than we can defend for long. Avestan and the others will be back. And he’ll be pursuing you with a vengeance. We need to regroup. We can’t let down our guard.”
He pauses for a long moment and then adds softly with great emotion, “I’m grateful to you, Declan. I felt Alexander’s essence leave and I thought he was gone forever.”
“Me, too,” I reply, my voice cracking.
My eyes meet Edwin’s and I see the love in them as I squeeze Alexander’s hand, emotions overwhelming me.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“I think I know where we’re going,” I say as Alexander holds his car door open. It’s Monday afternoon, only twenty-four hours since Alexander rescued me from Nusquam, but the whole ordeal has already faded to nearly a dream. I can’t reconcile the bleakness I was in with the brilliant sun above me now, no clouds in sight. Alexander drove me home after school and told me to change into something dressy but to also bring runners (his parlance for sneakers) in a bag. It’s all very curious.
“You’ll find out soon enough,” he smiles. He looks me over admiringly as I slide my legs in. I’m wearing a navy cocktail dress with a halter neckline and nipped waist. “Beautiful inside and out, as always,” he says with a smile of sincerity as he closes the door.
Alexander has on the slate gray suit and crisp, white shirt he wore the night of the dance. His dark hair curls slightly at the nape of his neck and his green eyes gaze at me appraisingly. My eyes trail from his impossibly handsome face down to the open neck of his shirt and I turn slightly pink as if he can tell where my thoughts are leading. I have to force myself not to stare as we weave through the streets of San Mar, making our way to the highway.
“Excited?” Alexander asks.
I nod with a smile. “I’ve been excited ever since Edwin told us we can be together.”
“The fact that he found us a loophole almost makes up for the fact that he forced you to break up with me. Almost.”
Alexander was furious when Edwin confessed everything but I convinced him that it was all done out of love. He’s almost come around to forgiving Edwin. Almost, but not quite.
For my part, I was upset about some of the revelations, too. Why Alexander never told me Avestan was his brother, for one. He explained it was many lifetimes ago, but I still don’t understand. Apparently they were very close until Avestan’s obsession with Alenna caused him to view Alexander through a dark, twisted lens. His resentment spiraled until that final, fateful day at the lake. With his last breath, Alexander fought to save Alenna and he mortally wounded Avestan in the process. The result was death for all three, but they fell to different fates. Alexander and Alenna became realized as guardians and Avestan chose to trade his soul to the darkness. Alexander told me he kept the scar on his temple as a reminder of the power of evil and its ability to turn brother against brother.
Not surprisingly, I found out that most of what Avestan told me was lies, but the part about Alenna is still a little murky.
“Can I ask you about Alenna?” I ask as we’re driving.
“You can ask me anything.”
“Is she the blonde that met you in the parking lot at school once?”
“Yes.”
“Tall, immaculate blonde” is what a small, insecure part of me is thinking—of course she would have to be exquisitely beautiful … “Cut the crap, Jane. He’s with you,” says my inner drill sergeant, rolling her eyes and making me smile a little.
“You and Alenna were a couple then? As mortals?”
“Yes.”
“And as guardians?”
He glances at me. “After we were realized, we were bound to each other for a time. Partly because of the way we crossed over.”
“So you loved her?”
He nods. “I still do. But I came to realize I love her as a friend.”
“What about her love for you?”
“I suspect her feelings are the same as mine.”
“Did she say that?”
“Declan, when I met you, everything changed. My universe shifted. My connection with you is like nothing I’ve ever felt. When Alenna meets her soul mate one day she’ll feel it, too, and she’ll realize what she and I have is different.”
“She must hate me.”
“She’s a guardian, above all, and she wants me to be happy, as I do her. She helped protect you. She’s a good person.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me about her?”
He shrugs. “I didn’t think it mattered. Have you told me about all your old boyfriends?”
He has a point. But the difference is I don’t have any old boyfriends.
“Why does Avestan think you stole her from him?”
He sighs and shakes his head. “It was such a long time ago and it all seems so banal now,” he says, almost with disgust. “He met her through friends and fell for her but never told her. He never told anyone. She came by looking for him one day and I was home. After that I kept running into her at various places and it progressed from there. The most frustrating part of the story is that Alenna was initially interested in him. If only he had said something …” Alexander’s voice trails off.
I feel the weight of Alexander’s words. The idea that their fates were set in motion over something that could just as easily have gone the other way … as if a flip of a coin changed their lives forever. I wonder if all of life is like that—just the sum of a billion random coin flips that determine our destinies.
“Please tell Alenna I’m grateful to her for protecting me.”
Alexander nods. “She dropped the ball with Charlie but she kept you safe at times when I couldn’t.”
“So she was the one?”
“One what?”
“The one protecting me after you and I broke up?”
“She was one of many.”
“Then how come Avestan was able to get close to me? He came to Jack’s and told me you never loved me.”
“Guardians aren’t meant to shield mortals from life. People have to make their own choices and face the consequences. Our purpose is to guide mortals down a positive path and remind them what matters. We do what we can to protect them from danger but we can’t always step in.”
“So Alenna was there watching? Letting me talk to Avestan?”
“No. Jimmy was.”
The look on my face shows I’m beyond surprised.
“You didn’t suspect? Sorry, I thought you worked that out. You’ve always been able to see into his soul.”
I feel clueless. Jimmy is an angel and I didn’t know? “Why didn’t he tell me?” I ask.
“First of all, remember, you’re not supposed to know we exist. But he wouldn’t be inclined to tell you anyway. You know he has his own style. He likes to stay under the radar, play a role, and see how people treat the least among us.”
I think about Jimmy as an angel. After the initial shock, I realize it makes sense. I’ve always felt Jimmy’s goodness. Solid goodness. At his core. And he was always there, protecting me, late at nig
ht, after work. I smile. Thanks, Jimmy. I stare out the car window and can’t help but laugh a little as I continue to digest this information. As we wind our way through the redwood trees, my eyes follow the curves in the highway and after a while I feel certain of where we’re going. I dreamed of this.
As the car bumps and bounces down the rural access road we turned onto, Alexander looks over at me and grins. “Pleased?”
“Very.”
“I still have some surprises for you, though,” he promises with a mischievous glint in his eye.
“I think I dreamed about this day, you know.”
“So you already know my surprise? What happens?”
“I don’t want to ruin it by telling you, in case I’m right,” I hedge.
“Did you like it?”
“It was perfect. But I woke up before it ended and I didn’t want it to end.”
“We’ll see what we can do about that.” He smiles and his voice is low and filled with promise.
He parks off the dirt road and opens the door for me. I bend over to undo the ankle straps on my heels so I can change into sneakers.
“Wait. On second thought, I have a better idea,” he says as he reaches down and lifts me into his arms. “You look far too good in those to have to take them off.” He starts carrying me down the trail.
“You can’t walk with me the whole way like this,” I protest.
He cocks his head to the side with a dubiously raised eyebrow. “First of all, you know how strong I am. Second of all, it’s like lifting Tinkerbelle. And third of all, you don’t even know how far we’re …” he stops. “Wait. Maybe you do know. Let me ask you this: did I carry you in the dream?”
“No. But, we weren’t dressed like this.”
“Well, you’re not walking in those heels. And I like this better anyway.”
“Okay, but just put me down for a second. It’s beautiful here. Let’s kiss for a moment.” I smile at him invitingly.
He tilts his head. “You have no idea how tempting that is. But we’ve held off this long and we’re going to remember our first kiss for eons, so I want it to be perfect. There’s a time and a place for kissing. And this,” he looks around as if he’s surveying our surroundings, “unfortunately, is neither.”
“But we’ve already kissed.”
“Our first conscious kiss, I should have said.”
“You felt very conscious during that kiss.”
He smiles. “But this time we know we can kiss. And we’re both expecting it. The anticipation makes it sweeter.”
The anticipation. That’s what he said in my dream. I smile and we continue on the trail, deep into the towering trees.
“Alexander?” I ask after several minutes.
“Yes.”
“What if being with a mortal … or near mortal … doesn’t turn out to be everything you hoped?” My voice is quiet.
He stops walking and sets me down, facing him.
“Declan, do you have any idea how many times I’ve imagined kissing you? The way I feel when I’m with you? I know it’s going to be beyond anything we could ever hope for. My only worry is that I’ll get carried away. I have to be careful and remember my strength.”
“You would never hurt me,” I assure him.
“You have no idea what being around you does to me. We need to take things slow while I learn my limits.”
“Okay. But remember, I’m not a mortal. I’m a sprite.”
“And we’re still learning what sprites like you can do, aren’t we?” he teases as picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. “I should have known you were a sprite. I thought you looked like a beautiful little pixie fairy the first day we met.”
“Put me down,” I say, laughing. “Why are you carrying me like a sack of potatoes?”
“Because I don’t want you to look when we get to our destination. I have a surprise waiting there. At least I hope it’s a surprise … and I hope it’s still there … wasn’t any of this in your dream?”
“No,” I say, still laughing. “I promise I’ll cover my eyes! Just hold me like you were before. My dress is bunching up and we’re risking indecency here.”
“All right, all right,” he says with a smile. “If this is about you not wanting to show off your knickers, I have to respect that.” He swings me around and holds me in his arms, making sure I cover my eyes until we reach the clearing. He’s right that I know where we’re going, but I’m unsure about the surprise.
“Okay, we’re here,” he says as he sets me down slowly, facing him. “Don’t turn around yet.”
He rolls his shoulders and yanks down his shirt cuffs with his fingers, straightening his suit like James Bond after a skirmish with a villain. I have to laugh. He looks as fresh and gorgeous as he did before we started walking into the forest. I attempt to adjust my dress and run my fingers through my hair. I hope I’m halfway as presentable.
“You look beautiful,” he says, reading my mind. He grins with anticipation. “Now you can turn around.”
I spin around and see a large white blanket spread out in the clearing with a cooler on it and Alexander’s iPod plugged into a speaker dock. There’s a small table next to the blanket, draped in a white tablecloth with two white chairs. Strings of bright blue and white lights are wound around all the trees surrounding the clearing and a garland of silver hearts surrounds our carved initials in the middle.
I’m completely awed as I take it all in. “Alexander, it’s beautiful.”
“It was inspired by your aura.”
“How did you even do this?
“Being able to fly has its perks,” he says with a smile. “Wait until the sun goes down and they all light up. They’re solar powered.”
“And the rangers? You do realize this is a state park? With no special dispensation for angels?” I tease.
“The park closes at dusk and they’ve already done their rounds. We’re deep enough into the interior that no one will come here, trust me. And I can clean it all up in seconds when we’re ready to go later … much later.” The look in his eyes as he says those words makes my knees go weak.
“This wasn’t in my dream, you know.”
“I’m glad to hear you don’t always know what I’m up to.”
“You’re very unpredictable, Mr. Ronin. I like that.” I put my arms around his neck.
“As are you, Miss Jane—and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But if you’re daring me to kiss you right now, I regret to inform you that it’s still not the time, although it is the place,” he says teasingly, looking at his watch.
He takes my hand and leads me to the blanket. As we sit down, he slides me onto his lap, puts his arms around me, and says, “Watch.”
Just as in my dream, a beam of sunlight shines through the trees surrounding the clearing and the spotlight slowly moves until it alights on our carved initials. The garland of tiny, mirrored hearts surrounding the words sparkles brilliantly, reflecting the sun’s rays all around us.
“One more thing,” Alexander whispers huskily in my ear as he leans over to his iPod and presses play. Etta James’ soulful voice begins crooning “At last” and I melt against him.
He slowly stands, smoothly pulling me up with him, and holds out his hand. “Shall we dance?”
I nod and he takes my hand, draws me in close, and wraps his arms around me.
We sway together to the music, slowly, our bodies in gentle contact as we gaze into each other’s eyes.
“Now is the time and this is the place,” says Alexander as he bends down and presses his lips to mine.
The End
Thank You
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading Guardian! If you’d like to find out what’s next for Declan and Alexander, please turn the page for an excerpt from Fallen, available now.
And thank you in advance for supporting authors and helping other readers by considering leaving an online review on amazon, goodreads, and/or your favorite blog/websit
e forum for romance readers. I read all my reviews and they are all sincerely appreciated.
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Books by A.J. Messenger
The Guardian Series
(a paranormal angel romance series):
Guardian (Book One)
Fallen (Book Two)
Revelation (Book Three)
More titles coming soon. Sign up for A.J.’s “new releases newsletter” on
ajmessenger.com or facebook.com/ajmessengerauthor
Excerpt from Fallen
Preface
I’m melting into the sea.
I’m folding into a warm, welcoming blanket that I want to immerse myself in fully so I can stop this endless effort, endless struggle, getting nowhere.
Why fight the inevitable?
This is how it ends. No more pain. No more worry. Wherever Alexander is, he won’t have to put himself in danger for me anymore.
Gradually I cease swaying my arms and legs in the waves and let my body flow beneath the sea, drifting downward, ever deeper … quietly and peacefully … into the abyss.
Avestan has finally won.
Fallen: Chapter One
“What if I jump off a cliff?”
“What?” Alexander squints at me strangely, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand.
We’re sitting on our surfboards out in the ocean during a lull between wave sets. I’ve never been great at surfing but I love the combination of peaceful, meditative swaying punctuated by thrilling, adrenaline-pumping exhilaration. And it’s a great workout—I’m always exhausted afterwards. I get why Alexander likes it so much.
I smooth away the lock of hair that has dipped in front of my right eye and tuck it behind my ear for the hundredth time. Note to self: never cut your own bangs. No matter how good they look on Liz. “You’re going to stay as you are now,” I say, “as an angel, forever. And I’m going to keep growing older. But what if I jump off a cliff? Or get eaten by a shark? Right now? Then I’d stay this age always.”
Guardian (The Guardian Series Book 1) Page 21