Managed Hearts (Players of Marycliff University, #3)

by Jerica MacMillan

  Checking her back seat, she reassured herself that she had Matt’s sweatshirt as well as her backpack with a change of clothes and a couple of her textbooks inside. She kind of suspected that she might end up spending a while at Matt’s house this evening. Much longer than it would take just to drop off his sweatshirt. He’d invited her for dinner the day before, so she assumed that he was planning for that again when he’d accepted her suggestion that she come over today instead.

  She didn’t think she’d stay the night, but if she were going to hang out for a while, she didn’t want to stay in her work clothes. But she still felt kind of presumptuous for bringing them along. So she just grabbed the sweatshirt and made her way up the driveway to the little walkway leading to the front steps, watching her step on the cracked concrete, dark with age.

  Matt answered the door almost immediately after she rang the doorbell, like he was standing on the other side just waiting. Her eyes drifted over him, from the messy blonde hair that still reminded her of the surfer boy she’d met three summers ago to the piercing blue eyes, over the broad shoulders and carved chest hidden by a faded blue t-shirt that said Steepwater Surf Shop, down to worn looking jeans that hung low on his hips. His bare feet peeked out under the hems, and Hannah sucked in a breath at how delicious he looked in his casual clothes. She also felt completely awkward and overdressed in her button-down blouse under a fitted sweater, gray dress pants, and low-heeled black shoes.

  He stepped out of the way, holding the door open for her, his eyes raking over her in the same way she’d done to him. “Come on in.”

  Once he’d closed the door, she thrust the sweatshirt at him, holding it out almost like a shield. “Here’s your sweatshirt. Thanks again for letting me borrow it.”

  He took it from her hand and smirked a little, like he was amused at her nerves. She had no idea why she felt this nervous about seeing him again, but she’d barely been able to eat lunch over the fluttering in her belly. It had only gotten worse as the day had gone on. She’d been distracted at her internship, and her supervisor had to repeat herself on more than one occasion. Hannah had been able to brush it off as being distracted by a big test coming up at school, but she knew she couldn’t let herself keep getting that thrown off just by the prospect of seeing Matt again.

  But here she was, with the guy she’d been mostly in love with for over three years. It seemed unreal and overwhelming at the same time. Even though she’d seen him yesterday and spent time with him Friday, it hadn’t sunk in yet that he was back in her life and wanted her again. And there was no doubt in her mind after Friday night that he did, in fact, want her. She’d felt exactly how much before his roommates had barged in.

  That thought had her glancing around, her arms crossed over herself. “Are your roommates here?”

  Matt stepped closer to her, his hands going to her waist, pulling her against him. The action forced her to drop her arms, and they naturally went to his biceps. He held her loosely, but his intentions were undeniably clear. “Nope. They’re hanging out with some couple friends or some shit like that tonight.”

  Hannah nodded, still looking around, anywhere but at Matt’s face now inches from her own.

  “Hannah.” His voice came out an amused rumble, and she forced herself to turn her face in his direction.

  With another deep breath, she raised her eyes to his. “Yeah?”

  He leaned down and kissed her. It was almost chaste, his lips soft and light against hers, but the way his fingers tightened on her hips made his kiss seem like a precursor to more. When he pulled back, his mouth still held the hint of a smile. “Are you okay?”

  Now she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. “Yeah.”

  His smile grew bigger. “You seem a little nervous.”

  She chuckled. “Yeah, a little.” She waved a hand around. “I’m just not sure what to expect here. What this is. What you want, exactly.”

  His fingers flexed on her hips again. “Just you. Just this. Us. Another chance.” His voice dropped lower. “I missed you.”

  Hannah’s breath stopped in her throat at that declaration. At least Matt didn’t mince words. That hadn’t changed. He’d always been direct with her, especially about the fact that he wanted her, from the very beginning. But she pulled away and turned toward the couch, shaking her head. “You missed me, huh? Really?”

  She turned back to him, arms crossed over her chest and eyes narrowed. The coffee table stood between them now, providing a needed barrier. His hands on her body and his lips on her skin short-circuited her brain. And that kind of statement from the guy who’d just left her hanging seemed a bit ridiculous.

  He stuffed his hands into his pockets, his face serious. “Yeah. I did.”

  She tilted her head, one eyebrow creeping up her forehead. “Since when? Yesterday? Friday? Or before?”

  At least he had the grace to look sheepish at the last question. One hand came up to rub the back of his neck, and he dropped his gaze for a moment before looking her in the eyes again. “Look, I’m sorry about what happened before. About the way things ended.”

  Hannah snorted. “Ended? You mean the way you left me hanging?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, it was a dick move. I’m sorry. Really, I am. I was young and stupid, and I didn’t realize what I was giving up when I let you go like that.”

  “You didn’t let me go, Matt. You ghosted me. At least if you’d had the balls to end things I would’ve had some closure.”

  He nodded again, his mouth twisted in a grimace, his blue eyes pained. “I know. Believe me, I’ve regretted it since I realized you’d stopped trying to reach out to me, and I didn’t know what to do about it or how to make it up to you, especially with you still in high school somewhere else and planning on going to college on the other side of the state. I figured it was better for both of us to just let it go. It was shitty of me to ghost like that and not have the balls to have a hard conversation, and for that I’m so sorry.” He took a step around the coffee table so he could get close to her, but she moved away and held up a hand. “Please, Hannah. I am sorry. Do you want me to beg?”

  She shook her head. “Just give me a second, okay?”

  “Whatever you need. I can wait.” His hands went back in his pockets, but his eyes never left her face.

  She thought over what he’d said for a minute, her chin tucked into her chest, her chin length bob swinging forward to hide her face. He’d apologized. Isn’t that what she wanted from him? Elena had been hounding her all weekend about what had happened Friday night. She finally gave in and told her about it on Saturday, and Elena had been a little disgusted with her that she’d let things get as far as she had without some kind of discussion about how things had ended before. “That boy needs to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness,” had been Elena’s exact words. Matt had basically offered to do just that. She didn’t want him on his knees begging, though. She didn’t get a thrill out of having that kind of power over a man. But she did appreciate the apology.

  “You were young and stupid, huh?”

  “I was.”

  At least he wasn’t trying to defend himself or deny that it had been a shitty way to treat her. He acknowledged the mistake and apologized. That had to count for something, right?

  “And you’re older and wiser now?”

  A crooked grin appeared on his face. “I like to think so.”

  She smiled back. Really, it was a forgone conclusion. She couldn’t stay away from him now if she tried. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Okay. I forgive you.”

  Relief suffused his features. He started to take a step toward her again but stopped himself. “Can I touch you now?”

  In answer she stepped closer to him and placed her hands on his chest. His arms slid around her waist again, and he pulled her tightly against him, dropping his mouth to hers.

  This kiss was anything but chaste. He swept his tongue along her lower lip, and she opened f
or him. With one arm wound around her waist, keeping her body flush with his, he moved the other up to tangle in her hair, pulling her head back more so he could taste her at his leisure. Heat gathered at her center, and her clothes felt stifling. When he broke the kiss, she was gasping for breath, his hand still in her hair, his eyes staring down at her face, focused on her kiss-swollen lips.

  “Oh, God, Hannah. I missed you so much. I didn’t even realize it until I had you in my arms again. This feels so right. You have to feel it too.”

  Without giving her a chance to answer, he released his hold on her hair and pressed her face into his shoulder, burying his face in her hair and kissing her scalp. She didn’t know what to say to that, and it seemed like he didn’t really want her to answer anyway. Was this for real? Was he for real? Was there a chance that she’d really meant more to him than she’d thought all along?

  That thought left her reeling and unbalanced, clinging to Matt for stability. He held her there for what seemed like a long time, and she relished the feel of him against her, his strong arms clasped around her body, his warmth, his solid muscles against her front and under her hands.

  He was reluctant to let go when she started to push away, but finally did, looking down into her eyes again. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She gave him a small smile. “I just want to take off my coat.”

  He laughed. “Of course. Here, let me take it for you.”

  She unbuttoned her gray pea coat and let him slide it down her arms. He placed it over the back of the recliner before moving back to her and taking her hands in his. “Last night I invited you over for dinner. Can you do that tonight? Or do you have too much homework again?”

  She smiled, a full smile this time. “I brought my books with me just in case. I can stay for dinner. What did you have in mind?”

  The smile he returned was radiant. He hadn’t looked this happy any time she’d seen him recently. It was fun to be able to cause someone so much pleasure with such a simple action as joining them for dinner.

  “Chinese? Or would you rather have pizza?”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Matt went to the kitchen and called his favorite Chinese place while Hannah got her things from her car. He heard the front door open and close just before he hung up and came out to the living room again. Hannah had a red backpack slung over one shoulder, her thumb hooked in the strap, her cheeks pink from being in the cold. She still looked nervous and uncertain, but he liked having her in his house. He never would’ve imagined this scenario in a million years.

  She tugged on the strap and looked at him questioningly. “I brought clothes. Is there somewhere I can change?”

  Matt swallowed, all the saliva in his mouth gone at the thought of her stripping right here. Or him helping her out of her clothes. But that wasn’t what she asked. She was barely letting him touch her right now. Dinner first. Maybe he could see about getting her clothes off altogether later.

  He cleared his throat, stuffing his hands in his pockets again to hide his growing cock. “Sure. Yeah.” He nodded toward his room. “You can change in my room.”

  He stepped toward the door, turning on the light and snagging a t-shirt and pair of boxers off the floor, tossing them in the hamper in the corner. “Here you go.”

  She slipped past him, looking around his room. He looked at it too, seeing the familiar surroundings with new eyes. His room was pretty sparse—a queen bed on a basic frame, the gray sheets and black comforter thrown back, a dresser and side table that held the detritus of his life—papers and mail, spare change, keys, assorted unidentified objects. A closet took up one wall, the door hanging open, a window opposite, the only decorations in the room the sketches Megan had drawn of him last semester. Soon he’d have to stop thinking of his life in terms of semesters. Now he worked. No more semesters dividing time into neat blocks for him. It was all just one long slog from here on out, one month running into the next, maybe a vacation once a year to break it up. That thought depressed him more than he’d like to admit.

  Hannah stepped up to one of the sketches on the wall over his dresser. “This is really good.”

  “Megan did those for a class last semester. She decided I needed a couple of them.”

  Her eyes drifted to him, looking him over where he still stood in the doorway, before going back to the sketch. It was the one where she’d sat on the floor while he played Call of Duty. She’d captured the explosion on the screen, and the way his body lifted off the couch, his fist in the air in triumph.

  “She’s really good. I guess agreeing to model for her won’t be that bad if this is what the results look like.” She turned her head toward him again. “Will she have us pose together do you think? Or do you know?”

  Matt shook his head. “I don’t know. She hasn’t told me what the plan is. Chris might know. If you’re still here when they get back, you can ask her.” He noticed that Hannah’s cheeks turned a little pink when he brought up his roommates. Interesting. She must be thinking about what Chris and Megan had interrupted over the weekend. He couldn’t stop the smirk from tugging at his lips. When he thought about that, his blood rushed too, but not to his cheeks.

  Hannah nodded. “Okay.” Then she stared at him, an expectant look on her face. After a moment, she dropped her eyes. “Um, I’d like to change now.”

  He gave himself a mental shake. Stop ogling the girl in your room and get out of her way, jackass. But his smirk turned into a grin. “You want me to leave then?”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “Yes. Now.”

  He chuckled, backing out of the room and pulling the door closed behind him. He stopped in the doorway to the kitchen, banging his head lightly against the wall. What was he doing just standing there like a moron? Smooth, Matt. She’s skittish. She’s not going to just pick up where they left off, even if that’s what he’d like. He had better game than this. What the hell was his problem?

  He made his way to the couch and dropped down, his head resting against the back while he waited for Hannah to change clothes. Imagining her naked in his bedroom was not helping at all. Reaching a hand down, he adjusted the semi he sported. God, this chick was going to kill him if he couldn’t get his hands on her soon. He was already tired of jacking off to memories of her from the summer they’d spent together and the new ones he’d made with her the other night.

  The door to his bedroom opened and Hannah came into the living room. He sat up, watching her stash her backpack next to the coffee table, standing there with her arms crossed over a pink long sleeved t-shirt paired with skinny jeans that fit her like a second skin. She tucked her hair behind one ear, a tight smile on her lips.

  Matt sat back and patted the cushion next to him before putting his arm along the back of the couch. “C’mere. We’ll see what’s on TV while we wait for food if that’s okay.”

  Hannah nodded, bending down again to get a book out of her bag. The low scoop neck of her shirt opened, allowing him a view of her breasts nestled in a tan bra. He sucked in a breath, and she looked up, confusion on her face until she realized where he was looking. Her cheeks pinkened again, the shade almost matching her shirt, and she stood up quickly, clutching her textbook to her chest.

  He chuckled. “It’s okay, Hannah. Come sit down. I won’t bite.” He waited for her to settle in next to him before leaning over and whispering, “Unless you want me to.”

  Her lips parted, and her breath hitched. He sat back, satisfied with her reaction. She might blush and act nervous, but he affected her, and now he knew it for sure. She wanted him, maybe even as badly as he wanted her. He just needed to get her comfortable enough with him again to act on it. Too bad she was so gun shy. The girl he remembered had been responsive and uninhibited. He’d been surprised that she’d managed to hang onto her V-card as long as she had with the way she’d responded to him.

  Maybe it had just been the deadline on their time together that made it possible for her to let go like that. They’
d had a vacation romance, with only a handful of weeks together. God, they’d been lucky to get that long. He didn’t know anyone else whose family went away for weeks at a time like her friend’s family did that summer. But he’d had her naked and in his bed just a few days after they’d met, and she’d given him her virginity by the end of the first week. From her reactions now, the timeline would likely be much longer. He stifled a groan at the thought of how many more weeks he’d only get relief from his own hand.

  “Matt?”

  He turned to find Hannah’s questioning eyes on him. “Yeah?”

  “Are we going to watch something? Or are you going to just sit there and scowl at the blank TV for a while longer?” She held up her book. “It’s okay with me either way. I have reading to do, and the scowling’s quieter, so that’s fine. But you said you wanted to watch something, so I was just curious.” Amusement lit up her eyes, her dry humor coming out.

  He narrowed his eyes at her, his arm coming off the back of the couch and squeezing her to his side. Her breath hitched again, and he didn’t bother to fight the smug smile that came to his face. “I was deciding if I wanted TV or a movie.”

  She shrugged against him and adjusted so she was more comfortable, her back against his chest and his arm now across her shoulders, her knees bent and feet up on the couch, her book propped against her legs. Her head tilted back so she could make eye contact. “I have to get through a couple chapters before class tomorrow. I’ll stop when the food comes.”

  He dropped a kiss on her head. “Alright. TV it is. It’s only reruns on right now anyway.” He settled on a channel playing endless reruns of Big Bang Theory.