by L. P. Maxa
Luke smiled. “Or produce it ourselves.”
That made the rest of the guys smile too. Seemed like everyone liked that idea. I knew nothing about how the music industry worked, but producing their own album sounded like a risky move. Of course, the guys were probably famous enough to do whatever the hell they wanted.
Luke took a sip of his coffee and then cleared his throat. “Uh, I have a friend that is going to be meeting me in Arkansas…I just wanted to give y’all a heads up. We, uh, won’t be staying on the bus. She has a room at a hotel not far from the venue. So…yeah.”
After Luke’s little announcement the mood at the table shifted. Jacks put down his phone and started grinning. Dash rested his arm around the back of Lexi’s chair, shifting closer to her. Smith stilled beside me, his eyes darting between Lexi and Luke.
I leaned towards Smith and whispered, “What’s happ—”
“Which friend?” Lexi leaned forward, bringing her face as close as possible to Luke’s. Which wasn’t easy considering they were sitting across from each other and her stomach seemed to be getting in the way.
“Cali.” Luke met her gaze head on.
Lexi rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair. “Cali? Cali fucked around with her personal trainer while y’all were dating.”
“Yes. Lexi, she did. But that three years ago.” Luke took a deep breath. “And I’m not going to date her again, we’re just going to hang out after the show.”
Jacks scratched his bed head and drank some of his orange juice and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Lexi rolled her eyes and handed him a napkin. He reminded me of a five-year-old. “Damn, Luke, have you ever dated a chick that hasn’t cheated on you?”
Lexi and Luke looked at each other; they seemed to be contemplating the same thing. After a few seconds Lexi shook her head slowly. “Nope. I can’t think of one.”
Luke kept quiet.
“If you ask me, I don’t see the appeal. Why go where you’ve already been? I’m all about new experiences myself.” Jacks took another big gulp of his juice. He was adorable, in an extremely boyish kind of way.
Luke leaned back in his chair, throwing his arm across the back of mine. “It’s just easier. I mean, they already know how I like it. Plus, afterwards it’s never awkward. There is never that moment when I want them to leave, but they try to stay. We just hang out and catch up.”
Lexi scoffed, “They know how you like it? Please. I doubt your tastes are all that complex, Luke.”
I giggled at Luke’s pissed off expression. And Dash glowered in Lexi’s direction. “Kitten, don’t talk about Luke’s sexual preferences.”
Smith pushed Luke’s arm off my chair. “What you mean is, you love rubbing these chicks’ noses in how successful and famous you are. You give them a taste and then send them on their way regretting the day they did you wrong.”
Luke wore a wicked smile. “Maybe a little of that too.”
Jacks shook his head, “There isn’t one ex, uh, chick that I’d want to nail again.” He slapped the table. “Oh wait. I take that back. Tara Fox. I’d round two that one.”
Dash cocked his head. “Tara Fox? Didn’t she get pissed off and throw a beer at your head?”
Jacks grinned. “Yeah. But it was worth it. She made it up to me later.”
Smith let out a quick laugh. “A beer to the head is worth two in the bush?”
“Something like that.” Jacks winked at me and then Smith kicked him under the table.
These guys were cracking me up. The way they talked about woman and sex was horrible. Really, it was. But I couldn’t stop giggling. Before I knew it I was going to be as bad as Lexi, calling girls chicks and talking about banging. When the waitress brought our food to the table I looked around, eyeing everyone’s choices. “You guys need to eat better than this. Daily fruits and vegetables aren’t really a suggestion, they are a necessity.” I grabbed a handful of Smith’s fries and put them on my plate replacing them with some mixed fruit out the bowl I’d ordered.
Smith leaned over, putting his mouth next to my ear. “I thought I wasn’t really any of your concern, Cher.”
He was right, I’d told him those exact words not forty-eight hours ago. But, twice today I’d taken it upon myself to try and save this man. There was just something about Smith, something that made me want to take care of him and chase the shadows away.
***
We had been back on the bus for two hours now. Jacks and Luke were lying on the floor next to Dagger playing Grand Theft Auto, crashing expensive cars and hooking up with prostitutes. Something told me that wasn’t too far off from Jacks’s actual real life. Smith and I were each in a recliner while Lexi and Dash were on the couch. Her head was in his lap and his hand was on her stomach. I couldn’t help but stare, couldn’t help but watch the two of them. It was so damn obvious how much he loved her, how much he loved his unborn baby. “Hey, you guys want to hear the baby’s heart beat?”
Lexi’s face lit up. “Yeah! Can we?”
I stood going down the hall and grabbing my backpack. “I forgot I brought a little monitor with me.” I knelt next to her on the couch. “Lift your shirt.” I turned the machine on and put the wand on her bump. I moved it around until the sound of the baby’s heartbeat filled the room.
Lexi looked up at Dash. “Is that not the best sound in the world?”
He smiled down at her and caressed her cheek. “It sure the hell is, Kitten.”
Jacks and Luke had paused their game; everyone was listening and grinning from ear to ear. It was evident that everyone was in awe over this baby. I let them listen for another minute and then turned it off and put it away. “We can do that whenever you want.” I sat back down in the recliner. “It’s easy to use, you don’t even have to wait for me.”
Lexi turned on her side, facing me. “Thank you, so much, for that.”
I nodded, a small smile on my face. I couldn’t help but be a little bit jealous of them. They had everything I hoped to have one day.
Smith whirled his chair around and propped his feet up on mine. I could feel his eyes on me, watching. He was always watching, so observant of everyone around him. “You want kids, Cher?”
I took a deep breath. “Sure. I’d love to have a family one day.”
Luke paused the game again, causing Jacks to growl in frustration. He tilted his head back towards me. “White picket fence, 2.5 kids and a hubby that works a nine to five?”
I scoffed, “Uh, I was thinking more like a house near the beach, a few kids, and a husband that I still fall for every day.”
Smith used his foot to rock my chair, bringing my attention from Luke back to him. “I still fall for every day?”
“I just hope that at the end of the day, every day, I would choose him all over again.” I knew it sounded ideal and romantic, but I’d read that somewhere a few years ago and it stuck with me. My parents had been married for twenty-eight years and they were still in love. They were always honest with us girls that marriage took work. And you both had to choose to work at it. If one person put in the work, but the other didn’t, it would end.
Jacks snorted. “As long as my wife lets me fall into her every day, I’ll be happy.”
Lexi’s eyes went wide. “You plan on having a wife one day?”
He paused the game, ignoring Luke’s irritated glare, and looked over at Lexi. “What’s that supposed to mean? Of course I plan on getting married one day.”
Lexi narrowed her eyes. “Really?”
Jacks grinned. “To a twenty-six-year-old blonde playmate, when I’m eighty-six like Hugh Hefner.”
Lexi nodded once. “There it is.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Dream big, buddy.”
My laughter died when I turned my attention back to Smith. The way he was watching me was…intense. “What about you, Smith? You plan on settling down one day when you’re old and gray?”
He smiled. Not his rock star smile, but his sweet re
al smile. “Oh, I think I’ll settle down before that.” He rocked my chair again, whispering so only I could hear. “Just gotta make sure I find the right girl.”
Chapter Eleven
Smith
What in the holy hell had just come out of my mouth? Was I high? I closed my eyes trying to remember. No. Wasn’t high. I had wanted to take something earlier in the day but that was when Dylan let me lie in her lap. Okay, so no excuse for basically just telling Dylan I was into her. Was I into her? I thought I just wanted to fuck her. It had been so long since I was into a girl. Well, emotionally, I mean. How could I even tell? I liked her. She was beautiful and sexy and smart and direct and she let me touch her. I was looking forward to my little snuggle on the couch experiment. I was super pissed that she was in another chair and not sitting right next to me. So…I guess I was into her. Huh, who could’ve seen that coming?
Lexi yawned.
“That’s our cue. Come on, Kitten, let’s go take a nap.” Dash helped her sit up and then helped her to her feet.
She stopped next to Dylan’s chair on her way out of the room. “Should I be this tired all the time? I get to where I literally can’t keep my eyes open.”
Dylan nodded. “You are growing another person. It takes a lot of energy out of you. Sleep as much as you need to. As long as you are still getting some form of exercise every day, you’ll be fine.”
Luke kicked his foot out and caught Dash in the ass. “And she means actual exercise. Not banging your stupid boyfriend.” He tilted his head back, looking at Dylan, “Right?”
She laughed. “Right. Although sex is actually good for you right now, you don’t want it to be the only cardio you get. Are you still doing the prenatal yoga?”
Jacks pointed his finger at Lexi. “Nope. She’s not. She hasn’t done it since we’ve been back on the bus.”
Lexi gave him the stink eye. “Can it, Jacks.”
Dash put his hand on the small of her back and led her down the hall, “We’ll start the yoga back up tomorrow morning.”
After they were gone I saw Jacks eyeing the couch. He looked at me; I looked at him. And we both made a dive for it. “Ha! Beat you this time.”
Jacks got up and got in the recliner I’d just vacated. “You sure did. And sober at that.”
How did he always know? Jacks could always tell whether I’d used, what I’d used. It seemed like Jacks went through life paying attention to literally nothing. But he could read me like a damn book. I glanced at Dylan, wondering what her reaction would be to Jacks’s words. She met my eyes but looked away quickly. “Cher, come lie with me.” I wanted her next to me. I needed her next to me. Needed her to see that I was sober…that I was worth her time.
She just stared at me for several long moments. But just like she had with me this morning, I made the decision for her. I reached across the room, taking her hand, and pulling her towards me. I lay down and nestled her little body against my chest, tucking her head under my chin. At the same time we each took a deep breath and let out a content sign. Well, it was content on my end at least. I could hear the smile in her voice. “Jacks is right. We spend a lot of time on this couch.”
I wrapped my arms around her tighter. “For some damn reason, there is nowhere else I’d rather be lately.” There I went again, spewing sweet fucking sentiments. It was like my mouth and my brain were no longer connected. My mouth sometimes got rerouted to a connection with my dick, but I had no idea which part of my body was in charge right now. I didn’t want to seem like a sap, so I added, “Well, there’s one place I’d rather be…but I’m afraid you’ll turn me down.”
She snorted, “I will.”
I leaned in and inhaled the scent of her hair. “I’ll wear you down.”
Dylan brought her hand up and laid it on my chest, right over my heart. “Don’t let me fall, okay?”
“What?” Her words made the air catch in my lungs. Was she falling for me? Did she not want to fall for me? Of course she didn’t, I’d yet to give her a reason to even like me. Did I want her to fall for me? Maybe? Nah, not a good idea…
“Off the couch. Don’t let me fall of the couch again. Last night was okay because I was on the other side, your body kept me in place. But, now, when I’m on the edge like this? I might tumble right off.”
I kissed the top of her head. I fucking kissed the top of her head? It was official: I was losing my damn mind. Why wasn’t I running for the hills to make these feelings go away? This wasn’t me. This wasn’t what I wanted out of life, and it sure as hell wasn’t what I deserved. My phone started vibrating in my pocket, and when I took it out I saw my dad’s name and number on the screen. I silenced the call immediately. That right there was what I needed—a little reminder from dear old dad that I wasn’t the right guy for Dylan. She deserved more. She deserved better.
Jacks looked over at us. “You can land on my dick any time you want, baby doll.”
“Shut the hell up, jackass.” His words made me irrationally angry. I knew he was just kidding, but the thought of Dylan anywhere near Jacks’s oddly large dick pissed me off. No joke. The guy had the biggest dick I’d ever seen. None of us liked to bring it up. Absolutely no pun intended.
Dylan rubbed her hand on my chest. “Such language.”
***
Night two. Because of all the paparazzi and reporters Chase insisted that the six of us ride from the bus to the venue in a SUV with seriously tinted windows. So we were all in the bus trying to get dressed at the same time. Dash and Lexi showered together, saying they were saving time and water. I called BS after they had been in there for twenty minutes. We let Dylan shower next, because the hot water would be gone soon. Sure enough, by the time it was my turn, I had to take an ice cold shower. Which was probably a good thing because sleeping all wrapped up on the couch with Dylan had given me a semi.
There were three mirrors in this bus: a full-length in the back bedroom, one okay-sized one in the bathroom, and a tiny one that Lexi pulled out of one of her bathroom bags when we were in dire need. Not that any of us took a long time fixing ourselves up to perform, but we at least needed to look the rock-and-roll part. I was feeling antsy again. I couldn’t sneak away and do a line; there were fucking bodies everywhere. I was angry that I needed to do coke. I wasn’t sure when I had gotten to this point again.
Not that there wasn’t stress in my life. I mean, between my dad calling nonstop and our tour date in New Orleans literally getting closer every day, maybe I shouldn’t be too surprised. I was sitting on the couch, waiting for my turn at one of the mirrors. My leg was bouncing and my foot was tapping the ground. And unlike earlier, Dylan wasn’t next to me to calm me down.
I got up and went into the bathroom. She was standing at the mirror putting on her makeup humming one of my all-time favorite songs. Standing behind her, I could see over her head. Huh, this could work. “Hand me that bag on the shelf, Cher.”
She gave me my bag and I opened it grabbing my hair product. And then I just stared in my bag. I focused in on that tiny little zipper to that small, secret compartment. I was so close, if I could just get her to leave the bathroom for like three minutes then I—”
“Hey. You okay?”
I looked up and met her eyes in the mirror. She had that same look on her face as earlier. Only this time, there was a pinch of disappointment as well. Yeah, I wasn’t fooling her. “I’m fine, Cher.”
She smiled, but it was forced. I’d seen this girl smile enough to know when she didn’t mean it. And dammit, for a person who doled out fake smiles all day every day, I was not a fan of getting her fake smile. I zipped my bag and handed it back to her. I fixed my hair, standing behind her while she finished getting ready. It wasn’t lost on me how domestic this seemed. I was done after a few minutes but I stayed, watching her. Afraid to leave the bathroom and be alone with my thoughts.
She turned and looked up at me. “Make me a drink?”
I grinned, wrapping my arms around her waist and play
fully lifting her up so that we were eye to eye. “I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you down there.” I wanted to kiss her. Our mouths were so close; it wouldn’t take much.
Dylan smiled, a real smile this time. “I said, make me a drink. Please.”
Guess she’d given up on the “all work no play” tour. Either that or she was effectively distracting me the best way she knew how. I put her down. “Yes ma’am.”
I went to the bar and fixed both of us a jack and coke; hers had more coke and mine had more jack. When I turned around to bring her the drink she was already walking towards me. Holy fuck she looked good. She was wearing skintight leather leggings, which I was pretty sure belonged to Lexi. Another t-shirt, this one was tight and had a gnarly looking skull on it, but the skull was wearing thick-framed glasses. And her red converse sneakers, which were allllll Dylan. I had to work to swallow past the lump in my throat, and my pants got even tighter. My dick was straining against my zipper by this point. “Here’s uh, your drink.” I held it out towards her.
She took it and clinked her glass against mine. “Thanks.” She took a sip and nodded. “Pretty good.”
“I used to be a bartender.” I grabbed her hand and led her to the couch. Everyone else was still getting dressed. I could hear Luke and Dash arguing in the bedroom. Something about Luke getting out so Lexi could change and Luke saying he’d seen her change before.
Dylan crossed her legs and my mouth started to water. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, after Jared and I moved to Texas we worked in a, um, bar for a few months. Until the band got big.” By bar I meant strip club. That’s not where I got introduced to uppers if that’s what you’re thinking. The uppers were a gift from my dad on my fourteenth birthday. He decided I was old enough to start working for the family business. My family is fucked up.
Jacks came out of the bathroom and sat down in one of the chairs. “Hey, I want a drink.”
I pointed to the bar. “You know how to make a jack and coke, man.”