by Xaara
The two pilots never talked directly about Falynn's death, but Myn had a feeling that Janson knew he was Myn's support. Janson was careful to steer the conversation around discussions of interpersonal relationships. Though Myn and Falynn had kept their relationship relatively private, Janson and a few others in the squadron had noticed the sudden attraction between them, drawn appropriate conclusions, and silently approved. She had been good for him, and the rest of the squadron had recognized the quality of the match and wisely stood apart.
Almost an hour later, Myn had glanced at his chrono, noticed with some surprise the time, and told Janson that he had somewhere to be. It was only partially a lie - he had promised himself that he would watch the sunset, which would take place in less than a half-hour. As he left the room, Janson palmed the door open for him, nodded a farewell, and said, "I hope you find her." Whether he meant Falynn - who Myn would never find again - or someone else, Myn did not know. Puzzling over this, he had walked away from the other man.
* * *
He sits cross-legged on the roof of the hangar - illegally, as he's not supposed to have access to the area - and watches the lights come on in his sector of Coruscant. He wonders if Falynn would have liked the synthetic beauty of it. But she's gone, he thinks, his thoughts breaking into his memories, and I won't ever get to ask her or see her again and I don't know what to do but I'm not going to panic no matter how much I want to because she wouldn't want me to. She'd tell me to stand here and take it. She'd say that I've been through worse and come out the better for it. But she'd understand that it hurts just the same.
It is ultimately the realization that she would understand that allows him to think through his grief. That and the sudden knowledge that she would want him to continue. She had not taken time from her short years to help him without expecting some sort of return on the investment. She had forced him to be a man that she could respect and perhaps even love. To return to his state of abject misery would be to betray all that she worked for.
Myn smiles.
If he knows one thing for an absolute certainty, he knows he will not disappoint her.
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